hello and welcome to my blog!! i'm estera. if you came here from my wattpad account (certifiedfrog) then welcome! if you just stumbled here and are interested in my works and harry potter, then i really would recommend and appreciate you checking my fic out!
masterlist
INTERESTS
⌗ fandoms : harry potter, stranger things, genshin impact, haikyuu, encanto (is this fandom dead), demon slayer, percy jackson
⌗ music : laufey, beabadoobee, clairo
⌗ current obsession : harry potter
FAVORITES
♡ favorite characters : harry potter, jane hopper, luna lovegood, dustin henderson, venti, noelle, kamisato ayaka, yoimiya, lily evans
♡ favorite book :
♡ favorite comfort media : writing and reading
♡ favorite movie : the wind rises by Hayao Miyazaki
REQUESTS
status : open / closed
before requesting:
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✿ check the rules/masterlist first
RULES
most of the things i write on the harry potter fandom will be centered around my iterations/reiterations universe.
i write:
✧ x readers (platonic and romantic)
✧ oneshots
✧ headcanons
✧ character analysis
✧ rambles / brainrot
✧ fluff, angst, comfort, and slice of life
i won't write:
✧ smut / explicit content (but i might do suggestive content like making out)
✧ incest
✧ non-consensual relationships
✧ excessive gore
✧ hateful or discriminatory content
✧ anything that makes me uncomfortable
before requesting:
✧ be specific with your idea if possible
✧ please be patient; i write when i have time and motivation
✧ check the masterlist before requesting something similar
✧ i reserve the right to decline any request
✧ sending a request does not guarantee it will be written
SPECIFIC TAGS
#iterations → things related to my harry potter fic
#estera.txt → personal posts
#frog.rambles → random thoughts
#frog.brainrot → fandom brainrot
#esterawrites → all writing
#esteraoneshots → oneshots
#esteraheadcanons → headcanons
#esteraimagines → imagines
#xreader → all reader inserts
#drabbles → short pieces/ficlets
⌞ notes ⌝
be kind.
have fun.
drink water.
this blog is run purely for fun and as a creative hobby. please remember that i'm just one person in college behind the screen. if your request isn't answered right away, please stay patient.
how would lohen react if reader also had karmic dept?
(P.s I love your work and hope you have a good day/ night)
thanks for the request anon! love ya pookie have a good day/night yourself as well
assuming that reader would be a yaksha in the case they have karmic debt, lohen doesn't pretend to understand what centuries of karmic debt feels like. he also doesn't pretend it isn't real. even if you're somehow just an adeptus and not a yaksha, that wouldn't change.
warning: might be a little ooc
Lohen doesn’t react the way most people do when he learns about your karmic debt. No pity. No fear.
Just: “So it’s permanent battlefield debuff. Gotcha. Range of effect? Triggers? Can it be baited into enemies?”
You: “It is not a weapon.”
Lohen: “Everything is a weapon if used correctly, dear Esteemed Adeptus [Name].”
He still respects it though. which is worse. because it means he took notes.
lohen is also not like "you'll be fine 😐" because he knows you won't. or at least, not completely.
being from mondstadt, he was never too interested in liyuean(liyuese?? idk) history unless it gave him more insight into future expeditions. but after learning about your karmic debt, he started learning a bit more on adepti history.
Before meeting you: "Liyue has some pretty sick monsters to fight."
After learning about karmic debt: "…Explain everything."
He checks out every history book the Knights have.
Lisa notices.
"…Vice Captain?"
"Yeah?"
"You've borrowed fourteen books on illuminated beasts."
"…Research."
"Into?"
"[Name]."
"Excellent."
Lohen suddenly becomes the Knights’ most dedicated library borrower. Topics include: “Illuminated beasts of Liyue” / “Adepti physiology (not creepy, I swear)” / “Historical karmic calamities and how badly they killed people”
He has absolutely no idea how adeptal medicine works and he was a little distraught when he found out there's no physical remedies for something like karmic debt. So his attempts are… creative.
Brings you tea, food, spicy snacks, dried flowers, medicine Theodore insisted on including.
Makes sure you've actually eaten.
Scares away people trying to bother you.
Somehow acquires your favorite ingredients.
A tiny note saying I wasn't sure what would help. So I brought several possibilities. -Lohen
You ask him why he bothers doing all this and he responded "because you're always taking care of everyone else. someone should probably do it for you."
oh and his "fight me" gets updated.
Old Lohen: "Fight me."
New Lohen: "…Only if you're feeling well... otherwise we can just… walk.... or something... I dunno." be patient with him pls he has a fat crush on you
lohen isnt very good at staying silent. he hates silence and always has to fill it with something. but he'll try his best. like when your karmic debt flares and your aura(??) becomes oppressive, most people step back. lohen finds you a few hours later with some gum.
"Can I sit here?"
"It will harm you."
"Not if I adjust properly." (he does not adjust properly. he just gets stronger pain tolerance and calls it adaptation.)
your karmic flare-ups confuse him less than expected. most people get uncomfortable when you go quiet and still. Lohen just sits nearby and watches the horizon like he’s on guard duty.
If anyone interrupts: “Don’t.”
He later says: “Noise makes it worse, right? So I removed noise. Tell me if it gets worse. I'll handle everything else.”
his biggest frustration is that it isnt something he can fight. he fights monsters, bandits, harbingers, wild hunt. he knows where to stab them and make it hurt. but your karmic debt? you can't exactly stab it.
he hates that. he hates that it hurts you and he cant even challenge it to a proper duel. he actually once muttered to himself before "coward"(talking about your karmic flares) "wont even come outside..."
a stupid 5th company recruit says: "Aren't adepti supposed to be above things like pain?"
Lohen stares.
"..."
"...You wanna repeat that?"
"No, I just mea—"
"You think living longer means hurting less?"
"..."
"...'Cause that's the dumbest thing I've heard all week."
Considering this is the man who once considered poisoning himself to build resistance... That is an astonishing insult.
His Love Language Is #ReducingYourWorkloadWithoutAsking
You wake up and someone already:
cleaned your weapon
sharpened it
left a plate of your favorite food on your nightstand
repaired your cloak
chased off three people looking for you
organized your paperwork
Lohen is pretending none of this happened.
"...Did you do all this?"
"Pshht, no."
"..."
"...Maybe."
"..."
"...I got bored."
The first time he witnessed one of your more intense flare ups, he expected pain. He did not expect that.
One moment you're speaking normally.
The next, your hand is gripping your own sleeve so tightly your knuckles pale.
Your breathing goes uneven.
Your expression barely changes but he notices anyway.
You suddenly freeze.
"[Name]?"
"...They're getting louder."
"What is?"
"The voices."
Silence.
"...Don't listen to them," Lohen says instinctively.
"...I know. They're my own head."
That answer stays with him for a very long time. Everyone else backs away. Because they should. The corrupted energy makes every instinct scream: Leave.
Lohen's instincts scream too. His pulse races and every hair on his arms stands up. His body recognizes danger before his brain does. But he still walks over nonetheless.
He knows he isn't immune, but he also knows he refuses to let you weather it alone.
He never says things like "You should rest." Instead he'll ask, "Can you keep going?" He hates it when people guess his limits and finds it only reasonable that you would likely hate it as well.
If you answer yes, he believes you. If you answer no, plans immediately change. No complaints. No guilt. No disappointed sigh.
Lohen finds combat to be the worst part. Every battle worsens the debt. He catches on pretty quickly when your stance grows heavier, our reactions become just a fraction slower, and every strike looks like it hurts but you keep fighting anyway.
he sometimes gets pretty furious and worked up in his head about it. Not at you. no, never at you. At the ancient gods. At fate. At whatever decided that someone who spends their life protecting people should carry centuries of hatred that wasn't even theirs.
your karmic debt especially makes the hallucinations REALLY bad. Sometimes you answer questions nobody asked. Sometimes you suddenly look over your shoulder. Sometimes you stop walking entirely because you heard someone calling your name even though nobody did.
Lohen'll actually actually walk over and look around, later coming back and promising "Nothing there." Arguing with hallucinations has never helped anyone but grounding you does.
If the voices get louder, he notices and uses his unprecedented talent of redirecting your thoughts.
Without warning he'll say "So... do Ruin Guards have knees?"
"...What?"
"They kneel and fall over eventually. You should've seen when I beat one with some crayons I traded Klee for."
You stare.
The voices lose their grip for just a second.
Mission accomplished.
On bad days he doesn't touch you immediately without asking. Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes no. Sometimes later in the relationship/friendship "...Stay close."
Without another word he sits beside you. Close enough that you know he hasn't left while also far enough that you're comfortable.
But he respects the danger of staying close by. He read about testimonies where karmic debt seeped into the environment, mutating monsters and driving ordinary mortals into a berserker state.
If your karmic debt begins leaking into the surroundings, he's already moving civilians away and keeping monsters from wandering closer. He knows you'd feel guilty if anyone got hurt.
Lohen knows he can't carry your karmic debt.
He can't split it.
He can't cure it.
He can't even truly understand it.
Yes, it irritates him to no end.
But there is one thing he can do.
He can make sure you never have to endure it completely alone. So whenever one of your flare-ups begins, there is a decent chance you'll eventually hear footsteps.
Then his familiar voice.
"...Mind if I sit?"
"...You may."
"Cool."
"..."
"I brought gum again."
"..."
"I remembered you liked the mint one this time."
Whenever the debt convinces you you're becoming dangerous, whenever you apologize for keeping your distance, whenever you worry you'll eventually lose yourself, he answers the same way every time.
"Then I'll stay close enough to remind you who you are. And if one day you can't remember..."
He smiles.
A small one.
"I've got a good memory. I'll remember enough for both of us."
omg ew pls excuse how i wrote this. maybe i'll go back and edit some things later. but i'll be away for quite some time and i wanted to at least get this request out before i go. and while i hate prioritizing quantity over quality, i feel bad letting this ask rot in my inbox for a whole week
lohen x adeptus reader who uses poison (like shinobu fromm kny) AND THEN MY LIFE IS YOURS
oh YO IMAGINE THE SPARS - BOTH OF YOU TRYING TO POISON EACH OTHER LMFAO
Lohen meets you and immediately thinks Mondstadt has been secretly hiring final bosses from Liyue. You say “hello” once and somehow the air pressure changes.
Lohen THRIVES on trying to get stronger. And what better way to get stronger than to par himself with an adeptus from Liyue?
He tries to ask you for a spar every 3 days. You reject all of them. Reason given: "I do not wish to accidentally kill you." And he IMMEDIATELY follows it up with "but i think it'll be neat."
Rejected.
His first time seeing you in action, Lohen deadass stared into the distance for 5 whole minutes afterwards. he nearly cried.
Lohen: "that was beautiful."
His subordinates: "Vice Captain, they just killed six mitachurls."
The poison parts fascinates him. "Poison? Paralyzes enemies? Brilliant. Can I borrow some? How deep does the stab need to go? What angle? How much force? Would this work against armored opponents? What if the enemy is taller? What if they're six feet? What if they're seven feet? What if they're Varka?"
he ADORES the ruthlessness of your fighting style. every thrust his poisoned? SIGN HIM UP.
The Fifth Company Has One Collective Goal: Keep Vice Captain Lohen alive.
This becomes significantly harder whenever you're nearby. Not because you'd hurt him. Because Lohen immediately says: "Hey. Fight me." (jean is so tired)
Fifth Company Knight: "…Sir, we have paperwork."
Lohen: "Later."
Knight: "…Lunch?"
Lohen: "Later."
Knight: "…Sleep?"
Lohen: "Later."
Knight: "…Adeptus [Name] walked by."
Lohen: "NOW."
Every time he sees you, his eyes light up like it's his birthday. Every time you see him, you walk in the opposite direction.
Attempt #1
Lohen: "Esteemed Adeptus [Name]! Duel?"
You: "…No."
Walks away.
End of interaction.
Attempt #17
He dramatically plants his spear in front of you, saying "Surely today's the day."
You simply…walk around the spear.
Attempt #38
He tries psychology. "If you defeat me, I'll stop asking."
You pause.
Lohen smiles.
"…No."
You keep walking.
He just watches you leave.
"…That almost worked."
It absolutely did not.
Attempt #62
He leaves a handwritten invitation.
Dear Esteemed Adeptus [Name],
Please fight me.
Sincerely,
Lohen
The reply arrives the next day.
No.
—[Name]
Lohen has a notebook on this btw. It is literally titled:
Methods To Convince Esteemed Adeptus [Name] To Fight Me
Inside:
Ask politely.
Ask less politely.
Offer food.
Compliment their spear technique.
Challenge their honor.
Fake dramatic entrance.
Real dramatic entrance.
Surprise duel.
Scheduled duel.
Holiday duel.
Birthday duel.
"Please?"
"Pretty please?"
"Pretty please with Jueyun Chilis?"
Every single one has:
❌ Failed.
Sucrose wants to conduct research on this dynamic.
Hypothesis: "How durable is Vice Captain Lohen?"
You: "Please don't encourage him."
Lohen: "Please encourage me."
Varka finds this hilarious
"Still chasing that Liyue adeptus?"
"…Yes."
"Progress?"
"…They accepted tea once."
"…Kid, that's not progress. Why are you trying to stab them?"
"I'm trying to get stabbed first."
He keeps asking for demonstrations.
Lohen: "Can you show me that stab again?"
You: "No."
Lohen: "Please?"
You: "No."
Lohen:"...What if I stand very still?"
You: "I don't think you're understanding me."
Theodore once overheard him asking you.
T: "... Lohen, they're saying no because they likes you alive."
Lohen misunderstands completely.
L: "So...there's a chance?"
T: "THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I SAID."
Theodore thinks you're both enormous weirdos.
Lohen is ridiculously toxin resistant. You have spent nine centuries inventing poisons specifically designed to kill monsters.
Which means…
You poison him and it works for approximately 3 seconds.
"…Hm."
"What?"
"You're still conscious."
"Yeah."
"Fascinating."
Lohen has never looked prouder.
Eventually this becomes a scientific partnership. Or at least, that's what you insist it is.
"I require a test subject in two days time."
"Me."
"You haven't heard the poison yet, Vice Captain."
"Still me. Let's go. Now."
"The antidote isn't finished."
"I believe in you, my dear."
Your own notebook starts looking increasingly ridiculous.
Test #41
Subject survived.
Test #56
Subject requested stronger dose.
Test #73
Subject smiled.
Test #74
Subject asked if there was "one that hurts more."
There is something fundamentally wrong with this knight."
You once said things like "A slash is unnecessary." or "If the poison functions correctly, there should not be a second strike." or "Missing is inefficient."
Lohen now thinks about these sentences constantly. His greatest dream is "one spar. just one. I promise I'll behave."
You don't even realize you're humbling him sometimes. Venti pointed out that you used Lohen as a projectile once.
This was a reward to him somehow.
Normal person: "I got completely outclassed 😐"
Lohen: "I GOT COMPLETELY OUTCLASSED BY AN ADEPTUS. IT WAS AMAZING. :D"
The other adepti hear from your letters and are now very confused. Granted, the letter you sent Zhongli was about a conversation you had with Lohen that went a little something like this:
Lohen: "You're incredible."
You: "…Thank you."
Lohen: "I'd trust you with my life."
You: "That seems irresponsible."
Lohen: "No, I mean it."
You: "I would prefer if you remained alive."
Lohen: "…"
You: "…"
Lohen: "…Adeptus [Name], you're making this difficult."
Eventually you start keeping tabs on him. One day he disappears and no one can find him. Varka asks you. You look toward a random mountain in the distance and say "he's over there." "how do you know?" "that's where the strongest monsters are." and sure enough, they find him exactly where you said.
Eventually everyone notices he says "Esteemed Adeptus [Name]" with the same excitement a child says "LOOK WHAT I FOUND!"
"Esteemed Adeptus [Name]."
"Esteemed Adeptus [Name], look."
"Esteemed Adeptus [Name], stab this."
"Esteemed Adeptus [Name], hypothetical question."
"Esteemed Adeptus [Name], can poison expire?"
Everyone assumes Lohen likes fighting you because you're strong, but you notice something else.
You never have to wonder what Lohen is thinking.
If you're stronger, he says you're stronger.
If you win, he says you won.
If you embarrass him, he laughs.
There are no hidden expectations.
No worship.
No careful reverence.
No pedestal.
Just:
"That was awesome."
"Thank you."
"...Again?"
"No."
mind you, lohen is like 23 or something. you are thousands of years old. lohen hears this information and his immediate response is "So they've got thousand years more combat experience......... excellent."
One Day... Maybe
Lohen: "So... Fight?"
You quietly look at him. Look at Varka. Look at Jean. Look back at Lohen.
"...Perhaps..."
Lohen's eyes light up.
"...when you have another thousand years of practice."
Lohen immediately starts counting on his fingers.
"I can work with that."
But honestly, he's weirdly respectful around you despite being.... well.... Lohen. He's incredibly polite outside of combat/sparring relateed things.
Always "Esteemed Adeptus [Name]." Never interrupts you while you're speaking. Always waits for your answer. Opens doors for you if you happen to be behind him.
The problem is…
He's also incredibly loud.
"GOOD MORNING, ESTEEMED ADEPTUS [NAME]."
"…Good morning."
He likes listening to your stories. like just
"…One time, Guizhong…"
"…"
"…Another time, Streetward Rambler…"
"…"
"…When Xiao was younger…"
Lohen is sitting there like a little kid at story time.
He never notices that half the room has gone completely silent because everyone else is also listening.
you two bond over being bad at small talk. his brain kinda stops working around your medical knowledge.
you think he's surprisingly easy to read. while everyone is wondering what vice captain lohen is thinking, you can tell he's hungry because he's been staring at jueyun chilis for the past 4 minutes.
you like that he's quite comfortable. not because he's quiet. because he isn't. but because lohen never tiptoes around you nor does he treat you like osme untouchable ancient adeptus nor does he bow every five seconds.
For someone who spent centuries trapped on a pedestal by other people's expectations…
Being treated like…
well…
just [Name]…
is strangely refreshing.
you'd never admit it aloud but when you visit Mondstadt and hear an excited voice somewhere in the distance yelling,
"Ah! Esteemed Adeptus [Name], lovely day, isn't it? Would you like to-"
you already know exactly who it is and without even realizing it, you start walking toward the sound.
please fix him because jean is SICK of hearing him saying "i think esteemed adeptus [name] could stab through my armor and i'd thank them"
the thing we first need to get straight about lohen is that man has absolutely no sense of self preservation when it actually matters (probably pre story quest)
he'll walk into monster-infested ruins. Alone. Smiling. Gets stabbed. "...Huh." Pulls the spear out. Keeps fighting.
Medics: "CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT."
"Doing what?"
the 5th company was WORRIED for you when you started dating. because the lohen that THEY know once walked into a morning briefing like
you fell in love with the man who voluntarily exposed himself to concentrated dandelion pollen so he'd stop being allergic and now misses the side effects.
the confession was.. weird.
he tried to give you poisoned flowers and you never knew it was from him
eventually he had to outright say "i'm trying to court you"
When he asked you out, it was somehow even less romantic.
"You make surviving the day more enjoyable."
"...Is that your version of 'I like you?'"
"...Yes."
"...I'll take it."
bro is literally a golden retriever trapped inside a battlefield gremlin
The Knights expected him to become softer after dating. They were... technically correct.
Around you.
Everyone else? Still a menace.
Five minutes after lovingly holding your hand... He's hiding in a tree waiting to ambush Varka with a net.
Emotional range:
😊 You.
😈 Varka.
he's surprisingly clingy. not dramatically. just.. always touching you somehow.
Holds your hand absentmindedly.
Hooks a finger through your belt loop if you're walking through crowded streets.
Rests his forehead against yours while thinking.
Wraps an arm around your shoulders without realizing he's done it.
If you're sitting beside him…
Congratulations.
You're now an armrest.
his love language is "i kept you alive. now kiss me"
brings you food because you forgot to eat.
repairs things before you notice they're broken.
walks on the side closest to traffic.
quietly checks exits every time you enter a building.
memorizes your routine.
Not because he doesn't trust you.
Because he wants to know where to find you if something goes wrong.
If you're injured?
He appears.
Nobody knows where he came from.
You barely finish saying:
"I think I scraped my—"
He's already wrapping the bandage.
his version of romance is "i found a really dangerous cave.... wanna go together?"
He genuinely thinks this is an excellent date.
Other ideas include:
hunting a lawachurl.
climbing Dragonspine.
investigating suspicious ruins
monster tracking.
"walking" (ends up covering twenty kilometers).
Candlelit dinner?
Sure.
As long as there's a monster nest afterward.
absolutely SHAMELESS eye contact. his sense of humor never improves either.
He already studies everyone.
His partner?
Even more.
You look up.
He's looking at you.
"...What?"
"Nothing."
"...Then why are you staring?"
"You smiled."
"..."
"...I wanted to see it again."
He says things like this with complete sincerity. Then goes back to casually sharpening a spear.
he's weirdly domestic. he loves helping with chores and claims it's "efficient"
Ends up making everything into a competition.
"Whoever folds laundry slower washes dishes."
"...Why?"
"Motivation."
Cooking together?
He follows recipes...
Exactly once.
Then starts experimenting.
"...Lohen."
"What?"
"...Why is there Jueyun Chilis from Liyue in the pancakes?"
"...Curiosity."
He trusts you.
Completely.
If you say: "I've got this."
He believes you.
Doesn't jump in unless you actually need help.
But if someone genuinely threatens you?
The smile disappears.
Immediately.
Even the other Knights suddenly become interested in something else.
He doesn't realize half the things he does are romantic.
Casually tucks your hair behind your ear while talking.
Brings you flowers because "they reminded me of your eyes."
Falls asleep with his hand still holding yours.
Remembers every tiny thing you casually mention.
Then acts confused when everyone calls him smooth.
"I just... paid attention."
his gifts alternate between a pretty flower, a rare ore, monster claws, handmade crossbow, expensive tea, incredibly toxic poison.
you eventually learn how ot be immune to his chaos
Everyone else: "WHERE DID LOHEN GO?!"
You: "...Ceiling."
Everyone: "..."
Lohen, upside down in the rafters: "...How'd you know?"
You: "You always hide there."
Lohen: "that's hot."
the 5th comany ships it so hard
his gifts are concerningly thoughtful
Normal people buy jewelry.
Lohen buys:
reinforced gloves
custom daggers
emergency medical kits
waterproof cloaks
specialized camping equipment
Then one day...
He quietly hands you a tiny carved wooden animal.
"...You made this?"
"Mhm."
"...When?"
"Couldn't sleep."
It's a perfect little carving.
You treasure it forever.
He pretends not to notice.
his pain tolerance is offensive. you asked him to rate his pain. he says 3. his arm is currently broken btw.
lohen usually sleeps like someone who's spent years in the field.
Very lightly.
One weird noise?
Eyes open immediately.
But if you're sleeping against him...
He relaxes.
More deeply than anyone has ever seen.
The Fifth Company notices he actually looks rested now.
One knight whispers:
"...They're good for him."
Another whispers back:
"...Don't tell him that."
varka's favorite hobby is watching you two be accidentally romantic in public.
lohen doesn't always say "i love you constantly". he says it. just differently.
"Tell me when you get back."
"Eat before you leave."
"I've already sharpened your weapon."
"Walk behind me here."
"Take my coat."
"You're tired."
And, perhaps his favorite:
"I've got you."
Matter-of-fact.
Completely unquestionable.
Because if Lohen says he's got you...
Then as far as he's concerned, the whole world would have to get through him first.
--
pls help me i'm falling down such a big rabbit hole for this man
HAHAH GET IT
GET IT
RABBIT
BECAUSE HIS CONSTELLATION IS
he'll announce (quite confidently, mind you) that he has organized a perfect date
ok yes cute great
but then the date somehow becomes:
getting lost,
finding a random apple tree,
listening to him tell a story about a squirrel he met three years ago,
and ending with him asking if YOU remembered what the original plan was.
He never remembers the original plan.
You eventually learn that "trust me" means absolutely nothing.
The alarming part is that everything somehow works out anyway.
he sometimes appears next to you with 0 warning. one second youre alone, the next second "good morning, my love!"
he was apparently sitting in the tree above you for 20 minutes.
He doesn't understand why normal people find this startling.
Sometimes he just materializes beside you holding half an apple and continues a conversation you had ~2 days ago.
you become a victim of spontanous music. every minor inconvenience receives a custom song (dropping a spoon, tripping, burning toast, sneezing). unfortunately theyre ALL catchy.
the wind snitches on you. you cannot hide ANYTHING.
he loves giving you gifts but theyre SO unpredictable. one day he gives you a beautiful flower crown. the next day he gives you:
a cool-looking rock,
a feather,
an apple he claims "had excellent vibes,"
and a leaf shaped vaguely(?) like a bird.
he also loves walking around monstadt with you. except walking through mondstadt with venti takes twice as long. because every 10 feet:
someone recognizes him,
someone owes him mora,
he owes someone mora,
someone asks him to perform,
or someone reminds him he is banned from somewhere (probs diluc from angel's share)
you become his emotional support person. venti jokes constantly, which means the rare moments when he's quiet and solemn are immediately noticable.
sometimes he'll stop in the middle of talking and just stare at the sky.
those moments tend to be when he actually wants company. yk just sitting beside him and not really saying anything. he never explicitly asks for it so he's always SO grateful when you stay anyway.
his definition of a walk is concerning. you suggest "let's take a walk!" venti suggests "what if we let the wind decide?" -> this is howyou end up 3 regions away from where you started. he calls this an adventure but dahlia calls it getting lost.
and yet, the most dangerous thing about him isn't even that he's powerful. or that he's ancient. or even that he's suspiciously good at talking his way out of consequences.
but it's that he remembers such tiny seemingly miniscule details. like the first flower bloom you pointed out months ago. your favorite weather. a story you once told and forgot about. a random snack you mentioned liking at good hunter. then 6 months later he'll casually bring it up.
Harry is the kind of boyfriend who automatically starts carrying things without being asked. Not in a macho way.
More in a:
"Why are you holding three books and a pumpkin juice? Here."
Five minutes later he's carrying everything and has no memory of how it happened. He absolutely folds blankets while talking. If he's sitting somewhere and notices a blanket is twisted, he'll absentmindedly fix it. One time you asked why.
Harry genuinely stared at you and went:
"Because it's annoying."
James Potter raised a tiny old man.
he's embarrassingly easy to fluster
Harry Potter looks like he'd be smooth. Harry Potter is not smooth. At all.
You kissed his cheek once. He forgot what sentence he was saying halfway through. Complete system crash. Brain gone. Blue screen of death.
Ron had to finish the conversation.
he's not naturally poetic. he isn't giving dramatic speeches. he isn't writing sonnets. his version of romance is "u looked tired so i brought food"
he has spent 16 years managing jonathan. it SHOWS. he carries spare tissues. spare bandages. spare chocolate. spare everything.
you once got a papercut. harry produced a bandage so quickly it looked rehearsed.
he accidentally acts married
Harry doesn't mean to. He genuinely doesn't. But he does.
Examples:
Saves seats.
Remembers schedules.
Packs snacks.
Knows where you left things.
Reminds you about assignments.
Checks whether you've eaten.
Carries hair ties around his wrist because you keep losing them.
The problem is that Harry thinks all of this is normal.
he secretly likes being needed
Not dependency.
Needed.
Difference.
Harry likes feeling useful.
Likes knowing he matters.
Likes being chosen.
If you ask him for help with something you could absolutely do yourself?
He will be delighted.
Not because he thinks you're incapable but because you specifically picked him.
his sleeping habits are terrible.
He falls asleep literally anywhere. Armchairs. Sofas. Common room floors. Library tables. Against trees. Against walls. Against you. Once he fell asleep during a study session. Woke up forty minutes later.
I have heard those four words so many times in the last three days that they no longer sound like real words.
The war is over.
The war is over.
The war is over.
People keep saying it softly, as though they are speaking to frightened animals. They say it in corridors and in the Great Hall and outside the hospital wing. They say it while crying. They say it while hugging each other. They say it while looking at the bodies.
The war is over.
And I think perhaps something is wrong with me because I keep wanting to ask:
Which part?
The part where Fred Weasley is dead?
The part where Remus Lupin is dead?
The part where Nymphadora Lupin is dead?
The part where Colin Creevey is dead?
The part where so many people died that I stopped being able to count them?
Or the part where Voldemort is dead?
Because one of those things happened. I'm not entirely convinced the other did. I woke up in the hospital wing three mornings ago.
At least I think it was morning.
The curtains were open, and sunlight was pouring through the windows in thick golden beams. Dust floated lazily through the air. Somewhere nearby, someone was crying.
At first, I thought I was still in the forest. I remember lying on the ground. I remember Hagrid crying. I remember thinking that it hurt to breathe. I remember the strange, awful peace of believing it was over.
Then I opened my eyes and saw the hospital wing ceiling.
For a long time, I simply stared at it.
I knew that ceiling.
I had spent enough time in this room over the years to recognize every crack.
I knew the fourth bed from the left squeaked whenever someone sat down too quickly.
I knew the cabinet near Madam Pomfrey's office had a broken handle.
I knew the way sunlight looked in this room.
I knew this place.
And I remember thinking:
Oh.
I didn't die.
I am still here.
I am not entirely sure what I felt about that and yet, I left the hospital wing the next day.
Hogwarts does not look like Hogwarts anymore. There are walls missing. Entire corridors are gone. Stone litters the floors. Windows have been shattered. Statues lie broken. Portraits have been ripped apart. There are scorch marks everywhere.
Everything smells faintly of smoke.
I stood in the Entrance Hall for a long time. I kept expecting someone to tell me it was temporary.
Surely, this wasn't really Hogwarts?
The funerals started today.
I did not know there could be so many.
The Great Hall has become something else entirely.
No House tables.
No banners.
Instead there are flowers.
Candles.
Rows and rows of chairs.
Too many chairs.
I remember Mrs. Weasley crying.
I remember George staring straight ahead and not moving.
I remember Ginny holding Jonathan's hand so tightly that her knuckles turned white.
I remember Professor McGonagall crying openly.
Then I looked at Harry, who was staring at the front of the Hall.
I followed his gaze.
Remus.
Tonks.
Remus had taught me to cast a Patronus.
He had made tea after lessons.
He had smiled at me in corridors.
Tonks once dyed her hair blue because I said I liked the colour.
Now they were dead.
Both of them.
Together.
I wondered if Harry was thinking the same thing I was.
That Teddy Lupin would never know them.
That his parents had died saving a world he would not remember.
I wanted to say something.
I didn't know what.
"Harry?" I eventually said.
He looked at me and I forgot what I had intended to say.
"Y/N?"
I looked at him. Then I said the only thing I could think of.
"I'm glad you're alive."
His face changed. He blinked. Then he smiled.
A very small smile.
"I'm glad you're alive too."
Then neither of us spoke for a long time.
I think there are some things grief makes impossible to say.
Or perhaps unnecessary.
I know this makes me a coward.
I think I can live with that.
For now.
The Potters asked me to stay with them first.
It was Lily who said it.
I remember her hands. I remember how careful she was with her voice, like she was afraid I might break if she spoke too loudly.
“Y/N… you can come with us. You don’t have to be alone.”
And I remember thinking—
I am always alone.
Even when I am not alone.
James stood behind her, trying to look steady. He wasn’t. None of them were. Not really. There’s something strange about seeing adults who are supposed to be unshakeable suddenly look like they are made of paper.
I said no.
I couldn’t stand the idea of being one more thing they had to carry while they were already breaking.
The Weasleys asked too.
Molly hugged me so tightly I couldn’t breathe properly and I didn’t even care. She kept saying I could come home with them, like home was something you could just be handed after everything.
Arthur just looked at me like he understood too much.
Ron didn’t say much. George and Percy didn’t either. Ginny just watched me. I said no to them too.
Because I don’t belong in anyone’s house when the world is still bleeding.
So I stood there afterward with nowhere to go.
It should be simple. You either have somewhere or you don’t.
But apparently there is a third category, which is: you survived a war and now you are just… here.
Harry disappeared for several days after that.
No one knew where he went.
People tried to find him, of course. People always try to find Harry when he disappears like that, like the world has decided he is something it cannot afford to lose even for a moment. But he was just gone.
I didn’t think much of it at first.
I thought maybe that was just what people did after surviving something like this. They vanish for a while. They break in private. Harry always seemed like that type of person.
I did not, however, expect him to come back covered in dirt and splinters.
He looked like he had been built out of exhaustion and stubbornness alone. He grabbed my shoulder and guided me into some sort of obscured forest.
He just said, very quietly, “I thought maybe… if you wanted somewhere quiet.”
And then he stepped aside.
A cottage?
It wasn’t grand. It wasn’t impressive. It didn’t look like anything magical at first glance. Just stone, wood, a chimney, a roof. Moss and ivy climbed up its walls. But there was a willow tree beside the cottage.
Harry didn’t look at me when he said, “It’s not much. I didn’t really… I just thought—”
He stopped.
He always stops like that when he thinks he’s said too much.
I remember walking toward it slowly. My hands were still shaking from everything else, from funerals and ashes and names being read aloud like they were nothing more than ink on parchment.
The fireplace inside was already set up. The rooms were small. Simple. There was nothing decorative about it, nothing unnecessary. Just warmth and structure and something that felt like it had been built by someone who didn’t know how to ask questions but knew how to stay.
Harry stood in the doorway.
“I thought maybe you’d want somewhere quiet,” he said again. “Somewhere no one would—”
He didn’t finish that sentence either.
I didn’t know what to say.
What does one even say in a situation such as this?
So I said the only honest thing I had left.
“I don’t know why you did this.”
And he looked at me then and said, “Neither do I.”
That should have been the end of it.
Harry is outside chopping wood like he is trying to split the entire world into something manageable.
synopsis: grief tastes like tea and whiskey and woodsmoke. love looks like a cottage with the lights left on.
--
In the weeks following the Battle of Hogwarts, Y/N L/N—the Girl Who Lived, the Chosen One, and the savior of the wizarding world—discovers that surviving is much harder than dying.
She has no home. No plans for the future. No idea what to do with the kindness everyone keeps offering her.
Especially not Harry Potter's.
Because Harry does something completely unreasonable:
He builds her a cottage.
And then spends the next eight months loving her with a patience she cannot understand.
--
things to know before reading:
stems off from my wattpad fic iterations
Y/N is the Girl Who Lived
y/n's mom, M/N, was a gryffindor and is a marauder. y/n's father, F/N, was a slytherin. they both died on 31 october 1981
remus is harry's godfather
harry has a younger brother named jonathan (ravenclaw) and he is in the same year as ginny
sirius is y/n's' godfather
Harry Potter is not the Chosen One/Boy Who Lived and has nothing to do with the prophecy. He grew up as a normal wizard with his parents James/Lily Potter, younger brother Jonathan, and his and Jonathan's godfather Remus Lupin who also lives with the Potters @ Godric’s Hollow. Everything that happened to Harry in canon now happens to Y/N instead.
DEALS WITH HEAVY THEMES LIKE ALCOHOL ABUSE (and recovery), PTSD, survivors guilt. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION
