Brilliant Cataclysm

Indie. Selective Alexei Dinoia RP blog

[cataclysmus]

Used him. Like some puppet.

None of these words were ones that could be denied; all painful, and true. Selfishly, though, he found himself feeling grateful as well. Alexei was sure that saying so would only anger the mage further, but it was clear how much she cared for Raven. It made him happy to know he had such good friends. Friends who took care of him when Alexei could not.

“I know what I did. Better than anyone. …And yet he saved me, all the same.” That was the truth, and Alexei saw no reason to lie about it now and dig a hole any deeper for himself and for Raven. Alexei shook his head, a downcast gaze trailing the ground.

“I must have asked why over a thousand times.”

And yet each time, his answer changed.

One moment, Raven claimed that he saved him to make him take accountability, yet in the next, he contradicted himself, proclaiming he wouldn’t let him die no matter what, everyone else be damned. A bit difficult to claim he was doing it for everyone else while damning them in the same breath, Alexei thought, but that still wasn’t a proper answer, when an answer was what Alexei so desperately wanted. An answer to why Raven would go behind his friends backs for him. An answer to why he’d kill a man for him… and one day it would finally come out; what Alexei believed to be his truth.

He didn’t want to lose the last friend he had left from back then. No matter how far Alexei fell… it wouldn’t change how he felt. Raven would continue to hold on for dear life in a desperate attempt to cling to what little of his past remained. That was it. That had to be the reason why that man could still bear to call him a friend. He was simply tricking himself.

“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this in his place, but… for reasons not even I understand, he himself called me his friend.”

[talesofourworlds]

"That idiot..."

Rita shook her head, gritting her teeth. How could Raven just help someone who'd hurt him the way Alexei had? The teenager couldn't wrap her head around it. Forgiveness wasn't something she thought should just be handed out all willy nilly. Not without a good cause! People like Alexei didn't deserve it! And yet...

And yet. Rita knew she had eventually forgiven Raven for what he had done, too. He probably hadn't deserved it, either, but his situation was different, wasn't it? He'd been turned against them because his boss had told him to. Raven wasn't the same as Alexei. The man was irritating as hell, and yet he was someone that had some good qualities. Alexei? As far as Rita was concerned he didn't have any. So why in the name of the goddesses did Raven feel like he'd needed to help the former commandant?

She wasn't getting any answers. Information, sure, as Rita was at least able to start piecing things together in her mind. Things had been chaotic as hell in the aftermath of fighting Alexei. Yuri had disappeared, that apathaea had fallen, and as far as she and anyone else had been concerned Alexei was dead. But Raven, the damn idiot, had risked his life for Alexei's sake.

And he called him a friend??

"But why the hell would he call you a friend?!" Rita couldn't stop the question from bursting out. She didn't get it. Maybe that was a her problem. After all, she only had the grasps of friendship that she had because of the bonds she had with Yuri and the others. Complicated, strange, unexpected friendships. Imagining Raven thinking of Alexei that way? No. It wasn't possible.

But apparently it was. Why else would he have risked his life? Why else would he have saved a man so awful? Rita mulled the thoughts over and found no further answers. Only further frustration.

"I get he felt like he probably owed you. It's because of you that he's not six feet under because of the Great War," she huffed. That much she hated to admit. It was still an accomplishment that she had to acknowledge, though. Not just anyone could bring someone back from the brink.

"But I can't imagine you two being friends. Colleagues, sure. You were his superior and all that crap. What the hell kind of things could have led to friendship?" Actually... should they be talking out in the open? They were in a secluded little spot of Dahngrest, sure, but she wasn't exactly being quiet.

Maybe luck would continue to hold out and things would be fine. She shoved the thought back. Just keep him talking. Figure out what to do from there.

[cataclysmus]

The young mage was asking all the same questions Alexei harbored himself, when all of this was still fresh… and even now. Funny, how they could relate in this sense, at least, both in agreement only in their worry for Raven.

“That too, I questioned again and again.” Alexei would admit with a soft shake of his head. He never felt he’d earned the right to be called his friend. He couldn’t imagine that he ever would.

“I believe that if there were others left from back then, he wouldn’t still choose to cling to me, of all people.” He explained earnestly. “But I’m all that’s left from his past. Those were his words.”

He paused for a beat, gaze settling on the girl.

“…If your intention is to turn me in, I’m afraid I can’t allow that.” His words were not a threat. Not in the least. But he was adamant.

“Raven’s involvement has grown impossible to overlook. It’s better if the world simply goes on believing I’m dead. …As I should be.” And perhaps a part of him had died. Not quite in the same sense that Raven had… but a more inner piece of himself.

“I’m quite aware that my words mean nothing to you. But I truly have no intention to cause any more harm than I already have.”

[cataclysmus]

“I probably could,” An odd proclamation, coming from the mage who would normally strike first and ask questions later. Her tone, of course, was anything but calm, but Alexei would be lying if he said he didn’t expect her immediate reaction to be far, far more explosive. …But, she was a great, albeit infamous mage of Aspio, after all. Perhaps he’d underestimated her and her ability to think rationally, under the right circumstances. That much became all the more clear as she pulled him into an alley for a more private discussion, when she very well could have had him surrounded by guildsmen in an instant. All she would have to do is expose his true identity, and they’d be on him like a pack of wolves.

For that reason, among many others, of course Alexei didn’t fight it. Where else was there to run? And for how long could he keep running? To be found out now spelled the end for Alexei. Accepting defeat was his only option, and so he listened to what the young mage had to say, the first question predictable and fair: how he was alive– followed by rightful judgment toward his past actions. It was so long ago now, yet ever fresh in his mind. How could he ever forget what he’d done? To Estelle, to Raven, to all those who’d suffered under his orders? Such terrible, thoughtless acts that had caused harm and dismay to so many….

She’d every right in the world to stand here and scream at him until her face turned blue. Even if she were to kill him, here and now, who could possibly blame her? Even a court would likely pardon her of such an understandable crime of passion; yet even still, she stood here, just asking questions, outwardly stating she didn’t yet plan to turn him in. Of course, he didn’t ignore the very real threat of being “clobbered”. He might actually prefer prison, of the two scenarios. 

"How the hell are you still alive? That apatheia should have killed you."

“…And it would have, were it not for Raven.” That admission fell from his lips instantly, followed by a soft sigh of defeat. How futile it would be to try and lie now, and to a genius, no less.

“I’m alive only because he saved my life. After everything… it’s quite ironic, isn’t it?” How dejected that empty smile upon his lips must look right now… but it mattered not, for what he spoke was the truth, and that was all that he intended to do in the first place.

[talesofourworlds]

"Huh?"

Wait. HUH?! The old man had been the one to save Alexei's ass? That knowledge was enough to make Rita drop her guard for a moment or two. That... didn't make any sense to her. Of course it didn't. She didn't know the extensive history between Raven and Alexei. Just that Alexei was the Commandant, and that Raven had served as both Captain Schwann and... well, Raven. Two separate identities for the same man. She had thought that Raven would have hated Alexei after everything, but that apparently wasn't the case? It couldn't have been, if Raven had saved him.

So what the hell was going on? How had Raven been able to so easily pretend that Alexei was dead? Sure everything else happened, like Yuri falling off of Zaude and everything with the Adephagos, but surely Alexei couldn't have just been in hiding that whole time. Right?

...Okay. Realistically, Rita knew it was definitely possible for Alexei to just hide. That must have been what the Aspio mage's cloak was for. That part still infuriated her to no end. Those weren't something that just anyone could go and get! Hell, Rita had one of her own! It was a sign of who someone from Aspio was, especially as a mage. Oh, Raven was going to need to tell her everything about that. Since he wasn't there, though, that left her to still wholly focus on Alexei.

"Why the hell would he save you? You used him! And... and turned him against us! Like some... some... puppet!"

"Don't tell me he felt like he still owed you something or some crap like that," she said. What could Raven have owed Alexei? Loyalty? That was thrown out the window, wasn't it? What was she missing here?

[cataclysmus]

Used him. Like some puppet.

None of these words were ones that could be denied; all painful, and true. Selfishly, though, he found himself feeling grateful as well. Alexei was sure that saying so would only anger the mage further, but it was clear how much she cared for Raven. It made him happy to know he had such good friends. Friends who took care of him when Alexei could not.

“I know what I did. Better than anyone. …And yet he saved me, all the same.” That was the truth, and Alexei saw no reason to lie about it now and dig a hole any deeper for himself and for Raven. Alexei shook his head, a downcast gaze trailing the ground.

“I must have asked why over a thousand times.”

And yet each time, his answer changed.

One moment, Raven claimed that he saved him to make him take accountability, yet in the next, he contradicted himself, proclaiming he wouldn’t let him die no matter what, everyone else be damned. A bit difficult to claim he was doing it for everyone else while damning them in the same breath, Alexei thought, but that still wasn’t a proper answer, when an answer was what Alexei so desperately wanted. An answer to why Raven would go behind his friends backs for him. An answer to why he’d kill a man for him… and one day it would finally come out; what Alexei believed to be his truth.

He didn’t want to lose the last friend he had left from back then. No matter how far Alexei fell… it wouldn’t change how he felt. Raven would continue to hold on for dear life in a desperate attempt to cling to what little of his past remained. That was it. That had to be the reason why that man could still bear to call him a friend. He was simply tricking himself.

“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this in his place, but… for reasons not even I understand, he himself called me his friend.”

[heylsgowt]

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[rpmusings-galore]

                   they molded you into a monster 

                        sharpened your claws

                                         your fangs

                                      ripped out everything good and holy

                                  made you howl until your throat burned

                  maybe it’s time to show them what a mistake they’ve made

                          they should never have given you such a  b i t e 

[cataclysmus]

…And perhaps Raven was right, after all. Flawed and troubled as he may be, there was no man in this world stronger or more respectable in Alexei’s eyes than him. It didn’t matter how hard life hit him, or how many times it shattered him to bits. Never did he fail to recollect his pieces and start anew— not even when his whole life had been taken from him. He truly was strong; so much stronger than Alexei could ever hope to be. Someone with that kind of strength couldn’t possibly be done in like this.

— Not in a fair world, anyway.

But there was honestly nothing fair about this world. There hadn’t been for quite a long time, if ever it was.

No. The world as Alexei knew it wouldn’t hesitate to take just one last thing from him.

The world he knew spared not a shred of sympathy as it tore apart everything that held meaning to him before his very eyes.

“…That may be true, but—“ Alexei wanted to believe him, truly, he did, yet his voice grew weaker by the second, causing Alexei’s brows to crease as he glanced over his shoulder once more, just in time to witness for himself how Raven’s head started to droop, and how his words began to drag on just a moment too long. The words that left his lips weren’t exactly comforting in nature either.

“Raven…?” He called out softly, voice quiet enough as to not disturb the other too much as his eyes grew wider with each moment he went unanswered.

Panic was undoubtedly beginning to seep forth.

“Raven!” This time his voice reached a shout, and instinctively he stopped in his tracks to check on Raven before sucking in a shaky, deep breath.

No.

He couldn’t stop. The best thing he could do for Raven now, his best chance at survival, was to get him back to town as soon as possible. Anything else would be a waste of precious, vital time.

“Someone—“ Alexei choked out, the desperation in his voice unrecognizable to even himself as he continued to run as fast as he could through the thicket.

“We need a doctor! Someone help us—!”

Never had he ran faster in his life, and never had he sounded and looked so panicked as he did now. He did everything he could to project his voice enough that any potential passerby might hear him.

[altosk]

Everything felt so fuzzy. . .

. . . like he was floating. . .

. . .on little clouds. . .

　　　Raven began to stir awake back in Dahngrest. It takes him a few minutes to even blink an eye awake, half-lidded with sleepy deliriousness. The fever he'd been battling had gone down, and the pain of his injury heavily numbed by medicine.

He barely registers where he is, he cannot even recall what happened quite yet. Raven still feels tired, like he could drift back to sleep, a tempting mistress. His hand comes up to his face, and he realizes that half his vision is obscured. Fingers touch the dressing wrapped carefully across the half of his face, flinching slightly to the tender touch.

His hand fell back to his side and he let his eye close again. Slowly the memories of the encounter returning from Heliord returned to him, but eventually faded into nothing, and his memory felt so splotchy after getting injured. The memory of his death... was so similar.

But he was still alive this time, wasn't he?

However... his eye— Alexei–

Raven tried to lift his head to see if the other man was in the room. Feeling a head rush hit, and he groaned, whatever painkillers he was on were strong. He manages to sit up on his own, despite the dizzying feeling he felt while doing so. Wished he could remember how he'd even arrived here in the first place, but he guessed he lost that battle to consciousness after all.

[cataclysmus]

What a relief it was to see Raven awake again at last, after that terrifying, hellish incident. For hours, he’d been checking the man’s temperature, reducing it the best that he could with moistened rags, just as the doctors had suggested, yet it took so long for his fever to diminish even the slightest bit. He’d been on his way back with a fresh new rag when he saw that single eye open, a concentrated look of concern filling his own two eyes.

He could only watch as Raven’s hand raised to feel the bandages along his eye, a deep pang radiating through his chest at the sight. …He knew well that that eye would never recover… and surely Raven was beginning to realize that as well– even if he hadn’t heard the direct news himself. It was obvious from the beginning.

“...Raven. Please, try to relax. Don’t try to sit up so soon.” A bit late for that warning, but as Alexei walked beside the bed, he supported the other’s back so he may help him move, and hoped he could at least convince the other to lay back down properly.

“You need time to recover. Don’t push yourself….” Once Raven had returned to his lying position atop the bed, Alexei sighed softly, placing the back of his hand to the other man’s forehead in an attempt to get a read on his temperature. Thank goodness, his fever only continued to reduce. Nevertheless, he would place the fresh, moistened rag atop his forehead once again. 

“If you need anything at all– food, or water, let me know.” He tried his best to keep his voice hushed, knowing how important a darker and quiet environment was for him in this state.

[cataclysmus]

Ah. So she was an orphan. It came as no surprise, truly, hence why Alexei had so easily hit the nail right on the head. Regardless, he wouldn’t press the young girl on the subject. If she didn’t have parents to help guide her, then that alone explained… quite a lot. Her next comment, however, earned a raised brow as Alexei’s gaze followed hers toward the underside of a bench where a small cat did indeed sit.

“You were being ‘shown around’… by a cat?” Alexei echoed her claim, perhaps showing the slightest hint of skepticism. Children did tend to make up the wildest of stories– but was this girl actually young enough to believe in such fairytales? …Or was she just being sarcastic in an attempt to mock him?

“It wasn’t my intention to stare, I was only observing how out of place you appear. You don’t look to be a noble, and I suppose if you’re using a cat as your personal tour guide, I must be correct.” …That came across more condescending than he’d intended, but he supposed in his own defense, she’d been the one to start criticizing his appearance first, complete with the immature nicknames.

[ednaeflowers]

She thinks about prolonging her impromptu role of a naive little girl. Despite his grandpa hair, he's technically much younger than her in human years, not that he knows—but he does seem to know the area more, so Edna will see what else she can define this man with aside from 'old,' 'geezer,' and 'back pain.'

❛  Yes, a cat.  ❜ She nods, her voice dull and flat as she continues, ❛  I was walking around, lost, until it came up to me. It started wandering off slowly, so I followed it all the way here. It didn't seem to like the sound of the giant fountain on the way here, so the kitty wanted to rest here.  ❜ He seems so puzzled, so that means she can add 'gullible' to her growing list of descriptors for him.

❛  Oh, I'm not a noble. Would be nice to be one, though.  ❜ She shrugs flippantly, positioning her umbrella to block the sunlight from her face. ❛  I'm just a simple girl who is following a cat. Nothing noteworthy here. If I'm out of place, then good. A cute girl like me should be more than just a face in the crowd.  ❜ Correction: a seraph like her should be more than just a face in the crowd. Really, he should be paying her respects here. ❛  Better to be cute than old and cranky anyway.  ❜

[cataclysmus]

…Old and cranky, huh? It wasn’t often that he was disrespected so blatantly. Even the knights who despised him normally kept their mouths shut in his presence. This girl really had no idea, and no care for who he was, did she?

“Right.” Alexei would respond simply, unwilling to stand here and argue with a child, out here in the streets of the Noble Quarter, no less. Regardless, he couldn’t exactly leave the job of “guide” to a mere cat, could he? Who knew just how lost this girl would become if he left her to her foolish antics?

“Would it help if I were to escort you instead? You’re looking for your home, yes? Do you live nearby?”

[cataclysmus]

Continued from x - @mistralxsoul

“Of course I understand.” With a sorrowful sigh, Alexei placed his half-empty glass on the table in front of him. Already, he was a few glasses in. He wasn’t normally the type to drink much, if at all– but… with time, came change, and occasionally, Alexei felt himself relying on the substance just to nullify the pain, if even just a bit– particularly in a situation just like this. It was a conversation he’d been nervous to have, not knowing if it was even his place to butt in, or assume anything. Truly, he didn’t think he’d ever been more nervous by the idea of a simple conversation until now, and perhaps it was his nerves that had urged him to drink, and keep drinking, not even realizing that the effect the alcohol was having on him was the exact opposite of what he wanted.

Alexei only felt worse with every passing moment.

“My promises... my words mean nothing now. I don’t expect you to forgive me, even if I’ve the whole rest of my life to make amends for what I’ve done.” Why would he? He’d betrayed his whole kingdom, and with his own two hands, nearly plunged the entire world toward its death. Were it not for Yuri and his companions, he and Flynn wouldn’t even be here having this conversation now. How hard he’d tried to save his people… only to cause all of this. A mistake like that could not easily be fixed.

“History cannot be rewritten. Just as well, my sins can’t be retracted. Surely, even in death, rightful judgment awaits me.” It was something he thought about a lot: death. If there were such a thing as Heaven and Hell, it was quite obvious where Alexei belonged. Even if he were to be killed… even if he had taken the easy way out, oh so long ago, and taken his own life, he wondered if that would even be the end. Never before had he considered the afterlife… but now, it was all he could think about, at times. The alcohol certainly did not help.

“I didn’t ask you here to forgive me, nor do I want or expect your sympathy.” Alexei breathed out, brows furrowing as he himself looked down at the table below instead of at the other’s eyes. “Flynn… I asked you here only to warn you.”

[valiantxunion]

@cataclysmus - Continued from here [x]

The first thing that crossed Karol’s mind was that he had to have been looking at a ghost, right? There was no way that Alexei, the former Commandant of the Knights, the man who had actually tried to kill them and brought the Adephagos into the world… was currently standing in front of him in the middle of Raven’s (Was it Raven’s? He hadn’t been given false information, right?) residence.

Karol could only stare blankly at Alexei, eyes slowly drifting from Alexei’s shocked expression down to the sword that was now pointed at him and, for a scary moment, he felt as if he were about to pass out. By some miracle, he hung in there, if only because he convinced his brain that if he did pass out, he was as good as dead. His mouth opened. And then promptly shut again when no words came out. All thought seemed to cease as Karol and Alexei just stood there.

And then, the floor creaked just slightly underneath Karol’s feet and with that one tiny sound, panic rushed through Karol’s body as he dove back, slamming his own back against the wall. Pulling his bag up between him and Alexei, he quickly opened the flap and began to reach for something, ANYTHING, to throw at the sudden intruder as he SCREAMED as hard as he could. “B-BACK UP!! Stay back!! I-I may not look it but I-I’m plenty strong and– and–”

Pulling his personal cup used for camping out of the bag, he threw it as fast and as hard as he could, just barely missing the white haired man in front of him. “What are you doing here!? Where’s– Where’s Raven?! What did you do to Raven?! This– This is his house, right?! Why are you here!?”

For a moment, Karol’s eyes glance to the door he had come through earlier. He could make a run for it. He could bolt. Run to Harry, get help, tell people that Alexei is back. But for the moment, he was paralyzed in place, eyes darting between Alexei and the door, waiting for the man to make a move.

[cataclysmus]

That ear piercing, blood curdling scream was enough to make even Alexei flinch back with half a mind to cover his ears. No doubt, the child was terrified– any boy his age would be, to see a man like him standing before him, weapon in hand, when he’d expected to see his friend, instead.

Though Alexei made no real effort to dodge the attack, the thrown cup missed the mark all on its own, hitting the wall behind him with a bang, loud, but still quieter than that deafening scream of his. Dammit… Just how in the world was he to fix a situation like this? He’d certainly no desire to harm the child, but just as well, he couldn’t be caught here; the repercussions would harm far more than just him. Raven didn’t deserve all of this trouble. Dammit all. If only Raven had been here, this would all be far, far less complicated.

“Please– keep your voice down.” Alexei’s voice was quiet, soft, trying his best to quell the child’s anxieties, despite the small, subtle steps he took toward the door he’d seen him so carefully eyeing. He couldn’t risk him escaping now– not without first at least attempting to explain the situation. Perhaps he might understand. Raven was… something like a father to this boy, was he not?

“I assure you, I haven’t hurt Raven.” Carefully, slowly he would bend down, placing his sword to the ground where it would surely prove less of a threat. Once he was standing up straight again, a gentle, measured kick sent the sword toward the other, where he may claim the weapon for himself, were that to make him feel safer.

“I have no intention to hurt him– nor you. You have my word.” Please, please let the boy understand. He was in no danger. The only one in any danger here was him and Raven.

“Please, boy– listen to what I have to say. If I’m discovered here, Raven will be in just as much danger as I will.”

[cataclysmus]

"Maybe because it's the only way to get your attention!"

“That is not the—!“ Not the only damned way to get his attention— ugh, this buffoon….

“Is aggravating me really the way you want to get my attention? You can’t just be—“ Be what, Alexei? Finish that sentence.

[rpmusings-galore]

                              every  SIREN  that I was ignoring                                            (  i'm  p a y i n g  for it  )

[landsccape]

[cataclysmus]

❝ this is not the worst situation i've ever encountered but it's certainly up there. ❞

//Karol (valiantxunion) probably said while hiding behind a corner, let's be SO real

Well… This wasn’t how Alexei saw his day playing out.

After a discreet, routine trip to buy ingredients from the nearest market under the usual cover of his cloak, Alexei had promptly returned to his current place of residence, one small apartment in the heart of Dahngrest, in where he’d been laying low for several months with the help of Raven.

With a clear, understandable goal of keeping his identity a secret from all who he may come in contact with, Alexei had made a careful habit never to answer an unknown knock at that front door, lest he be discovered and ruin everything Raven had built for them here. Thus, when he’d heard a light knock, followed by a harder knock at the door shortly after his return home, he did exactly that— ignored it, waiting for whoever stood outside to walk away, as they normally would.

As things would happen, though, the relentless knocking was far from the end of this mysterious encounter, for after a couple of minutes, the lock began to jiggle about, and with only enough time for Alexei to grab his old sword from the wall, the door flew open.

Backing up a step, Alexei stood defensively with sword in hand, but his stance didn’t last long before breaking at the sight of a small child.

Not just any small child, but an all too familiar one— a friend of Yuri’s— one of the many who stood before him and challenged him at the top of Zaude, the same day that his dreams and ambitions crumbled to pieces before his very own eyes.

“You— Why are you—?” …Why are you here? Was that what he’d been about to ask? The child had much more right to be asking that question than he did, but in his presence, he merely froze.

[cataclysmus]

…Damn it all.

Alexei knew that this moment would come eventually.

Perhaps not in the form of Rita Mordio, the most hot headed of all of Raven’s friends– if not of the entire world– but he knew it was only a matter of time before his luck would run out. He couldn’t very well hide here in Dahngrest forever, but truly, he could not have been more unlucky, being found out like this by the infamous, loud-mouth mage of all people.

From the sounds of it, she had no intention of letting him escape, and to be fair, he expected no less, and certainly didn’t blame her for this particular outburst.

Prison… Death…. Whatever option was chosen for him, it seemed a far more suitable response to his crimes than this game of house he’d been playing with Raven for far too long. Surely, even he must realize that, deep down. Besides, they’d both lived through enough by now to know that nothing this good could last forever. He’d always been so painfully aware that it would all come to an end someday, and the realization that that moment came now became loud and clear with one simple exclamation:

“I know who you are!”

Alexei’s steps came to a slow halt, a shaky sigh escaping his clenched throat. It would be pointless to run any longer. The only question left, really, was what Rita Mordio wanted from him?

“…Do you….? …And what do you plan to do now that you’ve found me?” He would come out and ask the question up front, lowering the hood that shadowed his face as he turned to face her.

“Would you have me killed?”

[talesofourworlds]

He wasn't trying to escape her...?

She saw him come to a halt, watched him, and her frown deepened. What did she honestly want from the man? Justice? He had used Estelle like some tool and had been the reason Raven turned against them in the first place. She wanted to clobber the guy into next Tuesday for what he'd done, but now that he was just standing there, asking what she planned to do now that she'd found him, Rita found herself momentarily at a loss.

It wasn't any fun, for lack of a better word, if he stood there like a pathetic, wet dog and waited for what was to come. Sure it had been fun with Raven when all of them were punishing him, but that was different. Alexei was different from Raven, and just about all she had known of him was what she'd been presented with on her journey.

"I probably could," Rita said at last. If she were to alert everyone in Dahngrest to Alexei's presence, it would undoubtedly get the attention of Altosk, if no one else. Altosk probably had more authority than any other guild in Dahngrest, after all. Which meant they could see to doling out punishment for Alexei. Was that what she wanted, though?

Rita grabbed him, the only warning given being her moving forward, and she tried to drag him into the nearest alley. She already probably had drawn some attention to herself with the way she'd been following Alexei before, but that was beside the point. Alexei was her business now. Not the public's.

"What I want," Rita said, "is to know what the hell you're doing alive in the first place."

"You've got a lot of nerve, just showing up like after all the shit you put Estelle through. Not to mention the old man," she huffed. The height difference between them could have made this comical, and probably still did, if not for the serious tone Rita's voice held and the indignation in her eyes. She hadn't known Alexei before her journey. Outside of the brief time she'd acknowledged his presence at Heliord, which admittedly was hazy considering the near death experience she'd had there, she primarily knew him as the threat he'd presented himself as. The man who'd used her closest friend like a tool.

Forgiveness would not come easily from the young mage.

"I'm not turning you in... yet," she said. "But don't think I'm not thinking about clobbering you anyway!" The only reason she hadn't gone ahead with that was because she had questions. Of course she did.

"How the hell are you still alive? That apatheia should have killed you."

[cataclysmus]

“I probably could,” An odd proclamation, coming from the mage who would normally strike first and ask questions later. Her tone, of course, was anything but calm, but Alexei would be lying if he said he didn’t expect her immediate reaction to be far, far more explosive. …But, she was a great, albeit infamous mage of Aspio, after all. Perhaps he’d underestimated her and her ability to think rationally, under the right circumstances. That much became all the more clear as she pulled him into an alley for a more private discussion, when she very well could have had him surrounded by guildsmen in an instant. All she would have to do is expose his true identity, and they’d be on him like a pack of wolves.

For that reason, among many others, of course Alexei didn’t fight it. Where else was there to run? And for how long could he keep running? To be found out now spelled the end for Alexei. Accepting defeat was his only option, and so he listened to what the young mage had to say, the first question predictable and fair: how he was alive– followed by rightful judgment toward his past actions. It was so long ago now, yet ever fresh in his mind. How could he ever forget what he’d done? To Estelle, to Raven, to all those who’d suffered under his orders? Such terrible, thoughtless acts that had caused harm and dismay to so many….

She’d every right in the world to stand here and scream at him until her face turned blue. Even if she were to kill him, here and now, who could possibly blame her? Even a court would likely pardon her of such an understandable crime of passion; yet even still, she stood here, just asking questions, outwardly stating she didn’t yet plan to turn him in. Of course, he didn’t ignore the very real threat of being “clobbered”. He might actually prefer prison, of the two scenarios. 

"How the hell are you still alive? That apatheia should have killed you."

“…And it would have, were it not for Raven.” That admission fell from his lips instantly, followed by a soft sigh of defeat. How futile it would be to try and lie now, and to a genius, no less.

“I’m alive only because he saved my life. After everything… it’s quite ironic, isn’t it?” How dejected that empty smile upon his lips must look right now… but it mattered not, for what he spoke was the truth, and that was all that he intended to do in the first place.

[mistralxsoul]

♡ — @cataclysmus

@cataclysmus

Before || After

Attraction: 3/5 || 3/5

Affection: 4/5 || 2/5

Interest: 5/5 || 4/5

Loyalty: 5/5 || 2/5

Trust: 5/5 || 1/5

[I put Alexei's ranking before the betrayal and then his ranking for Alexei in his "Survived Zaude" verse ✌️]

--

Attraction: Flynn has heard a few people fawn over Alexei’s looks after he joined the knights. Looking at Alexei… he gets it. He gets it more than getting people who fawn over people like Cumore. He can admit that Alexei is nice to look at. He’s not entirely blown away but he looks nice. This doesn’t change Post-Zaude. But Flynn can definitely see that Alexei seems like… a million times more tired.

Affection: Flynn would probably deny it to his grave but the young knight having a small little celebrity crush on Alexei at one point is definitely a possibility. It wasn’t strong enough for Flynn to ever act on it but he absolutely admired the man and everything he stood for. Those feelings have soured Post-Zaude with admiration turning into a silent bitterness that Flynn will keep to himself.

Interest: Flynn held a lot of interest in Alexei. He wasn’t like the other Knights, at least in Flynn’s eyes. It genuinely seemed like he had the people’s best interests at heart. He wanted to know what made Alexei different from the other nobles, wanted to know his true goal, his true intentions. Post Zaude, the interest takes a hit but it remains with new questions on his brain. Hundreds of questions that all trail back to just one: “Why?”

Loyalty: Flynn remained loyal to Alexei, following his every order without a second thought. Even his more questionable orders had Flynn believing that it was ultimately for a greater purpose. Flynn is a very loyal person in general but considering his respect for the Commandant, his loyalty could not be shaken except by one individual. Had Yuri not talked some sense into Flynn, Alexei’s orders likely would have caused his downfall. Post-Zaude, Not that Alexei is giving orders anymore but Flynn can’t bring himself to feel as loyal to the man as he once had been.

Trust: As I’ve mentioned before, Trust is the most important thing to Flynn. If he trusts you, you practically have that trust for life. He saw Alexei’s ideals, trusted in the man more than anything in the empire. If something was wrong, he trusted that Alexei knew the best way to handle it. He trusted that Alexei could bring the empire to greatness, and because of that, Flynn gave his all. Post Zaude, Flynn’s trust will be the hardest thing for Alexei to win back. He understands that Alexei did everything he did to try and create a better world. He respects the man’s love for the world and respects his dreams. He hates the path that Alexei chose to take in order to achieve it.

[cataclysmus]

Alexei knew when he was being tailed; it being quite the easy habit to pick up, after being the victim of an assassination attempt once or twice. It left one guarded, ever aware, distrusting of one’s surroundings and paranoid of every last person in and out of sight. It was a gut feeling that could hit the very second a pair of eyes lingered on his back for too long, and the same gut feeling that hit him now, as he walked the streets of Aspio with a small brown sack dangling from one hand.

Though he may not need worry over assassination schemes anymore, given that the Commandant of The Imperial Knights had been proclaimed dead, his main worry now was in keeping that false rumor alive; in continuing to feign his own death and live out the remainder of his life here, in Dahngrest, as a new person– thus, even now, he felt on edge being watched. It was a terrifying thought, to imagine that just one person discovering his true identity might shatter everything he and Raven had accomplished up until now, and for exactly that reason, he was as careful as ever.

The footsteps behind him grew louder, faster, and the voice that called out toward him was an unsettlingly familiar one. It took but a moment for Alexei to identify that uniquely aggressive tone of hers. Of course, it was none other than Rita Mordio, gifted scholar and renowned mage of Aspio– also well known to Alexei as a friend and travel mate of Yuri Lowell and the Princess. She was one of the very few who were present atop Zaude that day, and thus, she was also one of the few who must have felt all too confident they’d witnessed his death that day.

Yes, Raven had made a sudden effort to step in and save him from certain death, but the rest of his group had surely been too busy making their own escape to recognize who it was he was rushing for, what he meant to accomplish, or if he’d even arrived in time. Logically, it would be easy for the group to assume Raven had intended to search for Yuri. They had no reason to assume he would have put his own life at risk just to save Alexei… when even he himself wouldn’t have seen it coming.

“...That’s none of your concern.” Alexei kept his words brief, not daring to speak long enough that the mage may recognize his voice. Quickly he would turn his back to the girl and pull his hood up just a tad, having grown all too used to sinking into it like a protective shell in order to shield his identity from the public. 

“Leave me be.” He added, beginning to take measured steps away despite knowing how difficult it would be to convince the infamous mage to actually respect his wishes. …Truly, the situation could not be worse. Meeting Rita Mordio here felt like a death sentence.

[talesofourworlds]

That voice...!

He hardly said but a few words to her, but there was a familiarity to that particular cadence that made Rita bristle. How could she forget it when that sort of voice had belonged to someone who had made her closest friend miserable for as long as he had? There was only one jerk she knew of whose voice had sounded like that.

How?! He died! That apatheia crushed him!

The thoughts tore through Rita's mind faster and louder than she could have predicted. A flickering flame burned within her scrawny body, fueling the indignation within her. How the hell had he survived Zaude? If that really was Alexei, and she felt pretty confident of that much now, then that meant he had been hiding out for... the stars only knew how long. Laying low, probably trying to act like none of what had happened actually went down. The thought sickened her.

And he just expected her to leave him be now that she'd caught him? Seriously? Who the hell did he think she was?? Fists clenched. Her taking as long as she had to actually respond had given Alexei a chance to widen the distance between them.

"Like hell I will!" The words finally burst out of her. Rational thought flew out the window, and before long the young mage was following once again. How must the other residents of Dahngrest potentially viewed this encounter, if they were aware of it happening? That was the furthest thought from Rita's mind. 'Reckless' might as well have been Rita's middle name, because she moved ahead with every intent to be just that.

"You've got a lot of nerve, thinking you can use a cloak from my city like I wouldn't recognize it! And now you really think I'm gonna just let you go? I know who you are!"

[cataclysmus]

…Damn it all.

Alexei knew that this moment would come eventually.

Perhaps not in the form of Rita Mordio, the most hot headed of all of Raven’s friends– if not of the entire world– but he knew it was only a matter of time before his luck would run out. He couldn’t very well hide here in Dahngrest forever, but truly, he could not have been more unlucky, being found out like this by the infamous, loud-mouth mage of all people.

From the sounds of it, she had no intention of letting him escape, and to be fair, he expected no less, and certainly didn’t blame her for this particular outburst.

Prison… Death…. Whatever option was chosen for him, it seemed a far more suitable response to his crimes than this game of house he’d been playing with Raven for far too long. Surely, even he must realize that, deep down. Besides, they’d both lived through enough by now to know that nothing this good could last forever. He’d always been so painfully aware that it would all come to an end someday, and the realization that that moment came now became loud and clear with one simple exclamation:

“I know who you are!”

Alexei’s steps came to a slow halt, a shaky sigh escaping his clenched throat. It would be pointless to run any longer. The only question left, really, was what Rita Mordio wanted from him?

“…Do you….? …And what do you plan to do now that you’ve found me?” He would come out and ask the question up front, lowering the hood that shadowed his face as he turned to face her.

“Would you have me killed?”

[cataclysmus]

Alexei’s attention was caught the very instant Raven’s grip loosened around his shoulders, earning a quick glance back as he grew increasingly concerned. His eyes fluttered shut just for a moment as he swallowed down the anxieties that built up and clogged his throat, and with that minuscule attempt at achieving some semblance of relief, he blew out a deep breath, shifting his hold on Raven to make the journey a bit more easy on the injured man.

“…Just stay with me. You’re going to be alright. I’m right here with you.” Alexei reminded him, quickening his pace by just a bit to cut down time as he navigated through the trees and foliage.

“You can rest plenty once I’ve gotten you home. Please… for me, just hang on a while longer.”

…Perhaps he should have watched his words. How selfish he must have seemed, making this all about him and his own feelings while Raven was in such pain. —It was just that the idea of losing this man was quite the terrifying thing for Alexei.

For a man so hated by all— for a worthless fool who’d gone and destroyed any remaining debris of his old reputation— it was a miracle he could still say he had someone left to rely on, after all of this time; a man who had faith him, a man who’d saved him from certain death when even he himself had given up on living, a man who filled his life with such light and gave him meaning he’d never known…. It was an undying loyalty Alexei always knew he didn’t deserve, but one he was unwilling to let slip from his fingers so long as he lived.

He just couldn’t.

A life without Raven didn’t sound like a life at all.

[altosk]

　　　It wasn't like Alexei hadn't shown visual concern over Raven before, but right now his worries had just sounded ever different. How true fear bled through his words, but as if Raven would be so weak to croak from this, even if he felt himself edging on that line of exhaustion. He breathed out a soft sigh and let out a breathy little chuckle, wetting his lips and grimacing at the irony taste of blood. The little chuckle turned into a groan.

❝ ... i'll be okay.. ❞

He really tried to reassure Alexei, even if he was all uncertain himself. God won't let him die.

❝ ... it'll.. take more than this.. ❞

Raven tried to gather the strength to lift his head to survey how far they were from their destination, but a wave of dizziness stops him seconds after even trying. Wishing he could find it in him to try and heal himself again, but those were simply thoughts to his unwilling body. That migraine only worsened the longer it stuck around.

Raven hadn't quite noticed yet that he was getting a fever on top of it all. His breathing a little uneven, especially each time his body was unintentionally jostled too roughly, and he'd barely manage to bite back the sound of pain.

❝ i'm.. i'm gettin' tired.. alexei... dunno how long.. i.. can.... ❞

Raven's words sort of drift off, the pain and exhaustion make it harder and harder to focus. He knows Alexei would probably want him to stay awake but any relief from the agony was inviting.

[cataclysmus]

…And perhaps Raven was right, after all. Flawed and troubled as he may be, there was no man in this world stronger or more respectable in Alexei’s eyes than him. It didn’t matter how hard life hit him, or how many times it shattered him to bits. Never did he fail to recollect his pieces and start anew— not even when his whole life had been taken from him. He truly was strong; so much stronger than Alexei could ever hope to be. Someone with that kind of strength couldn’t possibly be done in like this.

— Not in a fair world, anyway.

But there was honestly nothing fair about this world. There hadn’t been for quite a long time, if ever it was.

No. The world as Alexei knew it wouldn’t hesitate to take just one last thing from him.

The world he knew spared not a shred of sympathy as it tore apart everything that held meaning to him before his very eyes.

“…That may be true, but—“ Alexei wanted to believe him, truly, he did, yet his voice grew weaker by the second, causing Alexei’s brows to crease as he glanced over his shoulder once more, just in time to witness for himself how Raven’s head started to droop, and how his words began to drag on just a moment too long. The words that left his lips weren’t exactly comforting in nature either.

“Raven…?” He called out softly, voice quiet enough as to not disturb the other too much as his eyes grew wider with each moment he went unanswered.

Panic was undoubtedly beginning to seep forth.

“Raven!” This time his voice reached a shout, and instinctively he stopped in his tracks to check on Raven before sucking in a shaky, deep breath.

No.

He couldn’t stop. The best thing he could do for Raven now, his best chance at survival, was to get him back to town as soon as possible. Anything else would be a waste of precious, vital time.

“Someone—“ Alexei choked out, the desperation in his voice unrecognizable to even himself as he continued to run as fast as he could through the thicket.

“We need a doctor! Someone help us—!”

Never had he ran faster in his life, and never had he sounded and looked so panicked as he did now. He did everything he could to project his voice enough that any potential passerby might hear him.