#mango vents

[celestialmango]

Called the vet and thanks to some friends I was able to make other arrangements with a different place for cremation for less than what the vet wanted, we're picking my cat's body up today to take her to be cremated.

[mangora]

Will never get over how I was denied an autism diagnosis bc one:

1. I seemed like I “did fine” every time I had seen my doctor (I’ve seen her twice in person)

2. It “didn’t seem to be hurting me” and it “couldn’t be treated” so what was the point

3. I “would’ve been diagnosed by now”/my mom “would’ve known”

Like bro I have gotten into screaming matches with my family over me needing help in situations due to my sensory issues, I’m so bad at socializing and reacting quickly that I can’t do certain things at school like group work or technical theatre correctly even after years of practice, I have to act out my emotions bc I don’t express them naturally, and I’m so fixated on my interests that I haven’t done homework at home like all year but ok bro not hurting me; and that’s the tip of the iceberg bro like ok guys. And for reference when I brought up autism to my other doctor she didn’t even know enough about autism to help me, she brought out her DSM and read it to me and asked how well I matched each trait. Like bro I’m sorry medical system pisses me off sm. And even if I could get a test it would have been a thousand dollars minimum because health insurance doesn’t cover it. God im just annoyed

[uniquelyfierce]

I Wanna Live This Kinda Life.

[me venting below the keep reading]

i just wanna curl up with my lovely and watch anime, giggle over silly memes and cuddle while we eat unhealthy fast food shit but,,,the way i was taught by my religion thinks otherwise. its hard to think that i won't burn in hell for loving someone of the same gender, despite research and hoping the opposite,, its ever so depressing but im fighting it, fighting back the negatives and sweating hard to get to this. its severely painful and stressful cause i dont drive and constantly get dragged to religious events, get nagged about it when the conversation isnt even prompted, and am constantly around people who believe that i'll burn. its hurts so bad but im fighting it, for them, for me, for those who havent came out yet in my area.

im,,,really in a rut rn so if yall send asks of memes and dm me your pets, itd really mean a lot to me,,

[megagrind]

.

[celestialmango]

I feel excessively exhausted and I hate it. Especially since I don't know why I'm so tired.

[celestialmango]

I wish I could get a job to just get paid to be one of the daycare boys prey so I wouldn't have to always worry about "am I gonna have enough to survive this month"

[celestialmango]

This is just a vent but..

Welp, I'm close to crying and my anxiety has me close to throwing up, I just took a severe hit to the money I had been trying to save because I had to fork over cash for cleaning supplies and the stress and anxiety over the what the vet bill and the licensing is gonna cost us so bad I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

Not to mention the worst friggin thing happened and the box of cat litter I had to get today's handle snapped into the parking lost and the side of the damn thing burst open. Today is not being kind to me and I feel so close a breakdown it's not even funny.

[celestialmango]

This is just a vent.

Found myself wishing more than once this year that I had the funds to buy a few acres of land and build a big tiny house village with some green houses all run on solar power and put almost all the houses up as rent to own, you could stay in the village after it's paid off and even purchase that bit of land through continued rent or could just wander off with the house after you pay the house off or you could buy the home outright.

I don't need much money to survive due to living so cheaply since I was a kid. Fuck it maybe I'd just give those houses and land away after an income check to make sure whoever low income/welfare person who was buying it could at least afford the property tax. That's what I would do if I won the lottery besides opening a business so I could continue to fund my own housing, fuck being rich and hording money. Being rich won't make me happy because I'm happiest when helping others. Make a charity that gives housing to the poor because fuck being homeless or worrying about being homeless because of apartment rules.

Sounds punk as hell to do something like that and that's part of the reason I would want to do that. A big middle finger to greedy bitches who hoard wealth and continue a cycle of control and misery for those who aren't as fortunate as them. Hell I don't care if my identity was revealed at that point, if people got in contact with me and couldn't afford to move to the village and I still had the funds I would pay the expenses for them. Those people would be my hoard and I would protect them with the ferocity of a mother dragon protecting her nest.