When Cas dies, it devastates Dean. He has never felt so lost, so broken, so… Empty. Dean tried at first to bargain with the gods and they refused him. In retaliation he and his family sapped the Lord of all his powers. What is the point of power, Dean thought, if it didn’t have strength to bring his angel back? The sheer emptiness inside Dean swallowed it up like a black hole. Nothing could escape the nothingness.
Whiskey and sleepless nights, meaningless touch and merciless hunting - nothing could make him feel anything. Searching for some kind of cure, some kind of remedy, any kind of self destructive outlet, he partook in. A vague kind of hope that something might penetrate this abyss.
Until one Thursday morning, a clear day in late July, Dean awoke and realized, he better live this life Cas saved. So Dean threw away the bottles, he called his brother for support. He dug out an old scrap of paper with a phone number he’d saved in the Impala’s glove compartment.
He called Mia, a doctor whose job it was to listen. Dean spoke and spoke and cried and begged. Mia stood alone as witness. In the summer sun, he learned to live again, and to finally look inside. Dean turn to face his burnt out core, the endless void from which he’d been running. He let himself for the very first time, let go and face himself. And in that infinite emptiness that reigned over every dormant atom in him, he found he was not as alone as he thought. For in some quiet restless chamber in his heart, he found his best friend quietly sleeping. Asleep in the Empty lay Cas, his love. Still beautiful, still Castiel.
Softly, Dean approached and knelt down next to his friend. He put his hand gently on the sleeper’s shoulder, and whispered quietly, “Cas.”
“It’s time to wake up, Cas. It’s time to come home. There’s happiness we could be having. I never believed I deserved to be saved, but you make me believe I didn’t have to be worthy. I could just be saved without having to earn it. You made me believe I was enough. I learned to live, I learned to stop asking why.
Together we learned to conquer fate. We became more than what our destiny could contain. Death hasn’t stopped us. The rules haven’t stopped us. The moment you touched me in Hell, I was lost. I was found. I was home.
Cas, I need you. I need you to wake up. I need you to know… I need you to know you shouldn’t have been satisfied in just the saying. The saying is the most painful part of it all. I guess we both are a little masochistic. You could have had me, Cas. You have me now. You have me always.
Cas, I love you. Of course I do. Time to wake up, time to come home.”
Having emptied out his heart, Dean sits for many minutes with his hand upon Cas’s shoulder, crying into his coat. When suddenly the angel’s blue eyes open and meets the hero’s gaze. Dean smiles wide with tear stained eyes looking down at his love. Cas opens his mouth, just like the very first time and says, “Hello, Dean.”
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