I hadn’t planned on addressing this, but people have taken it too far in the harassment campaign against myself and my server and are now attempting to impersonate me. The accusations being spread by previous members of my isat discord are severe to the point that it's become necessary for me to share my own half of the situation.
In late 2025 my server was engaging in many discussions surrounding racism in fandom and media and what it looks like. Some of these conversations understandably got a bit heated, most were carried out respectfully. As with any discussion involving sensitive topics it’s difficult to know how to handle and no one person is a sole authority on the topic, least of all myself.
I made Apos a mod in my server around this time as he was active and already helping out within the community, but unfortunately within weeks of being appointed they exhibited behaviors and made decisions that were unbecoming of a mod. He was in the mod chat several days a week complaining about something an outspoken black and autistic member of our community was saying, making unsupported claims of harassment that when investigated were revealed to just be this member attempting to correct misunderstandings between themself and others or otherwise speaking to people politely, tone policing discussions on racism, and interpreting everything this person did in bad faith while surveying what felt to be their every move.
The final straw for Apos’ behavior was when he submitted and endorsed a google doc of “evidence” against this server member as actually racist and harmful to the group. Apos refused to understand how this behavior was textbook anti-blackness in fandom (if you would like to read more on this I recommend the stitchmediamix articles on the subject which discusses how scrutinizing and accusing black people in fandom of being “problematic” is used in order to silence discussions on racism). This isn’t to say I handled the situation perfectly either, there were definitely times I made mistakes and should have communicated more clearly, but just like everyone else I am only human and not perfect.
After talking with other people of color in and outside of the community to gain a wider perspective on the matter, I came to the conclusion that Apos’ constant surveillance of this member was sadly unbecoming of a mod in the situation at hand and removed him from the position. As anyone who has ever led a group, part of leading a community is having to make these tough decisions. There was no solution where everyone walked away happy and I weighed the pros and cons of each choice before ultimately making my choice. It was never my intention to remove Apos from the community nor have I sent anyone to harass him or cut contact. You don’t have to like me or agree with my decision, but I did what I believed was best for my community to protect these discussions on the racial issues within fandom.
Apos unfortunately lashed out as he left the server, he posted a contextless message accusing me of being racist for not listening to him before leaving the server. I had to run damage control to set things back to right while sharing my half of the situation, and if he had remained in the server I think we could have had a worthwhile discussion with the group. I did want to talk things out, especially because we used to be friends so I didn’t want to leave things on such a sour note. I originally reached out with hopes to call, as many of you likely also know from experience focusing on serious conversations over text can be difficult and, at least in my experience, I find verbal discussions easier to stay focused on. However Apos requested that we have this conversation over text, which I agreed to, but in order to maintain concentration I joined a call as background noise. He took this to mean that I didn’t care enough to work things out and I can understand how he might assume that to be the case, but I really would have liked for things to have avoided ending here. I have since spoken to other people of color in the server to understand their side of things and how both myself and the community can avoid things getting so out of hand going forward.
I did not orchestrate any sort of harassment campaign against him or any of his friends at any point, nor did I tell anyone to stop speaking to him—I am still friends with several people who still regularly speak with him. Meanwhile they have orchestrated an active harassment and cyberstalking campaign against not only myself but also anyone who has been associated with me at any point, even people they just think might at some point be associated with me despite us never having spoken. I’m a grown adult with a job and a life, I have better things to do than play high school bully.
I only ask for this to stop. I’ve been stalked for nearly a year and harassed for half that. No matter the supposed crimes I wouldn’t wish this constant surveillance, scrutiny, and harassment on anyone. I’m fucking exhausted and, at this point, afraid for my own safety.
I’ve been in fandom long enough to know there’s really nothing I can say to make the people behind this all see me as person again rather than a demon to blame all the world’s wrongs on, but I hope those of you who read this come away with a better understanding of the complexities of the situation. Thank you for reading this is the last you will hear from me on tumblr going forward.
