chaos crowd

private writing blog by c.

[chaoscrowdsarch]

“i just want to look at you like this for a moment.” / @giulscribes

kyungsoo nods, his lips curling into a soft, genuine smile as he remains where he is, a calm oasis in the whirlwind of emotions surrounding them. he should have never taken these small, quiet moments for granted. never did he know he’d find himself in a position where he would have to worry that his lover might never wake up from his coma. now that he has eden back — well, maybe not fully, given that most of the man’s memories from the past decade are like shadows, just out of reach — he is determined to cherish every moment, no matter how small. “it is quite flattering how much you like staring at me, you know.” he says, amusement dancing in his eyes. “artists are lovers of all things beautiful, after all.”

[chaoscrowdsarch]

“i’m so scared i’m gonna fuck this up.” / @giulscribes

“no, you’re not going to.” is it too early to tell? maybe, but she can feel it deep in her bones, a sense of certainty carving its way through her uncertainty. fingers entwine with his as they lie on the sofa in the living room, remnants of the day spent moving him into her place lingering in the air — a mix of excitement and trepidation. she can tell that this is the right step in the right direction, a leap of faith that feels both daunting and exhilarating. she wishes there were an easier way to extract all of his worries, to take them on herself, but this is something he must handle on his own. still, she’s resolute in her determination to remain right by his side throughout the storms that may arise. “we’re going to be okay.” she assures him, her voice a gentle promise, unsure whether it’s more directed at him or herself. her thumb grazes softly against his knuckles, the warmth of their connection grounding them both. “there’s a reason why the universe decided to bring us back together.” because this is what feels right to them — he is who’s right for her.

[krystaljungs]

FAMILY BY CHOICE 조립식 가족 episode 07, dir. Kim Seung Ho

[deathgasmic]

i'm like a stray dog in a lot of ways but i will not elaborate on that

[firstprinced]

Heated Rivalry | 1.05

[chaoscrowdsarch]

“look! who’s here?” the words tumble off her lips, a giddy rush of sound, overflowing with unrestrained excitement, a wide, beaming smile spreading across her face, illuminating her features. a rosy blush, warm and inviting, colours her cheeks, flushed with the intoxicating effects of the evening. “that’s my favourite person in the world!” / @giulscribes

[giulscribes]

he wouldn't say he missed the atmosphere, not too fond of the drunk bodies slamming into him; nevertheless, reconnecting with some familiar aspects of his childhood and teenagehood is more than welcome — namely, his best friend. his best friend who, unsurprisingly, only got more b e a u t i f u l with age. thankfully, yunho had — to an extent — grown out of turning into a stuttering mess around crushes. he lifts the drink, humming his approval at the fruity beverage, “ to us. ” he leans back into his seat, attention on her, and only her. “ so, what's up with you? catch me up with your life. ”

[chaoscrowdsarch]

“to us." seoah says, her voice a low murmur, lifting the glass to clink softly against his, before taking a sip of the drink, deliberately keeping her gaze fixed above his chest, a conscious effort to avoid temptation, though it is becoming increasingly harder with each passing moment. their long overdue reunion is undeniably not a good time for her to marvel at how much hotter he’s gotten — if there's ever a truly good time at all — not to mention the inconvenient truth that she’s not exactly single, though her current relationship is undeniably crumbling. “life, uh, it’s been good.” she stutters after a moment, the words catching in her throat, her attention completely lost somewhere between his glistening, sun-kissed skin and his alluring dimples. “got its ups and downs, but it’s mostly alright.” she confirms, forcing a lightness into her voice, “i got that job at the museum i’ve always wanted earlier this year… just got back from a great trip from europe. can’t say there’s much to complain about.” she concludes, a hint of forced cheerfulness in her tone. she pauses as she realises she’s rambling, nervously filling the silence, before she finally returns the question. “how about you?”

[giulscribes]

“ unless quentin tarantula, the spider, counts then you're the first one. ” humor to deflect — and play it nonchalant, although seojung knows her enough to understand the importance of getting the first look at the place — is typical chae behavior. “ it's still a mess, and there's much left to do, but thank you. ” she coaxes him deeper into the studio space, steering him towards a stack of developed photographs and motions for him to have a look, making good on her promise to show seojung her work. somehow, the buzzing beneath her skin isn't unease but rather giddiness. years later, seojung is still the safest place for her creativity.

[chaoscrowdsarch]

“oh, wow.” seojung blinks, a surprised flutter of his eyelashes, unsure why he’s been let in at such a significant time, a moment fraught with unspoken meaning, but a part of him understands, remembering how he was there for her through the arduous pursuit of her dreams, just as she had been for him. “ah, so that’s the plan — getting me here so you’d get free cleaning service?” he jests, a playful glint in his eyes, though he genuinely wouldn’t have minded visiting even if chae had brazenly announced such a mercenary plan in advance. a genuine smile spreads over his lips, crinkling the corners of his eyes, as she leads him to the captivating collection of photographs, his eyes drinking in each one with genuine appreciation. “no one does it quite like you.” he expresses his awe, his voice soft with admiration, as his gaze remains lost in the world as captured through her unique lens, a proud smile hanging over his lips.

[giulscribes]

“ you got somewhere else to be? ” the scowl on his lips only gets worse, the agitation rearing to be let loose scorches everything in its stead, stealing the last thread of his sanity. “ someone else to see? ” the words, laced with venom and giving away the root of eden's ire, are out before his brain-to-mouth filter gets a chance to kick into action. the memory of kyungsoo's bed warmer walking out with the first ray of light that very morning is scorched in his memory — the gut punch of b e t r a y a l, the illusion of their entanglement being something special for both kyungsoo and himself shattering then and there, along with a piece of his heart.

[chaoscrowdsarch]

kyungsoo narrows his eyes, a flicker of confusion clouding his gaze, before eden’s barbed words finally unlock something he might have missed. “what are you even talking about?” frustration bleeds into his tone, a sharp edge to his voice, before it dawns on him that eden might have conjured some phantom assumption from his previous night out, a figment of his jealous imagination. “it’s not even — ” a hollow laugh stumbles out of him then, a brittle sound that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, leaving them shadowed and wounded. “you’re one to talk when you’ve got a whole husband waiting for you.” he retorts, a defensive wall rising around him. he has a nagging feeling that any attempt to explain himself would be swallowed by the storm of eden's anger, unheard and unheeded, so he doesn’t even bother, retreating into his own circling, wounded thoughts, a silent retreat from the impending conflict.

[giulscribes]

he doesn't take offense to freddie's outburst, pressing down against his cheekbone a bit more firmly to echo the unvoiced sentiment. “ i know it is what you wanted. ” he hasn't once suspected freddie to walk a different wavelength, and dearly paying the price for it is the unfortunate consequence — something he very much believes to be punishment by the younger's manager for daring to think for himself rather than following the man's orders blindly. thinking about the man fuels the rage licking beneath his skin, and only freddie's following words — stealing a bewildered, but no less approving, cackle from his lungs — prevent silas from hunting the man down for bloody retaliation. one day. the curve of his lips is downright devilish, “ you brilliant mastermind, you. ” he loops the song to the beginning, letting the heavy beats spark creativity, a vivid mental picture of the mv painting behind his fluttering eyelids. “ want to help me find your doppelgänger? ” he shuffles closer to freddie, lips to his ear, “ i want you in it too, for the backshots. ” the word choice deliberate and silas' widening smirk illustrating as much.

[chaoscrowdsarch]

he feels worse when silas begins to comfort him, the soft touch of his hand a stark reminder of his own outburst, knowing that he shouldn’t have lost his temper in the first place, even if it was just for a fleeting moment. tears surge in his eyes over a matter of seconds, blurring his vision, and he hates how weak he feels at this moment, vulnerable and exposed, while his world decays around him, deserting him simply for the crime of falling in love. “i’m sorry." he whispers, his voice cracking with emotion. even though this crime isn’t his, even though this guilt shouldn’t be his to carry. lips curl up into something more mischievous, a playful glint returning to his eyes, when silas acknowledges his wicked mind — it’s true that he’s not as harmless and innocent as he might seem at first glance, a hidden fire burning beneath the surface. “it might not be the easiest, but we’ve got to try.” he is, after all, praised for his ethereal beauty that’s uniquely his, and while he doesn’t take the words fully to heart, he has to admit, at least, that he’s got quite a characteristic presence that’s hard to replicate. shivers run down his spine from the whisper to his ear. “it’ll just be shadows and silhouettes… unless you want my agency to sue your pants off.” the song replays from the start, the background layer of the song now sounding more familiar, and brings a blush to his cheeks, the needy moans woven with the addictive melody, a seductive undercurrent that makes his breath catch in his throat. “is that… my voice? from the video?”

[dailyworldcinema]

DEAR EX ‘誰先愛上他的’ dir. Mag Hsu, Chih-yen Hsu

[userbeaufort]

Maxton Hall Season 1, Episode 3

[giulscribes]

“ you should have seen the other guy. ” he did not purposely ram his two-seaters into another one in his garage, nor did much to avoid the collision, seeing the b u m p as his opportunity to approach seth. a chuckle sits on the tip of his tongue once recognition dawns on him, the look on the other man's face reminiscent of their high school days, but luca's features remain neutral. he motions to his car, raising an eyebrow, “ should i take my business elsewhere? ”

[chaoscrowdsarch]

"you should've brought him here... could have given you guys a joint discount." seth jests, not a hint of seriousness in his tone. after all, he was once all too used to messing with luca and old habits die hard. if it's up to him, he would say yes simply because it's easier to not face someone from a past he hopes to put behind, but this isn't his shop and he has a job to keep. "no. you must be in luck cause we've got a free spot for you." as far as the car is concerned, anyway. "it'll take at least a few hours though... or you can swing by tomorrow afternoon to pick it up."

[giulscribes]

the photographer's gaze pointedly steers away from the bright tug of her ex lover's lips, no longer quite equipped to handle its maddening effect. “ don't take it for granted, it's a one-time deal, ” she hammers the point, the faux indignation melting into something fond, something close to r e l i e f that seojung is once again in her space, her life. “ if anyone deserves the first look at the new studio, it's you. ”

[chaoscrowdsarch]

"got it." but he can't make promises that he'll be punctual always, the words impossible to ensure given his demanding schedules and as the artist, he usually has to go along with what's arranged for him. "i'm the first one to take a look at the studio... really?" he asks, a hint of disbelief in his voice as his heart stirs dangerously in his chest. "congrats on the place — it looks great." even before she gives him the full tour, he can already tell that the place is what she dreamed of from all the way back, and now she's finally brought her dream to fruition.

[giulscribes]

“ i'm sure. ” he has made his stance rather clear, time and again. made his distaste toward freddie's management ostrich way of dealing with their private life getting exposed l o u d, becoming something of an unshakable thorn in their sides. releasing the song would be a nail in the coffin, as well as a show of unity between the lovers, a statement of loyalty to one another rather than the puppeteer controlling his boyfriend's strings. “ we have stayed hidden long enough and i reckon, it's time we take the matter into our own hands. babe, keeping silent made the aftermath uglier than if we'd spoken up about being together. ” while a leaked sex tape was not ideal for anyone, silas got away with it without much noise, but freddie got the worst of the backlash. “ i can't stand sitting back and doing nothing. ” it goes against every instinct in his body.

[chaoscrowdsarch]

he's not entirely opposed to it, but he can't say he's unafraid of the media attention being back on him again. yet he cannot find a flaw in silas' argument and deep down, he knows that he should fight back instead of obeying his agency's every whim. then again, he is bound by a damning contract but silas isn't, so he shouldn't have to treat the constraints as his own, lest let it limit his creative freedom in any way. "don't you think that's what i wanted, too?" there's an unexpected hint of snappiness in his voice, one that he regrets immediately and the panic in his gaze shows as much. after all, he is the one who's getting cyberbullied 24/7 and it's something that silas doesn't have to live himself — but it's far from silas' fault, either, that life is being so unfair for him. he takes a deep breath and gives a nod, still nervous but aware that what silas is suggesting is the right thing to do. after a long pause, he speaks again. "you should cast someone who looks like me for the mv, that'll make my manager's pending heart attack even worse."

[chaoscrowdsarch]

"nice car... but that must've been a hell of a bump." seth comments casually, before he pauses in his track when the face of the new customer enters his vision. no fucking way. if he can run away without being caught, he might just do it. "... what are you doing here?" stupid question. "how did you..." find me? then again, this could be entirely accidental, nothing more than a cruel joke by fate itself and it's not as though fate has ever been on his side. / @giulscribes

[giulscribes]

inspiration strikes at two am. in a trance, he'd rolled out of bed, made a beeline for his home studio, and put together his little plan. luckily, the team he surrounded himself with was more than willing to go along and create a masterpiece out of his sleep-deprived lunacy. smugness rolls off the man as a telltale flush crawls over his boyfriend's cheeks, a light rumble of laughter echoing in his chest once the beats come to an end. “ catchy enough to release? ” an eyebrow pulls upward, the message quite clear — take control of the narrative, trample over freddie's management instructions to keep quiet, embrace the exposed sensual aspect of their dynamic. he leans over, crowding into freddie's personal space, thumb rubbing across the apple of his cheek, “ it's up to you, only you. not anyone else. ”

[chaoscrowdsarch]

bright eyes widen further from the question, his heart beating with nervousness and something akin to anticipation. he can only imagine the buzz that will surround them again upon the release of the song, the rumours that are starting to die down with new, distracting scandals might just spring to life again. but it will be a powerful statement, an unapologetic middle finger at anyone who’s got a problem with the pair or freddie for not abiding to what’s expected from him. the soft sounds of silas’ laugher bring another kind of warmth to him, the comforting kind, as does the tender touch to his cheek. “it is.” he answers after a moment of hesitation, yet his gaze grows firmer with time. “are you sure you want to bring the spotlight back on us again?”