Evil Nonbinary Wizard

[evilnonbinarywizard]

The astute amongst you.may have noticed I have not posted in a while. Nor will I be posting. This is on account of the worms

[evilnonbinarywizard]

What are ur thoughts on curser amulets as an aid for spellcasting/general magic usage?

I have no problem with them personally, but I am a traditionalist, so I prefer to cast my magik no catalyst no enhancing artifacts. But that is just force of habit, I honestly haven't tried anything else.

[a-squirrel-wizard]

Person: "do you really think we should be letting adventurers buy potions to swap their gender?"

Me:"I'll do you one better, people should be able to change their bodies to whatever they feel comfortable with. I think we should give every person a potion of true polymorph so they can be whatever they want to be."

[evilnonbinarywizard]

Just learn how to cast polymorph on yourself. Then you dont need to go through buying a potion. It's cheaper, and it doesn't leave a paper trail.

[mold-wizard]

Okay, I'm putting one thing in my wizard tower in the Amazon that didn't really fit in my wizard tower in Antarctica.

A log flume.

[evilnonbinarywizard]

You can afford multiple wizard towers? And a log flume? I this economy?

[evilnonbinarywizard]

Gay people after getting hurt so bad they lose a letter: "Aoi!"

[jettkuso]

Real observations since I started wearing a wizard hat daily:

- Brim is so wide that I stay BONE DRY taking walks in the rain

- Brim can be positioned to block the sun from ever getting in my eyes AND keeping it off the back of my neck

- The pointed top part creates an air pocket, keeping my head from getting hot or squishing my hair as it might in a ball cap

- Hat can easily be pulled down over the tips of my ears without looking dumb, protecting them from wind chill

- Strangers say they like my hat, giving me the chance to tell them that I am a wizard

- When you’re wearing a wizard hat, ALL OTHER FASHION CHOICES become secondary, allowing you to branch out with style

Embrace ego death. Stay protected from all elements. Wear a wizard hat.

[evilnonbinarywizard]

As someone else who wears a wizard hat daily, I can confirm this is true on all accounts.

[lgbtqiatext]

[evilnonbinarywizard]

What about other forms of punctuation? Do they make you less nonbinary?

[evilnonbinarywizard]

Working on a spell, where, after diarrhea-ing, the spell gives you diarrhea. I call it the curse of cyclical diarrhea

[evilnonbinarywizard]

If anything ever goes wrong in your life, anything at all, make sure you remember: it is because of my foul curse

[wizard-shadow-league]

I cast

Obnoxious invincible undisappearable duck that follows you everywhere!

[evilnonbinarywizard]

Thank you so much I love this duck they are my new best friend

[lasciviouslocustlegion-deactiva]

me ugly crying: “you mean this duck will never leave me? thank you” - proceeds to have a full emotional breakdown…

[evilnonbinarywizard]

This person gets it. Duck is friend

[wizard-shadow-league]

I cast

Obnoxious invincible undisappearable duck that follows you everywhere!

[evilnonbinarywizard]

Thank you so much I love this duck they are my new best friend

[evilnonbinarywizard]

Maybe the real evil fucked up sorcery was the friends we made along the way

[evilnonbinarywizard]

LOOK! It says "GULLIBLE" on your cieling!ceiling! This is because of my foul curse

[evilnonbinarywizard]

A eunuch a day keeps the illegitimate heirs away

[evilnonbinarywizard]

(Sneaks up behind bear) I cast Twink Undeath!

A large cloud of smoke. When it dissappears, the bear is replaced by a younger, more twinkish version of himself. He curses loudly

[evilnonbinarywizard]

A wizards power is proportional to the size of their hat. Sir Broadbrim the Brave, one of the greatest wizards of our era, wears a hat the size of a small city-state

[evilnonbinarywizard]

Can someone explain to me why in the fuck the Wizarding Council just banned "Summon Greater Xylophone?!" How on Earth was that spell being used such that it was bannable?

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Too many xylophone parties outside my tower…

[evilnonbinarywizard]

So you're to blame