ooh this is a topic I love gnawing on, it's a topic that has a LOT of bite to it.
To me, Bond is an interesting study in contradictions that you may even see as having contradictions within themselves. Cuz like. *points to the internal narration above* I think it's easy to see that and call it "self-loathing," but I think for me, that's not quite what it is + it's more complicated than that.
I think for me, Bond has more of, like. a readiness to discard or put aside himself? Which is sth that def many fics have put in that way, the idea that agents are trained to & also by necessity do discard a lot of their selves for missions esp undercover ones (Smokes & Mirror yes the like situational forcefemming fic lmao- has a great line abt this- that's kind of what I have in my mind rn). This can look a lot like self loathing, cuz there's a similar minimizing of(/callous disregard for, ungenerous dismissal of) the self/one's feelings, but I think the impulse behind it is different, it comes from a different place and at it from a different sort of direction, even if the result can be similar.
The problem with this, like. Setting-aside-of-the-self for "practical" reasons is that it then translates to the like emotional/cognitive level beyond just "as a technique you employ" (use it enough and it becomes habit- it's the like dark mirror of the "if you start saying something ironically then it's inevitable that you will one day start saying it reflexively lmao, so be careful of the bits you adopt"), and esp how it translates outside of missions.
Cuz, in a parallel to like abuse situations, the techniques & coping mechanisms one develops which are very good for helping one Survive, are unfortunately rather maladaptive outside of the field. (Off the Books is a great example of this imo, I think about her (Bond from this fic) a lot, and the like. look inside his head we get in this fic. I have at least couple of other posts where I sort of go into this more I think? Tho here's the other one I can think of right now lmao,)
But yeah basically... I think for me, I don't see Bond as self-loathing, not as a sort of like. baseline default anyway. I think he can have moments of it, and he definitely has a very deep well of Disambiguous Issues lmao :')
Like, I see him as definitely hating the job, and maybe even sometimes if he gets introspective(/maudlin) about it, hating what it's made him (esp if we do a he thinks abt his childhood/who he was and wonders what his kid self would think of him now- there was a fic that had a moment where Bond was thinking sth like how he felt like somehow he'd betrayed that boy, and ouu)
But like... just like how regret is unprofessional, I tend to think self-loathing is too, lol. And actually, Bond's Disambiguous Issues are probably harder to meaningfully address and try to shift than just a straightforward-in-comparison self loathing complex lol :') But also on the other other hand... Bond's flaw is also kind of his strength, like,. this ability to discard parts of self could also be thought of as adaptability, and he's good at nothing if not shedding his old skin. I'm sure like a lobster, after a few sheds, he'll start growing back the parts he's lost, esp if in this analogy I guess I'm seeing to the end now, you've got Q coming in with some pliers at the barnacles on his shell.
