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[Kyle chuckles.] I know, I know. It seems hard to believe right? You know Emma don’t you?

Whoa you and Emma? Of course I know Emma I love Emma, I’m really happy for both of you man.

Oh, and there’s me thinking you were my best friend because I’m cute and have an amazing personality.

Oh trust me, it was my first day and a cute brunette gave me a good tip. But I didn’t give her my number as I would normally do since I’m now, officially, off the market.

You are my best friend for a thousand reasons, the free beer thing is just one of them.

Holy shit you didn’t give her your number? Wait--off the market? Who tied this player down?

Of course we will. Don’t we always?

We do--this is just a lot to take on and I don’t want to mess this up.

It’s cool. Drinks are on the house.

I think they might be. You should see if you can get a job there! They may be a little hesitant if they knew we were friends but I’m sure we’d do our work and not mess around. Well, only when the manager is looking anyway.

And this is why you are my best friend.

I’ll pretend like I don’t know you until they hire me but then once I get hired they are fucked. Yeah I need to hustle and make some good money, I hear you can make some pretty good tips at Applebee’s.

@chandlerbing: Looking for a second job..I think I'd make a pretty fine stripper. #magicmikeXXL

#twitter

I could look for a second one too? And then… the trust fund is always there as a backup.

We’ll get through this right? We’ll make this work?

Of course, now that you’re older you’ll just go to the seven - eleven and buy one. Silly old me, I need to start learning this things. Much better, we are getting married and no! It’s going to be in Lia’s backyard and we are going to have a banquet and everything so make sure your car looks nice and you know I’d say Iz too.. but she needs no reminders she looks runway ready every day. —— Dude! Omg why didn’t you take me with you? I could have been of help! Although stealing a car from people I want to be employed by might not be the best way to make an impression so hmm maybe it was better that way. I just heard gallon sized Nutella, my friend… you can bet that she’ll be sharing with me I’ll make her. I’m good that way.

Hey--I don’t think they sell ring pops anymore, I never see them anywhere--not like I’m looking or anything I’m just sayin’. So now I have to come up with something even more creative if I plan on poppin’ the question to her, jeez life is hard. I’ll make sure my car looks nice, I’ll take it to get detailed the day of the wedding and as for Iz I swear she rolls out of bed and looks like a fucking runway model I don’t understand it, I on the other hand have hair sticking up on all ends and somehow always lose my pants when I’m sleeping..Alright then good thing I have my personal snacks well hidden.

#ophelia

I swear you’re going to get me fired before I even had the chance to work there a week. But yeah, I’ll sneak you a free beer. No worries.

Nah I’m just messin’ man I’ll pay you just have to promise to look past my obviously fake id. Hey I’m lookin’ for a second job--they still hiring?

Yeah, that’s not how this is going to work — we will be the ones supporting our family. You won’t be relying on me, Chan. You’ll be going to work and paying your bills, like you have to. All I’ll be doing is supplying the extra money that we’re going to need for the extra person.

I’ll just get a second job--I’ll figure this out.

Yeah, I know… I mean, I know it isn’t an ideal way to live but — I just got access to my trust fund. You don’t have to worry about money, I promise.

I don’t want to have to rely on you for money--I’m the man I’m supposed to be the one supporting our family.

Okay okay, true. Let me know on the decision okay? I mean, you don’t have to but you can’t tell me something like this and leave me clueless. And Applebee’s.

I will let you now the second I find out, Applebees huh? I’m comin’ in tonight for a free beer.

I think it might be ostriche– that’s not even the point! You can’t hide from this man. It’s just… wow. You’re going to be a dad. This is a big deal.

I’ll be with you every step of the way, that’s what brothers do after all. I’m going to be an uncle! I’ve just got a job too so bills will be much easier to pay.

We still have to have the talk about what we are going to do--I don’t want to get my hopes up. Shit dude you got a job, where at?

Dude… I honestly don’t know what to say. Congratulations? Look, don’t worry about this. I’m sure whatever decision you both make will be the right one. And this doesn’t ruin anything. Personally I think you’ll be a great dad.

Thanks--that means a lot Kyle. I just want to pull a flamingo move and burry my head in the sand and just hide. Fuck is that flamingos that do that or ostriches? I don’t even fucking know.

Yeah, I’ve thought about it. A lot. I just — I don’t know if I can get rid of him, Chan. Or her, either way. But I don’t want my opinion to sway yours, okay? Just… tell me the truth — what do you think?

I honestly don’t know what to think. I mean of course I’ve always wanted to be a father I just didn’t think it would happen so soon. I wanted to graduate college first, have a good job so I could support my kid and be nothing like my father. It’s nice I’ve got a scholarship so I don’t have to worry about paying for school but damn I have other bills too you know? I can’t imagine how expensive a child is.

You cheap ass, what do you mean you gave her a ring pop from the sandbox? I’ve gotta have a serious talk with Iz about this. Make sure that the next time you propose, and you will propose or so help me West I will find a way to hurt you. Anti marriage, hmm that’s a new one I mean I guess it’s not crazy but then again you are talking about the girl who is expecting to grow old alongside her car. One day, all of you will see I will find a way to make that union legal and Maxim and I will ride of into the sunset with a bit “I told you sign” on our ass. Just wait for it. —— Wait. Wait. You have a past as a criminal, dude! Be fair tell me, I’m all ears we are not moving this spot until you share that story. Don’t tell me it’s one of those hangover type things it is isn’t it? Whose tiger did you steal? Mom and pop shops, I don’t know I find them odd but it might just be my inner white girl talking. If I were friends with Ross, I’d punch him in the face, although oddly enough he and Monica remind me of my brother and I. Might be why I never watch it anymore but whatever… Ice cream, Nutella, cookies, brownies all of the junk food C, just give it to me. Say yes, it will save you an argument because trust me you’ll lose I don’t joke about food.

I mean that I was sitting in the sandbox and I felt like it was a gift from the Gods because there it was in the sand underneath one of the pales and shovels that we had. You know I was little and it seemed like a sign to me okay, now I obviously wouldn’t be digging in sandboxes in search for ringpops, I’m older now I’m more mature. If you and Maxim get married--I’m sorry, when you and Maxim get married is it going to be at a drive ins or something? It was a drunken spring break in Mexico that involved a bar fight and something like stealing a drug cartels car? I’m not sure the whole night is kind of a blur. You’re in luck because I just went grocery shopping yesterday so all the junk food can be yours, though you might have to talk to Izzy about the Nutella I found like a gallon size one because now that she’s pregnant she goes through that shit like it’s going out of style.

Not yet. We have a couple more months until we can find that out — if you want to find out, that is.

Have you thought about--are we keeping him--er or her?

My daddy has taught me how to kill a man with my bare hands but.. never, little ol’ me? Wouldn’t hurt a fly, I promise.

Your bare hands huh? I have to say that’s pretty impressive--but I could see you kickin’ ass if you needed to.

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