* DEAD / WALKING

i woke up to another mess in the living room, broken bottles all around my feet. they came again in the night under crescent moon, didn't wake me from my sleep. this is a sideblog to voiidcd so all follows will come from there!

[akageesus]

KAREN PAGE

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         --   SMALL STARTER CALL !! 

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( ID. FRANK CASTLE: )

He smiled and rested his chin atop her head. Gently, he played with her hair as she cried, silently comforting her.

“Hey. Hey, kid.” He almost crouched down to speak to her, only to notice she was more of his height now. “Don’t be sorry, you hear? Nothing to be sorry about.”

                    everything she’s rehearsed in her mind, everything she wants to say to him dies on her lips as he plays with her hair, at least her tears subside enough to try and make a coherent thought. it doesn’t go unnoticed that he almost crouches, and she can’t help but laugh.

                    ‘ i guess i’m a bit different than the last time you saw me huh? ’ she sniffs, wiping at her eyes. ‘ most days i don’t even recognize myself anymore. it’s crazy. ’ lisa tries to keep it light, before she looks up at him again. ‘ are you... staying safe? i mean do you have a place to stay? i can’t imagine it’s been easy for a dead guy to find an apartment to rent. i know a good adult shelter, it’s a couple blocks from the one i was staying at before i met karen... i’ve been crashing on her couch lately though. ’ now she knows she’s rambling. stop talking and breathe. she scolds herself. ‘ sorry-- ’ she mumbles, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her sweater.

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( ID. LILY FITZPATRICK: )

“Nah it’s okay, honeybun. Myra will love you, so will Jesy and I, s’all good.” Lily smiled, nodding. She watched Rocco slink around Lisa’s ankles. “See, Rocco likes you.” She added. “Stop that, you’ll be fine. Listen, I don’t know what’s happened, and frankly I’m not gonna make you relive it if you don’t want to. But if you need to talk, need a hug, maybe you just want to exist in the same room as someone, we’re here for you. Okay? You can always hang out in Jesy’s lab, I rarely crash before 3am, please if you need something, ask. Even if you need one of the cats, Rocco’s friendly, Herby’s a treat. Also, we have plenty of hot chocolate and mini marshmallows for that precise reason, okay, indulge and just let us know if we need to get more.”

                    lisa looks down at the cat moving around her feet and smiles softly. well it’s nice that at least one person doesn’t know. her hand moves to the scar under her eyes as she nods a little. ‘ it’s fine... honestly i’m surprised you don’t already know what happened. ’ she goes through the events in rapid fire. her family was gunned down, she is technically dead and started to help out shield before jesy and george had brought her back to new york for the first time in three years. she knows her dad is alive, but isn’t ready for that, and she’s sure that other than him, the rest of her family is still dead. ‘ it’s just weird being back in the city. i haven’t... it’s just overwhelming. i don’t know how long i’m gonna have to look over my shoulder. and the last thing i want to do is put you and your family in harms way. ’

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( ID. BILLY RUSSO: )

Teeth sank into lower lip as he regarded the young girl, guilt twisting deep in his gut as he struggled to comprehend the situation. First had come the revelation that Frank was alive, and then his son and now Lisa… it was impossible. Or was it? If Frank and Frankie had come through it (albeit, the latter had been resurrected by the same mysterious forces that had given him this second chance at life) then there was no reason Lisa couldn’t do the same.

His chest a c h e d and he bristled at the uncomfortable sensation. Guilt was something he was still getting used to, and something he didn’t think he’d ever appreciate: who would?

“I’m sorry,” a useless apology and he knew it, but it was heartfelt all the same… he hoped. “I didn’t think there was anything I could do, I- at the time it just looked like if I spoke up, told your dad… I’d just wind up getting shot myself. I still don’t think I could have saved you… but… I should have done something. I just didn’t realise at the time how… important you all were.”

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                    his apology rings in her lisa’s like a warning bell. she doesn’t want to believe him, but somehow she does. maybe it’s because she’s still gripping for some part of her old life and who she was before. or maybe, no matter how hard she tries, she’s still the naïve child she should be. but she can’t give in so easily. not yet.

                    ‘ but we loved you... you were family. i don’t... ’ there was no connecting the words as they tumble past her lips. she tries, but it’s useless. she just wants the pounding in her head and the panic she’s feeling to stop. ‘ how am i supposed to believe... anything you tell me now? how am i supposed to look at you and not see you being the one to pull the trigger? ’ she asks, her hands clenching into fists as she swallows the lump in her throat. she wants to stay angry, she wants to yell and scream and tell him everything she’s wanted to tell him since she found out what really happened, but she can’t bring herself to do it anymore. she’s so tired.

                    ‘ i don’t want to hear any apologies... ’ she mumbles. ‘ i don’t... i’m just... i don’t want to hear it... right now... ’ lisa shakes her head and sniffs, looking down at the ground. ‘ did you ever regret it? what happened? ’

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( ID. KAREN PAGE: )

Karen raised a brow at her. “You know…. Digging for the truth on your dad and his story is how I started before I worked for the Bulletin.” She told her with a smirk. “Wanting answers. And now look at me.” She gestured to herself as a journalist. “I know you don’t think I do, but your dad will kill me if I let you go off poking your nose somewhere on your own.” She said with a smirk. “We both know how protective he is of you. Besides, I like working from home. Get less distractions here.” She admitted with a shrug. “I want to help. And I’ll bet your dad has contacts who might be able to help if you need some extra help.”

                    ‘ so what did you do before you were a journalist? ’ was that what she wanted to be? or did she want to work for whichever law enforcement sector focused on the runaway children. was there even a division for that? not the point. ‘ i wasn’t gonna go anywhere! he can’t keep me locked up in here like i’m rapunzel. i survived on my own before i found you... he does know that right? ’ of course he knows that, even if it is the safest place for her. she sighs and runs her hand through her hair. ‘ i just... what’s gonna happen if we do find something sketchy’s going on? they probably won’t listen to a teenager and they’ll probably try and bury... whatever we find, depending on where this leads. ’

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                    ‘ i know that you already have a kid, but i’m really glad that you still wanted to take me in anyway. ’ she was grateful to jesy and george for bringing her into their lives. it wasn’t easy to try and assimilate back into the world, especially after she arrived at shield where everyone knew everything about her life and how she died. there was a peace that washed over her when jesy offered her a place to stay, but she couldn’t help but feel like she was more in the way and a pain than anything. between the nightmares, and the endless search to find her dad, while also looking into helping the people she’d met at the youth shelter. ‘ i mean i’m probably not the ideal house guest, but i’m just... ’ she paused, biting the inside of her cheek, ‘ just, thank you... really. ’ she smiled a little.

          @castironloyalty | p.

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( ID. FRANKIE CASTLE: )

Frankie loved their father.  He truly did.  But, the man now known as the Punisher was not exactly the father he remembered.  They had reason to believe he was through that door, possibly “retired” - but Frankie was nervous.

Their Dad was a big, strong military type and Frankie was….

Well, he didn’t know what specifically - just that he wasn’t straight and he wasn’t cis and he was softer than a tempur-pedic.  Yes, he’d be overjoyed to see them - but how long would that last if he ever found out?

Regardless of his possibly irrational fears, he knew his sister was right.  Plus, he might not even be there.  “Let’s do it.”

                    lisa clenches her hands into fists a few times in her pockets. there’s a brief moment of panic and it crosses her features. her hand reaches out of her pocket and she grabs her little brother’s arm. ‘ hold on. ’ she bites her lip, worrying it between her teeth. she let’s out a shaky breath before nodding. ‘ alright... no time like the present. ’ she nods, her hand that she had removed from her pocket grabbing his in a death grip. 

                    ‘ you know... i never thought that this would be the one thing that would terrify me more than what we went through. ’ she mumbles, reaching her free hand out to knock on the door.

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( ID. KAREN PAGE: )

Karen looked over at the newspaper clippings. If she didn’t know any better, she would say that Lisa wanted her help with this. “You want me to help you find them? Write a story on it?” She asked her knowingly. Frank wouldn’t be happy with that, but at the same time. She knew Frank would want to help too. He had a soft spot for kids. “Yeah, I think we can do that sometime….” She thought about it. She really did have to turn in her article first today. “Let me finish my article and get it to Ellison first, okay?” 

                    lisa shrugs. ‘ i don’t really know, i haven’t thought about it... but i just want to know why they went missing and no one went looking for them. ’ she chews the inside of her cheek absently. ‘ you don’t have to stay here all day you know? you can go into work, you must be feeling like you’re going stir crazy. ’ she looks over at karen, raising an eyebrow. ‘ besides i wanna do some more digging before i make any big decisions... ’ she was sure that this, whatever she was getting herself into, wouldn’t be easy, but she really wanted to know what was happening. ‘ this apartment is the safest place for me in the city... if you have to go, or want to go, you can. i won’t go anywhere... ’

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( ID. KAREN PAGE: )

Karen tilted her head at Lisa’s words. “Yeah? What’s that?” She asked with a soft smile as she worked from home for the day. Frank didn’t like leaving Lisa alone all day and Karen could easily do a bulk of her work from home. She wasn’t entirely surprised at Lisa’s confession. But she was surprised she would want to be reminded of her painful past and help others through something similar. “I think you would do great at that. It takes a real hero to want to help others with what they’ve gone through.” She agreed with a smile. 

                    ‘ when you’re sixteen or younger and you’ve got no one looking out for you... no one looking for you period. their voices can slip through the cracks. ’ she shrugs, pulling a few newspaper clippings from her backpack. ‘ i copied these at the library the other day. ’ she sets them down next to her laptop. ‘ five kids, all under sixteen go missing from foster homes, somehow end up here in the city... no one was looking for them, the foster parents still kept cashing in on them... ’ she rubs the back of her neck. ‘ can we go back to the shelter? the one i was staying at before i found you, i wanna check up on fra-- on the kid that i saw there... ’

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                   ‘ c’mon frankie... ’ lisa looks over at her brother. ‘ i’m not gonna do this alone... ’ was she paranoid? probably. overprotective? definitely. scared? pleading the fifth. when she’s certain he’s not convinced, she purses her lips. ‘ alright, i’m scared... how are we supposed to be able to do anything without looking over our shoulders? y’know... we’re gonna have to do this at some point right? ’ she turns her gaze towards the door, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her sweater. ‘

          @juniorcastle | sc.

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( ID. KAREN PAGE: )

It felt odd to Karen, she and Frank almost co-parenting Lisa somehow. It was an unspoken agreement they seemed to come to. She didn’t mind of course, but she wasn’t sure how Lisa felt about it though. She in no way was trying to replace Maria, her mother and Frank’s wife. “I don’t know for sure. I guess we can ask your dad when he comes back though.” She mused.

                    there’s a comfort in her situation. she’s fallen into a routine, all of them have and it’s nice. familiar. lisa feels like she can breathe again, like she’s able to stop looking over her shoulder everywhere where she goes. of course she doesn’t go anywhere, not really. the library mostly, learning what she’s missed, almost like she’s continuing school on her own accord. but she wants more, she wants to be included. ‘ i think i figured out what i want to do... well once i finish school that is. ’ she taps her fingers on top of the table. ‘ i think i wanna work with kids who’ve been abused or abandoned. foster kids, the kids i saw in those shelters who couldn’t fight for themselves because they were too young, they couldn’t fight for themselves y’know? the youngest kid in there was thirteen, he was a runaway from dc i think he said. he looked so much like frankie i was drawn to him... it was... i don’t know what it was, but i just know that i can do something to help people if i try... ’ she pauses, looking up at her. ‘ do you think that’s a good idea? ’

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( ID. FRANK CASTLE: )

Idly, he could feel that his cheeks were starting to get wet. At first, he was completely unaware that they were tears, initially looking up at the sky only to find that no, it hadn’t started raining. He was beside himself, feeling almost giddy. He loved his son but Lisa was his first child and a girl, and as such she held a special place in his heart. He closed the distance between them and pulled her into a tight hug.

“It’s good to see you too…”

                    all of the sudden, the distance closes and his arms wrap around her. lisa quickly reciprocates, her hands gripping his shirt as tight as she could manage. a choked sob passes her lips as she buries her face in his chest. ‘ i’m sorry... ’ she cries, but she isn’t sure what for. after a few minutes, she’s stopped sobbing and she steps back just enough to drop her hands to her sides, looking down at her feet. ‘ i’m sorry... this wasn’t what i... pictured the first time i saw you again... ’ she mumbles, shaking her head as her tears drop onto the toes of her shoes. ‘ i’m sorry daddy-- ’ she repeats for a third time, looking up at him.

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tag drop

[voiidcd-blog]

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( voiidcd: )

                    ‘ i woke up to another mess in the living room, broken bottles all around my feet. they came again in the night under crescent moon, didn’t wake me in my sleep– ’

indie, tv/netflix based lisa castle | loved by ash | sideblog to voiidcd

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knowing your partner well makes writing together a lot easier. tag this with the people you enjoy roleplaying with but want to get to know better!!

REPOST. DO NOT REBLOG.

BASICS.

name:   ashleigh age:   twenty-one pronouns:   she / her zodiac sign:   sagittarius  taken or single:   she wrote me a poem and i love her.

THREE FACTS.

001.   i’m a trained criminal psychologist specifically majoring in domestic and sexual violence cases ( lowkey law and order: svu is the reason i chose the path i did ) 002.   i’m considered bilingual; i speak english and french and currently i’m trying to learn some spanish ( although it is very hard considering how similar things are in french... now it’s all jumbled in my head ) 003.   lame family fact: i have two siblings. but i am considered an only child as that’s how i was raised until i was six with my parents and i living on the other side of the country and i am my father’s only child.

EXPERIENCE.

platforms you used:   facebook ( years ago ), twitter ( also years ago ), discord and tumblr

MUSE PREFERENCE.

female or male:   i write both, but will rp with any and all least favourite face(s):  animated fc’s, some  multi or single:   all. of. them.

WRITING PREFERENCE.

fluff, angst, or smut?  angst and fluff... mostly angst. ninety-five percent angst. give me all of the angst please. plots or memes?  either. i suck at plotting so memes at least give me the chance to kinda think of something--

tagged by:   @woundedblackbird tagging: if you see this... fill it in y’all !! 

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( ID. FRANK CASTLE: )

If he was going to say anything, his words died on his tongue. His throat felt like someone was squeezing a hand around it, preventing anything coming out. It couldn’t be true, he had been sure that it couldn’t. His tongue darted out to wet his dry lips and he looked down at her. It was Lisa. He swallowed thickly. He wanted so much to believe that it was true, that she was here, that it wasn’t just another cruel hallucination, a product of his exhausted mind.

“Hi, kid…”

Maybe if he tried, if he really persuaded himself that it was true, it would turn out to be… He was tired of it all.

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                    she wants to run at him and hug him and probably never let go, but she is completely frozen in her spot. he’s real. karen was right. she was definitely going to have to thank the woman over and over when she got back to her apartment. ‘ hi... ’ she repeats, her voice shaky. ‘ um it’s good to see you, you look... different than the last time i saw you, ’ truthfully, that day still haunts her nightmares, swirling through her brain every time she  drifted off for more than thirty seconds. ‘ i’m sorry, to have just dropped in on you like this, i didn’t want to, but once i knew that you were alive... i had to find you. ’ she admitted, shifting her weight awkwardly between her feet.