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Week 12, Writing Tools Activity #10

The following paragraph is the introduction to an NPR news article covering the mass kidnappings in Iguala, Mexico:

"The apparent mass murder of 43 student-protesters near the town of Iguala has provoked national outrage over the investigation into their disappearance. Political leaders are taking heat for their handling of the case."

I am going to apply tool #36 and mix narrative modes to create a more compelling story:

Eliana Mendez trembles on the concrete steps of the local Iguala government building. She has tears in her eyes and a picture in her hands. "He was so young, so full of life," she says of her son, 19-year-old Jesus Mendez, who has been missing now for over a month. "They took him from me."

By prefacing the facts with an intimate narrative, readers are lured into the news article. Combining insight through anecdote and information through evidence creates a complete and compelling picture for the reader. The differing forms, explanation following narration, provides the facts in a captivating manner.

#writing tools

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defy the gender binary.

Repeat, Repeat and Repeat

Week 11 Writing Tools Activity (#9)

Tool #33: Purposeful Repetition

Original:

I stood in the darkness above my mother. I missed her. She was hidden somewhere deep behind the cruel mask she had no choice but to put on. If she had the choice, she'd rip that mask off and tear the damn thing to shreds.

Revised:

I stood in the darkness above my mother. I missed her- the real her. She was hidden somewhere- hidden deep beneath the cruel, cruel mask she had no choice but to put on. If she had a choice, she'd never wear it. She'd unmask her perfect smile. She'd uncover her loving heart. She'd unlock her arms, hold me in them, and never let go. If she had the choice, she'd rip that mask off and tear the damn thing to shreds.

Repeating words, sounds, and sentence structure give the revised passage rhythm, pace and life. Repetition throughout the passage creates a sense of authenticity for the reader.

#writing tools

"Because" is NOT an Answer.

Issue 4: Argument Beyond Pro and Con

This section of Understanding Rhetoric helped me better understand the importance of incorporating multiple opinions, even opposing opinions, into a single argument. By moving away from a “right” versus “wrong” stance and including and supporting counter-arguments, an argument becomes more insightful, well-rounded and fully developed.

In GSFB, Garbacik includes information that counters her overall argument in each chapter. She addresses contradictions to certain ideas and provides support for each counter-argument. In doing so, Garbacik allows me (the reader) to formulate opinions and draw my own conclusions from a complete and whole source of information.

By providing the ALL the facts fairly and objectively, not ONLY the facts in support of your argument, an argument becomes complete.

Issue 5: Research: More than Detective Work

For me, this section clarified the differences between summarizing and paraphrasing. I always thought they were the same thing.. whoops! When summarizing, review the main points using your own words. When paraphrasing, review the main points through the point of view of the author (also in your own words). Knowing the difference between these two types of source reviews is essential in an academic and professional setting.

#reading responses

TUNE IN NEXT TIME...

Week 10 Writing Tools Activity

Tool #30: To Generate Suspense, Use Internal Cliffhangers

Before:

"Help! I need help," I begged. Tears flooded my bloodshot eyes. They cascaded down my cheeks and into my open mouth. The warm saltiness made me sick. "Please help me!”

"Miss calm down," said the unfazed voice. “Help will be there soon.”

I dropped the phone on the carpet without hanging it up and rolled from my stomach onto my back and laid on the floor. I could hear sirens approaching in the distance.

After:

"Help! I need help," I begged. Tears flooded my bloodshot eyes. They cascaded down my cheeks and into my open mouth. The warm saltiness made me sick. "Please help me!”

"Miss calm down," said the unfazed voice. Calm down? My mom is dying. My mom is dying. My mom is dying.

I dropped the phone on the carpet without hanging it up and rolled from my stomach onto my back and laid on the floor. I laid on the floor with the connected phone, and the spilled water, and the empty bottle, and my dying mother.

The new and improved cliffhanger ending creates suspense in the readers mind. Rather than bringing resolution, the ending raises questions that push the reader to continue on in search of answers.

#writing tools

This Sh*t Is Bananas.

Week 9, Writing Tools Activity (#7)

I once wrote a paper on the unethical treatment of banana plantation employees by the Chiquita corporation. However, I can't seem to find that paper.. If I could, I’d use writing tool #28: Put odd and interesting things next to each other to juxtapose the Chiquita Banana logo, tropical working conditions and the maltreatment of laborers.

Imagine.. The image of a smiling dancer is used to represent victims of human rights abuse. The beautiful tropics where these bananas are grown inherently create an aura of care-free tranquility- but this tranquility is disrupted by gun shots, forcing child-laborers back to work.

Oh, the irony! These opposing ideas would help the reader learn and understand through contrast.

#writing tools

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

GSFB Chapter 7: Queer Theory

In chapter 7, Garbacik explains the underlying philosophy of queer theory. Queer theory puts gender categories into question- it deconstructs societies idea of “normal” and explains how these gender “norms” came to exist. Queer theorists believe that socially constructed gender norms restrict gender expression and reinforce heteronormative behavior.

The term “queer” encompasses all those individuals who do not fall neatly into gendered categories. It also includes those who do not think that biological sex aligns with sexual orientation, or that attraction is necessarily tied to gender identity at all.

Garbacik also shares some of the criticisms queer theory has received. Some LGBT activists believe that queer agendas push for abstract, societal change rather than for political advancement and equality. Other opponents believe that ambiguity associated with queer theory undermines those who wish to assimilate into mainstream society, and those who identify as either masculine or feminine.

Queer theory has made me question my identity.. I identify as a feminine, heterosexual woman; is my identity a result of society’s conditioning? AM I LIVING AND “SUSTAINING” A “PERSISTENT CULTURAL FANTASY?”

GSFB Chapter 8: Transgender Contexts and Concerns

Chapter 8 of GSFB recaps medical intervention in the lives of transgender individuals and how such interventions impact societal perceptions of gender and transgender individuals.

Transexuality labeled as a psychiatric disorder works as a double-edged sword. Many trans-individuals are able to seek medical treatment so that they may feel more comfortable in their bodies, but in order to do so, they must first dilute their mental stability.

An individual is labeled "psychotic" if they express doubts about their identity in a society that discourages gender exploration and condemns deviation. The societal expectation that individuals are required to express a single, specific gender tells transexuals that they need to be fixed. Transgender individuals seek medical treatment to better adhere to a single gender category, thus reducing social stigmatization.

Transexuals show higher rates of depression, anxiety, drug use, and suicide as a result of societal discrimination and oppression.

So is transexuality a psychiatric disorder, or a societal issue arising from the institutional restraints of the gender binary?

Looking Forward: Garbacik ends her book by promoting equality through inclusion. She says that solidarity of the oppressed (“literally everyone other than affluent, able, straight while male”) will promote education, change legislation and bring about social justice. Considering affluent, able, straight, white males currently comprise the majority of the American government, she has a point. Garbacik concludes that we can make things better, by working together! Cue Arthur theme song.

#reading responses

Ladders are great tools.

Week 8 Writing Tools Activity (#6)

For week 8’s wiring revision activity, I am using Tool 22: Climb up and down the ladder of abstraction.

This original passage uses a lot of terminology and technical jargon to convey an abstract idea:

White advertisers used racialized speech to enforce symbolic domination and strengthen white hegemony in society. Aunt Jemima ads highlighted phonological, syntactical and lexical differences between white and black speakers to reproduce racial habitus.

Revision:

White advertisers used racialized speech to enforce symbolic domination and strengthen white hegemony in society. Aunt Jemima Pancake ads used differing linguistic features between races to further divide white and black populations. Aunt Jemima ads highlighted phonological, syntactical and lexical differences between white and black speakers to reproduce racial habitus.

The additional sentence adds clarification, making the original passage more concrete and understandable in the reader’s mind.

#writing tools

Society is a Know-It-All.. Gender and Sexuality for Beginners

Chapter 4: Modern Construction of Gender Roles

In this chapter, Garbacik explains that gender-assigned children are pushed into gendered roles shortly after birth. Despite the contrary belief that gendered-behaviors are biologically innate, infants learn “appropriate” behavior from their very gender-biased surroundings.

Predetermined behavioral differences assigned to males and females as infants grow to divide the sexes as children and adults. This division creates heteronomative archetypes in our society, which are further exaggerated and perpetuated by the media.

Heteronomative cultural expectations encourage heterosexuality and leave little room for gender exploration or deviation. Restrictive gender norms lead to homophobic attitudes in society.

The part that most strongly resonated with me was men’s portrayal of women in the media. Young girls and women are being taught to strive for airbrushed, unattainable standards of beauty. This has had damaging effects. In fact, in 2011 CU Boulder had the highest rates of eating disorders compared to other college campuses across the nation, nearly TRIPLING the national average. If women were more involved in and represented by the media, a more healthy, realistic standard of beauty may be reached.

Chapter 5: Sexual Orientation

Garbacik argues that heterosexualty as the norm in our culture is the result of society’s construction of gender roles. Gendered behaviors lead to power discrepancies between men and women, which encourage heterosexual relationships.

Garbacik explains two theories of human sexuality that aim to pinpoint its origins. Essentialist theorists posit that sexual orientation is a fixed, biological attribute, while constructionists suggest sexuality is a dynamic, shifting preference influenced by the environment. Extensive research into whether biology (genetic traits and brain structure) determine sexuality have ultimately proved inconclusive.

Garbacik notes that sexual orientation has not always been a defining feature of an individuals identity. Same-sex relations have been ongoing throughout history. Such encounters were overlooked until the word “homosexual” emerged as a medical label, indicating that individuals engaging in same-sex relations present some sort of “disorder.”

However, the labels hetero- and homosexual fail to encompass the wide-rage of human sexuality that exists. Just as gender cannot be strictly divided into male and female, sexual orientation cannot be grouped into two distinct categories. Sexual preference is complex and multifaceted, as involves attraction, emotion and many other factors.

Which leads me to ask- if sexuality is SO complex, why is it used as a defining feature of our personal identities? Why do we have to establish a single sexual identity and why is this preference so central to our being?

Chapter 6: Gay and Lesbian Activism

In chapter 6 of GSFB, Garbacik discusses the social standing of gay and lesbian individuals across different historical contexts. As stigmatization of homosexuality grew, homosexuals faced job and housing discrimination and verbal and physical attacks. Homophiles began to emerge to advocate for assimilation into mainstream society.

Discrimination and intolerance continued, which lead to more radical advocacy groups. Gay men and both hetero- and homosexual feminists actively fought to legitimize same-sex relationships and restructure concepts of gender and sexuality in society- however, each group did so under different ideologies and with distinct agendas.

Later, solitary advocacy groups joined forces to create the LGBT organization, establishing themselves as an unified community in efforts to change policy and gain legal standing. Since then, LGBT individuals have made many legislative advancements including military enrollment, marriage licensing and workplace equality. However, the LGBT civil rights movement is ongoing and much must be done before equality is attained, both legally and culturally.

Garbacik mentions the free love movement of the 1960s- the free love movement rejected the confinements of commitment, while gay and lesbian individuals wanted to legitimize their relationships- I'm wondering how these two distinct campaigns helped or hurt one another in terms of redefining sexuality and gender norms.

#reading responses

Diving In: Gender and Sexuality for Beginners

GSFB Chapter 1: The Biology of Sex and Gender

In Chapter 1 of Gender and Sexuality Garbaick differentiates between sex, gender and sexuality and explains how one area may or may not affect the other two. She shows the ways in which biological traits influence our gender expression- gonads, hormones, brain structure and chromosomes. However, Garbaick notes that these biological features vary between individuals, and are shared amongst individuals of opposite sexes. She concludes that biology in no way determines our gender.

Garbaick suggests that our gender expression is the result of the interaction between biology and the environment, specifically Western culture. Western culture perpetuates mainstream ideas of masculinity and femininity through the media. Men and women are divided by biological traits at birth, and as citizens in a westernized society, we are then molded to fit these roles.

My reaction: will this ever end? How do we break ties from ideas that are so deeply embedded into our society? Is it possible to completely disconnect gender identity from biological sex? Can we make pink a gender neutral color? How do we break away from these gendered associations that we ALL make?

GSFB Chapter 2: Historical Construction of Gender Roles

In chapter 2 of Gender & Sexuality for Beginners, Garbacik explains the historical roots of gendered activity and gender roles. As time passed and society evolved, men and women held different statuses and carried out different duties- these changes reflect the economic state and the religious, scientific and cultural beliefs held during different time periods. This chapter helped to explain how society has shaped modern, mainstream gender roles.

It was interesting to see how societal beliefs held about men and women conflict with reality. Although women were frequently considered to be subordinate to men throughout history, especially in western culture, this notion is countered by evolutionary evidence and cultural anthropology.

A side note: as a linguistics minor, I’ve learned that the origins of many typically negative words are related to women. For example, the word hysteric stems from the 17th century Greek word for ‘womb’ or ‘uterus’ -hysteria being thought to be characteristic of women and tied to womb.

GSFB Chapter 3: Feminism

In Chapter 3 of GSFB, Garbacik introduces the reader to the topic of Feminism, or the idea that “women and men are inherently of equal worth.” Feminism arose as a means of ending of the oppression and countless injustices women have faced throughout history. Garbacik writes about the leaders of the feminist movement and their significant contributions in bringing women equality.

But how far have we come? Garbacik shares startling statistics throughout the chapter indicating that women are still unequal to men in many aspects. Sexual abuse and economic disparity between men and women exemplify this prevailing inequality.

As a matter of fact, a proposed bill in Colorado RIGHT NOW, threatens to ban abortion even in cases of rape and incest and outlaw all forms of birth control.. this issue is SO last century!

Garbacik clearly lays out the many sufferings women have overcome, yet brings up issues we still face. After reading this chapter, I identity as a feminist. Men and women ARE inherently of equal worth and should be treated as such.

#reading responses

Coherence and Cohesion

For week 7's revision activity, I applied writing tools 18 and 19 to an old analysis of Sweeney Todd the musical. I played around with sentence length to improve clarity and add emphasis. I also broke up the original paragraph into two shorter paragraphs for better coherence.

Side note: Notice that tool number 20 (choose the number of elements with a purpose in mind) is used. I used "the language of two" to compare and contrast man and animal.

#writing tools

We Will Not Shut Up and Go Away

In Gender & Sexuality for Beginners, Jaimee Garbaick introduces the reader to the motivation behind and the purpose of her writing, in an upfront and informative way. She shares information about the current social standing of members within the LGBTQIA community in order to raise awareness, inspire discussion, and evoke change.

The rhetorical situation Garbacik is responding to:

Garbacik is speaking on behalf of the oppressed- the disabled, the poor, the youth, and especially those within the LGBTQIA community. She wants to raise awareness about the societal injustices LGBTQIA individuals face, and the damaging consequences of such discrimination, to ultimately bring change through recognition and discussion. Garbacik wants to make LGBTQIA issues a talked-about topic, especially amongst the country’s youth.

The rhetorical strategies Garbaick employs:

Garbaick structures a logical argument by including statistics about suicide rates amongst America’s youth. She notes that the leading cause of death amongst gay, lesbian and bisexual individuals between the ages of fifteen to twenty five is suicide. These facts are multifaceted, as they touch the heart and open the mind of the reader.

While writing the book Garbaick mentions that she “interviewed service providers and academics, activists and many queer young people.” She also identifies as a member of the LGBTQIA community. These tidbits of information mark Garbaick as a credible and informed researcher and author.

At the same time, Garbaick also acknowledges that this book is an not an all-encompassing, fail-safe rulebook to gender and sexuality. She simply hopes that her book “catapults further exploration” into LGBTQIA issues. Through this modest statement, the author identifies with, and inspires the reader, evoking pathos and furthering her credibility.

The "writer's identity" Garbacik sets up for herself:

Garbacik immediately aligns herself with the oppressed- she identifies as a member of LGBTQIA world. To Garbacik, the topics at hand are pressing, important, and deeply personal. Her tone is urgent, and her voice persuasive, as she states “LGBT issues can no longer be ignored” within the first few lines of her book. She presents herself as a well-informed and experienced activist, speaking on behalf of the millions of oppressed individuals like (and unlike) herself.

#rhetorical analyses

Try Adding Sugar

For week 6 revision practice, I decided to use tools 13 and 14. I chose to play with words and add specific details to transform a brief blurb into a literary adventure!

Original: As I stepped off the bus, the new sunshine that comes with early spring warmed my cheeks. I pushed open the moss green door to my single story house. I was usually greeted with an intriguing aroma of baked goods, but not today.

Revised: I stood on the steps of the school bus, watching tree branches waver in the wind through two oblong, glass windows. The door hinges chafed against themselves and swiveled open, allowing crisp air to cascade into the bus. As I stepped off, the tentative sunshine that comes with early spring tickled my cheeks, warming my soul. I moved towards the moss green door of my single story home. My hand and the brass doorknob joined in an ephemeral dance, and I made my way inside. I was usually greeted by an intriguing aroma of baked goods- roasted garlic, sweet cinnamon, savory rosemary- but not today.

#writing tools

Chop Chop!

For this activity, I applied writing tools 9 and 10 to further revise Tori's work from last week.

Here, I focused on deleting word clutter and played with punctuation. I cut out unnecessary words and phrases, and then reorganized the newly sliced sentences for clarity. I also added dashes to add emphasis.

These changes condense the passage and add focus, helping to keep the reader on path.

#writing tools

This Title is Title-ly

This week's writing tool #5 suggested that the overuse of adverbs can make writing sound inexperienced and immature.. let's see if you agree!

ORIGINAL: As he crept stealthily into the room, the wind whistled eerily in the trees. His flashlight played nervously on the pieces of furniture until he caught some movement behind the couch. "Who's there?" he asked fearfully. "Surprise!" the group shouted excitedly as they burst from their hiding places. He grinned sheepishly and immediately collapsed into a chair

REVISED: As he inched into the room, the wind bellowed through the trees. His flashlight flickered on the pieces of furniture until he caught some movement behind the couch. ”Who’s there?” he cried."Surprise!" the group exclaimed as they burst from their hiding places. His cheeks reddened as he collapsed into a chair.

In the revised passage, I replaced many verb-adverb combinations with stronger verbs or deleted the adverb altogether. However, I don't necessarily think the revised passage sounds "better".. Through this exercise, I've learned that adverbs can make writing more colorful- but be careful- the overuse of adverbs makes writing redundant. Only use adverbs to add something meaningful.

#writing tools

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