closed.
hi everyone,
i’ve considered leaving this blog for a while now (since around the start of the first lockdown back in march of 2020) but never really plucked up the courage to. tumblr was my safe space for the longest time, a place where i uploaded my works for you all to enjoy. i started writing for NCT back in 2018 and am so proud of how much i’ve grown since then. from establishing neowritingsnet in early 2019 to all the amazing friends i’ve made on this site, i never would have expected this kind of outcome when i began writing over three years ago. if you had told me back in 2018 that i would have well over 4,500 followers in 2021, i would have laughed in your face.
but i’m tired. tired of the toxicity that comes with running a tumblr account. people have been hounding my ask box with hate messages and abuse a lot more often now. so much so that, before i made the decision to officially close this account, i decided to take some time away from tumblr. originally, it was meant to be a hiatus. but then i realised how much of a toll running this blog and the network took on my mental health.
in running this blog, i often feel pressured to write, which in turn means the works i put out aren’t ones i’m proud of and ones that i personally like very much. writing has become a chore for me, rather than something i love to do. i’ve tried to nurse my mental health (2020 was a shit year for me; i lost friends, family members and had other things happen which i don’t want to discuss) but have suffered both a relapse into my eating disorder as well as depression. running this blog was a large contributor to that.
as such, i’ll be dropping out of all of the collabs i am in: each collab organiser has been contacted separately. i am truly sorry for dropping out on such short notice and i’d be more than happy to help you find replacements and promote the posts if you so wish.
as i said before, lack of motivation to write is another contributor to me closing this blog. throughout my time on tumblr i advocated for readers to engage more with the content creators whose works they enjoy, through reblogging their works or sending them a kind ask. sure, placing motivation to write on the amount of engagement my works get is unhealthy, but it gets tiring when the notes-to-follows ratio of all of your works averages out to around one like for every thirty followers and one reblog for every seventy or eighty followers. in my time on this site i’ve seen the downturn in reblogging works and just how it affects content creators. it’s draining and made me hate writing. i’d think, what’s the point if i didn’t get any feedback or support?
you may have noticed that all of my works have been deleted, too. this decision was one i made as a way of preserving my works and the integrity of those works. call me selfish, whatever. in my time as a writer on tumblr (over three years) i’ve had to file close to eighty copyright claims on wattpad. i don’t want to have to run the risk of having my works passed off as someone else’s on other sites. so, i will be deleting all of them. as time has passed, i’ve grown to resent a lot of the works i’ve published.
so, this is goodbye. if we’re mutuals, you’re more than welcome to message me and ask for my socials! thank you for everything,
kai <3
