I find the Marxist stance on the family strange and counterintuitive because it is pretty much the only area of society not penetrated by exchange. Marxists themselves will usually admit this but their criticisms almost sound like liberal criticisms that the "exchange of equivalents" doesn't apply therefore exploitation.
For example, here's Adorno in his essay "On the Problem of the Family": "The family is presented with the bill not only for the crude oppression so often inflicted by the head of the family on the weaker woman and especially on the children up to the threshold of the modern age, but also for economic injustice, the exploitation of domestic labor in a society that otherwise obeys the laws of the market..."
So is Adorno's problem ("bill") that... the family doesn't obey the laws of the market? That's the injustice? Very uncharacteristic of him, but that's how it sounds and that's how Marxists generally sound to me when they talk of "unpaid labor" and "wages for housework". Like look at how bluntly the SEP article on "Feminist Perspectives on class and Work" puts it: "Typically, liberal feminists critique housework because it is unpaid. This makes women dependent on men and devalued, since their work is outside the meaningful sphere of public economic production (Friedan 1963). Marxist feminist theorists see this as part of the problem..."
So it's acknowledging that liberal and Marxist critiques of the family are pretty much the same but with different solutions suggested. If you look at the SEP paragraph after, it talks about comparing the total amount of hours spent working between couples, and then exploitation is present if they're unequal, which sounds to me like an ideal of "equivalence". The paragraph even uses the term "bargain" to refer to the arrangement made between partners. It sounds to me like extending the ideal of exchange to the family (or abolishing all remaining relations of nonequivalence, i.e. the family). Am I understanding this right? Because sounds pretty cringe tbh. When I was younger I envisioned communism as extending familial relations to all of society, but it sounds like what Marxists want is the reverse.
it is pretty much the only area of society not penetrated by exchange.
I think this is a popular fiction, it seems clear to me that the family qua family is also caught up in webs of exchange relations, the idea that the household exists "outside" of the sphere of exchange doesn't really map onto reality but is more of an ideological narrative that holds some kind of "social objectivity"
Marxists themselves will usually admit this but their criticisms almost sound like liberal criticisms that the "exchange of equivalents" doesn't apply therefore exploitation...So is Adorno's problem ("bill") that… the family doesn't obey the laws of the market? That's the injustice? Very uncharacteristic of him, but that's how it sounds and that's how Marxists generally sound to me when they talk of "unpaid labor" and "wages for housework".
hm I certainly think this is true of some Marxists, but I think that is just like, how a lot of Marxists talk about exploitation in general (that it is wrong because it fails to conform to liberal ideals of contract and exchange of equivalents). this is sort of the view Marx was trying to rail against (more or less successfully depending on your view), arguing that the conditions of bourgeois freedom are predicated on various forms of unfreedom. this is in part what the "wages for housework" movement was meant to highlight - it was in a broader web of political tactics and not like, an end conclusion. (you can argue that it's not the right tactic and I think there can be a discussion on the merits of that, but I don't think it should be conflated with the theoretical critique).
So while I agree that making "universal exchange of equivalents" is not an aspiration of mine, I guess I'm saying you can't isolate "*the* Marxist view of the family" as something that exclusively points in this direction (of moralizing exploitation as a kind of betrayal of liberal principle that ought to be fulfilled), there are many competing perspectives on this topic as there are with work more broadly.
If you look at the SEP paragraph after, it talks about comparing the total amount of hours spent working between couples, and then exploitation is present if they're unequal, which sounds to me like an ideal of "equivalence". The paragraph even uses the term "bargain" to refer to the arrangement made between partners. It sounds to me like extending the ideal of exchange to the family (or abolishing all remaining relations of nonequivalence, i.e. the family). Am I understanding this right? ... When I was younger I envisioned communism as extending familial relations to all of society, but it sounds like what Marxists want is the reverse.
Yeah I mean, I think this is an issue of defining one's terms, the concept of "exploitation" in the Marxian sense gets a bit wonky when you take it out of the contexts of M&E working in and against the literature of radical republicanism and political economy and examining the wage-relation (the same paragraph also talks about trying to distinguish between "leisure/play" and "work" to determine exploitation, and that is a distinction worth exploring for some questions, but is somewhat alien to Marx's object: "The fact that the worker performs acts of individual consumption in his own interest, and not to please the capitalist, is something entirely irrelevant to the matter. The consumption of food by a beast of burden does not become any less a necessary aspect of the production process because the beast enjoys what it eats."). So perhaps they're using "exploitation" in a colloquial sense or in an unelaborated sense or are speaking in broad strokes - difficult to say because multiple authors (Federici, Vogel, Delphy, Barrett, who I would say all have overlapping but different kinds of commitments to a Marx-influenced feminism) are being cited to different ends.
Your "bargain" objection, though, seems like a misreading, because the use of that language there:
"Since non-market activity does not have a clear criterion to distinguish work from non-work, nor necessary from non-necessary social labor, an arbitrary element seems to creep in that makes standards of fairness difficult to apply to gendered household bargains between men and women dividing up waged and non-waged work."
is describing the currently existing arrangement of how men and women divide household labor under various conditions - which (under your assumptions) would point towards the idea that there are indeed exchange relations going on within the family, which is part of what Marxists dislike about it. Like I think if they are calling the currently existing familial relation that they're critiquing a kind of "bargain," it's hard to leverage the critique that Marxists want to make such bargaining a universal law. get me?
I don't really know what you mean by "extend familial relations to all of society" so it's difficult for me to weigh in on your question, but that sounds unpleasant.
More "procedural" stuff under the cut.
As far as the Adorno quote goes I agree that that's oddly phrased, but because he doesn't really elaborate on that specific point in the essay it's hard to muster much of a defense or attack. but I do think it is reasonable to observe the various arenas within civil society where we rely on laboring activity that is performed under various conditions of unfreedom.
though I think it speaks to another issue I find here: you are also honing in on one very particular line of Marxist-(feminist) criticism I think, which is the division of labor within the family. Definitely a very important critique to many Marxist-feminists, but that seems non-exhaustive of "the Marxist position on the family" to me, which is also concerned with e.g. the family as a site of social reproduction (in the various different senses that term is used in post-Marx literature), as a form of arbitrary power that subjects women and children, as a tool of psychological repression, as a pre-capitalist hangover, the treatment of sexual intimacy as a form of value or exchange, the reliance of society on these forms of unfree labor, and so on
this ties into the use of SEP - I think where you cut the sentence off produces a disingenuous effect, because in the remainder of the section they elaborate various alternative explanations of what Marxist-feminists think is "wrong" with the family (as they said, the libfem diagnosis is merely "part of the problem"). I also think SEP is like a merely adequate resource for these kinds of questions - it's often a good launching point for like broad pictures of debates and finding good sources (as is IEP, which I generally prefer in its detail), but those articles typically aim for breadth that results in oversimplification (often in a way that does damage to the argument for the sake of covering a lot of material accessibly).
I think Kirstin Munro's work on these kinds of questions is really edifying and might resonate with you in some form if these are your concerns.