Headcanon: Murdoc and 2D Are Super Annoying in Retail Stores
(AKA Reasons Why Noodle and Russel Get Headaches Whenever They Shop Around With Them)
âą They both pretend to use the power of magic to open automatic doors (like this:)
âą Murdoc: *enters the store fully clothed except he doesnât have pants on, while 2D tries his hardest not to laugh*
Murdoc: *casually walks up to an employee* Hey, mate, mind directinâ me to the menâs trousers? Size 29 waist, by the by.
Employee: ⊠Iâm sorry, sir, but the sign outside specifically says, âNo shoes, no shirt, no service.â
Murdoc: *raises a brow and crosses his arms* Thatâs fine and all, but the sign didnât tell me, âno pants, no service.â
Both Murdoc and 2D: *lose their shit right then and there* (Asda Employee Resigned !)
âą During Phase 2, Heelys were in style, so Stu would ride around in his own pair of them around the store (heâd trip and bump into things a lot, much to Murdocâs amusement)
âą Now he just uses regular roller skates that the store sells and makes Murdoc join along with him (the old bastard is clumsy and 2D has to support him the whole time)
âą The two of them throw boxes of condoms and Gorillaz CDâs into other peopleâs carts when they arenât looking
âą They do each otherâs makeup right in the cosmetics aisle (Murdocâs face would def be the most made up in the end because heâd insist on it. Eyeshadow up to his eyebrows, messy eyeliner, clumpy mascara, too much blush, bright red lipstick. A masterpiece by 2D.)
âą Stu gets a bag of bird seeds, goes up to a clerk, and asks them how long it will take for the bird to grow (Asda Employee Resigned ! Part 2)
âą They take the clothes off of two mannequins, and Murdoc dresses one of them as close to 2Dâs style as possible, and Stu does the same on the other one for Murdoc
âą 2D: *taste tests the fruits and vegetables to see how fresh they are*
âą Also 2D: *goes to the refrigerated single serve beverages, grabs a bottle of orange juice when heâs thirsty, drinks half of it, and puts it back in the mini fridge once heâs no longer parched*
âą Murdoc pushes 2D around in a shopping cart with Stuâs gangly legs dangling over the goddamn thing
âą They use rolled-up gift wrap to have pretend sword fights with each other
âą The lingerie aisle would end up being a mess once theyâre done putting bras on out in the open (and Murdoc would walk around the store with a lacy black one on him)
âą Their shopping trip comes to an end when Stu sniffs all the candles until he becomes lightheaded and passes out in Murdocâs arms
âą Murdoc carries him to the car after nicking a Blue Raspberry flavored Baby Bottle Pop and Creme Eggs to surprise Stu with when he wakes up (âYeah, yeah, whatever, faceache. Donât get too used to me being nice.â)
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