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The Civilian's Field Guide to Task Force 141

So you know how Price, Ghost, Soap, and Gaz all enlisted when they were practically kids? I cannot stop thinking about how that means the military basically raised them, like they know how to dismantle a rifle blindfolded, patch a sucking chest wound, and conduct recon in hostile territory, but put them in a normal house, in a normal neighborhood, in a normal environment and suddenly it’s game over.

Which is fine, whatever- until they get assigned to go undercover in some suburban cul de sac and have to act like normal civilians. That’s when the cracks start to show.

Because they’re bad at it. Really bad. By Day Three you have already decided that the four men across the street are either undercover agents, aliens trying out human cosplay, or the weirdest polycule of gay men on the eastern seaboard. Because how the fuck do four fully grown men collectively fail to figure out how to operate a lawn mower or light a grill without a column of flame visible to the ISS?

Or: A comprehensive log of why your home insurance premium is about to skyrocket.

[The Lawn Mower Incident]

[The Grill Incident]

[The Pantry Incident]

[The Grocery Store Incident]

[The Washing Machine Incident]

[The Trick or Treat Incident]

[The Stalker Incident]

[The Christmas Incident(s)]

[The Power Wash Incident]

mitrielle

Late night talks

scourgie

I think there must be a little bit of a cultural barrier between the cod fandom and british culture cause so many fics have the characters drink different types of tea like peppermint, green, etc as just like a normal thing they have on hand, when most british people, when we say "cup of tea", we mean black tea with sugar and milk in it (depending on one's preference for how many sugars and how much milk)

and most people don't keep different types of tea around and usually only buy one brand's black tea (pg tips, yorkshire, tetley, etc etc)

mala--draws

i present my exception

catcreeper

I present growing up around the Irish. I have two types of black tea in the house (Yorkshire gold my love) and various herbal "there is a reason to drink this " tea. By that I mean, if you are getting a cold? raspberry and echinacea/ sleep? Sleepytime tea/ tummy ache? mint etc. I also have a couple teas I just enjoy like whittards mulled wine tea

pyr0nie

the sergeants grr

outsideyourhousewithaknife

Knitting is great it's just a fidget toy and periodically you get a scarf or some shit

sh4rkt33th

sometimes i cant eat bread because i smell mold even if there isnt any mold on it and the bread doesnt smell just because im terrified of accidentally eating mold like i genuinely break into a sweat over the smell

catcreeper

I do this with many foods. If anything smells odd or I have an intrusive thought. Boom no more of that food for the rest of the day/week.

Incidentally. Bread gives me hiccups.

amazeingartist

well well well it’s mermay again, idk if I’ll make anything new for it but I def want to at least share this sharkmer!soap in full off my patreon cause I’m really still proud of it

sefarlen

Johnny....

morinthou

🔮🎲roll for initiative 🎲🔮 👻ghost as warlock 🏹gaz as rogue (best class) ⚔️soap as warrior 🧙price as wizard

am posting an oldie goldie while working on a ✨new piece✨

mishascozynest

Youre an odd little thing. A worker on base, some kind of maintenance around the archival building, Ghost thinks.

He barely sees you, but sometimes while hes driving recruits around the obstacle course with sharply barked commands, he sees you laying in the grass seemingly focused on the ground, legs kicking slowly in the air.

Only on good weather days of course. Sometimes he watches you fall asleep on soft sunny days right there in the grass.

One day he finally decides to satiate his curiousity and wanders over to where youre currently focused on the grass.

"Wot're you lookin at?"

You flinch a little, not having heard him approach. It takes you a second to stop staring up at him and reply

"Weevil"

Ghost tilts his head before crouching down and staring at the same patch of grass. You in turn also keep looking. Ghost thanks himself for his sniper abilities to spot even the tiniest movements through a scope, since he spots the tiny blue weevil in less than a second as it pitterpatters across grass stalks.

"Proper weevil"

He grunts out and you nod fixated on the scampering bug.

"Proper weevil"

Ghost raises an eyebrow under his mask as you mimic his accents. No one did that, too scared of the Ghost. Hes a little puzzled, either you hadnt heard the rumors or didnt care. Either way it was refreshing.

The next time he spots you staring at the grass he just walks up and asks what youre seeing. It becomes a little routine, a daily little thing he quite enjoys.