Words that matter

[captainraleigh]

This Dumb writing blog turned 1 today! And we have 1 whole follower (love you number one)!!!!

[captainraleigh]

5 Stages

5 stages that’s what I learned 5 stages of grief mourning for what’s lost something someone important to you

the first stage is denial It’s difficult isn’t it to face the truth acknowledge that it they are gone and you’ll never get them back

somehow I can’t seem to get past it admit what I lost

They say that everyone is different takes their own time goes through grief in their own way

I envy those people who skip straight to acceptance who get through all 5 stages who don’t get stuck on denial who are strong enough to know when to let go

[captainraleigh]

the W's

                                   Why

            can’t you just leave me alone

                        it’s been so long

       with barely ten words passing between us

                              and yet

                 whenever I see your face

                        hear your voice

                        think about you

                   my heart gets all fluttery

         I feel my stomach release the butterflies

      and all I want to do is hide my blushing face

                               so that

                       you’ll never know

                      never even suspect

                 how I have felt all this time

                              Who

                 do you think you are

                 making me fall for you

                  with your stupid face

               and perfectly awful smile

      the way you act like you think that you’re

                      just so amazing

          because I can tell you right now

                          that you are.

                               How

         I’ve always been on the outside

                watching and observing

                         how everyone

                                 acts

                                looks

            when they think no one can see

                                and yet

          not even all these years of watching

                   waiting for you to mess up

                       do something wrong

                        so I have an excuse

                               to hate you

                     has made any difference

                                      jerk.

                                    When

                             will I be able to

                                   move on

                       leave this all behind me

                    forget that you ever existed

                               to torment me

                       with my lack of anything

                            resembling beauty

                                   grace

                                   or style

                               I have so little

                             and yet somehow

                                I always hoped

                   that it wouldn’t matter in the end

                          but it will always be there

                                   until I learn

                                     to let go

             of the dreams I have built around you

                                   Where

                           did this even start

                                where was I

                       when you came and stole

                                  the first love

                              I ever had to give

                       you never give me anything

                                     in return

                       aside from passing glances

                                and just existing

                                   we’ve never

                               had a conversation

                     lasting more than three minutes

                              introduced ourselves

                                    to each other

                                 you’ve always just

                                       been there

                                       like the sun

                                or the wind in the trees

                                      and for some

                                  inexplicable reason

                                I love you just as much

                                    What

                            have I ever done

                              to deserve this

                                   stagnation

                                     injustice

                                        when

                              all I've ever wanted

                                          was

                              to have somebody

                                       anybody

                                        love me

                                     for being me

                                 for the way I laugh

                                      the way I talk

                                     using my hands

                              like paintbrushes in the air

                            the way my face squishes up

                                         when I smile

                                                  why

                                           can’t anyone

                                                do that

                                                 where

                                                 do I find

                                               the person

                                                  who will

[wordsthat-speak]

Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.

 Andrew Boyd  (via wordsthat-speak)

[tristamateer]

I hope one day somebody loves you so much

that they see violets in the bags under your eyes, sunsets in the downward arch of your lips

that they recognize you as something green, something fresh and still growing even if sometimes you are growing sideways

that they do not waste their time trying to fix you.

[janetiberiuskirk]

OFFICIALLY STARTING MY STAR TREK RUN THROUGH

STARTING WITH ENTERPRISE ALL THE WAY THROUGH DS9. THIS IS HAPPENING, I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG IT’S GONNA TAKE, BUT IT’S HAPPENING. i hope i survive. 

[captainraleigh]

I'm gonna do SOME liveblogging, and i'm gonna do it on this blog because no one follows it. so yeah

[captainraleigh]

The Bear

I am

  A Bear

     not a girl

        brown eyes

          brown hair

                  broad shoulders

                    strong and thick

                         arms

                                legs

 I must be a Bear

         these arms

             too big for a girl

               too strong and hairy

                   not a girl

                         not a boy

                             what else is there?

  Bears must laugh

             they must love

                   they must love to hold another tight

                        to comfort

                               to cry with them

                                     to make everything better

    They must feel the stinging

         laughs

                words

                    looks of disgust

   Because if they do not

       then what am I?

[captainraleigh]

The worst stain

It seems to me

that love

is less like a

many splendored thing

and more like

a stain

a stubborn patch of green

on your best white shirt

because you get it

when your heart

rubs against another person’s

a little bit of them

becomes part of you

and no matter how hard you try

there they stay

where not even time

can wipe all the traces

away

[captainraleigh]

I wanna fall in love

 I wanna fall in love

   Sometimes I think that I wanna fall in love

just to know what it’s like

to understand what it’s like

to see the light in someone else

shining so bright it blinds you

to know

what everybody means

when they say that

the eyes are the windows to the soul

that being in love

is the height of the human condition

I know what it is to feel love

but that seems to be different

than being in love

as if this love is a trap

that one stumbles into

suddenly

and without a chance of escape.

[captainraleigh]

What is love?

I remember the first time I really felt it

deep inside

it was when she was born

I thought that this deep love was only

for mothers

but no

there it was

and when she held my hand

I felt like I was about to burst

even more so

when she said my name first

before anyone else’s

and I almost believed

my mom

when she told me

that the baby

thought that

the sun rose

and set

with me.

I think that love

is sometimes like happiness

where it fills that place in your heart

that special place

that makes you feel full

of light and wonder

that makes you want to sing

or cry

or both

but other times

it’s the feeling you get

when your big brother is about to be deployed

and you say goodbye

and your whole body aches

with hurt

and hidden tears

and you just want to hold on

and never

let

go

[captainraleigh]

What's a Home?

I’ve heard it said

that if you give a child

the first seven years of its life

you own it for life

that is,

if you are a place;

the countryside

a city street

or a sleepy seaside town

the sounds

smells

and feels

will always feel like home

yet it’s not that way for me

my first seven years

were split

between

houses

and states

the only constant being

family

the loud obnoxious bunch

that never let me out of sight

the shouts of brothers

arguing over who sits where

the bruises from

lightsaber duels

and sword fights

that’s what

home tastes like

to me

so maybe it isn’t just places

that get to be homes

that make children long for their warmth

long after they’re

grown.

[captainraleigh]

Supernatural Pilot

Okay, I’m going to do it: I’m watching Supernatural. Somehow I don’t think this is going to end well. Here goes nothing. Okay, one minute in aand I sense tragedy on the wind. Oh, called it. byyyyye only female character.  oh look, sammy’s all growed up and handsome and smart, oh, and he has a pretty blond girlfriend who he loves. wonder what’s going to happen to her...... FORESHADOWING. awwwwww, only together five seconds and already

fighting. Seems familiar. Oh he’s HUNTING. that changes everything. OOOOOOOO, NICE ARSENAL, i want some. aalso, vashta nerada: the best reason to be scared of the dark. no, stupid boy. DON’T STOP FOR THE CREEPY PRETTY GIRL, IT WILL ONLY END BADLY. i reeeeeally just wanna punch your stupid face right now. She’s about to devour your face, good luck with that. UH OHHHH. don’t go in the house, you twat. crud. I LOVE YOU TWO ALREADY, STOP BEING SO ADORABLE. shotgun shuts his cakehole... hehehehe. ohhh, fake ids.... nice. poor sammy looks so scandalized. BTW; I WANT A 1970 MUSTANG. i love you sam. your face, your everything. gosh. why are you so adooorable. ugh. i have a feeling thaaaat you’re not going to end up with a normal life, sammy. sorry. oh dean, stop acting like a dummy........ oh creepy girl is back. i don’t like this. you’re not going to outrun a car, you idiots, get out of the way. I DIDN’T MEAN JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE, YOU NUMBSKULLS. don’t worry sam, he’s a hardy fellow. look, not even a broken leg. what’s a woman in white...... and why does sam need to find a dress? no chickflick moments, awww. babues. uhohhh, something’s up. aawww, you’re sassy, aren’t you dean. not a good idea. ooooooooooh. oops. it’s all your fault, buddyo. you think dean can be kept prisoner by your handcuffs? HA. n00b. BAUGH. OMG, I DON’T LIKE BEING SCARED AUGH. uhhh ohhh. OH NO, SAMMY BABY. OH NO YOU DI’IIIINT JUST DRIVE YOUR BROTHER’S IMPALAA INTO A HOUSE. HA. WHY IS IT SO CREEPY, OH GOD. THEY’RE GONE. THANK GOODNESS. uhhohhh, i sense tragedy on the wind. NOOOOO, NOT SAMMY’S HAPPY ENDING. i don’t know how i feel about this.

[captainraleigh]

The Beast Below

Oh, poor little man. I must say, i like the new tardis, and doctor. she’s still wearing her pjs. The heck is that? that’s sure a lot of water. Amy, i realllllly wouldn’t do that. told you. IT’S THE STARWHALE, ISN’T IT. amy’s safe...... good. this guy is creepy. He wasn’t too happy about that, was he. i love you guys. I WAS RIGHT. well that’s no fun. SHE’S THE QUEEN! I LIKE her. IT WON’T EAT THE CHILDREN BECAUSE IT’S NOT A MONSTER, IT’S JUST HUNGRY. ohhh, my poor doctor, how it must hurt you. OH YOU BEAUTIES. i love the starwhale, and both of you. good, so good.

[captainraleigh]

The Eleventh hour

Way to start with a bang, eleven. Are you praying to..... santa? Well that was quick. You’re adorable, kid. THERE’S A SWIMMING POOL IN THE LIBRARY. LOVE IT. AWWW, HE JUST GAVE HER THE COMPANION RULES. I love you, kid, you’re cute. and eleven, I still am not quite sure about you, but I think I like you. “you’re scottish, fry something” I THINK I LIKE YOU. “beans are evil” OH YES, I LIKE YOU. he just threw out the bread and butter. FANTASTIC. fish fingers and custard, okay. IT’S AMY! awww, she’s an orphan. you like spilling things, don’t you. DON’T TAKE A SMALL CHILD THROUGH TO AN UNKNOWN PLACE! uh-ohhhhhhh. oh-no, her parents said that, didn’t they. that they’d be right back. he’s not coming right back, is he. ohhh, she’s packing, wee lamb. I think it’ll be awhile, dolly. OH GOD, THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE HOUSE. IT’S RORY! i don’t know that that’s her house anymore, mate. NO, THEY’RE CALLING FOR THE DOCTOR! she IS amelia pond, you dummy. awwww, poor rory. DON’T ENTER THE ROOM. AMY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. OH GOD, MAKE IT STOP. RUN!!!! told you it was amy. “I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everybody’s aunt!” ehehehehehe. oh, well, that’s not good. what’s too soon doctor? HE SAW RORY. ohhh, poor amelia. GOSH DARN IT. not him, the good looking one. ehehehehe. rory, you are adorable. I love you, rory. NINE, OMYHEART, NINE, I MISS YOU! THAT’S RIGHT, YOU HAD BETTER RUN FROM MY DOCTOR. you’re brilliant, eleven! SHE REMODELED! i want to see. it’ll turn up. ohh, i think i like you. i think i like the new tardis, but i don’t quite know. OH, I DO LIKE IT. I LIKE YOU BOTH. SHE’S GETTING MARRIED!

[captainraleigh]

End of time part two. (OH THE FEEELS)

Okay, so this is before the doctor killed everyone to end the time war. The timelords just aren’t dead yet. Boy, you cray-cray. Well that’s different. You’re adorably psychopathic, master. Awww, Wilf. DONNA CALLING. NO, DONNA. EAT HER AND I KILL YOU ALL. NO, DONNA, WHAT JUST HAPPENED. doctor, you’re a very eloquent man. OH YOU GUYS, STOP GIVING ME FEELS. EXPOSITION! The council is messing with his brain. YEEEAH, I LOVE YOU CACTI. ehehehehehehe, still strapped in. WORST, RESCUE, EVER. must say, i’m impressed. i really, really, REALLY love the cacti. OHHH, YOU EVIL COUNCIL. YOU MADE HIM EVIL. I HATE YOU. why’d they send a diamond? what’s a white point star? it’s the woman, isn’t it. who is she, really. Oh my heart, this is just too much. Wilfred, you are a beautiful human being, and I love you. STOP MAKING ME FEEL THINGS. Oh, I guess it’s really not good. ALLONSY! YOU GO, WILF! HE MADE THEM INTO WEEPING ANGELS?!?! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT. he can’t kill wilf, OW. i love you wilf. so much. Oh master, you adorable baby. well then, that escalated quickly. poor master, manipulated by the council. That’s why he had to kill them, my poor doctor. It’s the doctor’s mommy. Oh my poor master, I’m so sorry thank you. It wasn’t the master she was talking about, was it. It was Wilf. My poor Wilf, I’m so sorry, doctor goodbye. Oh, stop, you’re making me cry. OH, STOP. Goodbye my doctor, oh goodbye, goodbye. The Tardis saved her once again, my Donna. MARTHA AND MICKEY! Sarah Jane. He’s saying goodbye to everyone. CAPTAIN JACK AND ADIPOSE! He gave him Alonso’s name, what a gift. THE NURSE’S GRANDDAUGHTER! EEEEE. Donna finally got married, good for her. She looks so beautiful, and happy. he gave her a lotto ticket. Oh my doctor. ROSE. OH, HE WENT TO ROSE. he just had to see her one last time. The universe will sing to the doctor as he dies. OH GOD. GOODBYE MY DOCTOR, GOODBYE. BLIMEY, WAY TO START WITH A BANG ELEVEN.

[captainraleigh]

The end of time part one.

WILF REMEMBERS, OF COURSE HE DOES, HE’S A NOBLE. the ood are having the dreams too. heyyyyy master. oh, you poor baby. all alone, lucy, you poor girl. who are all the creepy ladies. this is scaring me. lakdjlkslajldkjalskd. THE ACTUAL END OF TIME. LKJS;LDKJ;LKJD. THIS ISN’T GOOD. run doctor, run like the wind. find wilf. LUCY, NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HER, STOP IT. no. who’s the angel lady? I think that she’s good. LISTEN TO HER, YOU IDIOTS. NO. MASTER, YOU AWFUL, TERRIBLE TIME LORD. YES LUCY, DO IT. what just happened. is he actually dead? please say yes. but no, I guess no. what gate......... HE’S LOOKING FOR YOU DOCTOR. OH WILF, YOU BEAUTY, YOU WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL BEAUTY. it’s the master. FUCK. are you gollum, master. YOU ARE ALSO THE CREEPIEST THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. what did you just do, YA NASTEH. he’s after you, master. he can smell you. he knocks four times. and is alSO AS CREEPY AS FCK. i feel the same, doctor. grody. i don’t think you can beat that creepy frog jump, doctor. wilf. the only person that the doctor will ever salute. oh you guys, i love you so much. IT’S BECAUSE HE’S A NOBLE. we all have to die sometime baby. i’m sorry, I really am. oh my donna, oh stop. please stop, you’re making me cry. this narrator is creeping me out, who is he? DOCTOR STOP, HE’LL EAT YOU. that’s right doctor, cool guys don’t look at explosions. rubbing your hands together is a very effective way to assassinate the doctor; look it up. that had to hurt. ok, now i sympathize with master; it’s hard being hungry all the time. okay, slightly less sympathetic. the drums. what IS inside your head, man, i really think you need professional help. i think you need a doctor. OH, YOU’RE AZULA! well that was quick. poor doctor, they just won’t leave you alone. OH MY DOCTOR DONNA, YOU’RE STILL IN THERE, I JUST KNOW IT. you guys gon’ get eaten. SHE’S THAT LADY! IT’S THE DOCTOR’S MOM! EEEEEEEP. BUT WHY WILF. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. a gun? oh wilf, you poor dear. you look so guilty. you adorable babus. is that......... a belt around his neck? she’s a disciple, isn’t she. THEY’RE CACTI! ehehehehehe. maybe it’s a shock collar. she’s evil. awww wilf, you precious baby. OH MY LORD, SHE’S A CACTUS. what’s that he just did? you should’ve known better than to let him touch your stuff. oops, so that’s what he did. DONNA’S NOT AFFECTED BECAUSE SHE’S GOT A TIMELORD BRAIN. YES, MY DONNA, YOU BEAUTY. he’s turning the entire human race into himself. great. this is slightly hilarious. NO, SHE’S REMEMBERING, NO, DONNA! ohhh, this is great.the master race. wut. i think he’s enjoying this a bit too much. i wonder if jack is a master too. wait, i thought they were all dead. guess not?

[captainraleigh]

Next Doctor liveblog

 Ok, I think I’ve got the emotions under control. I can do this. This looks like...... victorian england? OK, STARTING TO LOSE IT. HE’S SO HAPPY, AND TRYING TO FORGET DONNA AND EVERYTHING THAT JUST HAPPENED. UGH. WHAT. THERE ARE TWO OF THEM?!?! WHAT?! this is actually sort of great. i like rosita. wait, what doctor is he? what’s going on? is he really the doctor? who’s the creepy lady? I really hate cybermen something awful. ugh. this supposed doctor is rather sexist, honestly. You’re jackson lake, aren’t you “doctor”? it’s just a regular watch. HA. KNEW IT. what’s wrong with you, you’re jackson lake, aren’t you? you didn’t regenerate, you just got a bunch of info from that stamp thing. I bet your tardis is just as ordinary as your screwdriver. oh look at that, the info stamp is really a funny sort of laser weapon thing. HE BLEW UP THEIR HEADS. BOOM. they took your kid, fake doctor. you’ve only got one heart, don’t you. she’s wearing red to a funeral? she killed him so the cyberman could assimilate them? i need donna’s sass. the world is a sad, cold, dark place without it. those partial cybermen are creepy. WHY DO THEY WANT THE CHILDREN. you aren’t a timelord. KNEW IT. IT’S A HOT AIR BALLOON. AHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAA. I WAS RIGHT. YESSSSS. oh, no. he lost a baby didn’t he. now i’m sad again. gosh. caroline. oh you poor man. they took your kid too, didn’t they. yes, he needs someone at his side. AUGH, MY HEART. why do they want the children? AWW, MY BABUES. DON’T HURT THEM YOU NASTIES. OOOOOOO, YOU DON’T INSULT HIM YOU ARSCHLOCH. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYHOOOOOOOOOOOOJACKSON LAKE, YOU GO GIRL. i mean...... man. OHHHHHH, ROSITA YOU BEAUTY. you are a cruel, awful woman, mercy. and i hate you. child slave labour. HOW ORIGINAL. OHHHH BUUUUURN, YOU THE KING NOW LADY. nice demon eyes. oops, she’s rewriting the system. OPALA. delete the workforce, AND I DELETE YOU. AWWW, HE DOES HAVE A WEE MAN CHILD. awwwww, he’s so cuute. it’s a ship? ooorrr..... a giant cyberman....... interesting. awww, he’s using the fake tardis. do they ever agree to leave? no. oh, mercy. YAYA. bravo doctor. bravo. she is marvelous. jackson is me. that’s how i would react, man, i feel you. NOPENOPENOPE. i love you jackson. you’re great. NOPE. STOP. ABORT, ABORT, ABORT. THEY BREAK MY HEART TOO, YOU BIG LUG.