Just Ramblings & Reblogs. @catsycakes - Tumblr Blog

11.24.2022

Note to self: you’re killin it, dude.

1- You’ve Lost 30 lbs.

2- You passed probation at your new job.

3- You went to Switzerland and Germany in September.

4- You ran a half marathon in October.

5- You ran the Turkey Trot 10k in November.

6- Your creativity is back. You’re drawing and making stuff.

7- Your arthritis symptoms are basically gone.

Keep it up. :)

3.18.2022

One of the hardest things about making changes in your life is that habits that you are so consistently used to doing are hard to unlearn.

I’m battling two different things: 1) learning to be more active/revising my relationship with food and 2) forgetting about someone that I was in a “one sided love” situation with.

In a way— I’m upset that I allowed myself to lose my prime years of my young adult hood because I fixated on someone for way too long. Not only that, I’ve limited my opportunities to see past that because I didn’t love my body.

I don’t want this to be my story anymore. And that’s why I’m learning to change.

1.18.2022

Things to note:

I have been working at my new county job since 12/27.

I ran 3 miles today - the first time in a long time where I actually tried to run since my arthritis diagnosis.

This year I will be healthier, I will set better boundaries, and I will work on finding a love that is worthwhile.

6.6.2021

I want to be appreciated and wanted. I want to live a healthier life and I want to feel secure with myself and my body.

I’m going to achieve this! I just have to try.

1.7.2021

I’ve been going on walks every day since the start of the New Year. I’ve upped my water intake and have been eating healthier.

I will be a better me and things will go well. I’m excited to see what I can do!

1.4.2021

I’m gonna love myself like I deserved to be loved. I’m going to treat myself like I deserve to be treated. I’m going to happy because I want to be happy.

All of my dreams are going to come true and I’m not afraid anymore. I want to receive all the good blessings that come my way.

1.3.2021

Prioritize the experiences that allow you to access the feeling you want to feel.

1- That feeling of security and warmth. Like their arms wrapped around you while they gently kiss your neck. You both overlook pretty scenery and you wonder how you’ve never felt this way before.

2- The feeling of hot summer nights, but with cool breeze that touches your skin.

3- The feeling of happiness. Your heart can finally soar so high that you don’t understand how you can be this happy.

I don’t know how I’m going to do this— but I want this so badly.

When i think about “forever” with my someone (whomever that may be)— I imagine we would have important dialogue every now and again.

I imagine that they would talk to me about deeper things, and that we would maybe be cuddled between the sheets— watching the rain fall down through the window.

I imagine that all my thoughts and feelings would be safe with them, and they would have insightful things to say back to me. I imagine that I’d always want to feel this way— peaceful, calm, and happy.

One day.

8.6.2020

Once this pandemic is over, I’m looking for matchmaking service. Like, legit ones. I’m ready to find someone who is serious and just get to the next step of my life. 😌

I love you.

In another life, I think we would be together. But I met you far too late.

And honestly, I’m glad you are here in this city. There’s got to be a reason you ended up here of all places.

Because I met you, I’ve learned about what I want in a life partner. And you may never ever know that it’s because of you that I came out. Actually, you’re never going to know. And that’s okay!

Two years ago I couldn’t stand the idea of me never being able to confess my feelings for you because of the situation. So much so, that I let myself not talk to you for nearly half a year for something stupid and petty.

Now, I’m okay knowing that I’ll never tell you how I feel. I don’t feel bad about it because for the past two years I’ve made strides to move on and find someone for me - just like you have someone for you. Also, wouldn’t it be weird for me to suddenly tell you that I’ve had strong feelings for you at one point after all this time? No thanks.

I’m glad we have stayed friends. I’m glad that the feelings I have for you are under control. And I’m glad that I’m okay enough to be a good friend to you (or an “okay” friend, at the very least).

7.2.2020

I’m putting it out into the universe: I want to find a partner who grows to love me, courts me, is a great person, is a hard worker, is empathetic, is loving, is good to me, and gets along with my friends. 💜

6.29.2020

I’ve been dating women almost exclusively for over a year already.

I’m gonna take a break - focus on myself (maybe lose some weight). And come September I’ll be ready to go back into the dating scene again. I’ll likely go back and try to date some men this time and see what that’s like.

6.28.2020

Damn— I haven’t been on here for a year. A lot has happened since then.

I was really unhappy last year with my job, my love life, and my living situation. What a complete 180.

Not that anything has actually changed. I moved out last July, and now I’m moving back in with my parents. But hey, I did it. I dated like.... 5 people— none of them stuck. But hey, that’s life. It’s COVID-19 still — so I’m working in a completely different settting, working from home, and my 6-month probation is almost up for my promotion. I also have a puppy!

And I can’t say I’m super happy with where I’m at— but I’m not in as much pain as I was last year. I’ve been making changes and I’m ready to keep moving on.

7.1.2019

For the first time in a long time I have zero prospects in dating. There’s no one in mind. I don’t pay any special attention to anyone.

Maybe this is the time to work on me.

I don’t wanna be alone— but I don’t want to not be me, either. I have to do this for myself. I have to be alone for myself.

6.17.19

I’m starting to get used to the idea of not liking her anymore. I don’t feel as anxious or sad anymore and looking at her photos doesn’t make me super emotional. I think I’m gonna be okay. 😊

Soon, I’ll be able to get “back out there” and try again.

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