Captain Showerbeer

Nothing like a nice cold beer in a nice hot shower

[pill-barista-deactivated2023050]

I have seen the future and it is bright.

[gmbeowulf]

Paging Captain Showerbeer!

[captainshowerbeer]

Suspending anything, especially glass, with suction cups is VERY risky in a shower drinking situation. My advice would be to replace the suction cups with some kind of waterproof Command adhesive, and also to mount this as far away from the spray and as high above shoulder level as possible to avoid contamination.

Best bet is still a windowsill or out of the shower shelving situation. :D

[captainshowerbeer]

Smuttynose Old Brown Dog Ale

The Old Brown Dog is billed as a brown ale, but it's really more like an amber.  NOT A COMPLAINT.  It's lighter and simpler than it smells like it would be, with all the rich caramelly malt and bread aromas going on, but it's still got a lot of nice flavor without getting heavy, though the high ABV means one will do the job.  It's got almost a raisin bread thing happening on the finish, which makes me think of dessert.  No, okay, honestly it makes me think of breakfast.  Consider an Old Brown Dog as a nice shower companion for a weekend morning.  It's a wet dog you'll enjoy.

ABV - 6.7%

[captainshowerbeer]

Brooklyn Lager

Keeping the pre-Prohibition style brews coming, Brooklyn Lager is a heartier alternative to the Session Red, with that same slightly sweet malty finish that is so nice after a long day.  Brooklyn Brewery is basically in my backyard, and I've had a lot of their beers, but for sheer shower-drinkability, their lager is the best of the bunch.  Y'know, if you're into that sort of thing.

ABV - 5.2%

[ladybathgin]

Lady Bathgin? The deuce?

The deuce you say.

A while ago a good friend of mine on a wing of whim and fancy started a tumblr called Captain Showerbeer; a users’ guide to beers that can be (or worst, won’t be) enjoyed in the shower.

While I enjoy beer and showering, after a long day or...

[captainshowerbeer]

I'm Captain Showerbeer, and I approved this message.

[ilovecharts]

James Squire’s Guide to Beer.

[captainshowerbeer]

Full Sail Session Lager

Ah, when to the Sessions of sweet silent showers/I summon up rememberance of beers past... While I greatly prefer Session Black, I have been known to drink it interchangeably with the standard model, for the sake of making some bad Les Mis puns.  And musical theatre punnery aside, the premium lager is a perfect companion for the shower.  Its classic pre-Prohibition style maltiness keeps it smooth and drinkable, and while the bottle can be a little difficult to hold due to it's stubbiness, it makes up for that in shelf-stability.  Fun fact: Session bottles make excellent bud vases, in case you're planning a wedding for drunkards.  Or hipsters.  Hey, it can't be all mason jars all the time, am I right?

ABV - 5.1%

[captainshowerbeer]

Sam Adams White Lantern

I know an ale that's

Named like ghosts,

Spicy pepper and

Citrus notes,

But it don't taste hoppy;

It don't taste wheat;

It don't taste malty or

Any of these

It tastes like ta~~~ngerines

Ta~~~ngerines

But seriously, this is a beer for people who hate beer.  Damn thing tastes like a fruit roll-up, which is FINE if you're looking for a refreshing shower beverage, but less cool if you specifically wanted a beer.  Which I kinda did.

ABV - 5.5%

[captainshowerbeer]

Frequently Asked Questions!

1. What is a showerbeer?

It is a beer you drink in the shower. I understand this is a revolutionary concept, so I'll give you a moment to let that sink in.

...

Okay?  Moving on.

2. But, where do you put it? You can't hold it the whole time!

No, indeed! In fact, holding it is a terrible idea, as condensation and soap will make your hands slippery, and no one wants broken glass or spilled beer in the tub.  The best bet is a permanent fixture with a wide flat surface, such as my lovely pink window shelf, or the top of a toilet tank.  If there are no such suitable surfaces, I recommend acquiring one of those corner shower caddies with an extendable pole between the ceiling and the tub/floor.  Put it in a corner as far away from the spray as possible.  Pick one of the racks that is between waist and eye level, and lay a flat piece of plastic over the wire.  I suggest an empty cd case.  You can duct tape this to the rack if you want extra security and don't mind all your houseguests asking you questions and possibly judging you.

Do NOT put a showerbeer in or on any caddy that attaches to the wall solely by means of suction cups!  Even if the showerbeer is in a can, it will still fall and spill and you will be terribly bummed and the whole night will be ruined.  Secure surfaces ensure serene showerbeers!

3. How many beers should one drink in the shower?

That depends on the person, the beer, and the occasion.  I recommend that everyone start with just one.  After all, the goal is not to get hammered in the bathroom, but to enjoy a refreshing beverage while you unwind at the end of the day.  Or the middle of the day.  Or beginning, whatever, the point is, one is good for starters.  If this isn't your first rodeo, and you feel like you might want to be in the shower long enough to have a second, then go ahead.  But I will say that it is difficult to keep more than two beers cold enough to make them truly enjoyable.  Unless you have some sort of cooler situation in your bathroom, in which case I salute you.

4. But doesn't the smell of your shampoo/soap interfere with the beer?

Some do, certainly. Nearly everything in my shower is hypoallergenic and unscented, so it isn't a problem I encounter very often.  However!  There are certain scented products that I use and love which actually pair very well with certain beers!  As I continue this blog, I hope to introduce people to these product/beer pairs, and discover some new ones of my own.

5. I don't like beer. Are there any other alcoholic beverages I can drink in a shower?

Are there ever!  Basically, if you can drink it, you can shower-drink it.  But be careful if you choose to drink hard liquor in the shower!  The potential for dizziness and dehydration is a lot higher than with a beer, so it's important you know your own limits and DON'T OVERDO IT.  Captain Showerbeer insists that you shower-drink responsibly.

Other than that, the biggest obstacle to consuming non-bottled/canned beverages in the shower are contamination and spillage.  The last thing you want is for a big dollop of shampoo to land in your G&T, or for your martini glass to take a top-heavy tumble into the tub.  Your best bet is to forgo proper glassware.  For drinks that require ice (G&T, rum & coke, tequila sunrise, et al.), I recommend either a nalgene/other plastic bottle, or a travel coffee mug.  For drinks that do not (straight liquors, martinis, and suchlike), I use my trusty Coleman camping flask.  Wine can go in either, but don't put ice in it.  Please.  Okay, a couple cubes in a pinot grigio isn't the end of the world.  But that's IT!  These containers are difficult to spill and non-breakable, as well as lidded to prevent any stray soap from getting in.

If you're asking for specific shower-friendly cocktails, well you can hardly go wrong with a good G&T or vodka cranberry.  Throw a splash of soda in there, and it's like it was made for showering.  I'll be posting other recommendations and reviews as we go along. :D

6. You sure do drink a lot.

That's not actually a question, Judge Reinhold.

7. Do you take requests?

Absolutely!  just drop me a line, and if I can find it, I'll drink it. :D

If there's anything else you wanna know, just ask!  Happy showering!

[captainshowerbeer]

Grolsch Premium Lager

Grolsch will always have a soft spot in my heart, as it was one of my very first showerbeers.  And indeed, the crisp, dry finish makes it a good choice for a really hot shower.  The initial skunky aroma might put some people off, so newbies don't tend to like it.  Pointing out that the aftertaste is strongly reminiscent of oyster crackers may or may not help.*  But for those of us who have been around the beer block, Grolsch is a great basic pale lager.

ABV - 5%

*For the record, I love oyster crackers.

[captainshowerbeer]

Otter Creek Black IPA

Ooh, this is a sexy beer!  The first whiff is a little hoppy, a little dark and chocolatey, and perfectly indicative of the treat that awaits you.  It's easy for beers like this to feel too heavy for the shower, and I'm not gonna lie, I almost didn't even bother.  But curiosity prevailed, and I have to say, it turned out really well.  It's really rich, but it finishes clean, and the earthy coffee finish is perfect with a little bit of steam.  You hardly even notice the high ABV until you get out of the shower, the flavor is so good.  But do be careful, it could sneak up on you.

ABV - 6.0%

[captainshowerbeer]

Magic Hat Pistil

Now THIS is a Spring beer!  A little bit hoppy, a little bit sour (in a good way), and absolutely redolent of fresh cut flowers.  You can really taste the dandelion.  It isn't going to be to all tastes, but for my part I found it very refreshing and surprisingly easy to drink.  The ABV is nice and low, so take your time under that steam!  Maybe use that deep conditioner you always mean to but never do because it has to sit for like, five minutes and ain't nobody got time for that.  You've got a lovely ale to keep you company, so treat yo self!

ABV - 4.5%

[captainshowerbeer]

Blue Moon Agave Nectar Ale

A blonde ale with a slight hoppiness to it, and a sweet finish thanks to the agave nectar.  While not as distinctive as the Valencia Grove Amber, it is nonetheless playful on the palate, and crisp and refreshing enough to withstand the hottest showers.

ABV - 5.6%

[captainshowerbeer]

Blue Moon Valencia Grove Amber

Not a Spring beer, not a Winter beer, but something in-between; a mid-bodied amber ale with nice caramelly malt and a surprising zing of orange.  Goes down smooth, and pairs well with a well-deserved shower at the end of a long day.  Watch that you don't stay in too long! The relatively high ABV could make you a little dizzy.

ABV - 5.9%