i don't do bad sauce passes
Cosimo Galluzzi
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Peter Solarz
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Not today Justin
tumblr dot com
tannertan36
PR's Tumblrdome
AnasAbdin
One Nice Bug Per Day
trying on a metaphor
Origami Around
Love Begins
will byers stan first human second
ojovivo
occasionally subtle
#extradirty
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@captainoftrolling
"…."
"So long as I can continue to do my job… it’s not really a serious concern. It’s not like I can change something like that if it’s true."
"Well, let's hope the birthday candles are short too."
"What sorts of things have you done recently to stunt your growth?"
*… is just going to ignore the jabs at his height* “… Between the ages of sixteen and twenty one.”
"That's quite concerned for you...you might already be done growing."
"How would it feel to be the shortest person in your workplace for your entire life? Are you tall enough to blow out birthday candles?"
"….. The people I associate with are fine."
*sighs and just lets Malik use his head*
"And I’m sure this is normal. I have plenty of time to grow."
"But to jump to such a perverse conclusion from such an innocent question..."
"Tell me, little doctor, when is the normal age for growth to cease? I would guess that it's looming for you."
"Looming like a cookie jar on a shelf that's just out of reach."
"…Ahaha… Rebellious teen years…"
"And I assure you, I’m not being corrupted. I have a lot of friends and acquaintances worth of trust."
"I'm still a bit concerned about the company you're keeping...even trustworthy people can be bad influences."
"But now, about your height." *places his elbow on Jude's head casually*
"This is quite out of the ordinary for someone so close to adulthood."
"… It’s still here, Mr. Caesar…"
"But… um… I guess I’ve gotten weary with how our conversations seem to take strange turns in the last year. I’m sorry."
"As for my height… I’m afraid nothing much changed since we last met."
"I'm rather suspicious...you are getting into those rebellious teen years."
"Are you getting corrupted?"
"Though that's actually rather concerning with your height. You should be shooting up like a weed by now."
"Oh, Mr. Caesar. It’s been a whi—"
"…."
"U-Um… Just to be sure… You’re… asking me about my height, correct?”
"Jude, where have your professionalism and class gone?"
"Of course I'm asking about height, you're supposed to be another year old this month."
"I wear it down many times."
"Meanwhile, your hair’s sweeped to the side still, sir."
"I don't know, it seems like you just keep sweeping it farther and farther back..."
"My hair on the other hand falls very naturally this way."
"And yet, that would solve your balding head problem."
"Are you deflecting your own problems on to me?"
"if you notice, I don't do any combing over...but you on the other hand, with that swooshed back style..."
"So, you’re saying this happened to you before because of your old age?"
"Maybe you should consider becoming a monk, old man."
"Monks have to shave their heads."
"Never."
have you ever called the wrong name during a passionate love-making session?
"Nope and I’m quite happy to not have encountered that issue at all.”
"I hear it’s something that happens often when the person who’s being slept with isn’t the beholder of that individual’s thoughts though. So maybe you could go ask someone like… that captain guy.”
"Or, if you’re really desperate enough, that stupid delusional fish.”
"You're still a youngster, you haven't lived long enough to truly grasp the difficulty of matters like these."
"The memory doesn't stay sharp forever."
uses-both-hands
Have you ever been serenaded by ovis aries?
captainoftrolling
*what the heck Captain?* “What’s an ovis aries?"
"You truly don't know?"
"A fine and cultured entrepreneur doesn't know what an ovis aries is?"
Let's play the 'Word Association Game'! Send my muse a word, any word, and they'll respond with the first word that comes into their head.
That is hardly possible, Malik. Asbel will have the best Lhant can provide for him. She is the best.
*turns to the creeper lady* Where shall we take him?
*gets goosebumps everywhere* “….”
*mumbles something about listening to Duke Dhalen might have been a better idea after all*
*smiles to His Majesty* “I ordered that old butler to set the bedroom on the first floor up, it’ll be easier not to have to take her up a flight of stairs.”
*looks back at Asbel* “Also, a man, even if he is a duke, with facial hair like that could never be right about anything.”
"It's a truly dismal day in Lhant when this is the best a king can do."
"We better get her inside, before the cutis anserina gets worse."
Oh, you are here already. Very good. I trust the room is already prepared? *walks over*
What can I do to help?
*whispers to Malik* “H-Hey, Captain… H-How did she get here so fast…?”
“I may not be the youngest lady in Lhant, but I can assure you that my hearing and eavesdropping skill is still just fine.” *takes a step closer to the trio, running a hand down from Asbel’s hair onto captain’s arm*
“I’m only across the bridge, I couldn’t ignore all your cries for help!”
*edges away* "There's such a thing as a private conversation."
"And Your Highness...you can help by finding a different midwife."
I am hardly asking him to commit to have another child nine months from now, Malik. I am merely bringing up a possibility should it arise that we decide to have another.
Come, Asbel, let us head for your room. *ushers them inside*
“C-Could we not talk about those possibilities until we get through this one first? I-I’m kind of hurting over h-here and I-” *gets carried into the mansion*
*only to come face to face with the familiar plump figure standing at the foot of the steps leading to the second floor, smiling at the three of them* “-WAH!” *clings even tighter around Malik’s neck*
“Oh, don’t worry, sweetie! You’re in safe hands!” *grins and flexes fingers*
“I have lots of experience, you just have to relax and follow my instructions.”
"Your Highness, that's hardly convincing with how busy the two of you a-" *stops at the sight of the fingers*
*doesn't take a step closer* "That isn't very comforting..."
Asbel? *takes her hand* Are you well?
I see no reason not to consider the future, Malik. *pushes the manor door open*
“… I’m fine…” *Starting to hate this feeling though*
"That wasn't terribly convincing."
"And it's not proper to talk that far ahead when a woman is in this state, where she can't even walk on her own. Have some manners."
…
That is a truly wonderful suggestion, Malik. Asbel, if we have another child, I shall have one prepared for you. We shall not be caught unprepared again.
Now let us hasten, Malik. There must be no further cause for delay.
“W-W-Wait! WAIT! A-Are you serious about her? S-she touches thi— AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN NEXT TIM— *Gets a particularly strong spasm* —gyah!”
*walking up the stairs of the manor* "She's going to be doing quite a lot of touching."
"Though it's probably not the best time to get so far ahead of yourself, Your Majesty. It's not really fair for the young lady."
