♱Catholic Façade♱

Ego Valentine, 26, any pronouns. Desperate, devoted, depraved. 18+ blog!!!

[catholicfacade]

⛧* † ABOUT ME † *⛧

my name is ego valentine, 26, i’m a bisexual demiboy, any pronouns work but he/him is preferred, i have BPD and autism, i’m goth, a leftist, enjoyer of fiction and media, im from new york and speak english natively, learning dutch and danish, i am in fact an atheist and the catholicism is just for show—hence the username. leo ☼︎ libra ☾ scorpio ↑

my blog: 18+, minors DNI, i like, post, and reblog content with fetishes, kinks, and dark themes sometimes so be aware, my blog is just whatever i enjoy and fixate on at the time, and will remain faceless forever ♡ :)

♰ my twitter

♰ my AO3

[catholicfacade]

24 songs...and watch none of them be more than 1-2 minutes each. i'm also worried about "kleinkunst" being a satire/comedy based genre when his flavor of satire has grown so sour for me. idk i used to feel like i knew what he was thinking when he was writing but i'm not sure i do anymore. i appreciate his love of dadaism, the artistic chaos and absurdism of it all, i fear it doesn't quite tickle me as much as it used to. if it's anything like the "satire" of united by music, it's going to fall completely flat for me. anouk and DJ lucas features on the same album is diabolical levels of ignorance regarding those you associate with. and i know he knows about anouk...he just does not care. i mean, look, i always figured he would release zonder jou anyway because what is he supposed to do? just never release it? i guess he could’ve broken ties and had someone else re-record her parts. but also.…if she co-wrote it and sung on the track first he’d still have to give her credit one way or another i'm pretty sure. i still think he's probably unaware of DJ lucas's bullshit, as most people outside of the scene are. but now i'm seeing people on twitter say DJ lucas has had this reputation locally for a looooong time....like 10 years long time. either way, i have no faith that joost would grow a back bone about the DJ lucas situation even if he knew. also putting daan on a track feels diabolical...just in a much lesser way than the last two. putting daan on here is just so petty towards the fans lmfao. i can kind of laugh at daan the tweaker because i understand what made him crash out [twin], but he still said pretty shitty stuff and dug himself a hole with the fanbase. joost therefore collabing with daan on another song is just par for the course when it comes to joosts obsession with platforming people like that. it's such a pattern, it's almost laughable you guys. there is such an outpour of apathy and ignorance within joost that i just cannot ignore and keep hoping he snaps out of. he's already making me regret buying my ticket for NYC, isn't he? i wanted to give him one last chance and i wanted to give myself a do-over at his show to hopefully have a better time than the last time. butttttttt...man...no shade joost, its just so hard to like you lately despite knowing there's a really good guy in there somewhere.

[catholicfacade]

last thing i’ll say: i listened to the album. it’s better than unity but still not my favorite. i felt a lot of old joost sounds/styles peak through which was honestly so fun. joost klein 5 is soooo 1983 and i love it! and medellín is fucking PEAK!

i found a lot of the lyrics [that i could understand] to be well done, silly, or enjoyably humorous which was nice since my expectations for that kind of thing were low. a lot of songs went absolutely so hard and others were so soft, it was a really mixed vibe.

this album sounds like it will be incredible to hear live, especially since he’s trying so hard to appeal to new communities like a south/central american audience and the audience at coachella.

zonder jou is so so so overrated, despite the discourse surrounding it, anouk just sounds like shit sorry. it’s all screeching. not really screaming or singing, just a whiny, scratching kind of vocals, i don’t think i get it. i like joosts first verse but i’m not going to listen to this song. also the rooftop freestyle actually sounds really good but i’m also not supporting that song either.

i think a few tracks could still grow on me but as of my first listen i put 10 out of 24 songs in my everyday playlist so not bad all things considered! unity took me several listens before i even put more than 2-3 songs in my playlist.

and i know i can’t dig my own grave any deeper but…he said he “doesn’t get trans hate” but why then is anouk on the very same album? i just—i don’t get it, i guess? i’m confused. joost says one thing but does another. like i’m just more confused than anything else. i can’t really explain why it feels so icky to me without making everything worse and making people think i <33 call-out culture. i think it’s fair to say he makes weird decisions but i still love him. im sorry that saying so makes people so mad at me :(( but if i get into it any further i’ll get flooded with inboxes again i’m sure.

[catholicfacade]

oh my god u seriously still don’t get it???? lemme spell it out for u bro. ur mutuals stopped talking to u for a reason. people stopped supporting ur side. i talk to so many people on here that don’t want to start drama but they just want u gone bro. u are the one who won’t move on for some reason. u can’t take the hint. it’s just excuse after excuse with u because u want to play lonely little victim and shi. u crashing out on main clearly won’t get u any support so u rush to defend urself bc there is no one that like u enough to speak up. don’t u see that shit?. u are the worst type of fan bc u have a lot to say on jk when ur worse and u think ur better than him. move on. post about someone else lil bro. no ones on ur side.

right....sorry, i think i've read the room now. this will genuinely be my last post mentioning joost klein.

[catholicfacade]

“all the rational people have left/are on their way out” when people on here tried to have rational discussions about the “great male decline” post, you condescended at them and acted like their perspectives came from being too stupid to understand that your initial reading of the post was obviously the correct one. you can’t act like you haven’t done plenty to alienate yourself from people here.

oh, i know i’ve alienated myself from this community, one way or another, i’ve literally been saying as much for months now.

and look, to anyone who i talked to about that post, i’m sorry if i spoke to you like you were stupid. you were not and i wasn’t trying to be condescending at all. i honestly was just trying to make sure my point was absolutely clear and explained in detail, which probably wasn’t worth it. i also admitted later that day, or maybe it was the next day, that joost was probably not being serious and i see that now after having looked at all the relevant discussions going on, including the ones i was directly a part of. i don’t regret calling that post out at all, just to also be clear, i still think that post contained weird misogynistic undertones.

i probably shouldn't have said that about "rational people" leaving, that was rude, i apologize and it certainly wasn't pointed at anyone in particular. i take that back.

[catholicfacade]

24 songs...and watch none of them be more than 1-2 minutes each. i'm also worried about "kleinkunst" being a satire/comedy based genre when his flavor of satire has grown so sour for me. idk i used to feel like i knew what he was thinking when he was writing but i'm not sure i do anymore. i appreciate his love of dadaism, the artistic chaos and absurdism of it all, i fear it doesn't quite tickle me as much as it used to. if it's anything like the "satire" of united by music, it's going to fall completely flat for me. anouk and DJ lucas features on the same album is diabolical levels of ignorance regarding those you associate with. and i know he knows about anouk...he just does not care. i mean, look, i always figured he would release zonder jou anyway because what is he supposed to do? just never release it? i guess he could’ve broken ties and had someone else re-record her parts. but also.…if she co-wrote it and sung on the track first he’d still have to give her credit one way or another i'm pretty sure. i still think he's probably unaware of DJ lucas's bullshit, as most people outside of the scene are. but now i'm seeing people on twitter say DJ lucas has had this reputation locally for a looooong time....like 10 years long time. either way, i have no faith that joost would grow a back bone about the DJ lucas situation even if he knew. also putting daan on a track feels diabolical...just in a much lesser way than the last two. putting daan on here is just so petty towards the fans lmfao. i can kind of laugh at daan the tweaker because i understand what made him crash out [twin], but he still said pretty shitty stuff and dug himself a hole with the fanbase. joost therefore collabing with daan on another song is just par for the course when it comes to joosts obsession with platforming people like that. it's such a pattern, it's almost laughable you guys. there is such an outpour of apathy and ignorance within joost that i just cannot ignore and keep hoping he snaps out of. he's already making me regret buying my ticket for NYC, isn't he? i wanted to give him one last chance and i wanted to give myself a do-over at his show to hopefully have a better time than the last time. butttttttt...man...no shade joost, its just so hard to like you lately despite knowing there's a really good guy in there somewhere.

[catholicfacade]

Hi! I LOVE your blog, but I'm so interested, where did you hear about rape allegations of DJ Lucas? And preach, YOU AIN'T EVER BEEN WRONG!!!

i first started hearing about DJ lucas being weird after the joost show in NYC. i tried looking up the allegations on a few social media platforms afterwards but it got me literally nowhere, and since the kpop idol lucas also has allegations against him, thats what came up instead. joost recently posted a photo with DJ lucas on jailbreak's IG and tagged him. so i looked into it further and unfortunately the threads about the allegations are short, half-deleted, and from third-parties. most info can only be found on r/godswisdom under a thread asking if DJ lucas and gods wisdom are still friends. again, the people discussing what may have happened are not directly involved, and either say its false accusations that lucas doesn't want to address or its true accusations that the victim wants to remain anonymous about.

i wish there was more info, clear info, on what he may have done. DJ lucas is just some local flop so its not like these allegations are widespread and i doubt any victims want their stories widespread, which i can respect. especially not after it seems like its been years since it happened. i think joost is either unaware that there are allegations against DJ lucas, or maybe he believes they're false for one reason or another. idk. but if anyone knows more about this, i'd love to have a better understanding of the situation. because i can, in fact, be wrong.

[catholicfacade]

4k crash out 😭

many such cases...

[catholicfacade]

I think people are just disappointed that you won’t post your fic :( Your Blog was better when you just focused on that :( You don’t seem like you’re enjoying the community anymore and you’re not really giving us a reason to follow your Blog anymore :( sorry I am unfollowing unles you write again :(

im sorry, i really wish i could take it all back and make everyone forget about it......i really wish that..........but those wips are already published. as much as i deeply love my fic and still write in it from time to time, i dont think its ever getting posted quite frankly. i understand anyone unfollowing me for literally any reason atp. as i feel further and further removed from this fandom, and even joost as a person, ive unintentionally kept my fic closer to my chest---realizing it is truly the only outlet i have left to be judgement-free, open, and unseen by people in this fandom. please know i cherished everyones support, i am just as disappointed as you are and full of regret... the things i would tell myself if it was spring of 2024 again.......

[catholicfacade]

it’s pretty bold to be calling anyone out for bigotry when you yourself are pretty openly sizeist/fatphobic

literally described ONE person at the joost show as being "built like a brick" because they were tall and muscular and using their body to barrel into people, including my friends and i, just to get closer to the stage. nothing wrong with being built like a brick, dont be an asshole and use your size to push people around at a show. i myself am plus sized, the friends that i have are plus sized, i live a life fully and happily surrounded by fat people. hope this helps.

[catholicfacade]

ur a loser. sorry i can’t respect ur “mental illness” or wtv because u don’t respect joost’s. so ur a loser with no friends lmfao it really is ur fault look at ur posts weirdo lmfao.

idk how to tell you joost is a loser too. a loser who means well and has a big heart with a lot of love in it and a lot of poetry in it, but still a loser nonetheless. joost is so lame for working with someone openly racist and transphobic, joost is so lame for being friends with someone who has sex pest/rape allegations against them, joost is so lame for being petty over a decision he made 3 years ago, etc etc etc. to me, with all due respect to his mental illness, i'd rather have no friends at all than be friends with half of the people he hangs out with and actively platforms. idk...maybe if people stopped asking where 'zonder jou' is and started asking why he still hangs out with alleged rapist DJ Lucas i wouldn't have to think joost is such a loser. ***i still like joost, i seriously dont hate him [i have to always make that clear !!!], i just dont think he could grow a backbone to save his life unfortunately...

[catholicfacade]

the haunting feeling of mourning friendships that dont last/change significantly as an autistic person with a personality disorder. wanting, desperately, to not be selfish enough and paranoid enough to think you're the underlying factor in all of it. but also not having any real clues as to why it keeps happening, why its a pattern. there's just got to be something inherently wrong with you. its not loneliness thats the problem, i could be alone forever and be happy. its the changing that makes me so hollow. people change, people have lives, people live lives so differently from mine, people grow more fond in different directions, they're called to bigger and better things and thats that. i know i need to accept that. i know its for the best. other people can accept that. so why cant i? why is it so hard to swallow that down? its not personal, its just life. i just need to keep telling myself that until it feels true. when....when will the grief stop?

[catholicfacade]

doll anon from a million years ago: I coulda sworn they were called click joints. other people seem to call them bend and snap knees. the ones with the soft legs with the joint inside. I've fallen into a Mandela effect. anyway. maybe that term is more familiar?

omg hiiii glad you came back <33 i had a feeling you were talking about snap knees ! snap knees are nostalgic for me, all of the dolls i had growing up had them of course. bratz still use snap knees but nowadays modern barbies have those stiff, non-posable, hollow plastic legs and i really hate them, the quality decline is so unfortunate. but i mostly stick to collecting monster high as an adult now. i still collect some barbies [mostly 90's & 00's], my scene, and bratz with snap knees but i do prefer the full articulation of monster high dolls and deluxe barbies.

[joostglazer]

imagine joost eating u out and his mustache tickling you 😵‍💫 im not okay

hehe yeahh 🤭🤭

i was thinking a lot last night 'woowww im attracted to a guy with a mustache lol thats crazy i need his mustache all over me"

[oldmanpusspuss]

"rpf is for fun" no its not. its for psychologically torturing yourself. its the penance you have to pay for caring that much about famous people

[catholicfacade]

something deeply, deeply uncontrollably, insatiably yearning happens to me when i see this man in face paint...

[catholicfacade]

joining the parade of folks hopefully balancing out any negative DMs you've been getting! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be allowed to engage in fandom how they want to, as long as they're not hurting anyone. It's ridiculous to try and police how someone should be a fan and whether they're 'in' the fandom just because you don't agree with their takes, like gtfo lol.

Also no pressure at all but I loveeeee your writing and if you ever decide to post other chapters for your Joost x OC fic I would devour them!!!

Don't let the negative people get to you, your thoughts and creativity and presence are allowed on joostblr as long as you want them to be :)

i really appreciate that people are taking time out of their day to be nice to me, clearly people have not been very nice or reasonable for a while now. i just don’t really know what more to say, you know?

i never meant to turn anything into a parade in my favor. i posted the hateful inbox just to make my position absolutely clear and not because i wanted sympathy or anything. not saying this is what you’re doing anon, i just mean if anybody thinks they want to speak up in support of me or something, i don’t think that will be entirely necessary at all. i defended myself the best i could and i don’t have anything else to say about it right now.

i hope that doesn’t make me sound ungrateful because i am grateful, it’s nice to remember that a lot of people are capable of being normal and rational in this fandom. having no one to talk to about my joost hyperfixation is extremely isolating at times and it becomes even more isolating when i give my opinions and people just want to spam nasty things in my inbox. i’m grateful for the reminder that there’s at least a few people out there willing to be normal about perfectly fair discussions without jumping down my throat.

with peace and love, i hope you understand that i just kind of want to drop the topic altogether now :))

as for my fic…i don’t know…i said recently that i don’t really plan on posting my writing anymore. i really hate being a disappointment but that’s exactly how i feel after over a years worth of work has been put into my fic and it’s still not even halfway done and likely will never be seen. i was just updating my files the other day and i decided to do a total word count because i was curious. currently that fic is sitting at 51k+ words and over 20 chapters. yet not a single one is finished. at this rate even if i post one or two chapters, you’ll never end up with the finished fic in it’s entirety. that is, in my opinion, not even worth putting out. like i probably should’ve never shared the wips to begin with because i always figured this was going to happen. every single fanfiction i’ve ever written has ended up in limbo at some point, never to be finished, because i just cannot seem to ever finish writing before my hyperfixation goes away. i don’t want to post things that are unfinished. the encouragement i received on my wips really helped me, but i can’t just keep posting snippet after snippet after snippet with no follow-through. that feels so wrong. sooooo idk man, i’m just really sorry. maybe one day i’ll upload everything that’s half-finished and never talk about it again.

[catholicfacade]

"what do i need to do?" suck my dick bitch "i will do it uhh dont you worry!" suck my dick bitch "trust me, i will do it bruv" this is like....his fifth time now admitting to wanting to suck dick ??? and each time it seems more and more genuine???? whatever mannnnnn !!!

[vid credit: emilyonvinyl on tik tok]