“mi dispiace, katarina.” ihsan bit a smile. he always seemed to smile whenever she’s around, it’s something he could help. a crack to his otherwise PERFECT mask. their steps were always a flurry of secrets, how curtains were blown softly by the spring breeze. it was no difference this time, as they found themselves again under the shadow, like children of night, like they’re living a sin. however, ihsan always wondered ( the romantic in him, the boy with his nose stuck behind a book ) how could something so right be wrong ? by the god above, he’d be sinner, he’d join satan himself for he would commit this sin over and over again. like a broken record.
his fingers across her skin, porcelain. their touches chaste, virginal. but the look in his eyes were anything but, they’re passionate. they did not once lied about the embers in his heart, ones he should not even have. but he could HELP it, not when she’s there and the lights of heaven seemed to have fallen down on her. ihsan would be on his knees, praying to her, whispering hymns between her legs.
it didn’t escape his memory that this was the second time it happened. he avoided her. she trusted him. countless nights had he prayed to a G O D he should know by now, didn’t exist, that he could stop lying to her, for there was no grater freedom that to whisper his name to her, and the truth to her. and yet, ihsan was a man bound by his duties, to his country, and to his sultan. and he, to hers and the crown she now wore on her head.
he quirked a smile. then leaned in, pressed a kiss –– the most gentles on her cheek. his fingers on her cheeks, caressing. “i’ve been kept by work and so have you. should i say love live the queen or have you grown tired of hearing that ? ” such CRUEL term, how she came to the crown. such CRUEL man, he was to start that fire. and for what ? she was not happy. he was not happy. the distance between them only grew further. ah, yes. the country.
LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. it had become a repetitive prayer, spoken time and time again. advisors and friends at home had written to her, the same thing etched into the parchment. they spoke of the prayers said for her by thousands of her people at the abbeys, the statues now in progress, the news now spread by pen and word of mouth there in london and across the country. catherine almost wished she could see it. but there was PEACE to be won. and if she was in london, she was not with giovanni.
not that she could really be with him here anymore. not for much LONGER. she was to be a queen-- there could be NO rumors of an affair with anyone. especially a man from a nation which did not STRICTLY align itself with great britain. and especially a man that was not to be her husband, which eliminated every man but maksim.
it was because of this that, although the hall was EMPTY, catherine hesitated beneath his touch. “i have not grown tired of it, necessarily-- it just still does not feel that the queen is to be me. it seems, to me, as if they still speak of another. even though i know they speak of me.” she admitted, smiling quietly. eyes darted back and forth, searching the halls yet again for any wandering eyes. seeing none, but still SUSPICIOUS, catherine took his hand and gave it a small tug. “come.”
a few movements and they were in an empty study which was so untouched that dust sat upon the desk in the center of the room. an apologetic sigh and light smile once more. the princess’s hand rested on his cheek, thumb moving slowly against the skin beneath. “i am sorry for the increased secrecy, mio cuore. surely you understand.” voice is quiet even though they are alone now. “but i am glad to have a moment with you. is everything alright with your work?” she asked, hoping nothing had gone poorly for him. “i have missed you, mio sole.” a kiss, a WHISPER of one, is planted on his cheek, lips hovering for just a moment before drawing back and meeting his gaze. “mio cielo. if this is how it aches to be apart for such a short time, while still so close--” the english princess bit her lip. “i cannot imagine how it will be soon, when we are so far apart again.”
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