currently losing my shit

bee / minor / white / she/her, he/him battleaxe bi, ace exclus dni: terfs/swerfs, radfems, maps + map supporters, racists, homophobes/transphobes

[chaotic-battleaxebi]

uhhh hello

you can call me bee, im a minor who uses she/her and he/him, and I only recently found out about all this discourse bullshit so I uh made this blog I guess. Dunno, I’m new to tumblr.

Anyways here’s some of my opinions on LGBT+ discourse stuff

Truscums/transmeds r dumb

“Mspec lesbians” are also dumb

Pansexuality is an inherently biphobic and harmful label that only exists due to people having internalized biphobia and wanting to feel more inclusive. It is built entirely off of misconceptions and not wanting to be associated with stereotypes of bisexuals.

Ace/aro people, while valid, aren’t inherently LGBT+. If ur cis, ace and romantically attracted only to the opposite gender, you’re a cishet. Cishets arent lgbt+. Radical inclusivity is more harmful than helpful.

Demisexuality isn’t a thing. Almost everyone is by definition demisexual. Needing to form a connection before wanting to fuck or having any romantic feelings is an entirely normal thing that almost everyone experiences.

Pronouns =/= gender

I’m willing to debate (peacefully) with people with opposing opinions but please don’t be fuckin rude lmao.

[joongus]

“op is a panphobe” ok so op is sexy and doesn’t support a biphobic identity ??

[chaotic-battleaxebi]

uhhh hello

you can call me bee, im a minor who uses she/her and he/him, and I only recently found out about all this discourse bullshit so I uh made this blog I guess. Dunno, I’m new to tumblr.

Anyways here’s some of my opinions on LGBT+ discourse stuff

Truscums/transmeds r dumb

“Mspec lesbians” are also dumb

Pansexuality is an inherently biphobic and harmful label that only exists due to people having internalized biphobia and wanting to feel more inclusive. It is built entirely off of misconceptions and not wanting to be associated with stereotypes of bisexuals.

Ace/aro people, while valid, aren’t inherently LGBT+. If ur cis, ace and romantically attracted only to the opposite gender, you’re a cishet. Cishets arent lgbt+. Radical inclusivity is more harmful than helpful.

Demisexuality isn’t a thing. Almost everyone is by definition demisexual. Needing to form a connection before wanting to fuck or having any romantic feelings is an entirely normal thing that almost everyone experiences.

Pronouns =/= gender

I’m willing to debate (peacefully) with people with opposing opinions but please don’t be fuckin rude lmao.

[ace-oppression]

With the demisexual thing, you're confusing "being sexually attracted to them" with "wanting to seriously go have sex with them right now."

You know how, if you see someone you think is hot, you might tell your friend, "omg that person who sits between us in English can Get It," but obviously you don't mean, "I would be comfortable having all the sex with them immediately, if they're into it we're gonna find the janitor's closet"? Nobody means that? You just mean you're sexually attracted to them?

THAT is what demis don't experience.

Someone who's demi is kinda (metaphorically) screwed, in my understanding, because they could date someone for like a year, or many years, before they even find out if they're sexually attracted to their partner.

They mean they need to form a deep, emotionally intimate, personal connection before it's even possible for them to experience that attraction, which might not happen anyway.

They don't mean that they feel attraction, but want to get to know someone first.

Also, pansexuality exists because of trans people. Pansexuality became an alternative label in the 90s, because a lot of trans/nb people liked it. It's still almost entirely trans people who use it, statistically.

There are a lot more labels than that, and most people use more than one. In my experience, the majority of pan people also identify as bi.

And frankly, it's true that some people aren't comfortable calling themselves bi, and use omni or poly or queer or "I don't like labels", etc, instead. Not feeling "bi enough" is practically the universal bi experience.

You can't fix that by telling them they're bad people using a bad label. You fix it by being supportive of the entire community, and pushing other communities to be waaaaay more supportive too.

[ace-oppression]

Oh, I forgot mspec lesbians.

Idk: there have been people using "bi lesbian," "bi-dyke," and "byke" since at least the late 70s and early 80s. Usually because they don't have access to bi community, history, or culture, their entire lives have been spent in the lesbian community, and they're facing incredible pushback against even saying they're bi.

Lesbian culture has always been perfectly happy to claim any woman kissing/dating/wanting to date another woman as a lesbian. And happy to include them in history and groups and events and activism. Regardless of who they've dated in the past, and who they're attracted to. Just as long as they don't start dating a dude, or (even worse), insisting on being called bi.

(Lesbian Twitter is the exception - and even that is really only since the bi lesbian discourse started last year.)

The only concrete arguments I've seen anyone made against "bi lesbian" are

1. "You're changing what our word means" (not true. After 40 years of this, the reaction to anyone saying "I'm a bi lesbian" is still "a what?? How can you be a bi lesbian??")

2. "Cis straight men will hear this and sexually harass/assault lesbians, bc they think lesbians can be attracted to men!"

A dude who doesn't respect boundaries, doesn't respect boundaries. This argument is basically, "we know how they treat bi women, and we don't want them associating us with bi women and treating us the same way!"

Honestly, I don't care what people call themselves. Letting people choose what to call themselves, as well as what pronouns to use, seems to me like just basic boundaries.

But the fact that the main argument against "bi lesbian" ended up being, "real lesbians will get assaulted, and it will be their fault!"... in a world where cis bi women actually have even higher sexual assault rates than trans people? And there are maybe two resources for bi survivors globally, and no funding for them?

That just makes me so mad that I have to actively defend the label.

[chaotic-battleaxebi]

Welp

First off, how does that make “demisexual” people LGBT+ in any way? If you believe demisexuality is valid then okay, but you have to admit that people needing to wait a while before they experience attraction to someone (which, again, is a very normal experience) isn’t like. An LGBT+ thing.

Second off, about the pansexuality thing: created by trans people or not, it still frames bisexuality as a label that is exclusive of trans people which is super, super bad. I swear to god, people wouldn’t be so hesitant to call themselves bi if we didn’t have a million different labels meaning the same thing that “bisexual” originally did but claiming to be more inclusive. I’ve said it time and time again, READ THE BI MANIFESTO. Instead of not using the label of bisexual due to stereotypes and discrimination against us, fight against that shit, because identifying as a label that promotes bi erasure just contributes to it.

And about the mspec lesbian thing: yes, I know that “lesbian” used to be a term used to describe all wlw. The issue is, lesbians and bisexuals have spent a lot of time and effort trying to make our identities separate labels and we’ve somewhat succeeded. We don’t need people in the year 2021 claiming to be both bisexual and lesbian, seeing as those identities are inherently exclusive of each other. Someone cannot be bi and a lesbian. I can somewhat see it happening using the SAM, but in that case just say you’re a homosexual biromantic or a bisexual homoromantic. But lesbian implies both romantic and sexual attraction to other women (and enbies sometimes, depends on the person)

[chaotic-battleaxebi]

Im actually super confused on why ppl WANT cisgender heteroromantic aces and cisgender heterosexual aros in the LGBT+ community lmao

If they’re cis and they only feel attraction to the opposite gender they’re a cishet. They can face struggles due to being ace/aro but that doesn’t make them LGBT+. All this is genuinely confusing and I haven’t seen a single inclus with an argument other than “b-but the LGBT+ community is supposed to be inclusive!!!”

Yes. Inclusive of lgbt ppl. Yknow. The people that the community is for?? The people that had to fight for their basic human rights??? Since when have we EVER included cishets lmao

[chaotic-battleaxebi]

Ok so I’m actually genuinely confused on why the. Toothpaste flag. Needs to exist

[digihowl]

gonna lose my mind if i have to see the toothpaste flag again.

how many times do lesbians need to say its bad for it to stop being used. it enforces that “pink girls blue boys” shit. it doesnt enforce solidarity. at least make a better flag that isnt A. color shifted or B. “”inspired” by a preexisting flag with meaning and history behind it. stfu about “solidarity”, you can stand with us by actually supporting lesbians with a flag that doesnt look like mouthwash.

how many gay men need to say its bad for it to stop being used. it goes and shoves aside all the history behind the gay flag. and while yes its definitely used as an umbrella flag, gay men have stood behind it for decades. plus theres the more recent progress flag (the one with the black, brown, and trans colors in addition to the rainbow) that is much more of an umbrella flag than anything.

in addition, the mouthwash one was also made by a transmed so stop using it anyway lmao. lesbians recognized the lipstick one was made by a shit person and adopted the sunset one instead. its easy to make a different flag that isnt copied off another.