You're Not Absolem, I'm Absolem.

You may know me as Caleb Poulson or Absolem: the Blue Caterpillar of Wonderland. I am the Editor in Chief of the Storybrooke Times, the Official Newspaper of Storybrooke. Please hesitate to message me if you intend to waste my time. An Independent Blue Caterpillar Blog Tracking: caterpillarcaleb & sapereaudemutatio Teen FC: Francisco Lachowski :) Secondary Teen FC: Douglas Booth Regular FC: Sam Claflin Secondary FC: Nathaniel Buzolic Mun FC: Steven R. McQueen

[caterpillarcaleb]

                        "Care to say that again?" Caleb asked.                   He stretched his arms over his head and yawned.                                     "I wasn't listening."

[alicewasinwonderland-deactivate]

{She called him here to help him clean } "……."        ”…………….”                         “There were  a lot of spiders…!” "You were a caterpillar once—these are like… your people……your area of expertise!” 

[caterpillarcaleb]

Caleb gave her an unimpressed look.           "A caterpillar is nowhere near close to a spider."

He sat down on the nearest chair, crossing his legs.

            "How long do you think you'll be cleaning up here, Squeaky?" Caleb asked, looking at his fingernails. "You still have to make dinner."

[watchtheqxeenconqxer-deactivate]

There’s a master post going around about how to edit. I’ll find it and reblog it! To edit html, you have to click the little gear select html in the “text editor” field.

[caterpillarcaleb]

Ohh, that's sweet of you! Thank you so much. I'm so sorry for being dramatic. I was surprised because I thought the people I follow on my personal were just reacting to the change... but the reactions were justified. I didn't think it was this bad. Haha. But thank you so much.:3

[caterpillarcaleb]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS UPDATE

[watchtheqxeenconqxer-deactivate]

Is it not the worst, though? And it happened in waves so there was this feeling of dread.

[caterpillarcaleb]

It is..D: Haha. I have no idea how to do shit. WHAT DO I DO. Can we still edit the html? Make our text posts look pretty (not that mine ever did but still)? hdklfndsl kfndklf nds Haha. This makes me want to stick to the mobile app. 

[caterpillarcaleb]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS UPDATE

[bybxbble-blog]

"You’re not going to stop badgering me till I say yes….are you?" Galinda finally asked, taking her next shot, she was going to need it.

[caterpillarcaleb]

"Oh how you know me." Caleb grinned. "Come on, get the tools. We have work to do!" Caleb said excitedly.

[annathecutiepieprincess]

"…" Anna bit her lower lip as he called her out, then looked down as she then sighed, "I-I dunno…I mean, as I said, I have money to pay for your stains to be cleaned," She bit her lower lip, "I know that words can’t be forgiven easily…so…I’m saying I’ll do anything,"

[caterpillarcaleb]

"I don't need your money, silly girl." Caleb snapped at her. He really had no use for the girl's services but then again... Caleb smirked and looked at her. "Alright, anything, yes?" Caleb tilted his head to the side. "Do you like animals?"

[watchtheqxeenconqxer-deactivate]

"Well, you aren’t exactly wearing a name-tag, now are you?" Zelda shrugged before digging back in her wallet. Exasperated, she pulled out two more fifty-dollar bills. "You were ripped off, by the way."

[caterpillarcaleb]

"Ripped off." Caleb repeated, scowling at her. "What do you mean ripped off?" Caleb asked. He looked at the money with distaste. "Keep your money. I'm not a beggar."

[notsodarlingwendy]

"I am a woman, but you should always call someone by their name." Names were important after all, Pan used to steal them from people, it was part of how he got to you. "I thought the tone you used made it insulting, and if you are going to be like this… then I’m glad I spilled coffee on your shirt. Because-because you retroactively deserve it!"

[caterpillarcaleb]

"Now that would be a valid argument if I knew your name, silly girl." Caleb rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. He immediately regretted it seeing as he now got coffee on his sleeves. He sighed heavily, letting his arms fall to his sides. "And I was not using an insulting tone. If I wanted to insult you, I would have just come out and said it."

[annathecutiepieprincess]

Anna looked at him nervously then glanced down, brushing her hair behind her ear, “U-Um, I’m so sorry. I-I’m just making everything worse,” Now Anna really had to make it up to this guy, “There must be something I can do to show I am sorry…”

[caterpillarcaleb]

"What exactly can you do for me?" Caleb asked. "Seeing as that you're obviously not from this world, I doubt you have any skills that will prove any use for my daily life here."

[annathecutiepieprincess]

"…It’s Anna," The girl said timidly as she looked at him then eyes widened when she saw that he was looking at his watch,"…I-I made you late for something d-didn’t I?"

[caterpillarcaleb]

Caleb shrugged. "Yes, you did." Caleb answered bluntly. "But I suppose I should thank you. rundown meetings are boring as fuck." He should be there though, seeing as he was the Editor but he owned the paper. His assistant will take care of it.

[annathecutiepieprincess]

Anna shook her head and turned away as she wiped her eyes, “S-sorry…t-there must be something I can do to appease you? I-I really am sorry,”

[caterpillarcaleb]

Caleb looked at his watch and sighed. He was already late, might as well ditch it all together. "What's your name?" Caleb asked, looking at the girl. "I haven't seen you around before."

[notsodarlingwendy]

Wendy took a deep breath. She had a hard time standing up for herself after what Pan had done but… she wasn’t going to let someone treat her like this no. “My name is not woman, I know your mother taught you better than to use that as an insult.” She said in her mothering tone. “Now if you need something you need to express it in a better method. I apologized, now I think you owe me one too.”

[caterpillarcaleb]

"You are a woman, aren't you? Would you rather I called you a man, then?" Caleb asked, scowling at her. "It wasn't an insult unless you think being called a woman is an insult." Caleb rolled his eyes. "I owe you nothing."

[caterpillarcaleb]

                       "If you're here for an apology," Caleb started,                             he placed his bag on the ground before taking a seat.                        "I'm sorry you wasted your time,                                  you're not getting one."

[annathecutiepieprincess]

"N-No I just…I’m so so-sorry," Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared at the man, lips jutted out as she whimpered and stepped back from him. Never in her life as anyone ever shouted at her like this before. It was…scary.

[caterpillarcaleb]

Caleb sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "There's no need for tears, honestly, what are you, a child?" Caleb asked, rolling his eyes.

[bybxbble-blog]

"Thrill, no— pissing off a bunch of bikers, that just might" she replied as she refilled their shot glasses. 

[caterpillarcaleb]

Caleb rolled his eyes again for the nth time that conversation. "Only if we get caught!"

[annathecutiepieprincess]

"E-erm I know, I’m sorry," She then dug into her purse, "H-Here, I can pay for your stained clothes,"

[caterpillarcaleb]

"Did money suddenly gain the ability to make coffee stains disappear while I was away?" Caleb barked. He did not have enough time to go home and change his clothes. He was going to be late. He knew he shouldn't be taking it out on the girl but meh.