- some details found here are about my life. Itigil na natin 'to. Those words came out from your mouth like a dragon spitting flame. Nakakasunog. Masakit. Maaaring ikamatay. Yan yung mismong sinabi mo noong gabing yun. That night when you've decided to kill me - emotionally. I thought it was just but one of our typical fights then. Yung tipong pagkaraan ng isa o dalawang araw, lilipas din. Magkakaayos din tayo. We'll make things right at babalik tayo sa dati. Pero nagkamali ako. The estimated two days became three. That three became four. Four became a week. And a week became two. Wala eh. Pataasan tayo ng ego at pride. It was as mighty as Great Wall of China. Sa sobrang taas nito, walang nakagawang tibagin ito. Kaya naman ang ending, nasira tayo. No one among the two of us tried saying sorry. No efforts were rendered. Hanggang sa narealize ko, di porke't ako yung babae, maghihintay na lang ako. That can't be. The world isn't in favor of gender stereotyping. We all fight for equal rights among men and women. And yes, I did the first move. I reached out for you. Ako yung unang nagsorry. I tried looking for you but to no avail, wala ka sa mga lugar na tinatambayan mo. I asked your friends where you are. And their answers? None. Isang ngiwi lang. But that didn't stop me. I said to myself, if hindi ako makapagsorry sa'yo ng personal, sa cellphone na lang. Alam ko magkaibang-magkaiba sila pero kasi, I was so desperate to patch things with you. Kasi hindi ko na kakayanin pa kapag lilipas pa ang isang araw na hindi pa natin naaayos ang gusot natin. Magsosorry ako sa'yo sa cellphone, pero sa oras na magkita tayo personally, magsosorry ulit ako. And so I did. I texted you but you never beeped me back. I called you, pero laging dial tone. But I didn't stop. Tinawagan kita nang tinawagan hanggang sa natyempuhan ko oras mo. Nagring. Sinagot mo. It was one of the spur moments wherein I felt gratefulness, fear, happiness, nervousness and of course... excitement. Sobrang saya ko noon na kulang na lang magtatakbo ako sa tuwa simply because magkakaayos na tayo. Saktong magsasalita na ako noon, pero sinalubong mo ako ng mga salitang kailanman ay hindi ko inaasahang sasabihin mo. Itigil na natin 'to. I was dumbfounded. Or is that world really enough to describe how I felt that time? I guess no. Sa sobrang daming naramdaman ko noon, hindi ko na alam kung paano ko pa mailalarawan ang lahat ng iyon. Sa una hindi ako nakapagsalita. Tinawanan kita. Hinintay ko yung part kung saan tatawa ka at sasabihin mo ang salitang 'joke'. Kasi doon ka magaling eh, sa mga jokes mong nakakaiyak dahil sa sobrang sakit ng tiyan ko kakatawa. Pero ano nga ba? Naghintay ako sa wala. I waited only to receive a sharp intake of breath from you. "You're kidding, right?" Tanong ko sa'yo. Somehow, I was hoping na mali yung hinala ko. But hindi eh. "Hindi." Dere-deretso at walang pag-aalinlangang sagot mo. I felt how cold and sharp your voice was. It hit my chest and the coldness slowly crept inside me, from my veins, to my heart, to my brain. Until it covered my whole system. At doon ko narealize na sobrang sakit pala. The pain in my heart caused my eyes to swell. I started crying silently. Pinigilan ko yung mga hikbi ko kasi ayokong ipakita sayo na sobra akong nasasaktan. Hindi yun joke pero napaiyak mo ako. And the worst part, I didn't cry because my stomach was aching from laughing out loud. I cried for my heart was breaking and shattering silently. Isn't it ironic? I was hesitant and reluctant. Tinanong kita kung bakit but you didn't say a word any further. Gustong-gusto kong malaman kung bakit kasi karapatan ko yun eh. Tayo yung involved sa relasyong gusto mong kalasan, dapat alam ko yung dahilan mo pero wala kang sinabi. Hindi mo gustong sabihin. At ang masaklap, nakikipaghiwalay ka na nga, sa cellphone pa. Ganun ba ako kababa? Ganun ba ako kawalang halaga sa iyo? Ganun ka ba kaexcited na makawala sa anino ko? Pero nirespeto kita at ang desisyon mo. Though it was painful, I agreed. I let you go and you slipped away. But still, in the end, I still muttered my sorry. I still told you how sorry I was cause that's my main reason for calling you. At ang narinig ko lang galing sa iyo, ang dial tone. It was just but a fleeting moment, but it lingered longer than what I expected. From experiencing euphoria, you suddenly loosened your grip. From falling in love with you, I fell into the ground full of mud and ashes of broken promises, broken dreams and a broken heart. I ended up being depressed. Gone were the days of butterflies, unicorns and rainbows. Hello to melting icebergs, drought and hurricanes. Hindi ako makakain ng maayos. Hindi makatulog ng maayos. Hindi makapag-aral ng maayos. Lahat-lahat, nawala sa ayos. I didn't have anyone to turn to. Hindi ko masabi sa mga magulang ko o kapatid ko kasi nahihiya ako. I couldn't tell my friends because they weren't in favor of my relationship with you. And since I didn't want them to end up loathing you, I suffered alone. I bawled my eyes out until it reached to the point wherein it was dry tears which came out from them. I did hurt myself physically to balance the pain within me. I shut myself from the world, and the world shut me off, too - socially. Pero kahit yata gaano kasakit ang lahat ng yun, I didn't stop caring for you. One time, nag-open ako ng facebook account ko. I wanna know what happened to you after the break-up. Kung nagdaramdam ka din ba. Kung nasasaktan ka din ba. O di kaya ay kung inaalala mo din ba ako gaya ng pag-alala ko sa iyo. I visited your account. And you know what I saw? You. With her. Your new girl. Kung gaano kasakit yung naramdaman ko noong panahong iniwan mo ako, doble yung naramdaman ko noong nalaman kong meron ka ng iba. I asked myself what, where, when, why and how did everything went wrong? Was it you? Was it me? Was it the both of us? Was it none? Kasi kung tutuosin, yung away natin noon, walang-wala yun compared sa mga away natin dati eh. Walang-wala yun compared sa mga kalokohan mo o yung mga bagay na ginagawa mo pag nakatalikod ako. Walang-wala yun compared sa mga pinalagpas kong hindi lang minsan kundi madaming panggagago mo. Ganun ba ako kadaling palitan? Pero wala akong ginawa. Nagsawalang-kibo ako. I ignored the pain which was slowly rising. Hindi ko kaya. Kahit ang dami ng rason para kalimutan kita, hindi ko magawa. That's how I was smitten by you. No matter how painful and world shattering it was, I still guarded and waited for your activities. Every now and then, may mga bagong post ka patungkol sa kanya. Kung gaano mo siya kamahal. Kung gaano siya kahalaga sa'yo. Every now and then, may mga bago din siyang updates na pictures ninyo. At lahat ng iyon pareho-pareho lang ang sinasabi. Pinapakita na sobrang saya mo sa piling niya. Kaya hinayaan kita. And then one time there's this male friend of mine who approached me. He told me I look so down and vulnerable. Tumanggi ako. Of course hindi ko sasabihin sa kanya. "You can always turn to me. I won't judge you. I'm giving you my shoulder to lean on." Yan yung laging sinasabi niya. Hindi niya ako tinigilan sa pagpapaamin ng damdamin ko. He kept on asking me on a daily basis if I'm good. He kept on reminding me that I could lean on him. Eventually, one day, I just found myself running into his arms. I told him everything about you, about me, about us. Lahat ng mga pangarap na hindi nabuo. Lahat ng pangako na napako. Ang relasyon nating gumuho. Lahat ng sakit naramdaman ko ulit. Cupid's flaming arrow pierced my smashed heart. Was it painful? Of course. The pain was unbearable that I needed water to stop it from burning that's why I decided to jump to the pool immediately when I saw one. Siya yung naging sponge ko. He absorbed all of the pain I vented out. Taga-punas ng luha at taga-hagod ng likod ko kapag hindi ko na kaya. I thought ganun lang yun. At masaya ako dahil may kaibigan akong nakakaintindi sa akin. But that's where I went wrong, again. "Mahal kita. Naiintindihan mo ba? Pinigilan ko. Tangina! Pinigilan ko to pero hindi ko kaya. I always see myself running back to you whenever I try to forget my feelings for you." He confessed his love for me. He told me he loves me. Na matagal na daw pero wala siyang lakas ng loob na umamin sa akin kasi duwag daw siya. Hindi ako nakapagsalita. Hindi din ako nakagalaw. I felt like even if I move even just a single, tensing muscle, baka magkamali ako. And so he left me and told me that he'll give me time to think about it. We parted ways that time - both caught in an awkward situation. He's my friend and entering a relationship with him may damage our friendship. It is risky. And I don't want to lay it out in this world of gambling. Hindi ako nakatulog sa gabing yun dahil binabagabag ako ng mukha niya noong hindi ako nakasagot. Nag-isip ako. At sobrang lalim nito. Naisip kita at siya, yung mahal mo ngayon. Nakita ko kung gaano ka kasaya and that you're doing well now. I saw the glint in your eyes, the glint that I always see back when it was me who was in her position. Inisip ko maybe I needed someone, too. Cause I was stuck with the idea of us, I needed someone who'll pop that thought in my head. I needed someone who'll make me realize na hindi ka nag-iisa sa mundong ito. Nainggit ako. In the end, I broke my own principles. I took the risk. I laid a bet. And yes, I accepted his love for me. I committed my whole to my friend. Hindi ko makakalimutan yung mukha niya noong gabing iyon. Sobrang saya niya. Binuhat pa niya ako at pinaikot-ikot kaya ang ending, puro tawa lang. For the first time after God knows when, tumawa ako. And it felt so damn good that I found myself cheering up my alter-ego. And my other self willingly obliged. Sobrang gaan sa pakiramdam. Every now and then, we go out on dates. Nagtreking kami, island hopping, kumain ng kwek-kwek sa tabi ng daan, nagfine dining. Lahat-lahat. We would spend our time texting or calling one another pag wala kaming budget panggala. And we'd end up everything with the sweet three words. I love you. It tasted so sweet everytime he utters those words back then. Damang-dama mo yung emotion at sincerity niya. But for me, all I could taste is the bitterness in my tongue whenever I tell him those words. Of course I would simply because I was saying it back to someone I don't share mutual feelings with. I realized that the happiness I was feeling with him was nothing but just a laughter without a sound. My words were empty. My heart wasn't palpitating. Wanna know why? Because he's not you. And yes again. I was still yearning for you and your love. And then you dropped me a message, which surprised me cause since the break-up, we cut our communication. And you were asking me if I have time to meet you. At ako naman itong si tanga, without second thoughts, I said yes. Nakipagkita ako sa'yo. We met on a lazy afternoon. Pero naestatwa ako sa nakita ko. Ikaw, pero ibang ikaw. Pansin ko ang pamumula ng mga mata mo. Ramdam ko ang kalungkutan mo. I sat in front of you. It was awkward and the silence was eerie. Hindi ako sanay na tahimik ka pero wala pa rin akong ginawa. Wala sa atin ang nagsalita. The whole time, wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang titigan ka. Then you broke the silence. You told me na nagkaproblema kayo. Sabi mo wala kang ibang masabihan kaya sa akin ka tumakbo. "You know me so well. At alam kong ikaw lang ang makapagpapagaan ng loob ko ngayon." yan yung sinabi mo sa akin at alam ko, lahat ng iyon ay totoo. Lahat yata ng sugat mo, alam ko. Lahat ng bilang ng pagtikhim mo sa isang araw, alam ko. "I'll help you para magkaayos kayo." sabi ko. Siguro nga masokista ako. Kasi tinulungan kita kung paano kayo magkakaayos. The knives stabbed in my heart were removed and with that, it bled non-stop until I ran out of blood. We prepared a surprise for her. You brought her in a garden full of lanterns. She came. And god! She was so stunning with her floral flowy dress and bare face. Andun ako during the whole time. Sabi ko kasi sa'yo, I couldn't miss it for the man who became a special part of my life. Andun ako noong nagsorry ka. Andun ako noong nagmakaawa kang patawarin ka niya. Andun ako noong niyakap ka niya. Andun ako noong hinalikan mo siya. I was there. I was there in the corner looking at the both of you intently with tears streaming down my face. "I couldn't bear the pain. I can't lose you. Mababaliw ako. Mababaliw ako." Yan yung sinabi mo sa kanya. And somehow, those words reminded me of our good, old days. Yung mga panahong ako yung mahal mo. Ako yung nag-iisa diyan sa puso at sa buhay mo. Hanggang sa hindi ko na kinaya. I averted my gaze and looked at the ground. And there it was, the broken pieces of me lying on the floor. They were like the stars scattered on the nightsky. The only difference was that they weren't glowing. They were soaked with my tears. Once again, I had my heart broken. Nakakatawa 'no? Kasi hindi pa naghihilom yung sugat na iniwan mo, pero heto ako. I willingly offered myself to you once again for another twisted pain. Paano nga bang masasabing twisted pain iyon? Simply because you never gave me those kind of surprises. You never gave me those kind of looks you offered to her. You never treated me like a fragile glass because I had always been strong in your sight. And then my phone rang. It brought me back to my senses. It was him calling me. I received the call. Tinanong niya kung nasaan na ako at nag-aalala na siya kasi hindi pa ako nagpapakita at may usapan kami. Right then and there, I stoned at my position. Naalala kong magkikita nga sana kami kasi may ibibigay daw siya. I mentally nudged myself. Ang tanga ko. Ang tanga-tanga ko. Without saying goodbye to you, I went out of the venue. I ran at a speed limit to meet and see him. And when I reached the place, I saw him facing something big. Yes, it was really big for it was a hot air balloon. Sabi ko kasi sa kanya noon, I would love to fly it during the night para pakiramdam ko, abot ko ang langit. I took my steps to get closed to him. Tumabi ako sa kanya. He looked at me and then he flashed his boyish smile. It was worth melting, pero hindi ako natunaw. Kasi hindi siya ikaw. "Eto yung ibibigay ko sa'yo." sabi niya while flashing a cocky grin. Napaiyak ako kasi he was giving me everything I wanted just to make me happy. Agad niya akong dinaluhan kasi hindi daw bagay sa occassion ang pag-iyak ko. There I was busy preparing something that will make the man I love be at ease while he was here, busy making something that will make me feel special. I felt guilt slowly eating me up. And so I told him the truth. Sinabi ko na nakipagkita ako sa'yo. At sinabi kong walang nagbago sa nararamdaman ko. Mahal pa din kita. Bigla niya akong binitawan. Lumayo siya sa akin. I saw how his fist balled and his jaw clenched. His boyish smile vanished. Then all of a sudden, nagwala siya. Noong una natakot ako, pero kalaunan, kinalma ko din ang sarili ko. I was there watching him as he slowly break down. Hinarap niya ako, and I saw the tears running down his face. May pumiga sa puso ko. I felt sorry kasi dinamay ko pa siya sa kaguluhan ng buhay ko. "Minsan ba, naging masaya ka sa piling ko?" Tanong niya sa akin. Seeing his face made me taste the guilt. What have I done? I'm such a btch. "Oo." sagot ko. "But that happiness I felt with you wasn't fulfilling. It's not the happiness I am looking for." "Ni minsan din ba, hindi mo ako minahal? Hindi mo ba naramdaman yung pagbilis ng tibok ng puso mo pag kasama mo ako?" Hindi ako nakasagot. Hindi ako sumagot kasi ayokong mas lalo pa siyang masaktan. But little did I know, my silence worsened the situation. Nakita ko yung galit at disappointment sa mga mata niya. Sinigawan niya ako. He told me that he gave me everything he could offer just for me to love him in return. And he thought I fell for him because I could say his I love you's back. He turned his back on me but before he could disappear in my sight, he told me something. You won't be able to find someone as selfless as me. Nagsisi ako ko dahil sa kagagahan ko, nadamay pa ang ibang tao. It was like cancer cells were slowly dominating my body. It was late to discover that's why chemo therapies weren't enough to heal me. And what happened next? I died. I was just so impulsive and so eager to move on back then that's why I accepted him. Ako lang dapat yung nagdurusa. But I dragged him into my misery without our knowledge. Galit siya. He was raging mad. I said sorry numerous times. Lagi ko siyang inaabangan makapagsorry lang pero itinuring niya ako bilang isang hangin. Wala lang. Hindi niya nakikita. I know my sorries weren't enough. They couldn't help in taking away the pain. They won't ease the agony. But still, I took my chances. Even if it's just the littlest thing I could do for him, I still did. Pinapatay ako ng konsensya ko until it reached to the point wherein my depression doubled. He was the one who helped me when I was at my downfall. While me? I became the reason for his downfall. Sa kagustuhan kong makausad, mas lalo lang tumagal yung lakad ko kasi mabigat ang pasan ko. Now I know what Atlas is feeling for carrying the whole world by himself. And somehow, I wished somebody could light it up. At nangyari ang kinatatakutan ko. Nasira ang friendship namin. I kept on hoping for you to comeback the same time I wished for our friendship to find its way home. But who am I fooling anyway? It costs a water not to stop a coal from burning and a flame not to stop a water from freezing. Sa madaling salita, imposible. Then one day, I saw him with another girl. He was so happy. She could make him laugh his heart out at the same time, she could make his temper boil. That's her effect on him. Doon ko napagtanto that he found someone whom can share the mutual feelings with, something I wasn't able to give him. Nagpakita ako sa kanila, and I saw that his rage for me hasn't subsided yet. That's when I knew that his anger for me became a way for him to move on. Because of it, he found his match and he was moving forward. And I was happy for him. But I felt a pang of pain inside me. He was happily moving forward, while me, I was still stucked. Stucked with the unreachable and destructive idea of us. And I envied him for finally getting over me. And so I told myself, kung nakapag-move on siya dahil sa galit niya sa akin, then it means kaya ko din. Kasi yung damage na iniwan ko, mas maliit kumpara sa damage na iniwan mo sa akin. So I did it. I recalled all of your flaws and your mistakes. Those times wherein you weren't able to fulfill your promises. Those moments wherein you always come one hour later than the agreed time. I refreshed my mind with your shortcomings. Those times wherein you forgot all of our special occasions. Those times wherein you ditched me just to be with your friends. Kahit hindi ko kaya, pinilit ko ang sarili ko na magalit sa iyo. Hindi ako nagreply sa mga text mo para mas mapadali yung proseso. Dumagdag pa sa kagustuhan kong iyon ang nakita kong bagong upload mo na picture niya holding a huge and fluffy teddy bear. You never gave me such gifts. You were all into sweet words and messages. You were always into asking me out instead of buying me material gifts. And then I remembered, you know that I am not into material gifts. Kahit na anong pilit mo noon o tanong mo kung ano ang gusto kong regalo, I declined all of them. And that's where I regret a little. Maybe a little? Cause there were no material things inside my room that would remind me of you. My notebook which was filled with your hand writings and your names is nowhere to be found. My cellphone which was filled with your sweet messages from the day we first became official and pictures and videos of us, I left it in the cab dahil sa pagmamadali ko noon due to heavy rain. At ang cellphone na gamit ko ngayon? Wala lang. Ang tanging nandito lang ay ang messages mo noong nag-aaway tayo. Yung pangalan mo sa call log ko noong naghiwalay tayo. The tissues we used to doodle sa Mcdo, lahat ng yon iniiwan natin sa tray o di kaya ay itinatapon. Ang nasa kwarto ko lang, mga tissues na ginamit ko sa gabi-gabing pag-iyak ko. Sana. Sana. Sana kahit papaano, may masasayang bakas ka man lang sa kwarto ko. Pero wala. None. All that's left were memories. And then fear crept inside me. I saw the happiness in your eyes. Natakot ako na baka mas magagandang memories ang ibigay niya sa iyo. I was so afraid that you'd forget about me. I was so afraid that in the end, all of the times we've shared will only be remembered by me. Only me. Baka sa huli, yung mga ala-ala nating dalawa, hindi mo na maalala. And then one thing made me realize something deeper. Yung mga pagkukulang mo sa akin, yung mga pagkakamali mo, yung mga imperfections mo, lahat ng yon ang mas nagpatibay sa pagmamahal ko sa'yo. How can I forget you when all of the pain you've caused and all of the troubles you've brought made me love you even harder? How can I do that when all of the things I've laid to finally move forward held me intact to my place of loving you? And so I failed. I failed bigtime. Napagtanto ko na kahit gaano kalaki o kaliit ang damage na naiiwan ng isang tao, lahat ng yun pare-pareho lang. They are all damages left after a calamity. And then my friends approached me. They told me that they knew what happened based from observations. I told them my reason for not telling them. Pinagmumura nila ako. Nakatanggap ako ng sampal. "Baka sakaling mahimasmasan at magising ka sa lahat ng kagagahan mo." Yan yung sinabi nila. They told me that not because they showed how much they disliked you for me doesn't mean they didn't support us. Of course they were thankful for you gave me happiness and that you were there when they weren't around. May kaunting pait akong nalasahan noong sinabi nilang gago ka dahil iniwan mo ako. But then again, at the end of the day, nagkahiwalay man tayo o hindi, they'd still be there for me. We're friends and friends won't leave your back. Sa huli, bumalik kami sa dati. Gumala. Nagparty. Nag out of town. Lahat-lahat ng dati naming ginagawa. Unti-unti, bumalik ang lahat sa dati. It wasn't a full recovery but somehow, may improvement. Because of that, I went back to my tracks. Inalala ko lahat sa akin. Sabi ko hindi pa naman huli hindi ba? It was just but too late for me to realize what I needed to do. Move on. And this time, I'll do it slowly. Nanamnamin ko lahat ng proseso. Lahat ng sakit. That's where I've started to see the break up at a different perspective, at a lighter side. I took that as a stepping stone for me to move on. Ginawa ko lahat ng mga bagay na naging hobbies ko noong tayo. Yung mga bagay na naging dahilan ng pag-aaway natin dahil nagseselos ka kuno. I did all of them not because I wanted you to see me and stop me from doing them all over again. I did them because they made me feel so free. Pinuntahan ko mga paborito nating kainan. I reminisced everything. What I did? I wrote the tissues with the things we used to do and the things I felt that time when you've decide to call it quits. And like how we usually do, I left the tissues in the tray or threw them in the bin. Namasyal ako sa mga lugar na pinagdalhan mo sa akin. Of course a tear would escape every now and then but minutes later, I'll laugh because of the silly accidents we both indulged ourselves to on our dates. And then I started doing things I should have done back then. My circle of friends grew larger. Maraming magagandang ala-ala ang nangyari. Of course I hoped that I was with you. Hindi mawawala iyon. At times inalala pa din kita. Kung kumusta ka na. Ano na ang nangyari? Doon ko nalaman that that was what really moving on means. Akala ko kasi dati hindi ko kaya kasi sobrang lakas ng impact mo sa akin. Hindi pala. Hindi sa hindi ko kayang mag-move on. Ayoko lang mag-move on. Natakot akong mag-move on kasi baka dumating sa point na bigla kang bumalik tapos wala ka ng babalikan kasi hindi na kita mahal. That's what held me in. And now I've let go of that. And yes. At those times, though I was in the process, I admit that I still loved you. Hindi ganun kadaling kalimutan ka at oo, mahal pa rin kita. But I accepted my fate. There was no future for us. And then one day you showed at my doorstep, holding a bouquet of roses. Nabigla ako. "What do you need?" I asked you and there was no hint of coldness in my voice. You smiled shyly. You even held your nape. Natawa ako kasi for the first time, nahiya ka. I motioned you to come in. We were happily talking then. Nagkamustahan tayo. You asked me if ano yung mga ginagawa ko lately. Nagkwento ako nang nagkwento. And then it was my turn to ask you questions. I asked you how it was for you and you said you're good. "Eh kayo, kumusta?" I asked out of the blue. I wanna know how happy you are cause somehow, concern pa rin ako sa'yo. I wanna know. I just freaking wanna know. Natahimik ka bigla. Sumeryoso ka. "Wala na kami." you answered curtly. Nabigla ako, of course. Kasi why would you break up when I saw how the two of you managed to bring your relationship to cloud nine. Then I saw how your eyes started to water. You told me everything. And when I say everything, yung dahilan mo kung bakit ka nakipaghiwalay sa akin at nagsisisi ka kasi iniwan mo ako. Hindi ako nakapagsalita pero naramdaman ko ang pangingilid ng nga luha ko. "I started looking for you after that day we made a surprise for her. Bigla ka na lang kasing nawala. I wanna thank you for the help." pagsisimula mo. "Pero hindi kuta nakita eh. And then naramdaman ko na lang na parang binibiyak ang puso ko. Damn! Masakit. Halos hindi ako makahinga. "I don't get it." sabi ko. Oo, hindi ko maintindihan. Wala akong maintindihan. "It dawned on me, baby. That time na sinabi kong hindi ko siya kayang mawala, mukha mo yung nakita ko. Tawa mo yung narinig ko. Tibok ng puso mo yung naramdaman ko." You told me that you even followed me sa mga lakad ko. Nagtago ka para lang masundan ako. You said you saw how happy I was and that I should have been sharing those happiness with you. With me, you felt whole and free and genuine and happy. "Naging tanga ako. Nabulag ako. All this time, ikaw yung mahal ko. Fck! Ikaw lang ang mahal ko. And I'm sorry that I took you for granted." You pleadingly told me. Kaya noong nakapag-isip-isip ka, hiniwalayan mo siya para sa akin. "Take me back, baby. I'm begging. I'll make it up for our lost love and lost time. Just take me back." you added. Masaya ako. Sobrang saya ko noon. You don't know how much I waited for that time to happen and it did really happen. You came back. And you keep on coming back. But it's too late, now. Oo, mahal kita. Mahal na mahal kita. Pero kasi, may mahal na akong iba. At sa proseso ng pagmomove-on ko, mas minahal ko siya. Ang sarili ko.
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
ellievsbear
discoholicmusic
izzy806
prguitarman
pixelskylines
