Fuck Off

[thebootydiaries]

Leading skincare experts: hot water is actually bad for your skin jsyk

Me: that’s unfortunate *continues to boil my flesh in the shower*

[hoymihnoy]

Where is my “Music of Marvin Gaye Starring Childish Gambino” The Movie?? WHERE THE FUCK IS IT HUH?

[thunder]

[blameaspartame-deactivated20200]

[furbyfuzz]

Today we are having… Hot Dog

[neyhaz]

things you dont learn at school:

oscar wilde said he was “addicted to cock-sucking”. also, oscar wilde said “penis-sucking” gave him inspiration

[funnylime]

[bluelivesaintshit]

“love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling” I choked

[mexicanjesuschrist-deactivated2]

So did Oscar Wilde

[askldfjhaskljhfdklasdjhf-deacti]

@courbet

[mysterymeat6649127739816]

[ofallthehappy-deactivated202004]

squad

[bopeep]

we dem b o y z

[knightcore]

me: *neglects my duo lingo app*

The Duolingo Owl:

[stardustschild]

never i repeat never put on time warp at a party unless you want the theatre kids to destroy your house

[sneakyfeets]

a bold assumption to think I would allow theatre kids within even 500 feet of my home

[thisiswhymomworries]

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you move out and have a house of your own :)

me, in this economy: a what

[thisiswhymomworries]

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you get married and have a husband :)

me, a known gay: a what

[thisiswhymomworries]

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you start a family and have your first baby :)

me, an asexual: A WHAT

[exomoon]

my parents: our little girl is growing into a woman! me, a nonbinary: a what

[you-looked-at-mysecrets-deactiv]

my parents: our boy is growing into a strong man me, a nonbinary: a what

[exoskyll]

my parents: can you tell us the SI unit of power, equivalent to one joule per second, corresponding to the power in an electric circuit in which the potential difference is one volt and the current one ampere? me: a watt

[agent-ches]

my god

[jackdrawsgames]

my parentsHagrid: you’re a wizard

me, Harry Potter: a what

[iguanamouth]

i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”

[level27rogue-deactivated2020112]

tumors grow, are they supposed to be there?

its called “evolution”, just because its there doesnt mean its useful or wanted.

[geekandmisandry]

Local Man Compares Leg Hair To Cancer, Genuinely Thought It Was A Smart Argument. More At Six.

[sologatos]

[hayley566]

Sour cream baby

[findingbigfoot]

oh my god he

[slightmood]

[slightmood]

[kellyangel]

Still going with these mermay.

(Also, I have a Ko-fi now, there are some descriptions with the mermays there too) 

[yui-hirasawa-pregnant-fanfictio]

[featherywingss]

My phone at 1% battery: finally,,,,the sweet embrace of death,,,,,,my codes are clearing,,,,,,,my burdens are lifted,,,,,,,,,,,,

Me, jamming the charger in seconds before it shuts off: you’re gonna stay alive and suffer like the rest of us you lazy bitch

[teuer]

[terrapincentury-deactivated2018]

stinky