Heyyyy

They/them 🌼 I don't really post

[positive-percy]

General Wellness Check

When was the last time you ate or drank something? If it’s been a while (my self-standards are 5-6 hours for food and 1-2 hours for water), please make an effort to get some.

When was the last time you moved? If you’ve been in one position for a while, I suggest perhaps walking around the room a little, moving to a different spot, adjusting the way you’re sitting, or even just stretching your arms.

Are you able to get some fresh air? Is it safe and viable for you to open a window a little or step outside for a moment? If not, may I suggest lighting a nicely scented candle?

How’s your hygiene? If it’s been longer than you’d like, please make a commitment to take care of it soon!

When was the last time you spoke with someone you care about? Consider reaching out to them, and letting them know they’re in your thoughts.

Have you been interacting with things that are damaging to your mental well-being? If you are, please stop! Purposefully interacting with things that cause you emotional or physical distress is incredibly unhealthy, and a form of self-harm.

Do you need to take your medication? If so, please take it.

Are you holding tension in your jaw and shoulders? Relax it.

Remember that you are important. You have infinite value, simply because you exist. I’m grateful to have you here on this planet with me. You deserve to take care of yourself. You deserve to be happy.

[chantilly-rose]

My blog may be triggering to some people.  It does share my struggles with an eating disorder. 

Please use caution when viewing the content of my blog! 

I do not promote eating disorders of any kind, and I encourage recovery!

Please take a moment to do a general wellness check-in with yourself, and use one of the numbers below if you need support.

If you need help please reach out to:

USA Hotlines

Depression Hotline:[phone]

Suicide Hotline:[phone]

LifeLine:1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project:1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support:1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline:[phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault:1-800-656-4673

Grief Support:1-650-321-5272

Runaway:1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse:1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem):08457909090 

e-mail [email protected]

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem):08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information):0300 123 3393 

e-mail: [email protected]

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice):0300 466 6463 

[email protected]

 eating disorder support:0845 634 14 14 

only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

e-mail: [email protected] 

youthline:08456347650 

open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm

(or under 25’s with eating disorders

Cruse Bereavement Care:08444779400 

e-mail: [email protected]

Frank (information and advice on drugs):0800776600

Drinkline:0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales:0808 802 9999 1

open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm

e-mail [email protected]

Rape Crisis Scotland:08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

Other Countries Help Lines

India Self Harm Hotline:[phone]

India Suicide Helpline:022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada):1-800-668-6868, 

Free and available 24/7suicide hotlines;

Argentina:54-0223-493-0430 Australia:13-11-14 Austria:01-713-3374 Barbados:429-9999 Belgium:106 Botswana:391-1270 Brazil:21-233-9191 China:852-2382-0000 Hong Kong:2389-2222 Costa Rica:606-253-5439 Croatia:01-4833-888 Cyprus:357-77-77-72-67 Czech Republic:222-580-697, 476-701-908 Denmark:70-201-201 Egypt:762-1602 Estonia:6-558-088 Finland:040-5032199 France:01-45-39-4000 Germany:0800-181-0721 Greece:1018 Guatemala:502-234-1239 Holland:0900-0767 Honduras:504-237-3623 Hungary:06-80-820-111 Iceland:44-0-8457-90-90-90 India:022 2754 6669 Israel:09-8892333 Italy:06-705-4444 Japan:3-5286-9090 Latvia:6722-2922, 2772-2292 Malaysia:03-756-8144 Singapore:1-800-221-4444 Mexico:525-510-2550 Netherlands:0900-0767 New Zealand:4-473-9739 New Guinea:675-326-0011 Nicaragua:505-268-6171 Norway:47-815-33-300 Philippines:02-896-9191 Poland:52-70-000 Portugal:239-72-10-10 Russia:8-20-222-82-10 Spain:91-459-00-50 South Africa:0861-322-322 South Korea:2-715-8600 Sweden:031-711-2400 Switzerland:143 Taiwan:0800-788-995 Thailand:02-249-9977 Trinidad and Tobago:868-645-2800 Ukraine:0487-327715

[cherubmilk-deactivated20240729]

[aeris-poetry]

skinny

when I was dying

I think it is really fucked up

to start a sentence like this

everyone complimented me

on slowly turning to ashes

'You look so pretty dear'

they said

and I heard

'try harder'

when someone is suffering

from lung cancer

You don't light them a cigarette

You don't

You do not hand a suicidal person

a loaded gun

unless you want them to die

so why did you?

why did you handed me a gun?

what was I supposed to do with it?

besides pulling the trigger

when you are sixteen

and at some point

we all are

nothing is as easy as dying

without anyone noticing

dying isn't like it is in the movies

a 60 second sequel

with blood and wounds and lots of noise

it is a quiet long-term-process

You do not recognise the dead

-aeris

[luntfontanne]

do you ever think about chuck palahniuk writing “we don’t have a great war in our generation, or a great depression… the great depression is our lives” in the early 1990s as a young gay man living in america at the peak of the aids epidemic

[luntfontanne]

like i know the main thing i’ve seen people talk about is the obvious homoeroticism between the narrator and tyler and, y’know, how a fight club is the epitome of constructing intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men BUT if you think about it in the context of the time palahniuk was living in as a gay man there is SO much more to it than that

he wrote a book that’s all about grappling with death and pain and wanting to take them into your own hands… literally the first line of the book ends with “the first step to eternal life is you have to die.” it’s the narrator visiting all these different support groups for different diseases like cancers and blood parasites as a ~tourist in order to feel healthy and alive and free (note: most people who died of aids didn’t die of the virus itself but of opportunistic infections and aids-related cancers). it’s about how “on a long enough time line, everyone’s survival rate drops to zero.” like yes it’s intricate rituals, but it’s very specifically men sharing bodily fluids and blood. it’s about reclaiming death and using it as a symbol.

it’s about feeling abandoned and forgotten and ignored by the establishment and wanting to burn everything down because of that, about an entire generation of gay men trapped in a great spiritual depression, waging a war, a revolution, for their lives but one that was not acknowledged publicly for years while they suffered. it’s about living double lives, becoming someone Different under the cover of darkness, someone Stronger and Braver who could rage against the system the way you never even dreamed of doing in the daylight

it’s about being a member of A Club (where the initiation is a kiss that burns your skin) that exists everywhere and nowhere, and being able to immediately pick out someone else who’s In The Club just by looking at them even though no one around you has a clue, and you just nod at each other and acknowledge your shared experience and save your actual interactions for secret back rooms and basements—except pretty soon other people can tell there’s something Unsavory going on with you because you start exhibiting physical signs that you can’t hide anymore including bloody lesions on your face.

it’s about “only in death will we have our own names since only in death are we no longer part of the effort. In death we become heroes” + david wojnarowicz wearing a jacket in 1988 that said “if i die of aids – forget burial – just drop my body on the steps of the fda”. it’s about “his name is robert paulson and he is fortyeight years old. his name is robert paulson, and robert paulson will be fortyeight years old, forever” + this panel from the AIDS memorial quilt that reads “my name is duane kearns puryear. i was born on december 20, 1964. i was diagnosed with aids on september 7, 1987 at 4:45 pm. i was 22 years old. sometimes, it makes me very sad. i made this panel myself. if you are reading it, i am dead.”

literally every line of this book (and the film) mean More if you read it through this lens. “you aren’t your name. you aren’t your family. … everything you ever love will reject you or die.” taking the sentence “i am the toxic waste byproduct of God’s creation” that is the worst thing anyone could fear about themselves (and like.. it’s literally homophobia. especially re: gay men during the aids crisis) and weaponizing it because it means you have nothing to lose. tyler saying fuck the police and telling the police commissioner that “the people you’re trying to step on, we’re everyone you depend on. we’re the people who do your laundry and cook your food and serve your dinner. we make your bed. we guard you while you’re asleep.”

anyways it’s not just homoerotic, it’s gay in a very specific way grounded very specifically in the moment in time when it was written and in the generational trauma of the aids crisis thanks for coming to my ted talk

[sweetcherryslim]

Chicken Stroganoff - 256 kcal/43g protein

Servings: 4 - 256kcal/43g protein per serving

600 g / 1.2 lb chicken breasts (mini chicken breasts/chicken tenders)

Salt and pepper

Low calorie cooking spray (I used Fry Light)

1 onion , finely diced

2 garlic cloves , minced

300 g | 10oz white mushrooms , sliced

1 tbsp flour

500 ml | 2 cups beef stock , from a stock cube

1 tbsp Dijon mustard

150 g | ⅔ cup fat-free Quark cheese

1 tsp Worcestershire sauce

2 tbsp chopped parsley

1. Season the chicken with salt and pepper on both sides.

2. Spray a large skillet or frying pan with low calorie cooking spray.

3. Heat the pan and cook the chicken for 3 minutes per side over medium heat. If the pan gets very dry add a small splash of the stock. Set the chicken aside.

4. Deglaze the pan with a splash of beef stock and turn heat down to medium high. Add the onions and cook for 5 minutes.

5. Stir in the garlic and then add the mushrooms. Cook the mushrooms, stirring, until golden about 5 minutes.

6. Add the flour and cook, stirring, for a minute.

7. Pour in the remaining beef stock and stir to combine. Lower the heat to a simmer. Stir in the mustard, Worcestershire sauce and add the Quark. Stir until combined, I used a small balloon whisk to do this.

8. Bring to simmer again and cook over low heat for 3 minutes until sauce is slightly reduced.

9. Add chicken back in and continue to simmer for 5 minutes until chicken is cooked through.

10. Add chopped parsley and check the seasoning – add salt and pepper to taste.

11. Serve over pasta or rice, sprinkle with more fresh parsley.

[anas0ng]

[15beauty-is-pain]

Today's thinspo

[boneypiggy]

More!

[bonesboy]

update on job!! it’s going really well so far tbh, still a trainee but i’m getting used to things. free fountain drinks and the manager is really chill so im drinking assloads of water and diet coke, and i’m on my feet the entire shift so i’m getting lots of steps!!

best part is this makes it REALLY easy to skip dinner which i’ve never been able to do before!

[be-artistic-deactivated20230306]

[be-artistic-deactivated20230306]

[be-artistic-deactivated20230306]

[be-artistic-deactivated20230306]

[n0tthinenough-deactivated202107]

ok so i saw that the most water weight/normal weight i ever gain is from overeating processed sugar. when i'd go over my daily limit it would be only cakes and other sweets, and the next day i'd gain 0,2-0,5kg.

but this month, i started eating 800-1000 calories and not specifically healthy food. i eat bread, cheese..all that "unhealthy stuff" and i never gained. not even that 0,2kg of water weight. no matter how much i eat in a day, if i don't overdo the sugar i don't gain anything :"))

just for context, i used to eat massive amounts of sweets, especially cakes. and now i limit myself to just some chocolate and a cup of ice cream a day.

[diffused]

by stephanieahn

[danishfaerie]

[briarandauburn]

Nuvonu

[anaa114]