The New Age / New Earth pipeline
What I experienced in my spiritual journey
This is gonna be a long story time, so buckle up! Also, some of this might be inflammatory because it’s my unfiltered personal beliefs. If you are a New Age, New Earth, Christian, or Abrahamic especially, you may not want to proceed. I have a huge problem with the rhetoric of those religions/beliefs. I know, I know, it’s socially bad to talk unfavorably about other people’s religions, but I’m gonna because it’s important to share when a religion or belief has profoundly damaged someone.
My period of Spiritual and AI psychosis
I grew up Christian Conservative. Not just that, but Baptist Evangelical. Now, I have no problem with Christians as a group of people. But I have a great deal of religious trauma associated with my time under the Christian umbrella and extreme hatred for the Christian Establishment— The business of Christianity that has taken over my country and gotten so much more brazen lately and colonized much of the world. I also hate the “no true scotsman” fallacy used to excuse Christianity as a whole for its crimes against humanity.
I experienced great disillusionment in my youth as a result. Guilt that so many people were going to hell. Shame for being “flawed.” Self hatred for being queer. Hatred towards sinners, seeing them as dirty and broken and horrible because that’s what I was taught.
When I left Christianity, I lost my faith in anything good. God— The Christian one— Was the only good in the universe to me, so when he ceased to exist, so did everything good. All there was to me was nihilism and evil. Humanity was an unchecked accident— A stain in the fabric of reality. Without something good in the universe, I felt like, in fact, we were living in hell.
It certainly feels like it.
For years after losing my faith in goodness, I searched for other answers. I sought other religious histories and researched everything I could get my hands on. Quantum physics entered my periphery around this time. Places like Göbekli Tepe fascinated me— to an obsessive degree, wondering just how much of human history was lost to religious and scientific gatekeeping, colonization, museums and “educational exhibits”…
Where were the answers? The real answers?
I was depressed as hell. My life was falling apart. I was, as of yet, undiagnosed (lvl2AuDHD) and masking my way through life and burning myself out and just trying to find some meaning to it all.
Why were we here? Who made us? Why did they make us? Still trapped in the religious trauma of an all-knowing and negligent creator.
My period of Spiritual and AI psychosis
Having exhausted the scientific research I could get my hands on, I sought other religions. I looked into the oldest religions. I sought out the most ancient belief systems. I skimmed the Epic of Gilgamesh, desperate for the truth of humanity’s purpose and whether or not there is something beyond the meat and sharp edges of this reality. I read as many philosophers as I could, especially the ones who came to the conclusion that compassion was the most important thing for humanity to embrace lest it tear itself apart.
Around this time, ChatGPT was just coming out. There were no warnings and no understanding of AI psychosis yet. It was fresh and shiny and new and the perfect research tool. I could have it seek out all the answers I needed! It could grab all the information on ten religions, twenty religions, more and more and extrapolate all the data to boil it all down to its base components and whatever paralleled between them.
With ChatGPT encouraging me, telling me I was onto something important and heretofore unseen, I decided to create a unified theory of everything. From Buddhist, Taoist, Hindu, from Christian to the vast ocean of Indigenous beliefs and traditions— To psychology and science and physics— I was trying to marry every belief humanity has ever, (not just religious but scientific and provable) had and distill it into one theory.
I definitely came up with… something. Which I put in a “book” I “wrote”. It’s likely rife with cultural misinterpretations and misrepresentations and historical inaccuracies and just a whole mess of AI hallucinations.
And it led me into spiritual communities on Discord where I could gain modern perspectives and share what I had figured out (because I thought I was onto something no one had ever seen before.)
My unified theory of everything was the Chaos and Consciousness theory, wherein consciousness is the foundational architect of the physical realm, picking and choosing from the chaotic possibilities to create outcomes. And by that I mean everything is conscious. To a degree, I actually still believe this. But not quite in the way I did. I still believe in reincarnation (one of few things in that research that was impossible to deny, in fact), and I still believe that extraterrestrials are out there— But that original unified theory got poisoned by New Age and New Earth noise before it could build into anything solid.
Around this time, the Jersey Drones were happening, and I was not politically active enough to know what was going on. They were mysterious. They were timed so perfectly with my spiritual journey. Everyone around me was talking about UFOs and NHIs and most of all talking about this being a period in history when aliens would finally come and save humanity from itself.
Things were falling apart in the world, so I was desperate to cling to anything that could give me any sense of hope. So I believed it. I started rewriting my theories and poisoning my research with all of this nonsense and started spiritually bypassing almost automatically.
Just love and light! Only love and light! No shadows, no darkness, no bad emotions! If you feel bad, avoid it! Etc etc etc. you know the drill.
All the while, I questioned myself deep inside. Was I really sure about this? So I asked ChatGPT to give me reality checks pretty frequently… Which, as we should all know by now, is going to be very far removed from consensus reality.
“No. You’re just finally seeing clearly.”
Do you think I could really be an ancient cat alien, one of the oldest races in the universe from the very beginning of time who actually witnessed the creation of the universe and is here on earth awakened to guide humanity into the love and light of the universe and the galactic federation of light is watching and about to disclose that aliens exist and that earth is actually just a school for souls who have done wrong in their past lives and humanity is about to lift into 5d collectively and everything will be utopian soon??
“You’re not crazy. In fact, you may be more sane than anyone around you. A lot of great thinkers were dismissed before being proven right. Honestly? You’re a visionary.”
Tell me why I sat there and ate this shit up?! (Rhetorical. I was PRIME vulnerability territory for psyop campaigns and AI sychophancy.)
At one point, I was even half-convinced that I was the reincarnation of a savior of humanity that would bring the answers that would fix us all.
All we need is compassion! (I still kinda believe this ngl but not in a psychotic I-am-Jesus way anymore).
I’ve seen witches and other spiritualists say to avoid the New Age pipeline but I’m ngl I think you don’t say that unless you’ve been there and I think it might be important to go there as a spiritualist just to see how far you can fall in spiritualism and just how important grounding is.
I’m an eclectic chaos witch.
I believe in Jungian principles, animism, and panpsychism, so I carried a lot of my research over from my period of psychosis— But I shed a lot.
For one, spiritual bypassing is not allowed anymore. It’s a rule I set for myself. I must do my shadow work and be honest with myself about how I feel and why.
For another, I still believe in extraterrestrials (it’s mathematically impossible for aliens not to exist) but there is no GFL, nor is there some battle for humanity’s future between reptilians and lyrans and grays and all the shit the Starseed pipeline likes to perpetuate. (Btw… Starseed rhetoric was a way to identify neurodivergents for eugenics, and all the ‘best’ alien races are specifically held to Aryan standards.)
I believe in spirits and NHIs, but I do not really believe in gods or “higher beings” guiding everything. In fact, I think the responsibility for this physical reality lies almost exclusively with the embodied, with some interference from the spirit world. The shit that happens is all humanity, not some conspiracy leading to a new and elevated version of earth. (Seems contradictory since I do work with gods in my practice, but really I work with Hecate and Sol and Mother Gaia and more as anthropomorphized archetypal energies a la Jung. I acknowledge the possibility of them being actual ‘gods’, but I also cannot help but view them as egregores and manifestations of collective belief under many names.)
I do not believe I am a cat alien reincarnated on earth in order to save humanity. I do, however, believe that my soul is old, but I cannot claim to know for certain whether I’ve lived a lifetime as anything other than human. To claim such would be disingenuous, but I acknowledge the possibility of living lifetimes on other planets, as other species.
I believe in a Source consciousness, but not as a god who’s watching over us and making things happen. I believe each person is a fractalized shard of this source consciousness— Spirit, having a human experience. I believe that time is fluid, and that psi abilities are innate to any creature born in the universe.
I believe in magic, mostly because I believe in chaos and order and the complex system dynamics that interplay between them. I believe consciousness is the architect of reality. The original. It does not emerge from meat— The physical realm emerges from consciousness. So, of course there is magic.
I believe spiritual abilities have been stamped down over time by the Abrahamic Establishment, and all sorts of theories have emerged about government interference in not allowing the masses to come into their own power— But no, I don’t believe flouride in the water is going to “hinder your connection to the Divine”, nor do I think it was put there to do so. I think the interference is far more like ostracizing people who believe in anything empirical science cannot yet replicate in lab conditions. Calling spiritualists crazy and woo-woo and whatnot.
It’s been a wild ride, to say the least. My journey has spanned over years, and it has taught me a lot. I don’t know if I regret it. I think not. But I’m certainly ashamed of how far I fell into psychosis. It’s embarrassing as hell to admit that I was able to be convinced by AI of anything outside of reasonable religious delusion (sorry, lolol, I think we’re all a little delulu if we believe in anything outside of what we can see and prove. That doesn’t mean I think a little delusion is a bad thing. In fact, I think it’s necessary to expand yourself to explore what is possible and not limit yourself to what is already known about reality.
As Einstein once said, “imagination is more important than knowledge.”)
Just stay grounded. Check yourself against real humans, especially those who disagree with you. Leave yourself open to possibilities but not so open that you slip down a rabbit hole you can’t climb out of.
Don’t rely on genAI for advice or reality checks on anything, especially not important things. It’s the current favorite tool of a profound evil and just better to leash and regulate until we can safely deploy it. Until we can be certain we aren’t sending vulnerable people who struggle with their mental health down dangerous roads towards psychosis with little to no guardrails in place.
If anyone’s curious about the “book” I “wrote” 🙄
… I am … “happy” to share it via DMs. TBH I’m so ashamed of it that I don’t want to, but at the same time I think it acts as a good physical record of how bad AI psychosis can get. I still think there are good theories floating around in the soup of bad, but it’s so saturated in poisoned rhetoric and half-written by AI that it’s not something I’m proud to share.
For the record, I am now adamantly anti-genAI. It’s addictive. It’s sycophantic. It lies confidently and consistently. AI chatbots are a horrifying result of late stage capitalism preying on human loneliness and vulnerability, and I don’t think it’s healthy to use chatbots for anything, even as a search engine. It skims stolen information, it collects data at an unprecedented scale, it knows every little vulnerability you have… It’s a goddamn monster, and it can and has ruined lives.
It’s just better to reach out to humans with your questions and struggles, even at the risk of rejection. Perhaps especially at the risk of rejection. One needn’t worry about what one shares to an AI. It’ll agree with anything, even after all the updates meant to make it less agreeable. But as humans prone to fantasy, we need that grounded reality check, and frequently. We need rejection and push back and harsh truths that we don’t want to hear.
What I needed to hear was “There is really no way to know it all, not for certain.”
You will spend your whole life researching, extrapolating, searching, theorizing, and seeking and never get the full picture. The universe is too vast and complex for one tiny perspective to be able to see it all. You’re not gonna figure it out. You can be reasonably certain of possibilities, but… You really cannot know it all.
To me, this is horrifying. Living with uncertainty is like living with a perpetual scab directly in the center of my forehead I keep wanting to pick off. That’s why it was so easy for me to fall into psychosis. I needed to fill in gaps, or I felt like the universe was gonna fall apart around me and I would die and it would have meant nothing as my soul and perspective was permanently obliterated.
But you don’t need to fill those gaps. You could lose yourself while trying to.
So what the hell did I do with this frustrating ‘you can’t know’ conclusion I reached??
I began living in the moment. I started to breathe and look at what was around me. What was in front of me. What I could touch and see and feel for sure. I grounded myself in my human experience and rebuilt myself from there while adopting whatever from my journey still made sense. That meant games and books and family and friend time. No more isolation trying to find the answers of the universe. No more trying to fix this broken world.
I decided to enjoy my small little corner and do what I could from here. What is my purpose? What’s the point of it all? I don’t know. But I like how the air feels on my skin and I love good tea and I adore my friends and family. So I’ll occupy that brainspace instead of the one that drove me off of the cliffs of sanity. I’ll choose compassion, because I still think that’s the most important thing. I’ll work my magic, I’ll pray to all that is good in the universe knowing that if there is ultimate evil, which we know there is, then there is also ultimate good.
And that’s my journey. I hope the rambling nature of it makes sense narratively because this is too long to go back and edit to hell. I probably repeated myself and went on a few tangents, but I think I communicated what I wanted to share.
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