Katie

EXOL | This blog is basically a dump of all my delulu ideas | SuYeol biased Requests are: Open

[chanyeolsbiggestfangirl]

Blog Navigation

hey my lovelies! welcome to my little corner of the internet.

Katie | She, her

I write for the kpop group EXO. My asks are always open so feel free to hmu, for fics or even for a rant session or fangirling over exo or simping over any of the members or even if you just need someone to vent out to.

Masterlist

Requests are Currently: Closed

Request Guide

Drabble Prompts (Coming Soon)

Monthy Updates

[transisstor]

Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.

[xui-n-soowillbethedeathofme]

DNI Policy

If you're not going to reblog one of my posts, do not interact with it at all. Read or look at them all you want, just don't hit the like button only. I will be blocking any blogs that violate this request, barring those mutuals I speak with on here.

For those wishing for an explanation or those that are probably grumbling to themselves at my audacity: I've come to this decision after some thought and it's due in most part to how tumblr users interact with content now.

Your content creators have long been vocal about the need for interaction beyond liking posts. We have pointed out that reblogs are the only reliable form of spreading new content. We've practically begged for the bare minimum.

So. In order to preserve my peace of mind and hopefully retain the will to write and make moodboards and learn other forms of creation, I am requesting that if you have no intention of reblogging my work then don't bother hitting the like button.

Frankly if it's not good enough to share, it shouldn't be good enough for you to save.

I'm tired of using my blog as nothing more than a cloud service.

[chanyeolsbiggestfangirl]

HEAR HEAR!!!! LOUDER GURL!!!!!

[an-annyeoing-writer]

EXO Writers Masterlist [updated: 28/10/2023]

Hello! Here I present you the list of all active EXO writers I managed to find.

In the case you know of someone I didn't add (or even if you're writer yourself!) feel free to add yourself in the comments/reblog section or send me a message.

In the case you notice some writers are no longer active/don't write for EXO, please also let me know!

The list will be updated regularly!

A:

@andimoon

@anyamaris

@an-annyeoing-writer (haha... hi)

B:

@baeklination

@bobohu4eva

@byunified

C:

@chanyeolsbiggestfangirl

@chogiwass

@cyberexo

D:

@dreamylittlesugarcube

E:

@exoo

F:

~ none yet ~

G:

@gyudior

H:

@hyuniebaby

I:

@icequeenbae

@irregular-idol-imagines

@its-not-sof

@itstheoneshot

J:

@jinmindeulle

@jongbross

@justwritedreams

K:

@kjmcotton

@kokobopam

@kpopimaginings

@kpoptrashlord-007

@kyoongboxi

@kyungseokie

L:

@lunaflowers

M:

@mint-yooxgi

@mgg-81

@mybiasisexo

N:

@neokittyy

@noona-clock

O:

~ none yet ~

P:

@paintingwhiteceilings

@papermatisse

@peachesvanilla

Q:

~ none yet ~

R:

~ none yet ~

S:

@scarlet-sky4

@soobadnoonecanstopher

@sooibian

@spacequokka

@starillusion13

@synthetickitsune

T:

~ none yet ~

U:

~ none yet ~

V:

@vampwrrr

W:

@whimsical-ness

X:

@xiubaek-13

@xotaemintol

@xui-n-soowillbethedeathofme

Y:

@yankpop

@yeolsaintlaurent

Z:

~ none yet ~

[chanyeolsbiggestfangirl]

OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SKSKAKWKKWKSOWMSKS I'M ON THIS LIST!?!?!?!!! I AM ON A SEMI HIATUS DIE TO ASSIGNMENTS BUT THANK YOU SOOO MUCH TO @an-annyeoing-writer FOR THIS LITTLE SURPRISE😭😭😭

[chanyeolsbiggestfangirl]

Hey can I req a Chanyeol fic? Arrange marriage au, reader is in love with her husband chanyeol but he's not, initially he didn't gave her attention but when she decided move out he realises her value.. it be better if the genre is smut & angst.. but happy ending plz 🥺🫶🏻

hey anon! I wrote something similar along these lines a few months ago, it wasn't exactly arranged marriage au rather it was fwb au but yeah. I wouldn't be writing this now if that okay with you.

You can check out both the parts of the fic I'm talking about here.

[ahdriking]

Get to know your fic writer!

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Do you like constructive criticism?

Do you have your work beta'd? How important is this to your process?

How do you choose which POV to write from?

Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

Do you comment on stories you read?

Cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

Link your three favorite fics right now

how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

Best writing advice for other writers?

Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

What’s your revision or editing process like?

Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

Do you want to be published some day?

Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? 

How do you write kissing scenes?

How do you choose where to end a chapter?

Would you ever write commissions?

Share a snippet from a WIP

If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you?

Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

What do you look for in a beta?

Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

How long is your longest fic?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished? 

What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc) 

Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

Why do you continue writing fics?

Thoughts on cliffhangers?

Something you hate to see in smut.

Something you love to see in smut.

Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

What scene in [Fanfic Name] took the longest to write? What was difficult about it? 

Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]? 

Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter? 

[corrodedbisexual]

Once more for those in the back.

[only-cat-memes]

Your daily dose of cat memes

[koreanmusicals]

sophie801224 볼프강 모차르트 ❤️ 공연마다 3-4시간 전에 와서 두시간씩 목풀던 우리 new 볼프강들. 너무나 예쁘고 아름다운 너희 최고야 너희와 함께여서 너희의 누나여서 참 좋았고 좋아. 🐿️ 이제 몇번 안남은 #모차르트 이해준#수호#유회승#김희재 그리고 #향난넬 이제 곧 #안녕 🥲 Wolfgang Mozart ❤️ Our new Wolfgangs who came three to four hours before each performance to warm up for two hours. So very pretty and beautiful, all of you are the best Because I was together with you all, because I am all your sister It was good and is still good. 🐿️ Not many [performances] left #Mozart Lee Hae Jun, Suho, Yoon Hwe Seung, Kim Hee Jae And Hyang!Nannerl Soon now #goodbye 🥲 (230818)

[chanyeolsbiggestfangirl]

Update hehe ;)

okay so, as i had said before, there is a junmyeon fic that has been sitting in my drafts and is currently going through (hopefully) final editing. it was originally written as a oneshot entirely on a whim (welcome to another day of me having thots about that man)

apparently the plot has spiralled out of control and it seems like that oneshot would become the prequel to the first full scale series on this account. it revolves around exo's concept and some of the plot relevant details come from their mvs and stuff.

i am aiming to release the first two (and perhaps, the most important) parts this month. there will be a specifc masterlist made for this series.

i am excited asf!!!!!!

fingers crossed!

[good-to-drive]

It's kinda funny when you get a bunch of likes but no reblogs like I enjoyed your post but I'd prefer if no one else saw it

[holdingforexo]

holding for jongin: day 118 of 641 ↳ EXO SUHO and KAI for Lotte’s Pepero Day | Fall/Winter 2016

[chanyeolsbiggestfangirl]

Synopsis:- After your failed attempt at a confrontation with Chanyeol, you decide to do what seemed best at that time, run away. Even with his indifference towards your feelings, you just couldn’t let go of him, the thought of him, the phantom touches he imprinted upon your soul caressing you in ways more than one. But running away is never a good solution in the long run, for unfinished business will always catch up with you.

Pairing:- Chanyeol X Fem Reader

Genre:- Angst, Smut

Author’s Note:- so, it is finally happening, the unnamed sequel to the request i wrote a few days ago. my heartiest thanks to @scuzmunkie for the heartwarming comments that made my day and prompted me to write a second part. also my deepest gratitude to all those who gave their love to the previous piece. this is for you all.

Prequel 

Keep reading

[chanyeolsbiggestfangirl]

hey!! Can I request a chanyeol fic, reader is fwb with chanyeol and is madly inlove with him, confesses to him but gets rejected then when she decides to move on, chanyeol realises what hes lost 🥺

Synopsis: You met Chanyeol in the final year of college by pure accident when your previous roommate moves out and he comes in his place. Being roommates with a college hottie has it's pros.... but also it's cons. Every moment spend with Chanyeol tangled between the sheets ignited something deep within you, deeper than just bodily lust. But the real question is, is it the same way with him? Does your smile pull at his heartstrings just the way his pulls at yours?

Pairing:- Chanyeol X Fem Reader

Genre:- Smut, Angst

Author's note: YAYYY THIS IS MY VERY FIRST REQUEST. THANK YOU SOO MUCH ANON FOR REQUESTING THIS! IT GOT ME SOOO EXCITED! I HAD A LOT OF FUN WRITING THIS. I TRIED TO KEEP IT SHORT EVEN THOUGH THIS HAD ME CARRIED AWAY. ALSO I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY :((

.... Sometime in late evening ....

It was a daily occurrence now, almost like clockwork. One of you would be having a shitty day (and that's mostly every other day) and you'd seek each other out.

Or rather, he would seek you out.

You didn't even enter the living room properly and he was already on you, his hand on your ass as he pulls you closer harshly, claiming your lips with a fervent need.

One of his hands took the books from yours and placed them on the table absentmindedly, his other hand squeezing your ass through the fabric of your jeans, all the while his tongue clashed against yours in a never ending battle for dominance.

It was exhilarating for him, for no matter how many times he'd have had you, you were always that wild, untamed brat that never quite bend at his will easily like the other girls who practically threw themselves at him.

You tiptoed as you tried to keep up with his kiss, giving him a run for his damn sanity with the way you bit on his lower lip, your moan was followed by his deep groan against your lips. Your arms were around his neck, fingers naturally tangling in his luxurious locks.

That was the way you guys were.

If someone would ask you what you and Chanyeol are, you would have no answer, absolutely none. You weren't together. You certainly aren't lovers. You were just two people who would seek each other out to let out your pent up frustration.

You still remember how it all actually began. It was the second last semester and your neat freak of a roommate moved out suddenly, and a tall and drop dead gorgeous giant came in.

At first you didn't give in to his advances, knowing fully well that Chanyeol wasn't the type to commit, wasn't the type to have something serious. But one drunken night and one taste of his lips was enough to convince you otherwise.

Outside the bedroom, you were roommates with completely different lives. Inside the bedroom, however, Chanyeol fucked you like he owned you, every inch of you. He was gifted at the art of the bedroom. He worshipped every inch of you like he cherished nothing more than he cherished you.

But you knew it was all a facade.

It was an unspoken agreement. No strings attached. Just sex. Nothing else.

Simple.

Or so you initially thought.

But every touch of his upon your heated skin, every kiss that took your breathe away, every word he uttered to you, it all built up into something until you realized that the reason why you can't go out with some other guy is because you're in love with the one who's interested in owning you only while in the sheets.

That jolt of harsh truth was what brought you back to the reality.

Chanyeol's lips leave your to trail a wet path down your neck, biting and suckling at your sweet spot on your neck, making you moan yet again.

Chanyeol always managed to coax moans from you like how one coaxes melody from an instrument.

You arch your neck, letting him have his way with you. You had little defenses when his lips and tongue and teeth made you lightheaded. He groaned against your skin, pulling you incredibly closer, grinding his hard length against your clothed center and gods, that almost made you see literal stars.

"Bedroom. Now." His deep baritone was laced with a needy growl, his hold on your waist turned impatient, tapping your thigh in a way to tell you to wrap your legs around him as he took you to his room, his lips finding solace in yours yet again.

Chanyeol let go of you lips only after your back hit the mattress, lips tracing a path downward, pulling your skirt and panties along and throwing them absentmindedly in some corner of the room.

What happened next is the same yet different for you. The same disregard for clothes, the frenzy of lips and tongue and teeth, his impatience in getting his hands on your bare skin. But even when the majority of these occurrences were the same for you, what was different was the way it felt each and every time.

His lips fervently mapping out your heated skin felt personal, his hands worshipping crevices; that even you don't deem worthy of attention; felt personal. When he ate you out like a man starved and made you come upon his skilled tongue, it felt personal. Each and every thrust of his girthy cock into your tight cunt felt personal.

They say to not catch feelings but how could you not? How could you not catch feelings when he whispered sweet nothings in your ear in his deep voice? How could you not catch feelings when he made you feel like you were something different, something important, and not just one of the many girls he sleeps around with? How could you not catch feelings when one smile of his could brighten your whole day? How could you not catch feelings when you beheld the passionate gleam in his eyes whenever he's doing the things he loves.

Time spent with Chanyeol tangling in the sheets was blissful, but that's exactly where the bliss ends and the harsh reality slaps. The sound of Chanyeol rolling off the bed, the light shuffling of feet, the rustle of clothes, oh and the final nail on the coffin, the sound of the door slamming shut as he leaves your room. All of it clawed away at your feelings. Whenever you get high hopes, Chanyeol slams the door shut on them.

It was getting exhausting, this cycle of mental torture. The fact that he probably fucked around with other girls and would touch and kiss and hold them the same he did with you. The fact that while these mutually agreed escapades meant nothing to him, they were the reason why you weren't seeing anyone else anymore. The final semester was coming to an end, and so was your sanity and patience.

You couldn't take the weight of the feelings locked deep in your heart anymore.

You make up your mind, deciding that you'll tell him, hoping against hope that his reaction would be affirmative.

"What if he doesn't reciprocate?", whispered a little voice in your head.

You pushed those thoughts aside, trying not to think of how exactly Chanyeol's possible rejection might effect you.

.... A Week Later ....

The past was repeating itself yet again when Chanyeol stood up from the couch he moment you entered and crossed the distance between you both, lustful intentions swimming in his brown orbs. He made to pull you closer, hand reaching out when you stepped back.

Unspoken questions were evident in his gaze, a slightly pained expression taking form in his eyes. You took that was an opportunity to speak, your voice low, your eyes on his.

"What are we, Chanyeol? What am I to you?"

Chanyeol's demeanor shifted at that, body going rigid as he pulled back the hand that was reaching out towards you. He underwent a whole change. His eyes went vacant, face going neutral and you were no longer able to read the expressions on his face, the emotions in his eyes.

Standing right before you was a man who couldn't care less.

He shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest, "It isn't that deep. It's just sex, y/n. We talked about this."

The audacity. The mere audacity of this man, to shrug and cross his arms as if this isn't like the matter of life and death for you.

You took a step closer, your feelings replaced by bubbling anger, anger and pity, anger on how stupid you've been, anger on him, pity for yourself, pity for the pathetic situation you've got yourself in. While you were boiling up from within, tears had started to line the corner of you eyes with the way this conversation was turning out.

You tried to sound anything but broken, but your voice betrayed you. "You've got to be kidding me, Chanyeol! It isn't 'just sex' and you know it too!"

The tall man had the audacity to huff a humorless laugh at your words, and it further made your composure crumble. He ran a hand through his hair frustratingly, throat bobbing as he took deep breaths.

"C'mon y/n, don't be absurd. Or perhaps.. did you think that we are a thing? It was just sex, dammit! We talked about this. About not catching feelings. Don't be a child, y/n."

Ouch

That. That was perhaps the last straw for you, for you and the tears you've been holding back. They cascaded down your cheeks in a hot, salty trail and you let them. You were done trying to act like you were okay when you actually weren't.

Chanyeol stilled, taking all but one step towards you before you held up a hand, taking two steps back, away from him.

"y/n... please... I'm sorry. It.. came out wrong.. listen to me.. let's talk-"

"No."

You were done. After being trapped in an endless cycle of having nothing but one sided feelings, making a fool of yourself in front of this man who is brushing it off as if your heart isn't at your fucking throat, you were done. You still have some self respect left in you and you'll not do the mistake of letting him affect you this greatly again.

Pining Chanyeol with a stern look, you turned to your heel, running up the little distance to your bedroom, closing the door behind you and locking it. All of Chanyeol's half hearted pleas were put to a deaf ear.

You leaned against the door, your legs giving out beneath you as you sank to your knees. Back against the door, you pulled your knees to your chest, head bowing as you cried and cried and cried, the voice of Chanyeol's pleas fading and then vanishing entirely followed by a soft thud of footsteps as he left.

.

.... Three Hours Later ....

After an hour of crying, two hours of pitying yourself and stewing in your grief, you finally raise your head with a determined gleam in your eyes.

You were done.

So very done.

.

Sometime around 10 the next morning

"y/n?"

Chanyeol's deep voice reverberated throughout the apartment, getting no answers. He called out again, desperate and breathlessly this time. He had already knocked thrice on your door, three harsh raps on the wood that would wake even the dead.

Now that he was awake after a very disturbing sleep last night, he wanted to make amends. He wanted to talk to you. Just the mere thought of losing you; because of something he said in the heat of the moment without prior knowledge of how he actually felt; just that thought alone made him lose his fucking mind.

He took a deep breathe, readying himself, for what, he didn't know. He took out the extra pair of keys from his pocket, pulling out the one to your door, putting it in and turning it before he could second guess himself.

He gasped.

No

It couldn't be

He had braced himself for a lot of ways in which this situation could have unfolded in front of him and yet the particular way in which the things played out caught him completely by surprise.

The room, which belonged to you, was empty, save for the the bed, the table and the closet and the various drawers and other conventional things that were always there. All your posters were gone, all your favorite books were gone, every single thing that screamed your name to Chanyeol was gone.

He took unsteady steps towards the bed, grabbing the pillow that lay there. It smelled faintly of you, strawberry and vanilla. His breathe came in raspy pants as he wrapped his mind around what had happened.

You had left.

Left him.

Chanyeol sank to his knees and wept, tears free flowing from his beautiful eyes in angry torrents.

.

A very much requested Part 2 of this

Masterlist

Wanna Request a Fic?

[dazzlingkai]

“Try to imagine someone lying next to you. What do you think you will do with her?” “Just the thought of it is very uncomfortable”

[chanyeolsbiggestfangirl]

this Kdrama >>>>> everything else

Actually,

Kyungsoo's Kdramas >>>> everything else

[chanyeolsbiggestfangirl]

Hi! Do you accept requests

Yes, requests are currently open and I do accept them. Though please remember that as the one writing them, I hold the right to reject a request if it makes me uncomfortable or if I don't write about that particular stuff.

[chanyeolsbiggestfangirl]

Synopsis:- After your failed attempt at a confrontation with Chanyeol, you decide to do what seemed best at that time, run away. Even with his indifference towards your feelings, you just couldn’t let go of him, the thought of him, the phantom touches he imprinted upon your soul caressing you in ways more than one. But running away is never a good solution in the long run, for unfinished business will always catch up with you.

Pairing:- Chanyeol X Fem Reader

Genre:- Angst, Smut

Author’s Note:- so, it is finally happening, the unnamed sequel to the request i wrote a few days ago. my heartiest thanks to @scuzmunkie for the heartwarming comments that made my day and prompted me to write a second part. also my deepest gratitude to all those who gave their love to the previous piece. this is for you all.

Prequel 

. . . 

You were a coward, a goddamn coward. You still remember that night and the aftermath of it pretty clearly.

Packing your stuff in the middle of the night with impulsive precision, your heart hurt but your mind was clear. The only way to save yourself and end your suffering was to leave, with no trace left behind. The only way to save your heart from hurting at the sight of his beautiful face was to make sure that he isn’t the first thing you see when you start your day. Your heart longed to steal one last look at him before you stepped out of the door, but the sensible part of you that had been ignored so long wasn’t having any of it. The first step is always the hardest and right now the first step was to not give in to the urge to see him. It was hard, but your mind urged you on and away. So you did it. Without sparing even a single glance at the tall male who held your heart in his hands, you stepped out.

Even now you have no idea of how you managed to do it all, but the memory of Chanyeol’s nonchalant shrug was what made you call your cousin and tell her that you’ll be staying over for the few days till graduation. The memory of his empty emotionless eyes was what drove you to block his number and then delete it for good measure. The memory of his cruel words borderlining on a rejection, was what drove your deepest instincts, all of it was what drove you to put some very much needed distance between you and the him.

In the few days that stood between you and the graduation and the ultimate freedom from all of this mess, you spend all your time alternating between gardening with your grandma and taking with Minseok for hours on end.

When the graduation came, you entrusted Minseok and Sehun to help you get through without running into Chanyeol. But even then it was too much for you. Being in the same space with him suffocated you, override all your senses. The possibility of even a single eye contact, a single interaction was enough to make your stomach hurt. You didn’t stay after the official ceremony, didn’t attend the party, you just told your friends that you’re done for the day and headed home. 

You felt a certain pair of eyes on your back, but you took deep steadying breaths and did not look back even once. 

Three Months Later 

There’s always room for improvement in life, only if you put your mind to it. It has been three months since you got your beloved masters degree, three months since you last felt Chanyeol’s gaze on you, three months since you moved across the city into your brand new apartment near your workplace. 

Three months of trying to heal in peace. Trying to wrench your heart away from the handsome giant. You wouldn’t say you’ve forgotten Chanyeol or moved on, you just made yourself busy enough to never have time to think about him, until he was all but a distant memory. 

But seems like the universe was done, done letting you get away with unfinished business. 

The morning started hazy, the sun made it pretty clear that it couldn’t be bothered to come out. You huffed a breathe as you looked out of your floor to ceiling window, you were honestly done with today and it hadn’t even properly started yet. 

You were always in a somewhat hurry to catch the elevator, it was not that you were late, it was just that the building that housed your office also had other establishments in the lower floors, complete with a high class soundproof studio occupying the entirety of the topmost floor. 

As usual, it was packed, enough not to suffocate and yet enough that you grateful for not slacking off. Usually, you’d always have someone else who was heading for the same floor, who’d already pressed the button to the 15th floor, but it wasn’t the case today. Finding that it wasn’t pressed yet, your hand itched towards it, only for your fingers to brush against someone who just entered. 

You looked up at the somewhat towering figure, only to be greeted by a familiar face. 

A painfully familiar face actually. 

There he was, his currently blonde hair swept back, his full lips jutting out in an early morning pout, dressed casually yet immaculately, brown orbs looking back at you with equal amounts of surprise and something that looked painfully like... longing. 

No 

You scolded yourself internally, trying to stop yourself from plunging into an endless abyss filled with thoughts of him and him only. But it was too late. The damage was already done. You pulled your hand back, averting your eyes, willing yourself to not give away the fact that he had initiated a torrent of emotions within you. You withdrew further into the flock of people in the elevator, putting some distance between you and him, head down, waiting until your floor comes up. 

You were breathless when you got on your floor, you massaged your temples with your thumb and forefinger. 

There goes my sanity for the rest of my existence. 

Turns out, the studio on the highest level was his. You were more than tempted to move places, ask for a transfer to another office, anything, anything to save yourself from running into him. A part of you was begging you to run away again, but the other begged to stay, to grow some fucking nerve. You finally discarded your impulsive letter requesting a transfer and prayed that today would be the first and last time you’d run into Chanyeol. 

If only it were the case. 

You stayed late at work, the lights on the worktables around you shutting off one by one as the time passed but you stayed. It wasn’t the work, it was him. You were working late just so that you could avoid running into him in the lift. When the clock struck eight, you finally stretched your arms and got your things and made to leave. The floor was all quiet. 

You stepped into the lift, mentally making plans to make instant ramen and watch your favorite movie. You were so engrossed in those that you didn’t notice that instead of descending, the lift climbed higher, stopping on the floor you dreaded. 

You were pulled out of your reveries when the doors pinged open and you stepped out only to bump into a warm and hard chest. You looked up and found Chanyeol looking at you. 

Oh no no no no NO 

You were fast to turn, but Chanyeol was faster. His arm came around your waist, pulling you to him, your back against his chest, his lips at your ear as his deep voice sounded in the empty area.

“Y/n please... please hear me out. I.. I am sorry. I really am, about that night. Please...” 

He sounded so... weak and vulnerable in those moments. His hand holding onto you, his broken plea. His hard body against yours shook slightly, awaiting your reaction, half dreading it. 

You wanted to scream at him. You wanted to tell him that you didn’t want to hear it. You wanted to pull away from him and say some really mean words and hurt him just the way he hurt you. You wanted to be far far away from him. 

But you were a weak woman when it came to him. You were weak for him. You were weak for his touch upon you. You were weak for the words voiced in that deep voice of his. You were weak with the way that voice took such control of you and your coherence. 

Had it been some other man, you would have pulled away, released your pent up frustration and then left. 

But Chanyeol wasn’t some other man. 

So you didn’t do any of those things, sighing deeply against his body, you nodded wordlessly. 

He turned you so that you faced him, hand still around your waist, holding you close, his face inches from yours, his hot breathe caressing your face. You didn’t realize you were cold until the warmth from his body seeped into yours and you found yourself leaning into it involuntarily. 

His brows were slightly furrowed, he looked at you with a pained expression,  such longing and sincerity in his eyes that the expression made you feel bare in front of him. Your heart was hammering in your chest, letting out breaths in small puffs as you tried to tell your mind to calm the fuck down.

You expected an apology, a half assed explanation perhaps. But what he said caught you off guard. 

“I missed you.” 

The words felt foreign on his tongue, felt unfamiliar to your own ears. Chanyeol had said a lot of stuff to you. But never these words. 

“Liar.” 

The word was out of your mouth before you properly process it, flinching inwardly at the unintentional yet somewhat intentional bite in that singular word which managed to capture your current feelings towards him. 

“I’m not lying, y/n. I missed you. Every single day, every single moment, I missed you.” 

His words and his grip around your waist were laced with fear and desperation, and gods, you wanted it, your heart yearned for it. Yet, another part of you was equally conflicted, whether or not to let him in again and let him destroy parts of you that you were trying to heal so desperately. 

He was making you weak for him all over again, with just a few words. 

You shook your head, “Chanyeol... stop. Whatever you’re trying to get at here, just stop. I... can’t take it! This is just like earlier again. You ask for an in, I let you in and then... and then you leave. Again. So, stop. Please.”

He sighs deeply, pain flashing across his features, his arm around you tightening as he pulled you even closer. His breathe mingled with yours when he spoke.

"Don't go. Please."

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to tear up again from the sheer force of all what was running through your mind. A torrent of buried emotions was resurfacing and you couldn't stop it. Your voice broke over the tears you tried to stop.

"You... you're hurting me. Don't you understand that?!? One moment, you want me and the other, you don't. That's so fucking confusing!"

It felt cathartic, to scream those words out to him, you took deep deep breaths, mumbling a little at the end.

"You ruined me. Hurt me. And I thought I was okay but seeing you now, I know I'm not and that's all your fault!

That's when you push him away, trying to put some distance between you both. He reached out with a hand, lips trembling and you could almost see the cogs in his brain moving, thinking on what to say.

"Y/n... I'm.. I'm sorry. I missed you so much. I can't- "

"Stop, Chanyeol. Stop it! Can't you understand!? I hate this all of this. I hate how my heart still holds onto you after what happened that night. I hate how all I've ever wanted is to be yours." You were panting now, head shaking side to side in internal denial, getting worked up at how ridiculous this situation was. When you spoke again, it was nothing less than a whisper, having spend all your energy on the heated exchange.

"I hate how I still want you even after all what you’ve put me through.”

Chanyeol closed the distance, his hands on your cheeks as he tilted your face, his lips crashing against yours, his tongue seeking entrance, which you readily granted in a heartbeat.

Your arms found their way around his neck, fingers tangling in his silky blonde locks, holding him close, pressing your body against his.

Your heart hammered in your chest, but this time there was a twin beat that hammered right alongside yours. There's just something about his touches, the lips that felt perfect against yours, the warmth from his human furnace of a body seeping into yours. 

There was just something about him that made you let go of all pretenses at reason. 

You missed him. You missed him so fucking much. You were just running away. Planning to fake it till you make it, but Chanyeol beat you to it. You missed his lips. You missed his searing kisses that would steal your breathe away. 

Each and every thing about him, whether big or small, made you stupid. It made you want to believe in his words. It made you want to give him chances, endless chances.

You were still very much in love with Park Chanyeol. 

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours, breathing heavily.

“Don’t go, please.” The words were a breathless whisper, a chant in his head and heart. He sounded so broken, so vulnerable, it squeezed your heart until you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think straight. 

. 

He took you home, and you let him. Chanyeol’s lips and touch were like a drug and you’d gladly let yourself be intoxicated by him. You knew it was bad for you, letting him in again so easily, but what could you do? 

The moment you stepped inside the door, his hands were on your waist, turning you around, his lips on yours, his hands pulling you impossibly closer. His lips molded against yours with a fervent need burning in them. It was surprising how he made your head swim and he hadn’t even done anything to you yet. 

You expected it all to be just the way it always happened, the frenzy of lips and tongue and teeth and clothes, impatient hands roving all over you, his touches setting fire to all reason. 

But it all changed when you legs hit the mattress and he did something you weren’t quite expecting. He turned you both, him landing on the bed with you on top of him, he pulled back a little and with the height difference now, he was literally looking up at you. 

This time, it was different. 

It was different when his lips found their way to your neck, leaving a trail of chaste, close lipped kisses. It was different when his hands found purchase in your hips and held you impossibly close as if scared that you would vanish into thin air the moment he let you go. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Those words broke your reveries. They were a breathless whisper against your skin, as if he was trying to imprint the words there, Each and every touch of his upon your heated skin felt as if murmuring an apology. His gentle fingers that explored every curve and plane seemed to echo that apology. As the fabric of your clothes slid off your skin, the lingering touch seemed to murmur in an apology. 

As his clothes and yours found a new place to be on the floor, his arm wound tightly around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest as if scared that you’d push him away and leave without a trace just the way you did three months ago. The heat from his skin seeped into you, you who’d been cold for so long without him. Even as your lips detached from each other’s, they brushed together, your breathes mingling with his. 

You pulled back further, sitting up on his lap, allowing him to adjust the weight, the hooded look in his eyes mirrored yours, his hands were at your sides, fingers brushing against the underside of your breasts, eyes travelling over every bare inch of you with such adoration in his eyes that you could have sobbed. When your lips found his again, his tongue explored your wet cavern like he needed this, needed you more than his next breathe. 

A low moan reverberated against your fingers as you explored the expanse of his chest sculpted from perfection, marveling at each and every plane and curve, his body shivering slightly. His other cradled your head, brushing aside stray strands of your hair.  As his lips leave yours, they began a downward trail, along your jaw and down your neck, down and down to the place between both your breasts.

“I’m sorry.” The words were breathless whisper, brushing his lips tenderly over the spot again and again, as if trying to imprint the words there. He kissed and bit and sucked on that spot, sure to leave a mark. His arm around you tightened, pressing his hips firmly against yours, eliciting a choked moan of his name from your parted lips. “I’m so fucking sorry.” 

Your head was in the clouds, your senses in a haze, you couldn’t bring yourself to either simply nod or say something to him, especially not when his lips on your skin and his hips grounding against yours was enough to make you forget your own name. Your sweatpants weren’t much of a help, rather a nuisance. He pulled away with a final nibble, getting you both rid of your remaining clothes. 

It was fast, yet slow, same yet different. Your breaths were fast, yet it felt as if you couldn’t get enough oxygen in, your mouths moving against each others in a primal, fervent sort of need, in wet, sloppy strokes. Each and every touch of his brought back a part of you that had been lost since forever. You missed him so much, so fucking much. You had been so bleak, so empty without him. You loved how he made you feel like yourself again. 

It was mutual, the need and desperation with which both of you clung to each other, it was mutual. The need and desperation with which Chanyeol held you in his arms as you finally sunk down on his length, his swollen lips parting in a broken moan of your name, head falling back against the pillows, eyes struggling to stay open and maintain contact with yours. The need and desperation with which you moved your hips against his, hands against his chest as you rocked against him. 

“Beautiful. You’re so beautiful, y/n.”

When the words registered against your clouded brain, you wanted to sob and beg, beg the heavens that this at least this meant something. That his words meant something, his apology meant something, his mighty heart thundering against your fingers meant something. That the position you were in, you on top of him and him at your mercy, it meant something. You were lightheaded, with the unspoken emotions coursing through you, with Chanyeol’s girth hitting all the right spots and making you see the stars, with the weight of all these sudden occurences upon your mind. 

Your thighs ached as you tried to keep up the pace you had set, your fingernails digging into his perfect skin and leaving little crescent moons, leaving your mark on him just the way he left his on you. Your skin was on fire as he trailed his hands over every inch of you, mapping it out as if trying to etch it to his memory. He gave you a few moments before he shifted, hands gripping your backside as he thrust up into you. His arms came around your hips, holding you tight before flipping you, with your back to the mattress, his thrusts increasing in pace, your plush lips parting as moans of his name filled the moonlit room. 

You struggled to keep your eyes open, the urge to give in to the pleasure and close your eyes was overwhelming. But you kept them open, looking up at Chanyeol. 

He was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.  

His beauty felt unreal. The way the soft moonlight illuminated his handsome features, skin glistening with a sheen of sweat, every bare inch of his body glowing, literally glowing. As he bend forward and tilted his head to claim your lips in a soft, sloppy kiss, you ran your hands through his silky locks.

You could never get enough of him. You could never move on from him. Just looking at him pulled at your heartstrings, throat constricting with all the unknown and unspoken and unexplored feelings and words you are not yet ready to embrace, even though you knew. He brought his hand to your cheek, tentatively brushing the sensitive skin under your eyes.

“Chanyeol...” Your voice was nothing more than a breathy whimper, he pulled his hand back, rising up and kissing you on your forehead, your name a chant on his lips, his blood, his soul, his existence. He slid his hand between your bodies and rub into you, making your stomach clench.

“Please. Don’t go. Please....” Even with the way he was above you and writhing under, he sounded so broken, so desperate. It was as if all his pleas were slowly but surely banging of the ironclad walls of your heart and with this one, his length filling you up wonderfully, fingers making you clench in euphoric pleasure, this one was the final nail in the coffin.

You rose up on your elbows, brushing your lips against his, breaths mingling as you whispered against his lips, “I’m not going anywhere, Chanyeol.”

That was all what the tall man needed and few more of his miraculous touches, you unraveled under him, his name a string of chants and you spilled all over him. his body jerked above yours, tumbling into the abyss with you, his grip on your hip so hard that you knew it’d bruise.

Your thighs quivered as he pulled out of you, his body fell alongside yours, the room that was filled with moans and pants and whimpers was now silent, yet it was abuzz with unspoken questions and uncertain answers. The silence was broken with his deep voice.

“Please, y/n. I know my track record of dating isn’t that impressive but please... give me a chance. Small steps? Please.”

You turned to look at him, his eyes were downcast, he was fidgeting with his fingers, fear of a looming rejection written all over his features.

You sighed, tilting his chin with a finger, you let your lips brush against his, not really a kiss but rather a fleeting contact. You pulled back as you said, almost fearful of your next words.

“You can start by not leaving, Yeol.”

He heaved an audible sigh of relief at your words, arms wrapping around you as he pulled you close, burying his nose in your neck, taking a deep breath and peppering featherlight kisses. Your fingers moved softly through his hair, eyelids heavy as you found yourself drifting off into the land of sleep to the sound of his steady heartbeat.

Chanyeol held your weak heart in his skillful hands and all you could do was pray that he didn’t break it again.

.

You opened your eyes to the sunlight filtering through your curtains and you found a small smile making it’s way to your lips at the warmth that seeped into you, at the heavy arm slung around your waist, the grip nowhere suffocating rather comfortingly tight, the kind that makes you feel safe.

Yes, the road ahead was uncertain and was filled with a lot of obstracles to overcome, but you’ll find a way.

Together. 

But right now, all you wanted to do was bask in this feeling. In this wonderful feeling of being in his arms, being his.

. . . . .

Final Note:- and it is over. i know i’m perhaps being too sentimental but this fic means a lot to me. The prequel of this piece was my first ever request as a writer. it is very special for me. writing this was an experience i will never forget. thank you all once again. oh and yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY EXOLS! Let’s Love for a very long time! ily <3333