tabs

loving someone is never a waste.

[ccandlehead]

tᥲᑲ⳽. any prns. 𝟖teen. pan. poc. 🫧 i love la. b99. ᴛʜᴇ ᴘɪᴛᴛ. heated rivalry 🏒. dbh. the last of us. slushynoobz. quenlin blackwell. kubzscouts. jacksepticeye. pinkpantheress. billie eilish. addison rae. charli xcx. frank ocean. troye sivan. was @abstabz

requests CLOSED ! asks/thirsts OPEN ! 18+ only, minors stay away .ᐟ masterlist rules

[coolnormalgirl]

yearning for an older woman

[virtualvixen22]

i wanna gnaw on abby’s clit like it’s a piece of gum

[ccandlehead]

i have nothing to say but i want to be here. hello world

I WANT U HERE TOO !!! HELLO !!!! how is ur day going nat ^3^

[bugprinz]

*fly rubbing hands together*

[ccandlehead]

my fav pinkpantheress songs !!!

fancy that: romeo CLEARS that song is Insane

heaven knows: capable of love, true romance is a VERY close second

to hell with it: passion

fancy some more: obv stateside + zara larrson but also girl like me + oklou !! (and romeo + ravyn lenae)

collabs/singles?: crazy + le sserafim, rush + troye sivan, and picture in my mind AND snap my finger + kaytranada

[popepout]

when andrew’s upset with you he doesn’t really speak to you but he’s also too clingy to stop touching you … so you’ll be sitting on the couch ‘n pouting after an argument, and he’ll just come up and stuff his face under your skirt and between your thighs, nuzzling against your panty covered pussy with his nose and mouth like it’s normal … when you angrily whine his name and try to shove at his forehead, he only locks his arms around your thighs ‘n overpowers you, making you shiver.

“calm down, don’t wanna talk to you anyway—” he grumbles, making your frown deepen and your eyes sting with tears that you refuse to let spill. his gaze flickers down to your soft cunt that’s still hidden away and undoubtedly getting messy, talking like it’s a separate person and not a part of his bratty girlfriend, “just checking on my favorite girl.”

[saphicangel]

THE SHAPE OF AN UNASKED QUESTION ೃ࿐

synopsis: the worst thing about hope is how easily it disguises itself as possibility. ellie hears something that makes her question everything she thought she knew.

content warnings: kinda pervy ellie, suggestive content, ellie’s pov, informal style, loser!ellie, lowkey oblivious reader, obsessive themes, nerdy ellie, she is down bad, stalking? high school au (characters are eighteen). next part

entry: the planetarium incident continues to haunt me

it has been three days. THREE. and i am still thinking about her tying my shoelace. i wish i was joking. i wish i could tell you i've spent the last three days thinking about important things, like idk school maybe, my future? the inevitable heat death of the universe. But no. instead my brain keeps replaying the image of her crouching down in front of me, like girl PLEASE. lord have mercy. okay and of course she'd take care of me, remind me again why she isn't my girlfriend??? too many fucking reasons. It's messing me up, she always does stuff like that. and its always the little things that get me every single time… like d'you know she always brings me snacks along with her lunch, because she knows sometimes i forget? She also sends me notes when i'm sick (hand written ones i'm not that easy yes i am), she also texts me after every single one of my tests, to let me talk her head off about every detailed answer.

god.

and she remembers EVERYTHING.

i mentioned once that i liked those stupid astronaut ice cream things they sell at science museums, y'know those ones that are shaped like different space objects- you get it. i mentioned it ONCE. fucking months ago. this morning she just dropped it on my desk and kept walking right on to her class, shit she winked at me too, my nipples got hard immediately. so like she had to have gone all the way to the museum during her free period (i was in a class which is why i wasn't glued to her side), then come all the way back… just to get me some ice cream and not say anything. what on earth is the protocol. someone really needs to write a handbook.

entry: i stared at her for an entire class period

so later in class she sat by the window. the sun was right behind her so she looked all glowy and i spent most of biology trying not to stare. keyword: trying. i failed so, so miserably. and then she caught me, should've ended me honestly, except instead of looking weirded out she just smiled. again. SHE ALWAYS SMILES. why why why why why why why? every single time she smiles at me i feel like a bobblehead. idk the comparison makes sense to me, head empty. just wobbling around. i'm pathetic.

entry: concerning developments

i think she's gotten clingier. or maybe i've finally lost my mind. both options are possible, only one is believable. she showed up at my locker before first period, not unusual i guess. except she didn't actually need anything… she just stood there. talking. about nothing. and everything. some story about her weekend, her neighbour did something funny apparently, i can't remember my brain was spiraling cause i was so nervous and confused- just completely random stuff.

okaaayy so it it posible she just wanted to talk to me? yes or no yes or no yes or no. what the fuck is my fucking problem, this shouldn’t even be that big of a deal, and i'm almost one hundred percent sure she meant nothing by it. a girl can dream though…

hmmm but like she could've talked to anyone — not that i'm everrrr complaining, If her voice were a frequency, my mind would literally be tuned to it constantly — but there were people everywhere, and she chose to be leaning against the locker next to mine, talking to me for twenty minutes before class.

i'm very aware of how hella insane i sound at the moment (or always?), no one can ever read this they seriously won't understand, fuck i don't know. it felt nice. 

entry: worst day of my life contender #47

i got paired with him. HIM. out of every person in the mother fucking class. out of the hundreds of students wandering around this school like confused livestock, i — the unlucky ellie williams — got paired with the one person i've been trying my hardest to avoid. Haven't i suffered enough already universe?

so there i was. sitting across from him (he’s not that good looking), trying to focus on the assignment. trying to act normal. trying not to think about how i've spent the last month secretly resenting a guy whose greatest crime is existing near a girl i like.

i was actually prepared to hate every second of it too. i sat down fully committed to being the least helpful project partner in recorded human history, not enough to get a bad grade though because unfortunately i care too much about school, but enough to make my displeasure known.

except this man had the fucking audacity to act like a decent guy, actually fuck off. i would've sooo preferred it if he was an asshole, because then i could've continued hating him totally guilt-free. instead he's just like an actual human being. i know shocker.

we were working for a while and then he asked how long i've known her and immediately my brain went into fight-or-flight response, keep my wifes name out yo mouth. The conversation was so unbareable, he actually knew her more than i thought he would. when he started talking, i was like okayy?? actually get the fuck outta my face right now. but turns out i'm a idiot, who's surprised at this point? not me.

apparently she tutors him in math.

math. apparently he's awful at math, he’s horrible. which i absolutely did not expect by the way — he looks like somebody who understands taxes. told me he begged her not to tell a soul cause he was embarrassed (I mean I would be too, except I’m great at math so), which explains EVERYTHING.

all those times i saw them together… after class, at luch, while i was sitting alone rotting from jealousy, they were doing algebra. yep. algebra. i was losing sleep over algebra. just took the idiot test and got a whopping 100% yayy. should we include that on my gravestone:

"here lies ellie. spent three weeks emotionally devastated by a quadratic equation." i still hate his ass.

As embarrassing as that whole thing was, it's not even half of what's occupying my mind now. because he mentioned that she talks about me a lot. and i laughed initially because obviously that's ridiculous. and he was like no, and that he really wanted to speak with me cause of it and blah blah blah.

then he started listing the things. stuff she'd allegedly said about me. how i'm funny, how i know random facts about everything, how i always pretend not to care when i actually care a lot (she knows me so well it’s scary). i have goosebumps all over my body writing this, cause this is literally exactly what he told me. I swear i can't fucking sleep i don't even know how to begin processing any of these emotions. all these feelings i have for her. she talks about me when i'm not there… like enough that somebody noticed. do you know how much you’d have to talk about someone for that to happen? it feels insane, god.

there's something weirdly intimate about that, not even in a romantic way. just... she thinks about me when i'm not around. 

oof that's a dangerous piece of information for somebody like me to have, i already started being ellie about it, where i take one tiny thing and immediately start building entire civilizations out of it. i keep imagining her mentioning me in random conversations. the thought of that is making me feel weird. good weird. bad weird? definitely both.

DON'T FUCK UP YOUR FREINDSHIP WITH HER ELLIE !!

gahhh! and then the conversation got even worse cause his ass admitted he likes her — which yeah, obviously. join the fucking club. take a number we meet on thursdays.

it actually felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest having to sit there, listening to him describe all the reasons he likes her and i couldn't even disagree. every single thing he said was true. she does make people feel important. i hate how easy it is to love her, i really do.

he told me he doesn't think she likes him back. should've made me happy, and it kind of did. fuck am i a terrible person? he's literally in the exact same situation i'm in, i know how bad it hurts, trust me i KNOW. I just… selfishly felt relieved that she didn't want him. but then he said he thinks she likes someone else. thank you for giving me a whole four seconds to bask in it before pulling the rug from under my feet. very generous. so now i'm sitting there listening to this guy talk about how great the woman I’m in love with is, who apparently has been noticing things… like there was someone specific she likes. and he said she gets distracted sometimes. like lights up when she gets a text from, what looks like the luckiest person in the world from where I’m standing. while he was talking i just sat there nodding, pretending i didn’t want to crawl into a hole or gutter or something and die.

i haven't stopped thinking about that since. somebody else. some random guy probably. some nice normal guy with nice normal guy hobbies and functioning social skills.

not me.

definitely not me.

because i'm currently sitting here at 1:13 in the morning already four tear stained pages in of my diary fuckin' journal, because a girl i'm secretly in love with apparently talks about me when i'm not around. it's never fucking over is it.

and y'know what makes me geniunely the biggest pathetic loser? after allll that, spending hours listening to a guy rave about how amazing she is, hearing that she probably has feelings for someone else, and feeling like absolute garbage all because of this one woman.. she texted me asking if i wanted to bake cookies with her tomorrow, and I’ve already forgotten about all the pain. She’s my favorite notification — my favorite everything, actually.

i'm going to sleep now, and definitely not to reread all our texts first. unrequited final boss.

— ellie

series masterlist

taglist: @charm3llie , @isaellie , @fettywhopper , @bumasslesbian , @sophislover , @hornyscissorsister , @bamboozlingbamboozled , @favqritefemme , @iloveemory69 , @angelsenttodestroy , @hopefulgirlfailure , @mulan-but-gay , @user77091025

[ccandlehead]

hello who is the sexiest person that comes to your mind instantly. maybe i worded that wrong leave me alone im illiterate

baran . . sorry im so baranpilled rn i crave her

[ccandlehead]

8!

I NEEEED TATTOOS. im yearning im craving i want this one in specific SOOO BAD

[ccandlehead]

13, 14, 15 !!

biggest turn on hmmm when they talk with me for hours and have the ability to hold a conversation. . also when they are assertive / defend me bc i cant do that shit

biggest turn off is when people are LATE to things !! without informing me beforehand !!! like do you not gaf about me why was i here 15 mins early and youre 30 mins late

AND MY FAVOURITE MOVIE IS WRECK IT RALPHHHHH I WILL SCREAM IT FROM THE TOP OF EVRY BUILDING ITS THE MOVIE OF ALL TIME !!!

[ccandlehead]

can i borrow some of ur height im 5'1

LMFAOOOOOOOO Hell nah . i need it so i can be face to face w dennis and anyway 5’1 is so cutieful embrace it !!!!

[ccandlehead]

39 im curious

its vanilla . . Gulps. but im currently obsessed with coconut 😭😭😭😭 ITS BCS YOU CAN PAIR VANILLA WITH EVERYTHING OKAY !!!!

[syrenki]

i have a bunch of disgusting ideas if anyone's interested

[shelbzxcupcakes]

Wanna be nosy? Here's your chance.

0: Height 1: Virgin? 2: Shoe size 3: Do you smoke? 4: Do you drink? 5: Do you take drugs? 6: Age you get mistaken for 7: Have tattoos? 8: Want any tattoos? 9: Got any piercings? 10: Want any piercings? 11: Best friend? 12: Relationship status 13: Biggest turn ons 14: Biggest turn offs 15: Favorite movie 16: I’ll love you if 17: Someone you miss 18: Most traumatic experience 19: A fact about your personality 20: What I hate most about myself 21: What I love most about myself 22: What I want to be when I get older 23: My relationship with my sibling(s) 24: My relationship with my parent(s) 25: My idea of a perfect date 26: My biggest pet peeves 27: A description of the girl/boy I like 28: A description of the person I dislike the most 29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend 30: What I hate the most about work/school 31: What your last text message says 32: What words upset me the most 33: What words make me feel the best about myself 34: What I find attractive in women 35: What I find attractive in men 36: Where I would like to live 37: One of my insecurities 38: My childhood career choice 39: My favorite ice cream flavor 40: Who wish I could be 41: Where I want to be right now 42: The last thing I ate 43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately 44: A random fact about anything

[ccandlehead]

https://www.tumblr.com/ccandlehead/818323475724910592/just-found-out-baran-is-55-need-her-to-grab

bro yesss i’m 5’9 and when i read “baran puts her chin on your shoulder” or “baran pulled you down to kiss her” im like she’s MUST be on a step stool at all times lolll

LMFAOO that kinda height diff allows you to be annoying as fuck by resting your arm on her head. . oh how i love ragebaiting short people

[ccandlehead]

i think i've complimented your theme before so im gonna compliment it again nonetheless. YOUR THEME IS THE CUTEST THING TO EVER EXIST

uhmm actually not factual at all because YOURE the cutest thing to ever exist