Oh

~TRIGGER WARNING~ I do NOT promote any form of self harm. This is my venting space with (relative) anonymity. Depression/anxiety/self destructive tendencies. 23. SoCal. I'm Evan. And if you know me in the real world and you're seeing this, I'm sorry you're here.

[sscreamss]

just because you don’t look like somebody who you think is attractive doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive. flowers are pretty but so are christmas lights and they look nothing alike

[ohddaniellee-blog]

Reblog this if you are literally suprised when people find you attractive.

[depressedanxietydeath]

No one would care if I disappeared.

[smores-crepes]

do you ever think like. yeah. I’m doing good. and then you’re like. oh. oh I’m crying

[inkskinned]

on a scale of one to ten how sad are you.

you almost say seven but the answer floats in your lungs like rising mud. you shift your shoulders. some part of you is already forming an excuse. that it’s not that bad sometimes. one, two, three on a day that the clouds are out. you’re just complaining about stuff. yesterday you laughed past a brick of a four, does that make the brick come down to a two-point-five.  the solid seven panic attack of last tuesday feels somehow like a little thorn, just a regular day full of a gentle three-point-nine earthquake rocking after yesterday’s close-to-an-eight. see but if tomorrow you have a real bad day, it will make today look simple.

and what if. what if tomorrow it’s a big old red eight-point-nine. like one of those days where sirens are going off in every part of you but you’re stuck behind a glass window watching it all burn down. like one of those days that your skin against the air feels foreign. like too much of everything. like sitting-in-the-shower, like can’t-eat, like the tide isn’t just coming in, it came while you were sleeping and now you’ve gotta learn how to swim. like bounce me against a bullet hole kind of day.

you keep numbers like nine and ten way out of reach. those are for the people who really are suffering. you’ve got no excuse. nine and ten are funeral numbers, for real problems, not yours, no. and sometimes you’re fine. and you’re kind of used to it. and it’s not sad, it’s just numb like a television caught on static. numb like i can’t remember if i care about this. numb like nothing works but i can’t be bothered to fix it. that’s not sad that’s every day stuff. everybody feels like this, right? feels like they’ve been shut off. right.  

maybe five. right in the middle. like not gonna shoot myself but i’m not wasting your time. a nonanswer. like could be worse could be better. like i need help but i don’t want you to worry even though i need someone to worry about me because i can’t worry about myself. maybe five. but what if five is too small. what if five is too big. what if -

“on a scale of one to ten,” he repeats into your silence, and then pauses. “and please be honest about this.”

[surrealist-lyricist]

Breathe - Basement

[haleyincarnate]

[macmacal-deactivated20171203]

[wnq-writers]

“When you ache, I come running. When I ache, you leave me that way.”

— N.M.Sanchez

[xxlonelyghostxx-deactivated2022]

[tackled]

[lyrics-and-music]

Better // With Confidence

[is-this-lit-deactivated20190816]

“Try to love yourself as much as you want someone else to.”

—

[psycho-wonderland]

i will literally adore you if you send me one

[one-shot-killx]

1. Last kiss

2. Last phone call

3. Last text message

4. Last song you listened to

5. Last time you cried

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice

7. Been cheated on

8. Self harmed

9. Lost someone special

10. Been depressed

11. Been drunk and threw up

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:

12. had sex

13. How many people have you had sex with this year?

15. Made a new friend

17. Laughed until you cried

18. Met someone who changed you

19. Found out who your true friends were

20. Found out someone was talking about you

26. What did you do for your last Birthday

27. What time did you wake up today

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for

30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life

32. What are you listening to right now

33. When is the last time you had sex?

34. Who’s getting on your nerves right now

35. Most visited webpage

36. Favorite colour

37. Nicknames

38. Relationship Status

39. Zodiac sign

40. Male or female

41. Primary school

42. Secondary School

43. High school/college

44. Eye color

46. Height

47. Do you have a crush on someone

48. What do you like about yourself

49. Piercings

50. Tattoos

51. Righty or lefty

FIRSTS:

53. First piercing

54. First best friend

55. First hookup

56. First Bestfriend

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating

60. Drinking

61. I’m about to

62. Listening to

63. Waiting for

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids?

65. Get married?

66. Career

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes

68. Hugs or kisses

69. Shorter or taller

70. Older or Younger

71. Romantic or spontaneous

72. Nice stomach or nice arms

73. Sensitive or loud

74. Hook-up or relationship

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger

77. Drank hard liquor

78. Lost glasses/contacts

79. Had sex

80. Broken someone’s heart

82. Been arrested

83. Turned someone down

84. Cried when someone died

85. Fallen for a friend

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself

87. Miracles

88. Love at first sight

89. Heaven

90. Santa Clause

91. Kiss on the first date

92. Angels

93. How would you label yourself?

94. Someone You Pray Everyday For

95. Did you sing today

96. Who From All Your Ex’s have You Cared The Most About

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?

98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?

100. Do you like the way you look?

Actually ask me something. Anon or not.

[ilikegirlsssss11-blog]

Try me 🤪

[theseareyourskies]

I’d love a few questions

[wishingto-disappear]

distract me please

[neuroticdream]

“I refuse to tell anyone how bad it really got again.”

— Because I know they can’t handle to go through this again

[abneigungen-deactivated20160903]

[yourownknife]

Arrow // In Hearts Wake