in “love”, men are very good at imitating the shape of a container but never its content, n this is at the crux of men’s near-literal emptiness
bc men think that the container is the content – stringing the right words together in the right order; performing the right gestures in the right contexts, n so on – n they can get really, really good at this! they can sound beautiful, enlightened, loving
but let me put it this way: U can train a dog to say “I love U” n it will be cute! every time he makes some yelping noise resembling it, U give him a treat – n maybe after a long while it’ll really sound like he is saying “I love U”, n U might even convince yrself that he knows what it means when he says it … or, at least, that he means it [that he loves U] n just doesn’t know he means it when he says it – but the fact is that he wants the fucking treat! n for all he knows that’s really the only pt of “saying” it – say the right thing the right way, get the treat – saying “I love U” has transactional value – I give U what U want, U give me what I want… n he doesn’t even have the beginning of an idea of what “I love U” means, or that it “means” anything at all!
so men view the value of these words, gestures, gifts, time spent n so on as currency to use in a transaction called love – n thru trial n error they learn from U which of these coin pieces are most valuable, n this is how they convince U that they love U n not just what they can get from U (which they conflate for themselves! they think they’re the same thing, n genuinely cannot tell the difference)
but men, hollowed out by masculinity, have relied on women (mothers, sisters, daughters, friends, lovers) to fill them up – they never learned what we had to learn as subjects of femininity: that the question of love is not “what can U do for me?” but ultimately, n endlessly “what can I do for U?” n that those gestures men bend n warp n hollow out to make into coins are actually meant to be expressions of that selflessness – are offerings
n when men are confronted w the truth abt love, abt its roots in sacrifice, in altruism, in martyrdom … that is, in femininity – they deny it, destroy it, or run as fast as they possibly can
annaxmalina
