Word.

I go by Burgess now and I like calling people chumps. Stick around?

[captainessburg]

I reserve the right to keep myself safe.

[no-use-906547-2000-deactivated2]

[surprisebitch]

im the gray text

[omghotmemes]

metamorphosis

[captainessburg]

Is it too much to ask

To meet someone who is as interested in me as I am them?

I feel so rejected lately.

And chubby.

And gross.

😩

[captainessburg]

If your cells completely change every seven years

Then the person I am today has never kissed you

[captainessburg]

My friend: what're you smiling about ;)

Me: nothing

My head: tutant meenage neetle teetles

[fonzworthcutlass]

You ever be so comfortable in bed, you start rubbing your legs together like a cricket?

[lets-do-the-time-warp-again-dea]

tumblr dot com posts are getting so relatable im convinced the government has 24/7 surveillance on me and is feeding it to me through this website to see if i notice

[cheese24k]

Monkey teaches Human how to Crush Leaves

[yungdoctor-deactivated20191230]

this changed me

[throughhelenhighwater]

Studio Ghibli films + food

stills from My Neighbor Totoro (1988), Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989), Howl’s Moving Castle (2004), & Ponyo (2008)

[cat-parlour]

[starlingheart]

Foot

[infernalhera]

The beans are growing nicely this year.

[tiredpug]

i work at a gym largely frequented by older women, and today as one of them left after her workout she accidentally pulled the entire door handle off and just slowly looked at her bicep in horror as if she was terrified of her new strength. it was beautiful.

[meladoodle]

my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”

[meladoodle]

[meladoodle]

i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone

[auburngal]

If you don’t reblog cauliflower granddad, then you’re just a mean person.

[mymodernmet]

Pop-Up Bed Tent Easily Offers Privacy for Anyone With Anxiety

[boku-no-miko]

OH MY GOD I WANT 50.

[ofbodiesofcities]

E N T E R  T H E  D  E  P  R  E  S  S  I  O  N   C  A  V  E

[newtgeiszler]

SENSORY MUTING HUT

[lucky-fuyu]

INSECURE ANXIETY HOUSE

[sealed-ruin]

[kind-hearts-deactivated20150614]

[littlebunni18-deactivated201809]

🐰

[bob-belcher]

[inelegantprose]

forget young hermione reading matilda how about young harry seeing star wars ??

like maybe dudley goes through some a b s u r d star wars phase (but one in which he like, gets a lot of vader shit or w/e – one of those kids who has endless stormtrooper action figures and it’s like ?? ok bb fascist) and harry has the chance to like watch the movie from a crack in the cupboard and he sees this kid that nobody cares about like moving shit with his mind and he can do that too 

so when hagrid’s all “harry yer a––”

he’s like “i know i know, i’m a jedi!!” 

[wewereinfinitelywolfstar]

Yaaaassss

[tastefullyoffensive]

Is your dad Ron Swanson? (via blooper2112)

[edgebug]

this is the money axe of good fortune, reblog to receive money and axes