Call me Mango, I taste like Dango

mango,this is an 18+ blog, (honestly the rating is more because I'm an adult and adult stuff comes up sometimes, I write sfw a majority of the time)

[celestialmango]

I feel excessively exhausted and I hate it. Especially since I don't know why I'm so tired.

[celestialmango]

Irl has become far more dramatic because just today I found out my dad has been cheating on my mom for weeks. Which is mega fucked up.

[celestialmango]

Sorry if this has been ask but I'm curious, what all bots did you have in mind to make? I've been enjoying the Shadowmilk ones a lot.

Well this is the lineup I'm still working on with placeholder pictures (except for the pic with shadow milk under the bed with pure vanilla in the room)

[celestialmango]

Finally got this one done when I had down time, he wanted to be frustrating

It sage of truth as octopus mer but not as big as fount of knowledge I made previously

janitor is a platform for creators building immersive worlds and readers seeking living stories, we are where human creativity meets ai magi

[celestialmango]

how are you holding up mango?

Bit better, still exhausted, still grieving, still trying to get back to normal, it's hard tho, I'm trying my best but everything is still just...alot, had some health scares in my family with my dad and aunt.

[celestialmango]

Called the vet and thanks to some friends I was able to make other arrangements with a different place for cremation for less than what the vet wanted, we're picking my cat's body up today to take her to be cremated.

[celestialmango]

We've taken her to the human society, her urn is picked out, her cremation paid for, but gods it hurt to carry that cardboard coffin in, it hurt to feel her weight in my arms again and I keep having small crying fits.

[celestialmango]

Called the vet and thanks to some friends I was able to make other arrangements with a different place for cremation for less than what the vet wanted, we're picking my cat's body up today to take her to be cremated.

[celestialmango]

I made a kracken Fount of Knowledge

He big and sometimes grumpy.

janitor is a platform for creators building immersive worlds and readers seeking living stories, we are where human creativity meets ai magi

He was gonna be normal sized but then brain went "what if kracken tho?"

[celestialmango]

Started thinking about shadow milk mer and variants. First thing that popped into my mind? Octopus. He has the vibe of an octopus.

Key reasons. Octopus can slither into tight spaces and change shape to confuse others or escape. They can alter their colors to match their surroundings. Octopus are extremely intelligent. Octopus can be very sassy and petty, also his hair this which made think octopus

[celestialmango]

I needed comfort so I did a thing

I made a merman pure vanilla

janitor is a platform for creators building immersive worlds and readers seeking living stories, we are where human creativity meets ai magi

[celestialmango]

Still not doing great so am trying to do stuff to make me less depressed, starting thinking about mermay and thought about mer shadow milk....first thought in my head would be that he would bully you by calling you a clownfish and for some reason that made me smile.

[celestialmango]

I broke down crying, apparently the vet did not cremate my cat for free like a vet tech told me they would and today I was told they still have her body and need me to pay for the cremation. My job still isn't paying me enough to be able to afford it and my hours are fucking 6 to 7 hours a week. I can barely make my bills.

Please, if any of you can help me get her, even just a little to put towards it, please help.

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[celestialmango]

It is almost midnight but I am proud and feel the need to share this cause it gave me a few drops of needed dopamine. I made bread.

From scratch, with yeast, and I feel proud that my first attempt was not bad, kept making mistakes and telling myself to trust the process and looked up tips and asked my aunt for advice cause she baked alot.

This is my first scratch loaf. Also tried to start a sour dough starter and I think I may have fucked up and he may be dead because he was next to the stove and the jar got a little hot. I will see if the morning if I didn't accidentally kill the starter.

May have named it too soon.

[celestialmango]

I'm still alive, but my therapist says I'm burnt out....

Honestly that tracks. My offline life is currently awful and I'm just exhausted all the time now.

[celestialmango]

I'm still having a hard time rn, slowly getting somewhat better but it's hard and I'm definitely not gonna be able to stand to look at original potato chips or even eat them for a while. Out of context I know that sounds silly....

But my cat always made me pay a chip tax to her and I would break of a tiny part of a potato chip every time I ate original potato chips and she loved them my silly girl.

[celestialmango]

Two days ago my nephew asked if wednesday was going to be April fools day and I said "no". I set him up. Told him happy April fools day today.

[celestialmango]

I want to thank everyone who sent me condolences for the loss of my cat, she lived a good long life of 15 years, I've had her since I was 15 so this is a really rough time for me and I'm probably not going to be okay for a long while but at least she's with my other cat now who i had adopted with her when she was a kitten. I'm going to be making a small memorial for her that I will be placing near her brother's ashes since I was give her prints and some of her fur.

She loved catnip and silvervine a lot so I will be putting a small bottle of it on the shared memorial shelf.