kenzie darling

a collection of things that made me laugh or cry or both.

[captainkirk94-deactivated201903]

Yesterday i lost my glasses. And decided to document my frustration until……… I really wish this was planned, but i gotta admit, I took a big L.

[cc-videos]

“[defeated tone] So… I have…. lost my glasses. And I’m afraid to leave my bed because I can’t see… and I fear I might step on my glasses. So I’m sitting here with my bee pillow pet… and I don’t know what to do.

I need to get up. I wanna get food. I gotta exfoliate and moisturize, cause my skin looking atrocious right now.

What if… [deep breath] What if I die here, y’all? Would anyone even miss me?Like, really?

I want Enrique Iglesias to come save me. Like, the ceiling opens up and like, he comes down from like, a heavenly cloud with my glasses, and he’s singing. [imitating Enrique Iglesias] ‘Would you dance? If I asked you to dance? I will be your hero baby!’ And I just take my glasses and I’m like ‘Thanks yo! Put a shirt on homie!’

But life, life don’t work… life… [prolonged silence]

[camera zooms in on glasses] 

[long silence; light chuckle] Enrique…”

[leupagus]

This should win an Oscar

[celestialwildflower]

I was sitting on my bed minding my own goddamn business when my ceiling light came swinging off of the ceiling and smacks me in the face AT THE SAME EXACT TIME as my phone gives me a notification that @normal-horoscopes has posted something about “this post is a low level curse.” And I just want some explanations.

[normal-horoscopes]

DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED?

[celestialwildflower]

I mean honestly no but my ego is now bruised along with my face.

[normal-horoscopes]

YOU SHOULD TAKE A SHOWER AND GROUND THE CURSE

[celestialwildflower]

my whole life has been utter chaos since this post. I’d like to return the curse. I think it was actually a high level curse. you’re far more powerful than we anticipated. can I get a refund?

[institutionalized-gaming]

October can’t come soon enough

IT IS AUGUST

[its-an-ear-hat-john]

This has been in my likes since last year. It is time.

[bedhead-queen]

This is the 21st night of September skeleton. He only appears once a year.

[celestialwildflower]

[celestialwildflower]

My friend gave me an Oracle deck the other day and I asked a question and pulled ‘Winter Solstice” I wanted clarity so I shuffled and pulled again and got Winter Solstice a second time. So I pulled out my normal tarot deck from @normal-horoscopes because I love this deck and I wanted clarity, and guess what the first card I pulled was....

This drawing is reminiscent of a tattoo I got a few days ago

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?! I can’t wait til my guidebook comes so I can really dive into the meanings of each card.

[normal-horoscopes]

GODDAMN I AM SO GOOD AT MY JOB

[celestialwildflower]

@normal-horoscopes I understand now. The first winter solstice card literally said it’s a time to go inside, to both our physical shelter as well as our internal world to reflect. Your winter solstice card which is the ace of the suit of winter speaks of breaking cycles and creating change. We are struggling, changing and emerging.

That reading was a foretelling of this years events. We will emerge despite everything.

[west-hollywood-blvd-deactivated]

Babe.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Time loop crisis

All of my school friends and I were stuck on a floating island time loop after some sort of horrific accident. We could choose to go home but we didn’t know if we were dead in real life or not. If we went home and we were dead, we would relive our deaths. But if we stayed in the time loop, we would live there forever. 

[celestialwildflower]

wait this isn’t a dream this is my real life playing animal crossing: new horizons during a pandemic

[render94]

Ah, le donne... sempre impareggiabili!!!

Ah, women ... always unmatched !!!

[mythigal1966]

And now, for a very dignified classical music recital...

[diggers-colorful-world-deactiva]

And they did all that in heels.  Let’s see Yo-Yo Ma and his buddies do that....

[mugwomps]

I bet rehearsals were fun

[celestialwildflower]

I’ve never been more gay

[movie-gifs]

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

[enemafrostofficial]

BIG DICK ENERGY

[celestialwildflower]

every girls sexual awakening honestly

[kitsune002-deactivated20240718]

[gahdamnpunk]

Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making

[celestialwildflower]

All of those actions have consequences. Learning those consequences as a child is good and healthy. There’s absolutely no need to add punishment. So your kid spilled something? The consequence is a mess. If they’re old enough to help clean it up, they’re old enough to learn that consequence - and that’s it. They don’t need to be yelled at or smacked. Show them how to clean it up and ask them to help you. They broke something? Now they can’t use it anymore. That’s all the consequence that they need to learn. That’s enough to teach them that they should be careful and treat things with respect. If you’re yelling at your child the only thing they will learn is that if they make mistakes then you get mad. So they’ll either hide their mistakes or go to extreme lengths to not make mistakes out of fear of making you mad. That’s not healthy. It does more harm than good.

[simpsons-latino]

[say-prettyy-pleasee]

This is Money Marge. Reblog for a miracle of finances to come to you

🙏🏾💰💵

[celestialwildflower]

adhd life hack time, go!

how do you manage to be productive when you have lots of projects you ask? oh you didn’t ask? I don’t care I’m gonna tell you anyways!

step 1: have a bunch of projects you need to do

step 2: choose one to do today!

step 3: spend the rest of the day procrastinating starting the project you’ve decided on because you don’t know how to start it by doing literally EVERY other project!!!

so you’re supposed to practice spanish and clean? cool! that’s not happening, babey! instead we’re sewing, playing music, and painting - projects we’ve been wanting to do forever but kept putting off!

I’ve been putting off sewing for a week at least but I reallly need to be cleaning this rug today so GUESS WHO IS FINALLY SEWING!?

[thenatsdorf]

Foster kitten life. (via pokeypotpie)

[celestialwildflower]

how do I adopt him and his cute lil nose

[celestialwildflower]

I was sitting on my bed minding my own goddamn business when my ceiling light came swinging off of the ceiling and smacks me in the face AT THE SAME EXACT TIME as my phone gives me a notification that @normal-horoscopes has posted something about “this post is a low level curse.” And I just want some explanations.

[normal-horoscopes]

DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED?

[celestialwildflower]

I mean honestly no but my ego is now bruised along with my face.

[normal-horoscopes]

YOU SHOULD TAKE A SHOWER AND GROUND THE CURSE

[snowcoveredroof]

I’m sorry, I have to ignore the curse part for a second, I HAVE THE SAME FREAKIN’ CAT PILLOW!!

[celestialwildflower]

It’s the most comfy pillow ever!! I wasn’t gonna buy it because do I need a cat pillow? No. Then I felt it and it is the softes, squishiest pillow, how did I ever sleep without him??

[unofficeleriac-deactivated20210]

Reblog if it's okay for anybody to message you if they're feeling lonely during self isolation. Let's get through this together!

[welcomedtonewyork-deactivated20]

I’ve been trying this out and it’s been quite helpful 🤗