Capture the Siren: a lyrical life

Living through Music. Music - Art - Love - Life - Adventure "You know what's great about her? She FEELS the music, she closes her eyes and feels every word, every beat." The more personal page of Clamor & Clang. Take a musical adventure with me, as I play you my internal soundtrack. Everyone has one, this is mine - expect classical, dance, funk, hip hop, rock, heavy metal, alternative, soul, and everything in between. I learned long ago, there is no good short description of me, but through the universal language that is music, maybe you can get to know me a little.

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So it’s been a minute. I feel there’s no time like the present to write again, and not just about the current pandemic, but about the power of music  in our lives - that universal language that draws us all together, in harmony.  

We are in a crisis, currently called #COVID-19.  We are quarantined, we are fighting against hunger, social distancing, poverty, and world financial and health crises. Is this the world we created?  Is this of our own undoing through the doing we’ve done?  

Maybe. One thing my mother always taught me, was that we all must take responsibility for ourselves and our own actions, whatever they may be. So I ask, in this time - have I been a part of the problem or the solution?  While quarantining is hard for humans, because we are social beings, there are so many that cannot seem to stay away from being selfish in this time.  My doctor friends BEG for us all to stay at home - a simple 3 weeks (21 DAYS) would make this all level out - yet - some cannot, making the spread inevitable and therefore the death toll higher.  I, myself, am at home with my husband, a chef out of work, and my almost 2 year old daughter - and as much as it sucks to not see my friends or family - we stay sheltered and without contact.  I find myself asking, “if every person I touch means another dead, would I want to do that, risk it?”  The answer is unequivocally, NO! So you want to know what to do?  Well, if you’re following this page, I imagine you enjoy music.  I say, go back! Go back in your playlists, in your mind, your videos,, however far you need and relive, remember the times where music took you through all the hard times, the happy, the sad, the angry and unreasonable times.  Remember the music.  It takes you away, it lifts you up and it pulls you back into your self.  Go back to the videos you have on your phone or computer, and if you’re older, go back in your mind or revisit photo albums and mix tapes.  Feel the voices and sounds crowd around you and hug your soul, and never forget that as long as you can hear and feel the music in your soul - you are never alone, you are one with everyone and every note, vibration and in harmony with the universe around you. We CAN be the Champions of this crisis together, as #ONE.  The reason for choosing the Live Aid version of this song is because Freddie Mercury did this concert sick with AIDS and having not sung live in several years, and he died not too long after - however, he championed his ego and his illness to do something to better the world, greater than himself alone.  Let’s do this together.  Let’s be greater than our selves, let’s champion COVID-19 as #ONE and #TOGETHER by being apart and sharing communal unity in this fight against death.

[capture-the-siren]

It’s rare that I write directly about a person or entity in my life, but today we are going to do a little of both... ok, maybe a lot.

(If you’re new to the blog, this is where you press play as you start to read ;) )

The Lyrics

Oh this road has been hard On my feet On my heart

Led me to the gates of hell I know sorrow all to well

....

After all I've been through I can't say what is true But I choose to believe There's a hand guiding me There is hope There's a home for my soul

It is rare, as I said before, to wax poetic on specific people in my life or my faith, as I usually save those moments for direct and intimate conversations with loved ones and God.  However, when a single person has such an impact on your life that completely alters the outcome of who you are/ would have been - it deserves a little noting.

To Nicole, my dearest, and absolutely one of the best, if not most deserving of the title ‘THE BEST’ of my friends...

Nicole and I met on the playground in Avondale park when I was 8 and she was 7.  Naturally, two twinkling and feisty souls as ours were, we got along very well on the playground.  Although I was older, there was something about her that always made me feel in awe of her, as if she were the older one - she was always a natural leader and not one to be messed with, even as a tyke. It took a while for our parents to meet and start allowing regular playdates, but eventually Nic and I were in full swing at the Park, the Pool, the Lake, and even at school - now that I had transferred to the public school in our neighborhood. We went to class together, swam on the swim team together, played together, and stood by each others sides together, I’m pretty sure we even shared one of those silly half heart BFF necklaces together - as was all the rage on the elementary school kickball field - to show everyone WHO exactly was at the top of your list that week, month, or year.

Seasons passed and winter came and took away all the green and lush landscapes with its icy steel paint brush, but as the spring promised new flowers for most, my world remained cool and dark.  Despite all my efforts to hide behind a glass of perfection and meticulous control, Nicole noticed that something was not right.  I never spoke words, I never shed a tear, I never allowed one crack to show - but she knew me.  One fateful walk home from school, she asked me the question that made me stop in my tracks and become truly speechless (which if you knew me then, wasn’t that surprising, but if you know me now - - well, it takes a lot).  I answered her question with my eyes, and again without saying a word, Nicole began to save my life.  At that moment, I was terrified, but somehow knew in my heart that with her, I would be safe, I would learn how to get through the things neither of us could understand at the time, but we would figure it out together.

I had a feeling when I was a child, as children see the truths in nature, that God put Nicole and I together for a reason; there was always a light that drew us together, despite being so opposite in so many ways.  And I am SURE now, 27 years later, that God never stopped working to keep us in each others lives, through ups and downs, and back together so that we can continue to walk together down His path for whatever His plans are for us.  And I thank God everyday for her.  For the kindest, most genuine hearted, funniest, strongest, most beautiful and wisest souls I have ever had the pleasure of calling “Friend”; Nicole Marie, 

I do not need a necklace to show me, or a week or a month or a year to know that I am truly blessed with your friendship.  You have a heart and a soul that cannot be measured by any mile or metric in our universe, but only by the heavens.  Your wit and laughter light up a room, your love lights the world over 10,000 times and your wisdom and tenacity would give Socrates and Marcus Aurelius pause.  You have a courageousness about you that never ceases to amaze me, your sense of self and self respect are unparalleled.  I owe so many thanks to you and your friendship and I owe a part of my soul and my character to you.  Having you in my life has made me into the person I am today and I’m pretty sure there may have been a different ‘me’ at the end of this journey, had I not met you.  Thank you, thank you for your wisdom, for always knowing me, thank you for showing me strength, respect, love and true friendship.  You are my bell, my bestie, and my Sunflower. 

God gave me a home for my soul, and through You, he gave me Hope.

I Love you, Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.  And I wish you the Happiest of Birthdays and can’t wait to get old together... wait, I can press pause on the old part... but either way, we said it 27 years ago and I can only pray it will come true... I want to get old and still be playing stupid games when we are in walkers and wheel chairs with you, babe!

Happy Birthday Miss Nicole Marie!!! (and belated happy anniversary to you and Brian too)

Love you more than words!

XXX

[capture-the-siren]

Let’s talk about this song...  This song holds a very deep and particular meaning to me and was one I played over and over and over again in my mid-twenties as I went through something... let’s call it an unearthing of sorts.  It put very eloquently into words something that I felt very strongly about. I once shared my feelings and connection to this song to another that I cared very deeply for, and after a very long road, today I feel this song has had its own rebirth.  A renewal of its own right of passage.  The great thing about music is that it can touch your soul on so many levels and speak to you over and over again, and hold various meanings over the years.  Music transcends, sometimes it’s the lyrics, sometimes, the rhythm, sometimes, the melody or beat... but music is the most beautiful thing in the world.  It speaks to you, it renews and affirms your soul.  I thank God everyday for such a beautiful medium in this world.

Don't you give it up for me Don't you open up your soul And drown in your misery We all know you don't want help You want company Don't you give it up for me

Just how long can you bleed? Just how long do you need? Just how long can you bleed?

Don't you give it up for me Bandage up your palms again No one can see the blood but you Won't you get up off your knees? It's time to run Don't you give it up for me

CHORUS You can't say Cuz you're so afraid That all that you have Is all you deserve You're so afraid All that you have Is all that you deserve

Maybe it is... Baby it is

The Universe has a great way of coming full circle. Always Believe, never forget.

[clamor-and-clang]

Arctic Monkeys - Do I wanna Know.

Sultry, dark, with that tinge of love torn grit.  I love that a male vocal brings a sense of raw mettle to that feeling we’ve all had (on one side of this scenario or the other).  We are so used to hearing a female vocalist lament about love lost, or waiting on love, or whatever love lost/love sick story is being spun at the time.  You cannot lie, female or male - you have totally turned up and tuned into the tunes I’m referring to - “Nothing Compares to You”, “Every Rose has its thorn”, and whatever Fiona Apple song you can name.

But this Arctic Monkeys clangy, bang the drum, and stomp your foot on the floor sound with that ‘come hither’ vocal from Alex Turner, almost makes you completely forget how slightly depressing and desperate the lyrics are. 

This one’s just because, damn I like the grittiness and tenacity of all the pieces and parts put together.  And I mean, sure - who doesn’t relate. I’m definitely Pressing repeat.

[capture-the-siren]

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Not much more news to be said.  We begin life with a clean slate, our bodies defining the notion of "clear" and "nothingness"; we build, we add, we learn, we draw on the experiences we run into, run away from, and the ones that hit us like a 10-ton truck.  From day 1, we begin the cycle of creative destruction.  We build ourselves up, tear pieces of ourselves down to then reveal yet another new layer, sometimes softer, sometimes harder, tougher, more rugged than before.  With each peeling of the layer before, we reveal a clean surface, a new surface, another piece to the puzzle to build upon.  

We should never forget, or allow life to get away from us to the point that we forget that there is always tomorrow, there is always another layer, another level, a higher point to reach.  Just like the ocean, her tides are always there, they will come in and go out, they will shift to the left and the right - but there, they will ever be.  The water will cleanse the shore, the salt will feed the air - no matter what, in life, you will always build up, tear down, cleanse, and start over - over and over and over again.  Never hear "you can't"; you are your only limitation in this life; feed your soul with "you can", then. . . You WILL.

Make every beginning better than the last and make your endings worth every minute of it.

Happy Friday!

[everythingsparklywhite]

Flora Bridal

[capture-the-siren]

Beautiful neckline.  Simple and elegant.  Even as a simple summer dress.

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Rain

There's nothing more soothing than waking up to the sound of rain on your window panes and those pitter-patter drops on the pavement. Good Morning World.

[capture-the-siren]

Forgiveness...

Forgiveness is Divine.

Forgiveness is NOT about the person who did you wrong, forgiveness, is about YOU.  It is truly impossible to move forward, to better yourself, and move on in life, if you do not forgive.  If you do not forgive the wrongs, the insecurities, and the pains in other people - it will eat you up, it will become cancerous and consume you.  You will also never be able to forgive yourself, if you cannot find it within yourself to forgive others.

Forgiveness is not easy all the time, sometimes, much like unconditional love, it seems to be the hardest road to walk down.  

I choose and I chose forgiveness. I chose love.  I feel if we are attaining to be truly loved, we too, MUST Love.  In Love, is Forgiveness.  That is why the mother forgives her son for his failures, his missteps; why the daughter forgives her father for his absence and his failures; why the wife forgives her husband and he forgives her - it is all rooted in love.

I choose Love. That's the Why in my life. And sometimes Forgiveness is the How.  I choose to move on and to always be better and always be brighter and always allow my light and my love to shine outward.  This is MY choice and I hope I am ever strong enough to continue to ALWAYS choose this path.

Cherish those who Love and whom you Love and Thank God for the grace to Forgive and Choose.

I Really felt it was a toss up between this song and then Madonna's "Oh Father", so if you'd like to hear that one too, they are both pertinent to the subject.

[capture-the-siren]

“Caught in the riptide,

I was searching’ for the truth…

There’s a reason I collided into you…”

Amazing lyrics.  These that surely follow an amazing feeling, an actuality, a realism that cannot be bound by simply words or actions, but must be given a heart beat, a rhythm, so that it remains endless in time.

Let’s talk about Love.  How, many ask, how is it we can say ‘I Love you’, without using the word “Love”.  How can all the feeling that is wrapped up in that little word be conveyed, using other words?  How do we tell someone we love them, without telling them that we love them?  How is Love, simply a 4-letter word?  How is that even fair?

I’m going to trump all that by saying, I don’t even think it’s right or fair that some arrogant bastard even attempted to put a word (at all) to that 'drop-you-to-your-knees-and-make-you-pray-to-a-God-you-never-even-knew-existed’ feeling that is, just is, in so many ways like the color black or the color white.  I’m not sure it can be described properly.  It is God.  It is Tao.  It is both the sum of everything and the absence of everything; it is both black and white, light and dark, heaven and hell.  It is being without being and doing without doing.  How, how can all this, the real stuff, the stuff that’s up-to-snuff, be described in one 4-letter word?

When I think of this, when I dream of this or imagine the personification of this feeling in my mind, I think it sounds something like this… 

“There, in that place, there is perfect silence, as if the world and time has stopped.  This is bliss, here in this place, where our souls and bodies meet and intertwine, for the next pieces of the hour or a moment, that could seemingly dance on the tip of eternity.”

This place, these 4 letters, it is all beautiful… just like this song. 

[capture-the-siren]

This.  I know I've recently posted it. But I'm doing it again, because this is how I feel today.  

"Waiting on the edge of forever...Got me hanging by a string, it's not a temporary thing...Stranded on the edge of heaven."

and taken out of context, this one could go both ways...

"Imprisoned by the circumstance, praying for another chance."

[everythingsparklywhite]

Aria

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LOVE - this is so adorable!

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One of the greatest love stories of all time... I will try to put with one of my favorite songs of all time... Acoustic version...damnit, I can't do it over the phone... But Robert Stanton's Greensleeves is the one I was going for!

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Chronicles of 'Chloe-in-the-Raw'...

(Kind of like sugar in the raw, but substitute the sugar with a little more spice.)  Every once in a while it's necessary to call out things in the world or the parts and pieces that define you.  Normally, I would go by the old adage of "Rich people don't have to tell you they're rich... Nice people don't have to say how nice they are..." And so on.  However, for some crazy reason, this past year - I have met more people in this world that would like to put their own definitions to my person.  Some, I can vibe with completely, after all - I started this blog with the goal to express my very colorful personality through music - however, some are so off, I feel compelled to clarify.  Mainly b/c I think Music and Math are the only two universal languages... Well, and Love - Love is universal - but so many people don't speak Love -it's nuts!

So anyway - I am starting "Chronicles of Chloe in the Raw" as a way for followers to know a little more about what makes me, well, me.  I can guarantee the thoughts will be disjointed, seemingly random, but they will be completely unforgivingly honestly my own.  This could be a follow up to my "Me Like, Me No Like." blog.  So, as with one of my favorite Podcasts', "Deep thoughts with Ginny & RachFace", this will include my thoughts on certain topics, things, maybe a little of my writings, or just general opinions.

So for today. . .

1)  I LOVE, let me say it again, LOVE THIS song.  Take me to Church, by Hozier, for some reason - just takes me there.  On so many levels, this song cuts to my center - lyrically, rhythm-wise, the rock overtone, with the fantastic vocals, mixed with a sense of stripped down melody.  Something about it reminds me of some of the Best of The The with a tinge of Freddie Mercury. There are just no words... Only feeling.

2) Coffee: My sweet love that tickles my nose and tantalizes my cold lips each morning with your silky warm touch and rich aroma!  Your darkness colliding with my lips, rushing across my tongue, and slipping, slinking down my throat, invigorating my should with your livelihood - - Oh, how I LOVE THEE! ~ CJK

3) Please never mistake my kindness and good grace for weakness.  Probably one of my biggest pet peeves.  On that same note, I kind of detest it when people mistake my choice to spend time with them and shower them with affections and sweetness for me needing to do so.  My kindness is genuine because I CHOOSE to be so, because my heart beats best when it beats for others.  I LIKE to be kind, I like to give, I like to make others feel good and smile.  However, make no mistake - I can be the coldest, most rigid person you've ever met. I just feel it takes way more energy to be cold than it does to be genuine and warm.

4)  This one is for my girls. . . GUYS: If your girl or the girl you're interested in has said something, done something, or in general has put you off in some way, shape or form... PLEASE, by ALL means, MAN UP and learn how to COMMUNICATE in a manner that includes using your words and hopefully mature ones. So often (and I'm not saying women are innocent, but we'll get to that later), especially in dating situations, a girl says or does something or doesn't at all and men just go radio silent.  A small piece of advice, guys, WE ARE NOT MIND READERS.  Some of you are really good at your poker face.  Whether we know you like us or we are in a relationship or not, if you go all radio silent or start acting in a manner that seems out of character, all we women do is pick up on that ONE social queue and then start trying to analyze what we could have done to create such a reaction.  Now, in my best form of advice would go something like - "It's probably work related or has nothing to do with you." HOWEVER, if the man does NOT communicate said reasoning behind said change in character or communication style, then we women tend to not be able to ignore it.  Mainly b/c we are inherently sympathetic to the human condition - You're welcome, you should be glad you didn't get this plight. 

5) CURIOSITY IS GREAT! I Love brainy quotes. I love reading prolific things.  I love hearing the other side and seeing through someone else's eyes.  I believe that we should all take the time to step outside of ourselves and see the world from as many angles as possible.  We should try to view political and social issues from different views so we can truly make our own.  Go Read, Go Experience, Go ASK.  Always question things.  Why we lose that insatiable curiosity that we all had as children, as we get older, is beyond me.  Yes, we learn plenty as we grow - but I say, YOU NEVER STOP LEARNING.  There is FAR too much in this world to learn and to experience and know, to ever stop or ever think you've gotten enough.  If you think you have seen enough, or know enough, then by all means, start questioning YOUR self.

6) I TRY TRY TRY to Follow The Tao, I think it is the most perfect of philosophies and ways of life.  I think if you don't know what you believe in, The Tao is where you should start and end.  I also believe in God.  I believe in and am a lover of Science and all methodical analysis.  I believe that God & Science are NOT mutually exclusive; quite the opposite.  Now, let's get into a discussion about it. :) 

7) Little known fact: I will gladly (most of the time) discuss politics and religion.  The reason I stray away from these conversations - especially Religion - is b/c most people don't ever have a good argument or like to debate only using half truths... This makes my condescending side come out, and nobody likes condescending Chloe.  I have a Faith and belief system that cannot ever be shaken - so I do not argue from a point of "my faith is better than yours or my God is better than your God".  I will play devil's advocate (<---see what I did there), and work through a discussion from all angles and they will be educated - so I'm just sayin' - - Religion is one of my favorite things to talk about or philosophy - so PLEASE, I've been dying for stimulating conversation... All I ask, is that you bring your A-game.  Let Us Talk about GREAT IDEAS.

8) Fuck Passive Agressive.  I hold Honesty above almost any other trait. If I've offended you, if I've said or done or not done something that makes you feel in a negative way - PLEASE just be an adult and say something or ask me about it.  Also, if I've done something that makes you happy - for fuck's sake, say so.  It's exhausting trying to be a mind reader all the damn time.  I have a 9-5, I also like to sleep and cook and eat and take showers - I don't have time for the games, plus they aren't even fun games. :D

9) I read a book by its cover.  <--- take that how you will, I do it with real books and with humans.  When it comes to books, if I like the cover, I pick it up, open to the back page and read the last two sentences on the last page.  Then I flip to the front, I read the 3rd sentence of the first page of the first chapter.  Then I flip dead center and pick a sentence at random, somewhere in the middle of the page.  If all these pieces paint an intriguing tale or demonstrate good writing, then I will buy the book and read it.  My Human analysis is a little different - but generally, I'm not wrong.  However, human error is a real thing, the struggle is real - believe.

10) Raspberries with milk poured over them is one of my favorite things in life. Flavor combination of tart and creamy and ripe pink and white - just makes me smile from the inside out.

I hope you've enjoyed one of the most random posts yet.  Also, 40 Day Dream and Home by Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeroes - are both songs that make me stupid silly happy. 

The End. :)

[capture-the-siren]

Throwing back on a Thursday... Revisiting some of THE RULES.  

It's coming close to the year end and reviewing and revisiting some old things.  I have this running list of rules, I, as a rule, have lots of rules.  Not sure anyone would really guess me for such a rule maker or follower - but I'm a Rule making Ninja! So, here are a few that are ongoing and never ending...

1) Never stop dancing, never stop singing, never stop looking through those rose coloured glassed, never stop loving and embracing all the beauty in the imperfections!  2) Measure your success by the degree that you're enjoying peace, health, and love....lots of love.  3) Make yourself happy and peaceful, then share it with others....afterall, what is love, life, and success if you never have anyone to share it with?  4) The ONLY gift is a portion of thyself. Learn it, memorize it, embrace it, share it.  5) When all is lost, there is HOPE. Remember, it's the only thing that meddlesome bitch (Pandora) left in the box, and unless you opened it up and let it out...well, it's always there - just like free will.  6) Don't be a F***ing Martyr! Leave that for the Saints, at least they get canonized for it.  7) Shake what your momma gave ya.  8) As for fashion: Just because the shoe fits, does NOT mean you should go out in it, you may regret it later.  9) Live life with little regret, you'll never know if you don't try and in the end you'll end up in the same place - so why miss the chance and why look back?  10) Always move foward.  11) Ladies & Gentlemen:  Please be givers too, don't just take. 12) Your body is your temple, it's sacred and the only one you've got in this life - so dont abuse it too much and don't break it.  13) If you forget where you came from, go back.  14) Nothing is worthless, as long as you learn from it - even if it's a lack luster lesson.  15) Grow your own ingredients, make your own recipe, prep it, bake it/ cook it, share it, eat it, enjoy it - you made it.  16) Let go of the worldly posession and you will have everything you need.  17) It's never too late.  18) age gracefully.  19) One day, when it's storming and pouring rain, put on your best dress and go outside and get soaked...at least once in your life.  20) Love it or Leave it.  21) Forgive.  Forgiveness, true forgiveness will set you free and in time, if you've truly forgiven, you will also forget the pains. 22) Find your Chi...try not to lose it or throw it away.  23) Focus your energy and it will be more powerful and effective.  24) Don't be a rock in the stream...the water will always move around you and eventually ware you down.  25) Kill it with Kindness, whatever it is...remember why Kobe Beef is the Best, if you don't know why, look it up, then go eat some. 

26) Never Ever Stop Learning.

I hope you all enjoyed this miniature interlude and trip through Chloe's head....now I shall return to whatever it was I was doing before.....Damn! If I could only remember what that was! 

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Insomnia

Ugh. Can't sleep. Unfortunately, there is no internal soundtrack for this--- nothing but silence. Meh.

[everythingsparklywhite]

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purdy

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SURFING @ 1000 FRAMES PER SECOND

All images where shot using The Phantom Flex, Phantom Miro M-320S and the new Phantom 4K Flex with Arri Ultra prime lenses and Chris Bryan Films custom underwater…

Have I mentioned my LOVE of surfing, my adoration of the ocean??? Oh yeah.... I did, rambled on quite a bit about it in the beginning. This is absolutely beautiful.

Where the Heavens meet the Land = The Ocean.