CAPTAIN RED OF THE SKELD

transporting ore+ across the galaxy is a tough job but someone's gotta do it, and that someone is me. captain red. of the skeld. captain of the skeld....... me.

[captainoftheskeld]

Everyday I grow restless

[captainoftheskeld]

hello captain red

it is pride month, you know what that means

What? Do you want me to make, like, gay crewmates or something??? What?????

[purple-from-amongus]

”Excuse me? I just walked past Navigation and saw the captain playing a dating sim instead of piloting the ship. I feel like we should do something about this…”

- Maroon

Oh of fucking course

@captainoftheskeld hey what the fuck

[captainoftheskeld]

What???? God forbid a theythem plays a game >:/

[captainoftheskeld]

@purple-from-amongus

You uh, got something you wanna share with the class?...

[captainoftheskeld]

Why does purple hate you?

Do you know they hate you?

Here we go again... Yes, I'm aware that they hate me. The reason why isn't something I can disclose without them poisoning my drink, so I'll leave it up for discussion. The most I'll say is that lil' ol' Purps is jealous that Redzy is captain and they're not.

[captainoftheskeld]

I'm tired of sleeping in the medbay. You as our leader need to do something about the lack of sleeping quarters on the ship. I haven't been able to get a proper goodnight's rest without the medbay equipment beeping in my ear. This is a violation of proper rights for crewmate.

You and your union can go... uh... write an insult for me, because I don't have a comeback ready yet! Take that! Union lover!

[captainoftheskeld]

I'd like everyone (and their parents) to know that any accusations you hear that regard me having a profile on a dating app where the only picture of me on said profile is of me holding a small fish that I didn't even catch... are FALSE. I don't know who started this rumor, but whoever it was is getting a taste of the trash chute, I SWEAR ON MIRA AND PURPLE'S CAR INSURANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[purple-from-amongus]

You like reddddd

I tolerate him at best but keep telling yourself that

[captainoftheskeld]

”Sir, I just walked past MedBay and saw Lime ranting about lizard people like a lunatic while Blue was listening intently and staring at them longingly. Should I be concerned?”

- Maroon

Naaaahh, it's all fine and dandy! No biggie! Does sound a bit familiar though, hm.....

[captainoftheskeld]

What's the strongest thing you've broken with your signature Captains Kick?

Probably an entire building. Cuz' I totally did that. Everyone swooned over ME after that. Did I mention that I'm the hot one now?

[captainoftheskeld]

OMG CAPTAIN, HAIIIIIII!!!!!!! :DDD

You were the main reason all those crewmates died, captain of the Skeld.

WHAAAATTT noooo!!! I was just making sure everyone was safe! Like a good captain! Following what MIRA says! Cuz' I'm good! Very good! The best captain you'll EVER meet, actually!

[captainoftheskeld]

[captainoftheskeld]

We need new security systems

- @purple-from-amongus

No can do purps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! handbook says that i am not allowed to listen to anyone who's name starts with a P 🤷‍♂️ lots of love