Heeeey...so, summarized life update!
ok first off, want to apologize to my commissioners for my absence without saying anything, but i can happily say I can get back to drawing again!
little disclaimer, this post is serious with a joking tone. apologies if it comes off insincere and annoys you, need to cope somehow with this fucking circus of our life.
Anyways! Not dead! yet
Let's start with the first, A+ Mental Health!!! Translation, Tier S dogshit~
This started a day before new year and still going. Not going to go into specifics but it involved an openish family secret that I knew and stayed oblivious to for our own sake. Unfortunately, shit happened involving that "secret", and I couldn't do damage control. Everything in the headspace was basically set on fire and became dysfunctional. Self-isolation, end-game thoughts and all that oh-so-fun things that come with spiraling out of control. Skipping quite a lot of details about the descent into insanity because trust me...you really don't need to know.
I don't really like to share stuff about our system. I like keeping our system status private and pretending to be a singlet for some kind of normalcy. This is just to give a little bit of context on where our mental state stands...which is still bad, but we are more or less functional again. I will be going back to using I as one person now, thank you.
Second that also devolves into a third thing and kinda fourth thing? It all mixes together
Injured left hand that it couldn't move, thats fine. Can still draw without it-- NOPE! Here comes chronic pain who thinks beating you with a steal chair is a form of greeting. It's been a year since our last flareup, so that came back in full force. It's a 3-4/10 on pain for now.
Foreshadowing.
Went to doc to check my hand and pain, test here and there, blah blah blah. X-Ray. Results a few days later-- doc wonders how the fuck am I not paralyzed yet. HA! Paralyzed in pain maybe!
Okay yes, going to my chiropractor is helping with the scoliosis. Stupid spine pinching nerves and make everything go haywire. Surgery for correction is not an option I want. Too invasive and risky. But TURNS OUT! the way my lower spine is curved, I should have been in a wheelchair-- It explains the funny legs collapsing but will cross that bridge when I get there.
A lot of this is vague on purpose. Don't like talking about personal things.
That's my life update! Cheers to things getting better unless this is a preview for what my year is gonna be, then I'm royally fucked!