No longer here @cataelysts - Tumblr Blog

Please be okay, I hope you know I think i know you are— okay, I mean. You really don’t need my blessings. Just keep growing, i’m so sorry, again, for barging in on you like this. This is not my right, at all but just,I loved you before and for you to become something so brighter than I can ever imagine for myself, is what’s important. This fondness i have for you, like i said, will last an eternity. Thank you for letting me type this out (unsolicited) and i apologize i had to make you read it.

I think this was the last message you ever sent to me when we stopped talking completely. I guess I should make this my letter to you.

I know you don't love me anymore, not like that. And a part of me is happy about that because for me, all I ever wanted was for you to pursue your own happiness. For you to create art and for the world to consume it. "This fondness will last an eternity", oh.. *** I always had fondness for you.

Ever since you came back to my life now, things are different. I can tell they are. Being very observant, we don't talk like we used too, we don't discuss our interests with enthusiasm anymore, we don't have that fiery connection anymore. Like you are purposefully drawing away from me, and if that is the case... then I understand.

I've changed as well, I didn't think cutting you out of my life would effect me to a certain point but it did in many ways. Artistically, muse, creativity, it was all a loss as it was for you. Love itself, gone. You don't know what you to do a person ***.

I hate myself for still searching you up at times to see how you are, like you did when I didn't know. Sometimes just want to know if I'm in your thoughts still. If your poetry still says it. But I think now it's for someone else. And it was bound to happen with time. I have to accept it. That's life for you! Hah.

I know you don't love me anymore, but question is do I still love you? I guess it's better for you, or I, to never find out.

I wish you can just tell me how you really feel about me. 2020 ver?

This isn't my last letter to you, but it is the last letter that we ever had wrote to each other now.

I miss you so much, is it alright to talk to you? I guess not because I still love you. Sorry I can only drop this message, I’ve been burning out since we parted. You should be creating masterpieces, already. It’s not that i don’t care about you, the truth is I do, care, a lot— uh, i’m just pretending not to feel anything anymore. I don’t wanna drag you down or halt you with this greeting. Let me just wish you well and happiness where it can reach you, and have you acknowledge it, uh, for once.

Oh how times have changed. Now look at you go, creating your own masterpieces. You may not see it, but you are thriving on happiness now without me. I'm pretending too, to not feel anymore. But that's why we are just a couple of fools, because we would rather pretend then open our eyes.