Cat 3 Pro

I'm a Cat 3. You wish you were this fast.

[cat3pro]

[cat3pro]

Crit woes

This last weekend, I launched no less than 3 decisive, race-winning breakaways. In spite of my blistering speeds, the pack somehow pulled me back in each time.

After extensive consideration, I've decided I need a new ace in the hole - a new way to corner even better, even faster, even tighter.

As you all may know, finding an even better, even faster, even tighter cornering method is no small task for me - for I am already a superlative cornerer (in fact, my cornering is matched only by my climbing, sprinting, and breakaway prowess).

In any case, several sessions at the San Diego Low-Speed Wind-Tunnel, I've found a solution to my corning qualms; by shaving my outside leg while leaving the inside leg poileux, cornering times and turn-in rate can be increased by up to 40 seconds over 40k.

You heard it here first.

EDIT: It has come to my attention that apparently Chris Boardman used to do this. Well, shit.

[cat3pro]

Managed to pack no less than 3 tshirts for my race. Forgot all underwear. Slept in a skinsuit. Does it get more pro?

[cat3pro]

CO2 - because if you get more than one flat, your girlfriend domestique can come pick you up.

[cat3pro]

Now where'd you get that silver chain with them diamonds in it? Where'd you get that carbon frame on which you sprinted? Who them pros you be with when you be ridin' through? Man, I ain't got nothin' to prove, I paid USAC dues, breakin the rules, I shake fools while I'm laying down joules. Tell me who's your wrench man, and how do you spin with ease? You's a superstar boy, why you still up in the threes? What in the world is in that bag, what you got in that bag?

I only speak in KOMs, so I don't really know what's going on here.

[cat3pro]

USA Cycling is the official cycling organization recognized by the International Olympic Committee (IOC), the United States Olympic Committee (USOC) and the International Cycling Union (UCI), and is responsible for identifying, training, and selecting cyclists to represent the United States in international competition.

I don't really know what this means, but I think it means that I don't have to actually enter races anymore. Do KOM's count for upgrade points???

[cat3pro]

My bike is already at the UCI weight limit, and I'm too lazy to go on a diet. Fuck it, I'm getting an appendectomy.

[cat3pro]

How are you so fast?????

The simple answer is periodization, good use of a Power Meter, and a careful diet.

I’ve studied all about this; I’m a prominent member of several internet forums, have many RSS feeds, and have a book by Joel Friel sitting on my coffee table (in case anybody doesn’t think I’m an expert).

Proper training must be periodized. That means there are periods in the training - it’s complicated.

The best way to make sure there are periods in your training is with a power meter. You should get a crankset based power meter, because Powertaps are for juniors and poor people.

And finally, your diet must be carefully planned - but don’t go overboard; Lance Pharmstrong weighed all his food and all that happened was that he lost his left nut.

[cat3pro]

I bought a new rain bike, but I didn't like the drivetrain. I put a new drivetrain on it, but didn't like the wheels or stem/handlebars.

I put new wheels and stem/handlebars on, and then I realized I didn't like the frame. I got a new frame, and now it's too nice to ride in the rain.

I need a new rain bike.

[cat3pro]

[cat3pro]

Dinner.

[cat3pro]

"How far did you ride last week?"

"25."

"25 hours?"

"Miles."

--KOMs don't just ride themselves.