Dating a system, THIS system in particular, is the best thing that has ever happened to me. All my life, I felt as though I wasn't... deserving of love, that my purpose was to make other people happy and hide all my feelings or I'd be a burden to them. To just be a temporary person in their life until they finally got bored of me. But... this system has shown me otherwise.
Bias, the host, the absolute love of my life. God... I plan on marrying it some day. I have never had someone love me so genuinely and purely before. Bias has shown me a reason to live, Bias feels like my genuine soulmate. From the first time we spoke, I felt a spark. It had the same wants and desires as me, so many similar pains, and god is it understanding and supportive of any and all issues I have. I've never felt so safe to be myself with someone, to cry in front of someone. I love it with my whole heart, and I plan to spend the rest of my life with it. I can't even begin to list all it's done for me, and I don't have the words to express just what it means to me. But Bias, my love... you are my heart.
Banjoh was a bit of a surprise to me. I liked him, but... had some personal issues. Thought it'd be best to cut off all feelings for him and hate him before he could do that to me. The fear of his rejection was too grand, and I still to this day regret everything I ever said to him during that time. But Banjoh is such an amazing person. He forgave me, he gave me a second chance, and we grew to fall in love. And fuck am I so thankful for it. I know that I can always rely on Banjoh, and I hope that he knows I'll always be here for him in return. I genuinely adore him, and can't wait to take him out to see the stars with me. Bamby, you mean the world to me.
Besides being unbelievably hot and funny, Jin is so... precious to my life. She doesn't like heavy topics, doesn't really wanna be all mushy with feelings and stuff, but everytime I call for her... she's there. When I need help, or when I just wanna say some random shit because I think it'd make her laugh. She makes me feel like it's ok to be myself, to be weird or gross, she admires those traits. She tells me how proud she is, will send me the most beautiful poem when I'm feeling insecure, will come to check on me when I'm upset, say things to make me smile and laugh, and I'm so... it means so much to me. I remind her all the time, but I just hope she knows how deeply I love her.
I don't get to talk to Cerise too much, but I love her completely. She's so beautiful, inside and out, and all I want to do is smother her in affection and love like she deserves. I want to make her feel happy and safe, loved, comfortable. I wanna take her on the cutest dates, see so many flowers, give her the sweetest strawberries, make her feel as adored as she is.
Similar with Jonnik. I don't think he realises just how much I do love him. Or... isn't able to really believe it. But I do, genuinely. He's so amazing to me, such a beautiful person, and I wanna also take him on the cutest dates. Foraging for bones, walking around through forests, show him all my plants. He's so sweet, I want to make him feel as giddy as he makes me.
Sameen is obviously pussy slay cunt sexy bitch goddess, but honestly? Love him too. He's so funny, and fun to be around. Ik I kinda annoy him and do stupid stuff, but I appreciate him still... looking out for me, even if I'm being a burden. I'm sorry ^^; but thank you for everything you've done, regardless of how annoying it can be.
RHYS IS SUCH A FUNNY GUY, I've only hung out with him one time and jfc he was so fun, I love him. Wanna do so many stupid things with him, hehe.
Jannis, idk very well, but they're so so sweet and caring. I appreciate absolutely everything you do for Bias and everyone else. Thank you for taking care of it... I love you.
Sybill, my fellow autist. I... idk, I like him. He's a pretty slay dude. Don't know him that well though, I think we both just have a mutual "oh look, fellow autistic guy that loves rats and fnaf. Cool." and I like that.
Benji, ik I love to tease you a lot and I can be... too weird. BUT, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the care you've always provided Bias. I love you, and I... idk, I care about you a lot, and like with everyone else, I greatly appreciate all you've done. I hope someday I can take you to see some trains :] go on a nice lil train trip too. He makes me giggle too, such a silly lad hehe.
There are obviously others that I care about, but those are the one's I mainly interact with. I love all of them, in different ways. And I feel like I must've done something good to just... know them, let alone be loved by so many of them. All I want is to spend my life with them, making them all happy, make them laugh, feel safe, feel comfortable. I want to be someone they treasure as much as I treasure them.
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