lmao

I would delete this but im too lazy

[captainimg]

Davenport, wildly waving around Ernest the Nitpicker in Merle's face: who the FUCK IS THIS!?!

[fishfingersandscarves]

they’re in the mood

[trainwreckgenerator]

In the swap AU does that mean that Lucretia still has her youth because she never went to Wonderland to reclaim the bell and that Davenport did that instead? Also does it mean Davenport has an Extremely Extra big ass portrait of himself hanging in his office?

yeah

[najsigt]

Jenkins is everyone’s gay dad and Davenport is 100% done with Edward everyone.

(Oh also I changed June to “the world greatest girl sheriff” instead of detective because a lot of people suggested it and I think it’s super fitting!)

[officialspec]

a mouse…………………

[trans-deals-warlock]

a family can be tacky goth twins and their respective boyfriends, the most powerful woman in the world, a dog loving power house, a boy detective, two crunchy grandpas and their kids, a lizard and a lizard’s wife, a cook turned magic head master and her mayor wife, and a violinist

[crappylilcomix]

Morning thoughts about TAZ

—Some point in Stolen Century— Lucretia: Hey everyone, um…I’m gay. And ace… Taako: I’m gay Lup: I’m bi Barry: I’m bi Dav: I’m gay Merle: I’m pan. As in pansexual not the deity Magnus: I’m still figuring things out Lucretia: Oh shit….really? Taako: Lucretia we’re in SPACE; you think we’re gonna be STRAIGHT?

[captainimg]

Davenport: Merle is our master horticulturalist. He knows the Latin names for all the plans.

Merle: [to camera] Whenever Dav asks me for the Latin names of any of our plants, I just give him the name of rappers.

Davenport: And those over there?

Merle: Uh, those are some Diddies. There's some Bonethugs and Harmoniums right there.

Davenport: Growing beautifully.

Merle: Those Ludacrises are coming in great.

[incorrect-taz-quotes]

Merle: Hang on, am I the only straight person on the team?

Davenport: I’ve seen the way you look at me. You’re not that straight. 

[fnafvr]

davenport: we gotta terminate the voidfish-

magnus:

[kieranquigley]

THE STOLEN CENTURY: Begin Year 1

[qie-board-blog-deactivated20220]

based off this post and the connection that @garfield-the-dealswarlock made!

[cereovo]

sorry for no art take this

[silverbjork]

Cant belive mookie and mavis has two dads now thanks griffin and thanks lune for opening my eyes to these old men

[themonsterghost]

holy shit, i am loving the stolen century.

[fantasysamsclub]

balance cast ranked by spider

magnus: don’t let spiders near this man. he will cry. 0/10

merle: is okay with spiders. nature has lots of spiders in it.  6/10

taako: kills all spiders on sight 3/10 

carey and killian: both compete to see who can kill the spider first. 8/10

angus mcdonald: puts spiders outside if he finds them in his home 7/10

johann: ignores spiders until they leave his field of vision 2/10

avi: filled an entire pod with spiders and shot it at lucas’ lab 10/10

lucretia: neutral to spiders. doesn’t want to touch them but knows they are important 5/10

davenport: a spider landed on the dashboard of his pilot’s console once and he almost crashed the ship 4/10

barry: i’m pretty sure barry would eat spiders if you asked him to 10/10

lup: i’m pretty sure she asks barry to eat spiders 9/10

john: “average person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy (sic) just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. John Vore, who lives in the hunger & eats over 100,000,000 each cycle, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

kravitz: pays birds to eat all spiders within a 10 foot radius of him 9/10

magic brian: geez. golly. i have no idea. how do i rank this dude that calls himself the black spider this is IMPOSSIBLE 

bryan: is spider. 11/10

[incorrect-taz-quotes]

Davenport: One bonus of being an older adult is grossly misusing modern slang on purpose and watching the other crew members cry inside.

Davenport: A fine example: the other day I pointed at the Light of Creation and, while looking Lup right in the eye, went “Man, is that bae or what, huh?” and the look on her face was something I will treasure for years.