in my subconsciousness @chamberoftears - Tumblr Blog

“Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.”

— Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

thehopefulquotes

“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward you are always in the same place.”

— Unknown

thehopefulquotes

“Don’t give up. All of your hard work will pay off soon, stick with what you’re doing no matter how hard it gets.”

— Unknown

thehopefulquotes

“In search for reality, mind becomes your friend, soul becomes your path and material world becomes your illusion”

— S.S.K

thomashelbyswife

Tommy Shelby getting dressed and undressed and taking every ounce of my sanity with him <3

requested by: @cdiorj

A Letter to Abah

Dear Abah,

I miss you so much.

Sometimes, when I’m driving alone listening to my favorite songs, I suddenly wonder what you are doing right now... how you are doing. I really want to know. These thoughts are always on my mind. When I look at the kitchen window, I can still see the memory of you walking in after coming home from work. That memory is so vivid. How can I ever forget when there are so many memories of us in this life? I still need you. As time goes by, this longing only grows stronger. I’m sorry it’s been a long time since I visited your grave. Maybe that’s why I feel this way...

Forgive me for not being the best child.

Forgive me for all the mistakes I’ve made.

Forgive me for not praying for you as often as I should.

I try to be strong, but I feel like I’m failing. I pretend to be okay in front of everyone because I don’t want to burden them with my emotions. I don't want to be selfish. Writing this is the only way I can find some peace. I will keep writing these letters to you for the rest of my life. Forever...

Your daughter,

sbs

resqectable

“It wasn’t my day. My week. My month. My year. My life. God damn it.”

— Charles Bukowski, Pulp

tiredandlonelymuse

I am hanging from a hook in the ceiling

like animal carcass.

I am splayed open, salted and tenderized.

My fatty bits sectioned off with bakers twine.

Red juices weep from my wounds.

Not blood, but the meat sweating

for better flavor.

A heavy palm comes down hard on my rump.

He lifts from the flank.

He samples the breast.

Hunger animates his body but he knows he must wait until the meat is ready.

He massages oils into the fibrous texture.

Working it in with the strong flat pads of his thumbs and fingers.

The meat is shivering.

The meat is shaking.

I’m told this is a chemical process.

Even once dead and removed from the body,

the meat dances on the table.

Due to the residual energy and nerve endings present in the tissue.

The flesh will twitch.

But it must be ready.

When it is ready he’ll carve it off in slabs,

and drop them into his mouth;

a mouse falling into the mouth of a snake

hanging by the tail.

He’ll glide the knife under the muscle

and it will slide down his throat

but it must be ready.

The meat is hanging but will not dry.

It drips

and drips

more juices.

The air is escaping.

The tendons are loosening.

He ties her off again and again.

Soon little lamb.

Soon.

- MEAT 2024

thehopefulquotes

“I think part of the reason why we hold on to something so tightly is because we fear something as great won’t happen twice.”

— Unknown

A Letter to Abah

Dear Abah,

Another Ramadan is here, and once again, the memories of you come rushing back like they never left. They feel so alive, so vivid, that for a split second, I almost expect to see you sitting in your usual spot. But then the reality hits, and the tears start to fall. It’s been a long time since you left us, and while I’ve accepted that you’re gone, my heart still hasn't learned how to stop missing you.

To be honest, Abah, I’ve forgotten how to be happy during these times. Ramadan and Aidilfitri don’t feel like celebrations anymore, they’ve become just ordinary days that I have to get through. I find myself just going through the motions, indifferent to the festivities around me. Without you here, the 'color' of Raya is gone. It feels hollow. It feels unimportant.

People say time heals, but I just feel a deep, lingering emptiness. I don't have the heart to celebrate when the person who made everything special is no longer here to share it with me. I’m just taking it one day at a time, carrying your memory in the quiet moments of my prayers, even when my heart feels completely empty.

I miss you more than words can say.

Your daughter,

sbs