FUSION BOLT.

IND. PRIV. SEL. Hero of Ideals N from Pokemon Black / Black 2. Liberated by Pluto.

[castleclysm]

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IND. PRIV. & SEL. Natural Harmonia Gropius of Pokémon: Black and Black 2. Liberated by Pluto (he/him, 25+)

N has been separated from people since he was young. He was brought up with Pokémon that were betrayed, mistreated and hurt by bad people...

N's heart is pure and innocent.

But there is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than innocence.

[castleclysm]

@plasmadazzle asked: "Lord- I mean, N? What brings you back here?"

❝ I have friends here. ❞

Blunt as always. Though he sometimes tries to be... for lack of a better word, politer, he picks and chooses which occasions are worth expending such effort on. Apparently, reuniting with a member of Ghetsis's Plasma faction — the faction that have no doubt painted him and his faction as traitors — isn't one of them.

❝ What are you doing here? ❞

[castleclysm]

inbox callll <3

multis specify muse; mutuals only; everything else is fair game

[castleclysm]

it's been a while since I last replayed black, but if memory serves me well the only time N talks at a "normal" speed is in a single counter somewhere outside of lenora's museum, and it's when he's talking to himself

every other line of dialogue is delivered in a speed not available in-game. it's faster than any option you can pick from the settings

[truenoire]

I see !!!

"Trying. Always trying."

She's sitting on a park swing, watching N. They're at a park. She's watching him watch the people and their Pokemon interact - specifically a man who stepped on his Herdier's foot, and is now fussing over it while it tries to lick his nose.

"It's not easy. His ideals... his truths... they're part of him, and hard to change. But he knows he has to, because they're incomplete. At least, that's what I hear him saying."

She looks to the plastic cup in her hand. She finished her lemonade some time ago. It's empty, a tiny drop of melted ice water spinning along the inside.

"He doesn't like gray places. He likes clean, black and white, simple. It's easier. Makes him feel better. Like he can't be wrong. But gray adds..." There's a word. Hold on. "... Depth. It makes things more complex, more real."

"... But I don't think that's right either." She holds up the cup. The light of the sun catches it, and colors shimmer along the ground beneath her, brushing against shadows. "I think the world is bigger than he knew. I didn't know either. But we're learning. Sometimes apart... but together, too, somehow."

She looks and sees the man pick up his Herdier and walk away. The Herdier looks content. She looks back to where N still stands.

"It's hard sometimes. But the more we try... the more we get to see, that we didn't get to before. And then we learn from it. That's what makes it good."

@castleclysm

[castleclysm]

Hello, I just found your blog and I wanted to say, reading your blog posts, that I really appreciate your portrayal of N's loneliness and the aching disconnect between himself and others.

I think for most of us who like this character, that we don't want to consider that gap in socialisation because we sort of want our favourites to be happy. I like that even with his character development there is a long road for him to go, and it would be unrealistic for him to have lots of friends really quick. This is something a lot of people struggle with, even in much better circumstances

I only just checked back here, so excuse the delay in answering, but aaauuuuugggghhhhhh... you're so sweet to me anon

I really like emphasising that disconnect, because it is a massive part of what endeared me to N in the first place. through no fault of his own, he's spent his whole life having this wedge driven between himself and everyone else, and in my honest opinion it is unrealistic to have him unlearn all of that quickly or easily. he does genuinely believe he's neither human nor pokémon, but some secret third thing that will never truly find belonging in either side, and it's that knowledge that fuels the disconnect and loneliness you mentioned. he struggles a lot with "what" he is

I get why people want N to have friends. I want N to have friends

but he's a severely traumatised, very abused and very sheltered man, one who has never experienced anything even close to a "normal" upbringing and was instead raised on manipulation and grandiose ideals of being this king and chosen hero. expecting him to immediately fall into this huge circle of healthy relationships never really felt like the right path for my portrayal

[castleclysm]

N being a grass type fits well, actually

[castleclysm]

Halloween is one of the few days he can lurk eerily in the shadows of the forest and get rewarded for it. He even got a full-size chocolate bar this time.

[danderosa]

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And when you reach the top, don't forget about those who fought alongside you on the way there.

            Maybe they weren't as strong,

             Or as clever,

             Or as brave as you—

                        But they still gave everything for what they believed in.

[castleclysm]

...He's not wrong about the lonely and rejected part, at least.

[castleclysm]

I always love getting to make BW era Ns in these picrews :3

[castleclysm]

N will change what he refers to species as depending on where in the world he is, as he copies whatever language the pokemon introduced itself in. for example, a kantonese squirtle will call itself zenigame. a kalosian squirtle would be carapuce, so on and so forth

the exceptions to this rule are zoroark and zekrom, his two long-term travel partners, as they met in unova and thus have unovan english names

[castleclysm]

N doesn't consider himself a "proper" human. yes, part of this is because of ghetsis and what he said, because he took that freak comment hard, but even before that he's always felt like he's missing that special something that makes other people fit in. it certainly doesn't help that he never got any support or diagnosis for his autism, because he lacks any real understanding of neurodivergence and how it manifests

he thinks differently, he acts differently, he talks differently. he's got abilities that make him different. he has an uncanny appearance (especially during black/white) — ghostly pale and dead behind the eyes. his extended proximity with zoroark and zekrom makes him smell different. even the way he sees/bonds with pokemon is different

N is under the impression that every single thing about him makes him stand out, and while that was once a point of pride, something twisted into justifying his purpose as plasma's king and zekrom's chosen, now it's something he feels like he needs to hide. he wants to be "normal". he wants to be able to fit in with other people. but because he feels like he isn't, and because he feels like he never really will, he's come to the conclusion that he must be something different

neither human nor pokemon, but something walking the line between them

[castleclysm]

inbox callll <3

multis specify muse; mutuals only; everything else is fair game

[castleclysm]

I think the tragedy of N, for me, is that so much of his continued need to reunite with ghetsis comes from the very small, childish part of his brain that just doesn't want to lose his second chance at a parent

he was already abandoned once. and while we don't know exactly at what age that happened, I personally assume it was old enough for N to at least be a toddler. if he was left behind because of his pokemon communication and "odd" behaviours (as my personal canon goes), then he had to have been old enough for those behaviours to manifest

and potentially old enough that he remembers being abandoned, even if he doesn't remember his original parents themselves

so losing ghetsis too? it would crush him. it did crush him

because N's not stupid. he knows about common denominators, and there will come a point where he starts to question if it's his fault people keep getting rid of him. maybe ghetsis was right. maybe he is a monster, a warped boy, a freak without a human heart. maybe he deserves to be abandoned and left alone forever

the only way he can think to dispute that is to make up with ghetsis. he's the only father N has — surely if he can forgive his mistakes and failures, maybe he's not such a terrible son after all. maybe he can even be worthy of love again

[castleclysm]

I like to imagine that pokemon have accents. so if N was to listen to leon's charizard, for example, it'd have a galarian voice despite having been hatched in sinnoh/almia, and would sound distinctly different to red's charizard, or the charizards in paldea

[castleclysm]

abuse tw under cut (it's about the manga, if you know you know)

sometimes I think about those two manga pages in bw2 where ghetsis actually beats him. like makes an active attempt to clobber N to death with that cane and doesn't stop even when there's blood everywhere. like what the fuck man