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@carriersofhope
In my latest devotional, I share how God used seasons in my life to expose hidden beliefs, challenge fear, and bring truth into places I didn’t even realize needed healing. If you’ve ever struggled with fear, control, or overthinking, this one is for you. 👉 Read it here: https://carriersofhope.com/?p=3477 Fear doesn’t get the final word. Truth does.
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I didn’t realize how much was forming beneath the surface of my heart until God started exposing it in ways I couldn’t ignore. Sometimes it’s not the big moments that shape us—but the things quietly growing underneath that we don’t even realize are still there.
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The Breaking Before the Becoming: Why God Does His Deepest Work in Hidden Seasons Do you remember growing up and seeing those long, legged, hairy little insects just walking around without a care in the world? Caterpillars. I remember being outside all the time, back when our parents didn’t want us inside—and being so curious about them. I even read The Very Hungry Caterpillar. I was fascinated by how something so small and simple could become something so beautiful. Little did I know back then that a caterpillar goes through stages—what we now know as metamorphosis. I won’t go into all the stages, but I want to focus on three: the larva stage, the chrysalis stage, and the adult stage. The larva stage is simple—the caterpillar eats and grows. That’s it. It consumes and stores energy for what’s next. And honestly, I think of that stage as seasons in our lives where we’re learning, growing, and taking things in… sometimes even the wrong things. But then comes the chrysalis stage. And this is where I want to sit for a moment. Because this is where everything changes. This is the hidden stage. The uncomfortable stage. The breaking stage. Inside the chrysalis, the caterpillar literally begins to break down into what scientists call a biological soup. Everything that once was… dissolves. And if I’m honest—that’s exactly what my life felt like. For years, I felt like I was in a cage. Boxed in. Stuck in cycles I couldn’t break. Things that once defined me didn’t fit anymore. Old habits were being stripped. My identity felt unclear. It didn’t feel like transformation.It felt like everything was falling apart. The internal dialogue got louder: “This isn’t working.” “I should be further along.” “When am I going to overcome this?” “Maybe this just isn’t for me.” And one of the biggest places I saw this was in my licensing exam.Year after year, I would miss it by just a few points.Every time I walked out of that exam, I had to face the same voices—fear, failure, doubt. Telling my family and friends I didn’t pass again. The anxiety. The pressure. The shame. But what I didn’t realize at the time was this: God wasn’t just concerned about me passing a test. He was revealing what was happening inside of me. The fear. The self-reliance. The wounds from my past. The lies I had believed about myself. That stage exposed everything. And I had to come face-to-face with it. Looking back, I can see that while I was in my “larva stage,” I was feeding—but not always on the right things. I wasn’t consistently allowing God’s Word to renew my mind the way it should have. So when the pressure came, what was inside of me surfaced. And I realized—I couldn’t fix this on my own. That’s when the shift began. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” I started asking, “God, what are You trying to change in me?” Because real change feels like loss before it feels like growth.Old coping patterns were being dismantled. Old identities were being stripped away. But something deeper was happening. God was doing an internal work—an identity transformation, not just behavior modification. It reminded me of Romans 12:2—how we are transformed by the renewing of our mind. I had heard it for years… but I wasn’t fully living it. Not until I had no other choice. Not until I was in a place where I had to surrender control.And then… came the release. What once dominated my life—anxiety, fear, the lies, began to lose its grip. Peace became my compass. Trust replaced control. And I leaned into God in a way I never had before. Then came the outward evidence. I passed my exam. Not only did I pass—I finished with 70 minutes left, something that had never happened before. And I passed by 8 points. Eight—the number of new beginnings. I had to go through the breaking to step into the becoming.Because a caterpillar doesn’t become a butterfly overnight. It enters a hidden place where everything that once worked… stops working. Where things fall apart bef...
Have you ever noticed how personal God’s protection becomes when you really read Scripture closely? “I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” David sang these words to the Lord when God delivered him from all his enemies and from Saul. One thing that really stood out to me—he uses the word “MY” eight times! God isn’t just a helper in general; He’s personal, and these are words David sang straight to Him. Breaking It Down (Like a Student ) MY STRENGTH – When I feel weak, God gives me power. MY ROCK – Stability when life feels shaky. MY FORTRESS – A safe, secure place to run to. MY DELIVERER – The one who rescues me. MY SHIELD – Protector when battles come. THE HORN OF MY SALVATION – Victory and freedom from sin. MY STRONGHOLD – Security no matter what’s going on. It reminded me of the song by MC Hammer, “Can’t Touch This.” The chorus says “Can’t touch this,” and in the first verse he sings: “My, my, my, my music hits me so hard Makes me say, ‘Oh, my Lord.’” I laughed when I thought about it, but it stuck with me—just like in the song, these are words David sang to the Lord. The enemy couldn’t touch him; God delivered him from the hand of his enemies and from Saul. How much more will the Lord do this for you! Life Application Insert your name into these “MY” statements. Say it aloud: God is [Your Name]’s ROCK, FORTRESS, DELIVERER… and remember, the enemy can’t touch this! Just like David, we face enemies, challenges, and times that feel overwhelming. Sometimes those enemies are people, but other times they are feelings—fear, doubt, frustration, or discouragement. But God has already proven Himself faithful. No matter what this season brings, we can run to Him, take refuge, and know He covers us completely—and the enemy can’t touch this! You will probably never look at that song the same again, lol. But it is true—He is your strength, your deliverer, your shield, the horn of your salvation, and your stronghold! And remember: “HE CAN’T TOUCH YOU.” Prayer Lord, thank You for being my strength, my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer. Help me remember that no matter what I face, I can run to You for protection, security, and peace. Remind me that You cover me completely, and that when I stand in You, the enemy cannot touch what belongs to You. Amen. With love, Carrier’s of Hope Breathing hope, one life at a time
Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us that “there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” But let’s be honest—how many of us feel like we’re sitting in a spiritual waiting room, hoping God will call our name? Waiting for results. Waiting for healing. Waiting for peace. Waiting for something, anything, to finally change. Sometimes that waiting room feels endless. We sit there with our frustration, pain, and repetitive battles, wondering, “Lord, how long is this season going to last?” Then we come across Ecclesiastes 3:3, “a time to tear down…” Oh yes. That moment when you want to tear someone down with your words. For me? I have a specific laugh, the “I’ve had enough” laugh. The one that says, She-Hulk is about to come out. It’s that season where you feel like you’re at war—whether it’s family conflict, spiritual warfare, or a battle inside your own heart. Ecclesiastes 3:4 talks about “a time to weep and a time to mourn. ”Some seasons hit that deep. The tears and grief are real. And the mourning isn’t always about physical death—it can be the death of expectations, old identities, or dreams you never thought would break. Then there’s Ecclesiastes 3:5, “a time to embrace and a time to refrain.” This one hit me personally, and there comes a moment when you realize: I’ve allowed certain patterns for years. And now? It’s time to let go of old ways and rebuild new ones. Ecclesiastes is full of these contrasts, and honestly, it feels like a book about waiting, but also about becoming. And I wish our seasons changed as quickly as fall, winter, spring, and summer. But they don’t. Some seasons take time. And waiting can make us weary. Yet if you keep reading, Ecclesiastes promises that there will come a time to laugh, a time for peace, and yes—a time to dance. (That part makes me happy, because I love to dance!) And did you know dancing is actually used in therapy? Dance/Movement Therapy is a recognized psychotherapeutic practice that strengthens the mind-body connection, enhances self-expression, builds confidence, and improves emotional regulation. I may need to look more into this! Honestly, sometimes all it takes is music, and suddenly I’m having a full concert in my car like I’m Janet Jackson herself. And I can’t help but wonder, maybe we should start dancing with the people we love when we’re going through something. Movement breaks heaviness. Yesterday, the Lord reminded me of Joel 2:23-25: “He will give you the autumn rains because He is faithful. The threshing floors will be filled… The vats will overflow. I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten. “This is God whispering: “I see your season. I know the years that were stolen. And I’m going to restore you.” Threshing floors symbolize purification and transformation. Overflowing vats represent abundance, joy, and blessing after famine. And God’s promise to restore the years of devastation? That means He never wastes our waiting. Yesterday, I heard a man testify that he didn’t meet the “new version of himself” until he walked through the valley of leukemia. He is healed today. He said he kept searching for the new version before suffering—but the transformation didn’t come until he walked through it and made it to the other side. And that hit me. Because sometimes I stop running the race. I get weary. I get frustrated. And yes, sometimes even angry with God, wondering: “Why am I still facing this?” But then James 1:2 -4 reminds us: “Count it all joy when you face trials, because the testing of your faith produces patience, and patience produces maturity so that you lack nothing. ”Nothing wasted. Nothing lost. Nothing overlooked. Eventually, when you’re in the waiting room, it is not the end. These Scriptures remind us that when the season is long, when the tears are real, and when the transition feels endless, God is working behind the scenes. There will be a season of laughter again. There will be peace again. There will be dancing ag...
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One of my favorite Marvel characters is the Hulk. Bruce Banner was a calm, intelligent, and laid-back scientist. Yet he had a part of him that, when emotions overwhelmed him—anger, stress, threats—he transformed into the Hulk. His strength came with a challenge: when he allowed his emotions to dictate his actions, he could not control himself and would destroy anything in his path. He did not yet know how to regulate or channel those emotions. I believe we all have a “Hulk” inside of us—not a monster, but a part of us that, if unmanaged, can spiral out of control. We can be triggered by frustration, the pressures of life, feeling misunderstood, exhaustion, past wounds, fear of losing control, or uncertainty about the future. Yet, like the Hulk, this inner part of us is not evil. It is often trying to protect us. But unmanaged strength can hurt what we’re trying to protect. Like the gifts the Lord gives us, our strength is a blessing—but it can also be harmful if not used properly. One of my gifts is teaching, and through that, I had to learn to use my voice. Initially, I wasn’t always familiar with its use. I could be rough around the edges, acting out like a toddler having a tantrum, not knowing how or when to express myself. At times, I’ve hurt others simply by being too direct or lacking self-control. As Proverbs 25:28 reminds us: “A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.” But just like Bruce Banner learned, power is greatest when guided, not unleashed. Every time the Hulk was unleashed, Bruce likely became weary, maybe even regretful, seeing the damage caused by uncontrolled strength. God teaches us that His strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). He doesn’t take away our power or intensity but redirects it to His purpose when we surrender to Him. This doesn’t justify acting out, but when we hand our emotions and weaknesses over to God, Christ’s power can rest on us, teaching us wisdom, patience, and discernment. Weaknesses do not mean you’re not winning; it can be used as a demonstration in setting us up for the future. We are invited to respond instead of react, to use our strength to build rather than tear down. Reflection Questions What situations tend to trigger my “inner Hulk”? When I react strongly, what am I really trying to protect or defend? Where is God asking me to surrender some of my weaknesses so He can activate His strength in a controlled, purposeful way? Remember: you don’t need to suppress your strength or silence your emotions. God wants to transform raw power into righteous power, so your strength becomes a blessing, not a burden.
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When it is not easily detected
When it is not easily detected
There it was moving quickly and agilely into different parts of my environment. Not being able to see fully, it camouflaged itself, and it took over my surroundings. I felt this crippling pain and recognized that it had its tail so profoundly sunken in me. With no sudden movement, it continued to stare at me, this overbearing ugly thing. It was not intimidated, yet intimidating and seemed it knew…
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That one thing that is crippling you!
That one thing that is crippling you!
Do you know you have the power within you to be a change agent?
It is easy to allow our thoughts to dictate what we do or where we go in our lives.
It’s like the meaning of insanity “Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.”
What is that one thing in your life that you want to change?
Whether its to get up early, get a workout in, make that business decision,…
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"Caution, don't get caught in the conflict jungle"
“Caution, don’t get caught in the conflict jungle”
There is so much going on in our world today. People are being hypervigilant are in a state of increased anxiety which can cause so many different emotions due to what is going on with the CoronaVirus. Creating conflict in areas that we did not plan and were unprepared for. People are having to social distancing themselves, not by choice. Organizations and places of business are closing shop for…
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It is time to unlock whose within you. I remember growing up hearing my stepfather tell me, "I would never amount to anything." So I allowed fear to paralyze me and keep me hidden.
Invisible vs Visible
Have you learned to live with your mask? Or maybe you wear many different masks? Because your hustling for worthiness and continue to numb yourselves so that you do not feel or show your vulnerability to others. By holding a mask at all costs, because what if they would discover the real you?
Who is the real you? Have you been hurt due to someone shaming, putting you down, or downright did…
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The Tyrant
Have you ever looked back at the medieval days and been so fascinated by the ruler over their kingdom. I love the way they align themselves up for battle. Anything that stepped foot on their territory, they were armed and ready. One of my favorite movies is Troy. This movie portrays the struggle between the ancient kingdoms of Troy and Sparta. I love watching the different rulers and how they…
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Don’t stop being you!
I learned a valuable lesson in 2019. I was raised in an environment where I had no voice growing up. I quickly took inventory that when people are used to you being a certain way, and then you bring change, they no longer want to be buddy, buddy with you.
Your new growth becomes a threat when your light shines in on them and what they lack or need to grow in. You become the so called “bad…
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Dig up the root to find the truth!
Dig up the root to find the truth!
Have you ever wondered why we do the things we sometimes do? Maybe you are unaware that you are doing it! Sometimes the things we struggle with is rooted in something that might seem unrelated to the behavior itself.
I have been guilty of saying, “I’m going to stop doing this. As if it was that easy, right. These approaches are helpful, but in reality, that particular challenge does not just…
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What are you giving birth to?
What are you giving birth to?
Do you know that everyone has a purpose and calling in their lives?
I was never one who believed that I had a purpose in life. My upbringing was a rough one and I did not like people, especially the religious ones. I was a person who was full of anger and could spit acid in how much bitterness I was holding inside my heart! I grew up with a religious and legalistic stepfather.
Religion was…
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What road are you on?
What road are you on?
I like having control over things, like what my upcoming weeks look like or knowing when and how I am going to handle a particular project. Or how to get my kids or husband to get them to do something I want them to do. I can predict the outcome and prepare accordingly for attitudes and negotiation and even compromising. Yet there have been other things that I had no control over. I have mentored…
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Authentic Self
Have you struggled to share your authentic self with others? Do you even know who your authentic self is?
When I think of being authentic, I think of a person who wears no makeup. I am not saying that a person who wears makeup is not genuine. I am saying this is what comes to my mind. A fresh, clean face with nothing on it to cover it up. No highlighters, foundation, or concealer are covering…
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