Change A Heart Franciscan Volunteers

Follow the year long journey of the Change A Heart members as they navigate a new city, volunteer full time at different non-profits, and live out their year of post grad service.

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“How many are your works, LORD! In wisdom you made them all...”  –Psalm 104:24

As many of you know, much of my service this year is done at the Sto-Rox Public Library.  Serving at a library has its advantages, notably including daily access to all that the Allegheny County libraries have to offer.  Among the offerings?  Space documentaries!

As a child, science was always my favorite subject…so much so that I chose Albert the Great as my Confirmation saint, specifically because he was the patron saint of scientists!  And among the fields of science, astronomy was particularly fascinating.  Being from a very rural area, it was much easier to see the night sky than it is in Pittsburgh.  And thus, it was much easier to be fascinated by the stars, the moon, the endless stories told in the sky.  The constellation Orion would appear every fall, standing alert above the dog barn every morning before school, alerting the world that winter was soon to arrive.  The Perseid meteor shower would send blazes of fire across the summer sky every year, just in time for my birthday.  The Big Dipper would point the way to Polaris, just one little point in the sky that has told humanity for millenia how to find their direction for trade, for exploration, even for freedom.  Timeless knowledge is truly held in the heavenly luminaries.

On our first retreat with the Change a Heart program, the retreat center had a book full of beautiful pictures from the Hubble telescope, alongside deeply spiritual quotes from countless awestruck scientists.  One astronomer said that, every time he peered through the telescope, it felt like peering straight into God’s imagination.  This little insight has given me an even deeper appreciation for the night sky.  With the help of science, we can see deeper into Creation than the Psalmist could ever imagine.  With the eyes of faith, we can have an even greater appreciation for who God is.  As the Catechism says, “Methodical research in all branches of knowledge, provided it is carried out in a truly scientific manner and does not override moral laws, can never conflict with the faith, because the things of the world and the things of faith derive from the same God. The humble and persevering investigator of the secrets of nature is being led, as it were, by the hand of God in spite of himself, for it is God, the conserver of all things, who made them what they are.”  –CCC, 159.

Beautiful as it is, we don’t have to look at the night sky to see God’s imagination.  We can see His imagination in the variety of food at the grocery store, in the air that we breathe, in the metal He made that makes our buildings possible.  “Let there be light,” He said, and now His gift of light shines through thousands of little pixels as I write this article.  Centuries of scientific research have harnessed Creation so well that we can bring glass, electricity, metal, even light itself into a grand symphony of cooperation, capable of displaying articles & photographs & a friend’s gentle voice on a little box in our pockets.  What an imagination God has!  What generosity He has, in letting us participate in His imagination.  “Let us praise him the more, since we cannot fathom him, for greater is he than all his works” –Sirach 43:28.  How much greater is the Artist than the artwork He creates!

“That’s one of the joys I get from doing science as a Jesuit; by playing with the Universe I play with God, and thus I get to know God. I get to see his quirks and his personality, His way of doing things, his special brand of subtlety—that is His sense of humour.”  –Br. Guy Consolmagno, S.J., Director of the Vatican Observatory.

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Enough Light

My youngest sister (she’s almost five years old) constantly amazes my family with her words and actions. She makes us laugh and fills our hearts with so much joy. This Christmas, she was fascinated with the lights on the Christmas tree in my family’s living room. She would often switch off all the lights in the house (she was ecstatic when she discovered that she was tall enough to do that) to accentuate the lights on the tree. When she did that again on a night I was working on my mum’s hair, I begged her to switch on all the lights because I couldn’t see what I was doing; that the lights on the tree were not enough. She said, “No, they’re enough, try it!”

Celebrating Christmas ended the season of Advent, the season of awaiting the good news of Christ’s birth. However, we still wait ‘in joyful hope’ in different parts of our lives. As we wait, it is important to remember that God is with us, Emmanuel, Chukwu nonyere anyi. Even after the Christmas lights have been taken down, God’s light shines within us and illuminates our hearts and minds to bring us peace, clarity, and hope.

After going back and forth for a while, I finally convinced my little sister to switch on the lights in the living room. However, she was still convinced that the lights on the Christmas tree were enough for making parts in my mum’s hair at night. I was too focused on my task at the time and just wanted to finish it quickly, but perhaps she was right, and if I had exercised a little faith and a lot of patience, it might have worked. In this New Year, I am reminded that no matter how faint, light is light, and sometimes, a glimmer is all you need.

Favour

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Silent Spirituality

It sometimes happens that the smallest things have the most significant impact. The things that no one expected to matter become the most memorable things of all. A beautiful example of this played out over a warm November weekend, at the Kearns Spirituality Center. All of us agreed it was a very lovely building…but the part of the building that really stood out to me was so bland and insignificant that it was never even discussed. It was overlooked, rushed through, only used to get to a part of the building worth talking about. And yet…this very boring hallway was one of the most significant parts of the retreat for me.

You can see the hallway in the picture above. Not much to it. Hit a light switch, and the lights flicker for a few seconds before deciding to stay on. But I wouldn’t be talking about a hallway this much if there wasn’t something more to it than flickering lights.

You see, this hallway looks exactly like the hallway in the fantastic movie, Of Gods and Men. The movie is based on a true story of a French Trappist community in Algeria. The movie opens quietly…subtly…no dialogue, no music. Just is a long, boring hallway, lined with doors. Someone hits the light switch. The lights flicker for a few seconds before deciding to stay on. And out of every door, the monks emerge, en route to the chapel to begin their day in beautiful communal prayer.

The hallway itself was very insignificant in the movie…but when I saw the hallway in the retreat center, it instantly reminded me of the hallway in Of Gods and Men. Here in the spirituality center, with a Tabernacle in the chapel downstairs, and the doors to little rooms, like monastic cells…I felt like I walked into the world of the movie. Quite unexpectedly, I felt like I had walked out of the volunteer house and walked into a monastery.

After leaving this retreat and returning to my service site (Focus On Renewal), I was trained on a new responsibility: wrapping books. It is very simple, repetitive work, putting a plastic cover around a book jacket & taping it down. Doing so gave me a much-appreciated break from the front desk, and set me in a quiet corner of the building. In my little corner, my impromptu hermitage, it was just me and the books and a few simple materials. And God.

I learned that day why the Trappists can work so much with such a deep faith. Wrapping books kept my hands busy, and my mind at prayer. I was doing something useful, but not something stressful. I worked in silence, repeating the simple task for book after book. It kept me busy for a couple hours. I never expected such immersion in Trappist spirituality from a Franciscan program, but I learned that day that Trappist contemplative work meshes perfectly well with Franciscan contemplative prayer. I could see God in all of Creation, even as I made use of human creations to protect these new books. Seeing God in something as simple as a hallway led me to see God in a simple task at the library. I had a deep gratitude for this new responsibility at my service site.

The retreat had nothing to do with Trappist spirituality; it had nothing to do with finding God in our work. But then again…much of the retreat was focused on how well we listen. By transporting my mind into the realm of Trappist spirituality, the retreat house itself taught me how to listen while I work. Listen to God. Listen to the sounds of the library. And when someone came up to ask me a question while I was working & listening, I understood why monks are often described as being gentle. My mind was so focused outward, I had no agenda to push on the person, no schedule in mind that he was interfering with. No reason not to listen. I was just appreciating quiet time with God. And when someone made in the image of God comes up to someone who’s contemplating God, well…why wouldn’t I listen to them well, and why wouldn’t I be gentle? My work & prayer were so mingled, it ceased to be about me. Even if I was interrupted, so what? My work was a prayer; how quickly I get it done did not concern me. Talking with a person can just as easily be a prayer. The Trappists & the retreat house taught me a very peaceful way to live.

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The Beauty of Simplicity

Near the Francis house, there are some stairs that run through the woods and create a shortcut to the train (T) stop at the top of the hill. While climbing those stairs recently, I noticed that everywhere seemed bare – as though all the trees had suddenly disappeared. Upon further contemplation, I discovered that the trees were still there but all the leaves had fallen. I had become so accustomed to being surrounded by the thick greenness of the trees and nearby plants while climbing those stairs that the absence of the leaves surprised me.

The reds, yellows, browns, and sporadic greens that mark the peak of the autumn season are absolutely beautiful. However, I have also found that after the leaves have fallen and the trees are left bare, there is a profound – perhaps less admired – beauty in that as well: the beauty of simplicity.

This year, I am trying to appreciate the simple things in my life and celebrate every win, no matter how little. I celebrate every train I barely catch, every time I make something that Alex or Pat do not think is too spicy - which has been quite a challenge - or every night that I manage to finish my night routine promptly in order to get an adequate amount of sleep. My life this year is slowly morphing into a routine, and I am trying to celebrate the different parts of that routine - the little wins. My goal is to avoid the extremes of unproductiveness or being needlessly busy (phrase courtesy of Yoga with Kassandra) and find a way to toggle somewhere in the middle. While I appreciate the vibrant times, I am equally trying to appreciate the times that are bare and normal...the routines.

As we go through this transition from the falling of the leaves to the anticipation of snow, I invite you to embrace the simple things in your life. A smile, a hug, lunch, your screensaver, the smell of the morning coffee or tea, or the wonderful feeling you get when you climb into bed after an especially long day.

-Favour

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I have always loved photography.  Much of my childhood & teenage years were spent snapping pictures on 200 speed film, with film cameras I picked up for a couple bucks from Goodwill.  If I got a good one, I could turn the flash on or off…if I got a really good one, I could even zoom the lens in & out!  Armed with low film speed, cheap cameras, and no formal training, I just took pictures for the sheer joy of photography.  And people have always said I had a good eye for this art form.

My appreciation for photography reached new heights when I got a digital camera for Christmas last year.  As cameras go, it’s nothing fancy…but compared to what I had before, this little camera is exploding with potential!  This little camera has come with me to the hills of Eastern Kentucky, the streets of downtown Columbus, the woods of rural Indiana…and as this shot shows, it even came with me to a bus stop in McKees Rocks, where I am currently serving at Focus On Renewal.  It was a lovely morning at the bus stop…this photo was not planned, but was a spontaneous realization of, “This would make a great shot!”.  Part of the joy of photography is seeking out the beauty of the world.  Yet even more joy is found when the beauty of the world shows up when you least expect it.  Who would’ve guessed that taking Bus Route 22 to work would’ve dropped such a beautiful scene before my eyes?

Yes, I am a man who appreciates photography…but even more so, I am a man who appreciates God.  Much care was put into getting this picture just right…but all I am doing is capturing an image of something that was already created.  I stood at the side of the road, looking upon the beauty of this morning...and added nothing to it.  The beauty was already there.  The beauty is still there.  I did not add to Creation–I simply recorded what God had put there, what God had made possible with His creations of natural beauty and human ingenuity.  After God created, He looked at what He had made, and declared it good.  After God created, I look at what He has made, and I have to agree with His judgment.  Rivers, plants, metal, electricity, air and sky and what the people He created were able to create…I look on all of this, and take a special moment to simply stand in awe.  Part of that moment was spent with the camera, so that you too may stand in awe at what I didn’t create.

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Trust

The Igbo expression for trust is ‘ntukwasi obi.’ Ntukwasi means ‘to place upon,’ and Obi means ‘heart.’ Therefore, ntukwasi obi means ‘to place one’s heart upon.’

The heart is considered in many cultures and contexts to be the soul, the definition, the life force, of whatever embodies it. In the human body, it is the main pump that serves the ‘plumbing’ for the entire body, and almost everyone can attest to its great importance. When the heart stops, it is not good news. So, to the Igbo people, to trust someone is synonymous with placing one’s heart upon them and believing that they will safeguard this important life force.

I love our Change A Heart Volunteer house – the Francis house. The first time I walked into it, I felt a warmth that I cannot explain; almost like I was being embraced by the love and joy that the previous occupants had poured into it. All around the house, there are signs that remind you of God’s loving presence, especially in the living and dining rooms. The one that currently resonates with me the most sits on a ledge in the dining room and can be seen when you walk into the room directly from the kitchen. It reads, “Be still and know that I am God” from Psalm 46:10.

My current understanding of that verse is that it invites us to utterly trust in God, even to the point of inactivity. In our modern world, it is a challenging kind of trust. That sounds a bit repetitive, since to trust someone – to place your heart upon them – is a great challenge already. However, this verse adds a different layer to that challenge. In our fast-paced world, it asks us to be still. In an age of efficiency, of time management and trying to “seize the day,” it asks us to wait, to trust.

I had seen that sign several times before but only noticed it recently. Alas, another repetition. What I mean is that I always read it with a certain kind of familiarity, but it was only brought into my consciousness a few weeks ago, almost like it had developed a new meaning. I recently took a very important test, one that has great bearing on my access to my desired career path, and I performed poorly. My poor performance was not a result of poor preparation – quite the opposite. I had studied extensively for it and performed very well on all my practice tests. So, receiving the poor score was shocking and devastating for me. Of the many comforting things that Pat said to me while I cried about it over the phone, one stood out to me. She said, “this is the time to trust God and trust completely.”

Those words provided – and still provide – great comfort to me. However, as with most traumatic events, there were pockets of time when I forgot those comforting words and wallowed in my misery. On one of those wallowing events, I was seated at the dining table, facing that sign. And then I noticed it. Not just seeing it, I became aware of it. And like a lasso pulling me back into God’s loving embrace, it calmed my racing mind. Be still and know that I am God.

We all encounter difficulties in life, some great and some small. Often, the situation is so foggy that we cannot see through it, causing us to lose our balance and stumble. However, Psalm 46:10 reminds us that sometimes, it is okay to stay still. To let go and let God. To listen. To trust completely.

I know it is hard. As someone who strives to control the different aspects of my life, staying still is difficult for me. But when faced with something as uncontrollable as the impact of my test score on my future career, I am invited to trust God. You could say that I have no choice but to stay still, since I cannot change what has already happened. I wish I could tell you that I am now on the other side of that story and that everything worked out in the end. But I am not. My story is not yet finished, and I do not know the end. But in this current fog, I am learning to see the light of God. I am trusting God completely, whatever the results of that trust may be, and I invite you to do the same.

As I continue this year of service, this is my mantra: Tukwasi Chukwu obi; place your heart upon God; trust in God.

-Favour

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My 7 Church Walk Experience

Hello everybody, and happy (still) Easter! Before Easter, we got to celebrate the Triduum. I had never gone to a Holy Thursday Mass before this year in Pittsburgh, and I was excited to see what it was like. I learned that after the Holy Thursday Mass it is a tradition to go on a 7 Church Walk in many areas throughout the world. How it works is at the end of Mass they put the Blessed Sacrament in the Altar of the Repose (since they do not consecrate the host for Good Friday’s Mass). They then keep all of the churches open until midnight so people are able to sit and pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament. After Mass I went on my first 7 Church Walk with a group of Young Adults at the parish I was at (sadly we had to take the car due to time constraints). There were so many different things that made this an incredible experience for me: being able to visit Jesus seven times in different churches, being able to see all of these different churches in Pittsburgh I’d never been to, going late at night when most churches would generally be closed, and seeing all of the different groups and families out doing the same exact thing that we were doing.

St. Patrick’s Church, one of the Shrines of Pittsburgh, was one of our church stops, and the others in my group were excited for me to see the Holy Stairs. The Holy Stairs, a replica of the original now located in Rome, were the steps Jesus had ascended to be judged by Pontius Pilate during his Passion. The one in St. Patrick’s is one of three replicas made in the U.S. and of 18 in the world. The 28 marble steps are meant to be ascended on one’s knees, each step accompanied by a prayer. It is meant to be uncomfortable to help remind you of Christ’s suffering during his Passion. It was such an amazing experience, and going to St. Anthony’s Chapel as one of our other stops made it an even better night. Without getting into too many details, St. Anthony’s Chapel houses more than 5,000 relics! That is the second largest collection in the world outside of the Vatican! Pittsburgh has such a rich Catholic history that I don’t think many expect until finding these spots. It was great learning about these places and the history of them on my first, and definitely not last, 7 Church Walk.

-Kaitlin

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Many times, I had had the idea that the people closest to God are people who spend the whole day happy, or believers are always excited, because they have things super clear because they always have or feel close to God.

But the reality is that they are people who spend most of their time feeling cold, doubts and a lot of fear. And despite all that, they continue to believe in God... They believe in his mysteries, even though they don't understand them, they believe in his love, even though they may not feel it, and many times they believe in him, even though they have many doubts. As Blas Pascal puts it, "Something would not require faith if the proof of it were absolute." And as Peter Wehner explains best in his article “Why Do Christians Believe Faith Is Better Than Doubt?” – “Perhaps the key to understanding why faith is appreciated so much in the Christian tradition is that it implies a trust that would not be necessary if the existence of God were subject to mathematical verification. What God seeks is not our intellectual consent, but a relationship with us. That is, after all, one of the purposes of God's incarnation in Jesus." It is like in a relationship between parents and children, or between a married couple or boyfriends, there is trust, and many times we cannot explain it, but it exists. The same thing happens with love, it is something we feel for someone else but that cannot be explained.

Imagine the apostle Thomas who doubted the resurrection of Jesus and who said “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe ” Jesus appeared to him eight days later and said “Put your finger here, and see my hands, and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe” and then Jesus' response “Blessed are those who have not seen yet have believed”. Many needs proof but for others the faith is enough. According to Christian tradition, Thomas went on a mission to India, where he was martyred. I suppose that putting his hand in the side of God had nothing to do with what his heart told him.

In these times in which we live with so many wars, sufferings, and diseases it is very likely to doubt, and I do not think that doubt bothers God, rather it can be the way to get closer to him, or as Wehner mentions in his article " Emphasizing faith is not expelling doubt. In fact, it is precisely to take doubt seriously”. Because many times doubt results in stronger faith.

Diego

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As our journey through Lent comes to an end, I have taken some time to reflect on this opportunity to go deeper with God in our relationship. I have come to appreciate that faith is a journey toward God and doing so requires searching inward to “transcend this world and contemplate the one above” (Ilia Delio, O.S.F.). As humans, the senses we have are limited. Seeking God involves not just looking around the earthly realm and taking in creation but acknowledging the spiritual realm and exploring there as well. Searching for Truth (capital T) must involve transcending this world we live in, moving outside of our desires and personal pleasures, and coming to know what already exists, not discovering something “new” or “true to only yourself”. We must “flee the world” in a sense, to seek God.

Spending four years at Providence College the word veritas (Latin for truth) was plastered all over campus and even engraved in my class ring. There I came to know the Truth of Jesus and aspired to be like Him. Something I have found so powerful in my search for God is the importance of the renunciation of one’s own will to uncover God’s will – His Providence. Jesus Himself is the perfect example of this as He repeatedly reminds the disciples that “For I have come down from Heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of the One who sent me” (John 6:38). He calls us to resign oneself to God’s will, to live your life for God. To live your life for God is to live the virtue of foresight – seeing God as the source of our life and making choices in authentic recognition of His love.

I have been reflecting a lot on next steps for the future. Not just what “I want” for myself or what my own goals for my life may be, but also trying to discern where God wants me to be. It is hard to trust and very easy to fall into patterns of negativity, thinking that God has abandoned me at times in my life. But we must trust in God’s Providence, whatever sufferings He permits in our life can be turned into hope.

I believe this is a normal part of the spiritual life, for even Jesus’ last words that He cried out on the cross were “My God my God why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46 RSVCE; Mark 15:34 RSVCE). For because Jesus has attributes of God and humanity fully expressed and fully powered, in this moment for Jesus, there is despair for death. But, in the words of the Psalms that He references, there is also hope for deliverance – God’s will for Jesus, to free us from the slavery to our sins. Jesus still has trust in the God of the Universe. He has submitted to God’s will to that very last moment, for He knows what Scripture teaches: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). There is a terrible beauty in this death in that it shows us that God loves us by taking our place on the cross and dying in our stead.

"The message of the cross is complete absurdity to those who are headed for ruin, but to us who are experiencing salvation it is the power of God." (1 Corinthians 1:18-19). There is hope in the cross. Jesus, I trust in You.

-Carina

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This month I am angry. This month we are suffering.

This month I am angry. I am angry that the shelter is closing. I am angry that these men are left outside to suffer. In fact, I am angry that there is injustice and suffering in the world. Perhaps I am angry that I suffer.

A sculpture of Jesus on the cross that resonates with me when I am angry at injustices is The Tortured Christmade by Guido Rocha (pictured). In his portrayal, Rocha forces the viewer out of their comfort zone in viewing a startling representation of the crucifixion that starkly contrasts many previous artist’s peaceful, passive representations and it has become one of my favorite representations of the crucifixion. Throughout Jesus’ life, He is on the side of the marginalized, the oppressed, and calls the oppressors to conversion. Rocha’s Christ shows an image of Jesus as someone who identifies with the oppressed and suffering, but powerfully rejects this abuse. He is shown as powerfully human in his suffering and consequential rage. He is not passively accepting his fate, but is choosing to sustain it while fighting against the injustice. He is suffering, but He is not defeated.

I believe that God chooses to be affected by what affects the world as the essence of love is to be affected by what is happening to those you love. I believe that in the case of the crucifixion, God is compassionately present with Jesus as He suffers. This emphasizes that God is pure love. To believe that God willed Jesus to suffer makes God something closer to evil. However, to believe that suffering enters the being of God would be to glorify suffering. Jesus was condemned unjustly and was a victim of human sin. Jesus suffered due to the collective sins that have plagued the Earth. He died because of the injustices that he worked to fight, and therefore, to minimize this by claiming that God willfully handed him over to be killed is, as theologian Elizabeth Johnson puts it, “to blame God for what should be laid at the doorstep of human injustice.”

While many portrayals of Jesus’ death imply hope of the resurrection, Rocha’s portrayal exemplifies the horror of Jesus’ crucifixion. As Elizabeth Johnson describes the crucifixion, she notes that “God as pure positivity enters into compassionate solidarity with Jesus on the cross…Then God overcomes the evil of death through the eschatological act of resurrection, conquering and undoing the negativity wrought by human sinfulness.” From this view, the cross does not save us. In fact, the cross is a place of horrific defilement and an image of collective sin. We are therefore saved despite the cross, not because of it.

During the crucifixion, God is not suffering, but is also not passive. God cares deeply that there are people suffering due to injustice and uses love and compassion to be in solidarity with those, like Jesus, who are fighting for justice. This perspective is exemplified by Rocha’s portrayal of Jesus as He is experiencing inhumane, disgusting defilement. This is the type of suffering that is not to be glorified and not to be minimized. From Rocha’s portrayal, Jesus is screaming and thrashing until the end. Because God is in compassionate solidarity with him, He has the courage to continue to fight.

The cross opens a pathway for the suffering of this world to be taken to God and God brings back love and healing. Rocha’s portrayal of Christ emphasizes His suffering, but also His passion and courage in fighting against injustice. He remains angry at the corrupt powers that create inequality. The horrific suffering was not willed by God, but is not meaningless. Perhaps the best way to be resilient in the face of suffering is to endow it with meaning. There is meaning behind the redemption that occurred when Jesus came back to life. There can also be meaning behind the life of a new resistance against injustice, knowing that God is in solidarity with the victims of injustice, and with those fighting against it.

We are called to overcome suffering by modelling ourselves after Jesus as liberator. When we cannot do this, we are called to express compassionate solidarity with the victims of injustice just as God does. Perhaps I will remain angry at the injustices of this world, but I will also give compassionate solidarity and love and good old fashioned try.

-Emma

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A Modern-Day Good Samaritan

Every week I volunteer to teach CCD Religious Education to 4th graders. Last week we were learning about how every one of us has value as a human person, and the Good Samaritan parable was in the lesson plan. I decided to do an exercise with them where we made our own modern-day version of the Good Samaritan. Their story took place in a mall and one of the students who I will call ‘Claire’ in our classroom had passed out from a wound on her head. The first two groups of people they picked to walk by Claire were three women shopping and then a U.S. president with her Secret Service agent. Both of these groups looked on with disgust, disdain, and mockery towards Claire. Then the third person who walked by was a janitor, the present-day Good Samaritan. He stopped next to Claire and helped take her to the hospital. After the skit was finished all of my students discussed how the first two groups didn’t stop to help because they thought that Claire was either “too gross looking” or that they felt they were above her and she didn’t deserve their help. We talked about how no matter a person’s social standing, whether you’re the U.S. President or a janitor, you should treat every person with dignity and respect.

This Good Samaritan story reminds me an awful lot of what my job at the Warming Station and my roommates’ jobs are like when working with the homeless population. At the Warming Station I am able to interact with these people on a more humane level and get to know them. I don’t treat them like I am superior than them because I have a house to sleep in and they don’t, but rather, like they are a human being and are worthy of being respected. For me, being in service at Catholic Charities this year is an opportunity to practice being a Good Samaritan every day...welcoming the homeless and opening my heart to their stories and lives while providing a warm place to stay, a warm meal and treating them with the dignity and respect they deserve.

-Kaitlin

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One of the things for which I am most grateful is being able to have the opportunity to go to my service site walking, it does not matter if it is raining or snowing, it is something that I enjoy and that gives me time to have a moment of reflection, with myself, I think about what I have done, and what I plan to do on that day. On many occasions, I even talk to myself, or just try to make it a time of prayer. There are several avenues or streets that I can take to get to Casa San José (my place of service), but a few months ago I found the right one. And what makes it so special? A stairway, a stairway made up of 100 steps that are part of my path, although it may seem very ridiculous, at the beginning it was a challenge for me but now it is a stretch of path that I enjoy more than ever, it is like the beginning of my day. After climbing the 100 steps I have the feeling that my day has begun, and that all my thoughts, nervousness or anxiety are left behind, and the thoughts for the blessing of a new day are just beginning. It's like the feeling of reaching the finish line of a race and knowing that all the training and work you put in has been worth it. Walking is one of those things that I enjoy the most, people sometimes ask me why I do it, if I can take the bus, for example. But I answer them why not? Many times, I think of the joy I have of being able to walk and enjoy the things I see: the neighbor's dog, the children going to school, the birds or even a family of deer. I think, I walk for those who can't and would like to, for the simple fact of getting out every day and enjoying those little things, are the 17 minutes that makes my day different, it gives me peace inside, the necessary warmth in a cold morning, and the energy needed to start the day.

~ Diego

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We were created by a God that is a community of persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. In union with one another, but three separate entities. I believe that humans are made for community. Yes, some of us are introverts and need time to retreat by oneself, but ultimately, we were made to be “with”.

As Lent begins, faithful Christians remember they are dust and to dust, they shall return. We repent of our sins and remember why we were made – for devotion to God. The Gospel reading on Ash Wednesday reminds us that when we pray, it must be for the glory of God, not for personal status gains. We must retreat to our rooms and pray in secret, spending time alone with God, the community of persons. This is truthfully the only way that we may come to know God and build our personal relationship with Him. We sit alone, with the three persons of the Trinity, coming to know each.

I see similarities in this and our commitment to community living as part of the Change A Heart program. We are called to spend time with one another over dinner, prayer, and conversation. However, true community building comes when we spend time one-on-one having conversations with one another. I am grateful to have spent this time with my community members over the past 6 months, and I look forward to improving my relationship with God through my relationships with my community members, as we continue to encourage each other to strive toward holiness.

-Carina

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Mental Health and Homelessness

Over the past few months, I have been discerning my future career. In order to do so, I have been taking into consideration the aspects of this experience that brings me the most joy and meaning. I have found that I certainly enjoy working with this population, but I have been trying to understand exactly what it is about working with this population that fulfills me. After some observation of my actions and feelings, I have come to the realization that I enjoy discussing mental health issues with the clients and problem-solving solutions with them. I enjoy being a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on when it comes to discussing trauma, thought disturbances, and abnormal moods.

Mental illness is extremely and disproportionately prevalent in the homeless population. In fact, mental illness precedes homelessness in around two-thirds of the population. In other cases, homelessness can exacerbate many types of psychiatric disorders and lead to poorer mental health outcomes. Although there are now guidelines to target the primary care needs of street-homeless individuals, there are no current guidelines that address psychiatric needs.

As I have been learning from the unique stories and experiences of each individual, I have realized that the impacts of structural oppression vary from person to person and their surrounding community, experiences, and available resources may be different. There are however, some common themes that I have found that should be addressed in order to better serve the homeless. Firstly, access to basic necessities such as food, water, and shelter, and other needs for survival usually precedes psychiatric care. Therefore, making sure that the client has what they need to survive is a necessary aspect of care. Another barrier of care is the motivation to make appointments. When a person is suffering with a mental disorder, the idea of doing these tasks may seem overwhelming and support in making and attending an appointment may be necessary.

Some solutions to these issues involve integrated care. Using a team-based approach is helpful in tackling these barriers and allowing the client to get the psychiatric care that they deserve. Multidisciplinary teams including psychiatrists, primary care providers, outreach workers, and case managers are essential in providing the necessary level of care. A great idea and a career that I am interesting in looking into is the addition of a street psychiatrist in street medicine teams. The psychiatrist can provide trauma-informed care and psychiatric treatment while working with an outreach worker who can build trust and break the stigma.

All of these issues and possible solutions have been floating around in my mind and have brought me to the conclusion that I may want to work on this for the rest of my life. Of course, I am keeping an open mind and heart that there are so many possible careers that would bring me joy and meaning. As I keep serving and building relationships with the people on the streets, I will continue to note the aspects of this work that interest me.

-Emma

https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/never-ending-loop-homelessness-psychiatric-disorder-and-mortality

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Donations and Lunches

Hello Change a Heart family!

Catholic Charities’ Warming Station opened their doors on December 30th to let homeless people find a warm place during the day, and I have been able to work there a handful of times since its opening. My days there are mostly occupied with handing out coffee, breakfast, lunch, and donations (such as hygiene products, clothes, shoes, etc.). However, the day is scheduled so that we can only give out things at certain times. For example, the thing that I have been struggling with the most is that the donations. The protocol is that people must sign a list in the morning before I go down to get the items ready at 1pm, and we are always out of the items that it seems people always ask for: pants, shoes, and belts. That itself is difficult because I want to give what these people need to be out on the streets but we don’t always have the items that they want available. After the first time are not supposed to go down to give out any more donations and ask them to come back tomorrow during the appropriate time. It’s hard for me to do that sometimes because some of the clients work in the mornings and aren’t able to come back later in the day to collect the donations. However, I understand why Catholic Charities has the protocols set in place because when I have bent the rules everyone notices and all rush to try and get something from me. I was discussing this with someone later, and they told me that these people are trying to take advantage of my kindness. What I truly want is to help people when they ask for it, but if I do that then I run myself ragged all day. So, currently when I am working there, I feel like there is a fine line to walk on the people that I sneak clothes to and when I must reinforce the protocols. Although I may say that dealing with the donation’s is tough, it’s always a blessing to see everyone grateful for all the help that we are able to provide and be appreciative of the donations they receive.

There is another experience I’d like to share. When there are extra lunches, we are permitted to hand out a second one to the people who want them. We normally do this before the lunch hour is over which never made sense to me because some people will wander in at 2 or 3pm asking if they can get some food. Normally for those people, I will try to provide them at least a Nutri-Grain bar. One day a man came in asking for some food around 3pm because he felt like if he didn’t get any food inside him then he was going to faint. Very concerned, I asked him if he wanted us to call 911 but declined the offer. I told him that they had already given out all the extra lunches for today, but I could get him a Nutri-Grain bar and a fruit cup . Lo and behold, there was one lunch bag left! I got to give it to him and reflecting on that moment, I believe that God had left that one bag just for him. There are still a lot of time left that the Warming Station is open, so I am looking forward to helping all of these folks more through the coming weeks.

With love,

Kaitlin

[changeaheartpgh]

Small gestures that are worth it.

Returning to Pittsburgh after spending the holidays in Guatemala the first night, a heavy snowfall, which I did not expect, greeted me. It was a bit difficult at first to think about my family in Guatemala and how the night before I was still with them. On my trip from the airport to what also call my “second home”, I thought about the new stories and people that I would meet in this second part of the program. With a bit of anxiety and nervousness as the first day will be, I unpacked my things and prepared to return to Casa San José. Despite enjoying my time in the office, I like to go out and interact with clients as much as possible, not only to learn their stories but also to know that even with small gestures you can make this other person's day.

A few months ago I learned the story of this client whom I will call "Miguel", Miguel came from Colombia with his wife, his first stop was in Miami, but he had a really bad time there, he slept on the floor sharing a room with other people and the owner of the property whom Miguel considered his “friend” treated him badly, sometimes he would not let them sleep at night and on a couple of occasions he would close the door so that he could not enter when he returned from work at night. After many nights and desperation, through a friend, he got the contact of Casa San José who, together with his family, transferred him to Pittsburgh so that they could live for six months while they managed to stabilize. Miguel was enrolled in the free dental program of Catholic Charities, and they asked me to go with him to be the translator. While we waited for him to be called, Miguel told me his story, why he and his wife and other family members escaped from Colombia and how he ended up in Pittsburgh, living alone with his wife and having to leave their two children behind in Colombia.

When Miguel was called the dentist told me that the appointment would last about two hours, when leaving the clinic, I remember that he thanked me for being able to help him because the pain in his teeth was so strong that it even caused him problems when working. While I accompanied him to the bus stop, the bus just arrived at the stop, Miguel had to run to avoid losing it (or he would have to wait 45 minutes for the next one) we didn't even say goodbye, but that didn't matter to me in the end I felt fine because I was able to help him.

A couple of minutes later a text message from Miguel “Diego, muchas gracias por todo, que Dios te lo pague” (“Diego, thank you very much for everything, may God pay you”) a simple text message but one that I felt 100% honest. A small gesture that made my day, made me smile on my way back to Casa San Jose and that makes me feel that the hours in the doctor's office have been worth it.

~ Diego

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This month I have been reflecting a lot on my plans for the future and what that would mean for the rest of my year of service. I have learned a lot this year about myself, my relationship with God, and how that reflects my relationships with others.

I recently came across this quote from Henri Nouwen:

"More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn't be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but truly love them." - Henri Nouwen

I think that my increased involvement in the street outreach side of my ministry has me feeling very convicted by his statement as he says, “My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets…”. He questions Jesus’ own call to simply know people by name, eat and drink with them, and show them they are truly loved. This is the real test.

I have not specifically questioned whether this is my vocation, but I have questioned whether this can be enough to be able to help move someone who battles addiction, homelessness, and mental illness to be able to move past those struggles and become a functioning member of society again. I encountered a man the first week of opening shelter that has taught me a lot about this. He was very quiet at first and would simply come in, get a blanket and a meal, and fall asleep on his mat. He never asked for anything, caused any problems or reasons for concern. Yet, he was a regular, so I began to recognize him and remember his name. He questioned my motivation to do this, he was surprised that I would care enough to take notice of him and thanked me for talking to him. Weeks later, he came to me concerned about his drug abuse. He had overdosed on heroin and was ready to take steps toward sobriety. I spent hours with him the next day trying to coordinate a plan with others. He was so grateful. For two weeks it was radio silence and I just hoped and prayed he would continue the full 90 days of treatment.

I found out two weeks later that he had left against medical advice and was back in the city, homeless yet again on a cold winter night and at risk for relapse. I felt that it wasn’t enough to just remember his name and make him feel cared for, so I took action and helped him to work towards that social progress. He was on his way. But there is always the possibility to regress back to old patterns. This is a challenge of the ministry of presence. Where is my role now? What more can I do to be present to this man and still encourage him to make social progress?

-Carina