[dankmemeuniversity]

[bodyglitter]

me when i hear the keys jingle outside my door and i kno my alone time is up

[bittersuggestion]

Give yourself something to look forward to that isn’t a person

[mareya]

I’m the girl crying

[weirdnessisgood]

[jovan]

I’m crying

[fluffygif]

Lovely bulldog  |  Sound on 🔊  

[lesbianshepard]

"This is my cat Missy. It's short for Missile Launcher."

[satirizing]

i just want to say this is 1) excellent and 2) not uncommon…i work at a vet clinic and some of the names are so fuckin weird but i love it???? clients will be like “we call her stevie. it’s short for death metal steve” or “this is turkey but his LEGAL name is scarecrow jones” thank u

[mjalti]

[onlytwitterpics]

[catchymemes]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[brydeswhale]

We are all so fucked.

[fun-ta-mental]

Speak it into existence bidey!!

[blackberryshawty]

We manifesting

[cheekbonered]

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.

[guessed-starred-deactivated2025]

[lesbian-toddhoward]

im going to buy a car today

[originaldoll99]

why

[mxnrique]

LET HER SPEAK

[purified-zone]

i knew working 500 jobs and getting 3,000 masters degrees wasnt the healthiest way to live

[teathattast]

[temxyz-deactivated20220424]

vibe check

[teathattast]

[catchymemes]

[nunyabizni]

This man lives in a world that 99.9% of humanity is unprepared for