“that’s how it’s always been in the upper east side, though. everyone thinks they’re better than the rest because they have money. i’m not complaining of course but it’s pretty tiring. we all have so much to live up to. it’s exhausting.” raphael was so tired lately. not because of school or drinking but because his mind would just not stop running. he could hardly focus on anything. he used alcohol and sex to turn it off. he slept with people he probably had no business with, especially not casper. he was terribly off limits. but he needed something, or someone to escape this world. it helped a lot and the sex was really good. he couldn’t say no. even without the sex, raphael enjoyed hanging out with casper. they had a lot in common and could connect on a level that he couldn’t with anyone right now. not even his sister. “it’s actually terrible.” raphael had to laugh at casper’s next comment. “i could be b a l l s deep into something else but i’m not always that fortunate.” raphael flashed a grin in casper’s direction, assuring him that he was half joking. “i was out last night. that’s why i’m late doing my homework. i drank too much and hardly had time to sleep it off. i’m fine, cas.”
“ well you’re right about that. then again... c’est la vie, man. it’s draining but i suppose it’s just the status quo. and if you think about it, at least we’re all in this hellhole together. misery does love company. ” casper can’t help but let out a laugh at that. “ you’d like that, huh ? ” the corner of his mouth lifts up into a teasing smirk, as small as it was. he allows himself that small moment of pretend, almost dropping it as soon as reality kicks in. suddenly hyperaware of the sheer publicness of their current position, he’s quick to look over his shoulder at their surroundings. the point of their secret whatever-the-hell-it-was-going-on was that it was a secret, and casper would much like to keep it that way. he had to. he had too much at stake for there to be any other option. of course, he could always just drop the whole thing altogether, and it’s not like it hadn’t crossed his mind once or twice before but, as much as he denied and denied and denied it to himself and to the world, a part of him felt too compelled to let it go. as long as they’d known each other, casper never would’ve expected for any of this to happen to him, to them, to be roped into something riskier than anything else he’s ever done ( and that was quite a long list, mind you ). but there was something about raph that made him feel... well, something. whatever it was, he couldn’t bring himself to put it to a halt. “ alright, alright. just checking in. i am allowed to do that. ” he holds his hand up in mock surrender, throwing a pointed look the other’s way. “ fun night, i take it then ? and here i thought i was the wild one. hm, hungover, sleep-deprived and cramming; seems like we’re more alike than i thought. ” he grins up at the other male, amused at the latter’s morning misfortune. “ i’d offer to help but, ah, you see, statistics and i don’t get on so well. ”