Captivity Activity

The cheese on the mouse trap

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Wearing this Kat Von D lipstick has me out here feeling fancy AF!!!!! 💄

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You know what’s right with America in 2017?!?? KASHI CHOCOLATE CHIP CHIA BARS!!!!!!!!! These s**** are delicious!!!!!!

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When he asks you to hang out over the weekend and you say “it’s not a good weekend”. But then you remember you aren’t in love with him any more so no weekend will ever be a good weekend to hang out ever again.

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It's Friday bitches!

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When I'm a pedestrian if a car gets within 15 feet of me I get all pissy and indignant about "the safety of my person!!!!" And glare at the driver like a madwoman . I only really walk to and from my car in parking lots.... to work,stores,my house- but why is that always the most harrowing minute of my day almost every day?!?! Wtf is wrong with people?!?!

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Going to one of those little Walmart stores to get some of that obscenely sweet Pure Leaf iced tea. When I get home I'm going to add like 4 tablespoons of it to my firefly iced tea vodka. Then put on yoga pants, watch Steven Universe to see what the fuss is all about, text responsibly(read:not at all) and then hopefully fall asleep

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Any kind of official signage explicitly stating not to feed the animals somewhere makes me desperately want to feed the animals everywhere. My mind goes into PETA mode and I’m all “ GIVE THE ANIMALS THEIR SNACKS!!!!!!”

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People have been talking crazy to me for days now. On any other Thursday (having been thoroughly tried for 4 days) I would be a flustered, incredulous,furrowed-brow, stressed out train wreck. But this week has been completely different. I just don’t care. It’s like I completely see the b.s. from all angles but my “losing my s***” switch has been securely taped in the “off” position.