Psycholo(me)

- Carson Melichercik - - SOC136 - - Sarah Mormul - - March 22, 2015 -

[carsonmelichercik]

fire away

Sometimes observational learning isn’t only applicable to skills. In certain instances it can be a useful tool for keeping yourself safe. I own a hunting bow, and although I don’t hunt, I love to loose my arrows at man made targets. I remember the day I bought the bow. My friend and I set up a target in his backyard. We decided he was going to shoot first, while I watched. He then walked about 50 feet away from the target while I stood less than ten feet to the side of it. He put his first arrow straight through the target we made and about a foot deep into the earth behind it. I saw the power the bow had to loose its arrows. For his next shot, I stood ten feet behind him. 

It didn’t take long for me to learn through observation. But with that one shot he took, I learned that I needed to respect the power of the weapon we were firing more than I had thought previous to seeing it fired. Observational learning doesn’t need to take years, it can take seconds. 

[carsonmelichercik]

[carsonmelichercik]

taking the wheel

Most people learn how to drive when they turn 16. They get in the car and they put the key in the ignition, push down the gas pedal and drive. But what most people don’t realize is that as they are “learning” to drive, they already know how. I started learning to drive when I was three years old. My Mom put me in the back seat of her car and drove to my grandparents house. I watched her rotate the wheel when she wanted to turn the car. I saw her leg lower on one pedal to make us speed up, and slam on the other to make us stop. 

I started driving when I was 16. I got in the car for the first time and already knew to put the key in the ignition. I already knew to push down on the gas pedal to go. I knew that if I wanted to turn right, I had to rotate the steering wheel right. I already knew how to drive, I was only learning the feel of driving. I had already observed everything I needed to know. 

[carsonmelichercik]

keep it complex

Oversimplifying is something that I used to do a lot. I would find myself trying to solve a problem by forcing it into a yes or no scenario. A big decision for me that I oversimplified at first was should I keep playing soccer: yes or no? I decided that I had to have it all or nothing. But eventually I decided that my question could be broken down. Should I stop playing soccer at this level? Should I stop for a little while, then start again? Does who I play for affect my decision? In complicating my situation I allowed myself to factor in a lot of things I wasn’t considering in my decision prior to doing so. Maybe I could play if I took a more recreational approach to the game I had spent so long viewing as a job. Maybe the game would stop causing me so much physical pain if played at a lower level against less competitive athletes. Oversimplifying almost made me give up something that I have loved for my entire life. Complicating my situation allowed me to keep it. 

[carsonmelichercik]

you can’t go back

I think this is a pretty common thing. I know that instinctually when I screw up I try to balance the scales in my life. Sometimes I’ll be fighting with my Mom and say something I don’t mean. I usually spend the next few days being overly expressive about the positive things in our relationship. Undoing is everywhere in people who want to be good. Nobody who considers themselves a good person will willingly leave something in a state of wrong, when they can just as easily try to alter that state with opposing action. Undoing, actually reflects Newton’s law, which is to say that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Maybe my action to “undo” is not always equal, but it is opposite. 

[carsonmelichercik]

laughing away my fears

I’ve never been good with scary movies. The worst for me were always the supernatural storylines; anything with a ghost. The monsters from these movies would seemingly haunt me as I tried to sleep. That is to say that when I closed my eyes, instead of picturing whatever happy scenario would usually put a person to sleep, I would picture myself, face to face with these monsters, in an empty room. This vision in my head made it quite difficult to feel safe keeping my eyes shut and falling asleep. So, one night, from the strangest corner of my mind, I decided to keep my eyes shut. I had an idea. I pictured the monster of the day as a goalie, standing in a soccer net, with thousands of fans screaming and booing them, as I stepped up to take a penalty shot. I took the shot, and I scored on the monster. The monster was booed louder, even looking humiliated. It’s completely ridiculous. But using the comical aspect of belittling the monster publicly and putting myself in a position of strength, I kept my eyes closed, and I fell asleep. 

[carsonmelichercik]

denial

I don’t think that I have a problem. I don’t think that I allow procrastination to wriggle its way into my life and destroy from within. But it does. And I never admit to it. I find excuses. I argue with myself and anybody else. There is always a reason and it is never me. 

Denial is my way of coping with what I believe is my strongest demon. I have allowed myself to procrastinate so long at times that I have missed opportunities that will never come back. Consider even this assignment. It’s due in less that two hours now, and I am only now nearing the finish line. But I mean, it’s not my fault. I wasn’t procrastinating, I really did need to see what happened next on The Walking Dead. 

[carsonmelichercik]

the power of observation

My dad played soccer his whole life. And I always watched him. Then I started playing before I could ride a bike or read. I wasn’t the best player when I first tied up my cleats (more likely had them tied for me), but I knew I was supposed to chase the round thing, and then kick it. Granted as the years went by I began to take on a deeper understanding of the game through coaching and physical practice. Though I maintain that I have learned the most about the game by watching it. I’ve spent countless hours throughout my life watching soccer games on tv. I even spent two weeks in Brazil this past summer to watch the World Cup. I recently made the decision to pursue a career in fire fighting but it wasn’t long ago that a career as a professional soccer player seemed incredibly likely to me. I’ve had numerous coaches, some of them professional players themselves. But my greatest coach in the game that has consumed the majority of my life has been the ability to observe it. 

[carsonmelichercik]

considering the alternative

Aristotle said that it is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. I read that quote for the first time maybe three years ago. I honestly believe it changed my life. I used to get in very intense debates with family members regarding religion. I was so biased against the entire idea that I never allowed myself to consider that I could be wrong. I had arguments, and they had arguments. Though I truly believed that my arguments were stronger and backed by science, some of their arguments introduced holes in mine. Although these gaps in my arguments didn’t necessarily validate their arguments, it did give them possibility. It was only once I began considering that they too could be right, that I began having deeper more meaningful and prosperous conversations on the matter. If you can’t consider the possibility of being wrong, you forfeit the ability to understand being right. 

[carsonmelichercik]

be skeptical.

Everyone wants to sell me something: a product; an idea; a solution. The media is a powerful tool of which there is no escaping its widespread reach. I like to believe that I do what I can to avoid becoming a mindless drone controlled by what media intends to sell me. They tell me I have to wear shirts that sparkle, because someone in LA did. I don't know, I just don't think sparkles are my thing. I think they look ridiculous and have no place on my clothing. So maybe that facet of media telling me that they know what is going to make me look good isn’t a particularly strong candidate for my trust. They tell me that the food being mass produced for general consumption every day is done so without the use of harmful pesticides. Yet people expose a new use of those same pesticides with those same companies weekly. So why should I blindly believe whatever I see on tv? You can try to give me an answer, but don’t expect me to trust it.