hi, something has been distressing me a *lot* lately, so, sorry if this question is weird, but... am i encouraging self hate by calling the front opening between my legs my 'front hole'?? im really dysphoric about calling mine specifically by any other words (i dont have any judgement or discomfort with what other people call their genitals), but i got told recently (by another trans person) that im encouraging my own self hatred by avoiding using the 'proper' words for it... so now im worried. should i start using the more typical words for it? i dont hate myself, in fact i like myself and my body, but i dont want to encourage my old self hatred to come back... but calling it anything but 'front hole' just makes me feel really really REALLY dysphoric, to the point of almost crying. im not even dysphoric about *Having* it, in fact when i eventually get bottom surgery i want to keep it, but i get really upset when mine is referred to anything but 'front hole'. but i dont want to feed into the possibility of my own bodily insecurity coming back in force if its harmful at all to not call it by the typical words... so, do you think its harmful at all to keep calling it what ive been calling it?? thank you for this blog, ive learned a lot of stuff from you.
Hello! No apologies needed, thank you for trusting me to answer. 💞
So, sometimes we avoid things that make us anxious or feel negative things. It's a very natural instinct and it's actually pretty good for you as a general thing.
For example, often people avoid sticking their fingers in fire because it hurts; that's self-protection and it's good for you.
Where it can become unhealthy is when it becomes an obsession of avoiding things that make you feel anything negative or you find yourself avoiding so many things its hard or impossible to get anything done or enjoy yourself.
But using different language to exist comfortably in your own body isn't encouraging self-hatred and is very different from that. It sounds to me like you're encouraging a healthier relationship with your body by using words that make you less dysphoric and more able to live.
That's a positive thing, not a negative.
Also, that other trans person sounds like they've absorbed some bigotry and are just redirecting it at you, tbh. There aren't really "proper" words for genitals and if they heard, "I feel more comfortable using these words" and decided that's a negative, that's a them issue, not a you issue.
Honestly, think of it as if someone told you, "oh you can't use different pronouns, you're just encouraging yourself to hate your actual pronouns". It's not true, its unrealistic and its a frankly bigoted way to look at things.
If your friend says that shit again, tell them they're being hurtful, or that its not their business, or whatever you want, but don't listen to them.
You can call your genitals whatever the fuck you want, there's nothing harmful about that. Especially when its hurting no one and helping with your mental health!
I hope this helps a little. And I'm sending love, I'm sorry you've been dealing with that. 💞🫂 also 🥰🥰 I'm so glad you're enjoying the blog, I have such fun with it. :)
